For the impossibly scrutable print platform of Washington City Paper, I wrote this week about Dan Snyder's pinching the good name of Robert F. Kennedy.

OK, just the guy's good initials. But still. Snyder named the new party deck at FedExField the "RFK Standing Stomping Club" but never asked permission from the Kennedys or RFK Stadium's owners. Pick up a copy, read the column, pray for a bumper crop of dirty Craigslistesque personals to return to our pages, commit a random act.

Snyder is a trademark obsessive. He won't let anybody use the marks he owns, and he loves trying to claim ownership of all sorts of words and phrases to make money off them. When he first bought the Redskins in 1999, he immediately began banning the use of the team's name in any marketing scheme, publication title, or TV news segment unless he got paid for that use. That's his right. As pointed out in the piece, during his disastrous run atop the board of directors at Six Flags, he tried to register the phrase "You Are Here" with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

"You Are Here"? Really? Really!

(He's also been on the verge of losing federal trademark protections for "Redskins" for years because of its racist undertones. And overtones. And whole tones.)

So it's rather impossible to think Snyder would go ahead and put "RFK" on FedEx's new standing-room-only section, where tickets run a ridiculous $152.50 plus tens of dollars in, um, convenience fees per, without considering that those letters weren't his to play with.

But maybe, in the end, Snyder's within his rights: Since Robert Kennedy is a historical figure and not an entertainer, the legal waters run muddy when it comes to infringement. Had Snyder called the SRO area the Dead Kennedys Standing Stomping Club, he'd've been sued and would've lost.

But, legal or not, "RFK" wasn't the best choice. Forget that the Kennedys are pissed about Bobby's initials going on the Standing Stomping Grounds. Given that the new sections are supposed to be all about Hooters girls and budget unconsciousness, shouldn't Snyder have named the place after Teddy Kennedy?

A GRIDIRON AFFAIR

In a time when some doubt the DOMINANCE of the BURGUNDY and GOLD, we must remember where the fear and the Dominance of the Burgundy & Gold came... It has been 17years since our mighty Burgundy and Gold Donned the Phrase... "SUPERBOWLCHAMPION."

Well, sometimes in Supporting the Present you first have to understand and Celebrate your Past, because in your past, you find the compos that guides your future.  Inspiration comes from Greatness and Greatness come from Inspiration… In December … Greatness is coming back to the Washington, DC metropolitan area... At the place where it all started...

This isn't the first time Clark has put out a party invitation, or used the sort of punctuation generally found on ransom notes. One difference from previous Clark invites: There's no specific date on this one. Or specific time. Or specific venue. Just "where it all started."

Vagueness can be a virtue.

Last month, Clark started advertising and offering tickets for what was billed as "The Ultimate Tailgate" party and Super Bowl gala. There would be a battle of the bands, the invitation promised, plus a massive video-game tournament with Chris Cooley participating, Joe Gibbs and Dan Snyder speeches, a Monte Carlo Night extravaganza and appearances by every player on every Redskins Super Bowl team. The dreamy all-day event, according to the promos, was going to be held on August 29 at RFK Stadium.

One of the many problems here: Nobody told RFK Stadium.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Who's on crack? LaVar Arrington goes deep? LaVar let you take a turn bashing Dan Snyder? Juwan Howard is still in the NBA? The Nats are still playing?)

When City Paper called the DC Sports and Entertainment Commission, which runs the stadium, about the August 29 event promoted on Clark's web site, DCSEC head Erik Moses said the commission had heard from Clark about his party plans but never got into serious discussions about it. Moses said that no such event was scheduled for the stadium at August 29 or any other date.

Clark shut down most of his web site after City Paper's inquiries, and told me that while some mistakes were made, and no matter what I'd been told by RFK Stadium's owners, his big bash was indeed going to be thrown. (During our meeting, Clark also kept telling me, "You're on crack!") But, Clark said, he'd moved the date from August 29 to December 29.

For a while, his web site had bare bones info about a Redskins party he was going to host at RFK on Dec. 29.

Well, slight problem: Dec. 29 is a Tuesday, and it's also the same day the EagleBank Bowl will be held at RFK.

