Over the objections of President-elect Barack Obama and the Democratic leadership in Congress, embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich has chosen Plaxico Burress to replace Obama in the United States Senate.

The selection of Burress, the New York Giants’ star wide receiver who faces criminal charges after accidentally shooting himself in the leg last month, took lawmakers by surprise.  Blagojevich, himself facing federal prosecution for corruption, was not expected to fill the vacant Senate seat, but he said that the opportunity to select Burress was “too good to pass up.”

“In Plaxico Burress, we have a man who has inspired millions of average Americans to dream that they too can someday make headlines – in both the sports section and the police blotter,” said Blagojevich. “Sure, he doesn’t have any political experience or knowledge of what goes on in the Senate, but he does have heart. That, and millions of dollars to contribute to my 2016 presidential campaign.”

Blagojevich turned to Burress after approaching dozens of other candidates who all turned down the job, fearing that an endorsement from the Illinois governor could ruin their careers.  Burress’ career, though, has nowhere to go but up.  Consumed by his court proceedings, he also appears to be the only person in America who is completely unaware of the scandal that has enveloped Blagojevich.

“I thank the governor for overlooking the fact that I’ve never lived in Illinois and drafting me for this important position,” Burress said in accepting the nomination.  “The U.S. Senate is a place where I can speak my mind and not get fined for it.”

After the press conference, Obama released a statement condemning Blagojevich’s move.

“Plaxico Burress would be on anyone’s short list for the Senate,” he said.  “But how can he properly serve the people of Illinois when Gov. Blagojevich has rubbed his taint all over him?”

No one was available for comment.

LL was so entranced by the criminal complaint filed by federal prosecutors against Elvis-lovin', bad-hair-wearin', newspaper-blackmailin' Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (or is that ROD BLAGOJEVICH) that he thoroughly blew his columnar deadline while he read every page of the thing.

For the rest of the day, LL was somewhat morose, as he pondered what might have been had he stayed a little closer to his ancestral home in Northwest Indiana—maybe taken that scholarship up at Loyola University Chicago, scrapped his way into a job writing politics for the local alt rag...

All of this navelgazing is a really longwinded way of telling you to check out the blanket coverage of the Blago "crime spree" provided by our corporate cousins over at the Chicago Reader.

Really prime stuff there—especially from Michael Miner, who writes, "It was the first time in ages when if you were a reporter at a newspaper in Chicago you wouldn't have wanted to hold any other job in the world."

It was also the first time in ages LL thought he'd rather be doing his job in another town. Then he realized Marion Barry still holds elective office here.

Crisis averted.

Read the criminal complaint [PDF] filed today by federal prosecutors against Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. Just read it. Start on Page 54.

So much for No Drama Obama!

Here's just one good passage: "ROD BLAGOJEVICH said that the consultants (Advisor B and another consultant are believed to be on the call at that time) are telling him that he has to “suck it up” for two years and do nothing and give this “motherfucker [the President-elect] his senator. Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.” ROD BLAGOJEVICH states that he will put “[Senate Candidate 4]” in the Senate “before I just give fucking [Senate Candidate 1] a fucking Senate seat and I don’t get anything.” (Senate Candidate 4 is a Deputy Governor of the State of Illinois)."

And another: "ROD BLAGOJEVICH stated that his decision about the open Senate seat will be based on three criteria in the following order of importance: “our legal situation, our personal situation, my political situation. This decision, like every other one, needs to be based upon on that. Legal. Personal. Political.”