Full trailer will debut ahead of Bandslam, opening Friday. Until then, squeal accordingly:

Or just go to the art houses and avoid that conundrum altogether. Follow the links for reviews:

Up: Can’t imagine what an animated movie about an old geezer, a boy scout, and a floating house could possibly offer? It’s Pixar, so plenty.

Drag Me to Hell: Sam Raimi’s return to horror is at an astonishing 94 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Evil Dead fans rejoice; anyone else remotely interested in the genre should get to a theater and get spooked old-school, pronto.

Moscow, Belgium: This Belgian romantic dramedy about a separated mother and her fling with a much younger anti-stud is more comic than depressing, though not a bit like Hollywood romcoms. For most of you, that will register as a good thing.

Revanche: A Ukrainian prostitute, an ex-con, and a police officer — it may sound like the setup of a joke, but they’re actually the main characters of this Austrian drama that goes a bit deeper than you might expect from any film that includes a brothel and a bank robbery gone awry.

Little Ashes: Edward Cullen…er, Robert Pattinson stars in this Salvador Dali biopic. Reportedly, Pattinson doesn’t suck in his Twilight follow-up, but the film sure does.

Those of you who care surely already know, but those who don’t might want to avoid certain retail locations once the sun goes down tonight.

Twilight, that suckalicious sparkling-vampire movie starring Robert Pattinson (eeeee!) and Kristen Stewart (Bella!), is out on DVD tomorrow. But it’s not any ol’ DVD release: It’s a two-disc Special Edition DVD, and it’s going on sale in just less than 12 hours, complete with parties at Borders, Walmart, and Blockbuster locations across the country officially starting at 10 p.m.

Certainly, though, the lines will form much, much earlier. Especially considering that the Twilight folks have not only promised plenty o’ giveaways, but “Twilight actors and filmmakers will be making surprise appearances at select locations throughout the country!”

And if those facts don’t make you faint, you’ll certain need a splash of water to the face and a cookie if you decide to give plasma at one of the blood drives select Walmarts will host. It’s unclear whether the Clinton, Md., store — apparently the only Walmart throwing a Twilight party — will be participating.

For more information and to find the location of the nearest screechfest, go to twilightthemovie.com.

Start lining up outside Borders now: Twilight will be released in a special, 2,394-hour DVD Special Edition on March 21.

Surely, Amazon’s preorders are already through the roof. If you haven’t heard the details yet, the package will be “packed with bonus features that are sure to please even the most hardcore Twilighter.

“They include extended and deleted scenes, three music videos, a commentary with director Catherine Hardwicke, Robert Pattinson, and Kristen Stewart, a featurette on the “Comic-Con Phenomenon” and an in-depth, seven-part documentary, The Adventure Begins: The Journey from Page to Screen, that takes the fan through each step of the film-making process.”

A seven-part doc! That should appease even the most ardent Twihards. (Yeah, I said it.)

(OK, so the announcement isn’t exactly “just in.” But until I can program RSS feeds to set off my alarm clock, I’ll typically be as useful as dead-tree papers in terms of reporting breaking news.)

So, my dear Twilight fans: Taylor Lautner will be back, despite being toyed with by Summit Entertainment and the People Who Make Decisions these last few weeks that they may not want him for the franchise’s second installment, New Moon. It’s a pleasant surprise, considering that the widely reported rumors were practically eulogistic.

That’s right, I said PLEASANT. I may have picked on director Catherine Hardwicke, writer Stephenie Meyer, and star Robert Pattinson for Twilight’s tediousness.

But I blame Lautner for nothing — as Jacob, the Native American complication in the Bella-Edward love story, the erstwhile Sharkboy did good. He smiled, he charmed, he made the young girls cry. (Or at least squeal.) Way to go!

And now, let’s hear from you. Don’t be shy!

After this post, I’m totally shutting up about Twilight. (Unless, of course, Taylor Lautner’s not invited back to reprise his squeal-inducing role as Jacob Black in the sequel, which would be the biggest news ever.)

But I had to say something about Robert Pattinson’s recent remark to OK! magazine about why he’s not looking forward to filming the franchise’s next installment, New Moon. Pattinson claimed that his lifeless-in-a-bad-way performance as hottie vampire Edward Cullen was marred because of..contact lenses.

“Wearing coloured contact lenses… It was like I constantly had sand in my eyes. I was wearing them for three months constantly and my eyes never ever accepted them! It took me 20 minutes per eye every single day and I ended up having to literally fold it into my eyeball.”

And the star believes the dreaded lenses may inhibit his acting skills – because he couldn’t properly portray his character’s emotions due to the “two orange blobs” in his eyes.

He adds, “It was frustrating as well because normally your eyes are saying something, but if you’ve got two orange blobs in your face it’s so annoying!

“The director (Catherine Hardwicke) would say, ‘Look at her (Kristen Stewart) like you love her,’ and I’d be like, ‘I’m trying!’”

Oh Robert, that explains everything. Now what’s the rest of the cast’s excuse?

An actor faces a lot of pressure when tapped to embody a beloved fictional character. But try living up to fan expectations when the author who birthed said character describes him as “devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful,” with a “musical voice” and “soft, enchanting laugh.”

Those adjectives — along with many, many others that reiterate his perfection — add up to Edward Cullen, the heartthrob teenage vampire who helped Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series become exalted as “the next Harry Potter.” Which would be accurate, if only the novels were better written. And the stories appealed to boys as well as giggly girls (albeit of all ages, apparently). And — most crucial — if the franchise’s inaugural big-screen adaptation by director Catherine Hardwicke didn’t suck more than its vampires actually do.

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