Clark took down the Dec. 29 announcement a while ago. But, from his latest invite, he's still ready to party! So, save the date! Or, better just save all of December!

Remember: Ain't no party like a Gary Clark party!

***

The Lavar Arrington Show provides the best moments in DC sports talk these days.

Arrington's got stories that no other radio host can match, and he tells 'em amazingly. Last Wednesday on the air he told of his last moments as a pro football player, when he was playing for the New York Giants and having what he thought was one of the best games of his career on a "Monday Night Football" telecast in Dallas, and suddenly found himself laying on the field with his achilles heel tendons shredded. While on the ground getting sick from the pain, he recognized a portion of the nearby sidelines as the very spot where he put the hit on Troy Aikman KO'd the Cowboys QB and ended his career, and he couldn't stop looking at that patch of fake grass.

"I knew then that it was over for me, too," Arrington said.

If you missed that show, try to get it on a podcast or whatever. You'll thank me.

Then on yesterday's program, Arrington opened the phones forever to let callers rail about the game day experience at FedExField and otherwise pound on Redskins owner Dan Snyder.

These bash sessions may get old eventually. But considering how badly Arrington's run here in DC ended, with him joining a host of other players claiming Snyder lied to him during contract negotiations, and then having the organization slime him on his way out, for now it sounds like justice.

***

Juwan Howard won't get booed this time: AllAfrica.com reports that Howard will be in Uganda this weekend promoting Sprite and basketball.

Howard, a first-round pick of the Washington Bullets in 1994, had a short honeymoon here before he was run out of DC by fans for not living up to his $100 million-plus contract on or off the court, a combinatin of too many arrests and too few points in the paint.

But, he's still in the league after all these years, and played last season with Charlotte. The AllAfrica.com story says that the Uganda event will be related to an upcoming gathering sponsored by "Basketball Without Boarders." That's supposed to read "Basketball Without Borders," which is a charity group that uses hoops to promote US interests abroad.

But the slip from "borders" to "boarders" in this case is very Freudian:  Howard's trip was arranged by Miles and Associates, described in the story as "a US funded South African based organisation that promotes youth development mainly through basketball." But, far as I can tell, Miles and Associates, which has a DC office, also works as a scouting organization for U.S. high school athletic programs.

Among many stars the firm exported from what NPR calls "the Dark Continent" to our shores are Yao Sithole and Given Kalipinde, who finished at Episcopal High School in Alexandria. That's a boarding school, where Sithole and Kalipinde starred in soccer and hoops.

So, basketball without boarders? Forget that: Sounds like Miles and Associates is bent on finding boarders who can play some basketball.

***

The Nats don't blow all of a big lead and win, 5-4. John Lannan gets to 8-8. Given the way his team's played behind him all season, Lannan's record is Cy Young-ish. Three everyday guys are now hitting over .300. The Nats' two power hitters are hitting just sub-.300. Then again, what are we talking about this for?

It's football season!

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Turns out Manuel Zelaya WILL be in DC tomorrow. That's when the Honduras national team, which Zelaya used to control before his military gave him a red card and booted him out of the country, will face the US squad in a CONCACAF Gold Cup game at RFK.

Zelaya flew out of here on Sunday, headed for the Honduran capital of Tegucigalpa. But the folks who deposed him blocked the runways at the airport there. So Zelaya had to reroute to neighboring Nicaragua.

Now, AP is reporting that Zelaya is coming back to DC to meet with Hillary Clinton, to try to get the U.S. to put more pressure on his deposers to let him back in his home country.

I'm no Condoleezza Rice, but, as proposed in this very space last week, I'd advise Hillary to advise Zelaya to get his butt into a good seat opposite the TV cameras at RFK tomorrow night, to show the folks down south that El Presidente is backing the boys on enemy turf as they face Los Yanquies. (Sure, I learned whatever Spanish I know from listening to Los Lobos, so I have no idea if anybody down there calls Zelaya "El Presidente" or us "Los Yanquies." But tell me it doesn't sound right!)

Then after the game, Zelaya can board the team plane and head back to Honduras. Nobody's gonna block that runway!

Brilliant! I mean, um, fantastico!