This is rich. If you're among the first 50 people to bring a "pink slip" or some other document that explains you were recently shitcanned, plus a resume, to a plastic surgery clinic in Pentagon Row this Friday, a licensed technician there will give you shots of Botox. Why?

"A study published in the journal of Dermatologic Surgery found that women who had undergone Botox® injections in their brows, foreheads and eye wrinkles accrued higher attractiveness scores---a quality that lead researcher Steven Dayan says improves the first impressions people make when meeting a potential employer. Dayan...also posits that the confidence inspired by Botox® could give job–seekers a confidence boost and competitive edge in the interview process."

The recently shitcanned are invited to Reveal, 1101 S. Joyce St., Suite B6, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. along with recruiters looking for people desperate enough to think plumping up their worry lines will land them a job.

photo by gruntzooki.

A crusty newspaper editor, let's say he's in his late 50s, is forced to take a buyout. Faced with some time on his hands, he gets on Facebook to a) post photos of his small, blond granddaughter and b) network to find a job. A first cousin, close to him in age, friends him and starts "suggesting" he friend others on the family tree. Crusty Newspaper Editor (CNE) declines to do so. Later, he updates his status with a sad tale of leaving an afternoon ballgame to go to a job fair where no one wants a crusty newspaper editor's skills.

The problem? Fixated First Cousin (FFC) is stuck on the unfriended relatives and sees this status update as an opportunity to dig at Crusty Newspaper Editor. Second problem? Both of them are old and don't know when to take it offline.

Trainwreck exchange after the jump.

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After 35 years, Masters Tuxedo and Costumes on Columbia Pike in Annandale is closing shop. Until the end of this month, wigs, costumes, mascots, and other whackiness are going out the door for 75 percent off their original costs.

Although a touch picked over, there are still choice items to be had and tried on until the electricity in your hair can power up your iPod. As far as big-head mascots, what's left includes "Teletubbies, Winnie the Pooh...we have some bunnies, a lot of animals," says Luke, a manager who did not want to give his last name. Bert and Ernie heads, he confirmed, are still there.

Costumes that had been rented and are now for sale include '70s stuff, flapper outfits, original-style Star Trek gear. "We're pretty much out of the medieval and colonial stuff," Luke says, indicating the Ren-festers and William & Mary kids have already been through.

Luke's worked there for five years and is losing his job. "But we've known about it since November," he says. The other store in Arlington on South Four Mile Run is already closed. And in Annandale, there's a new tenant lined up. Apparently Taekwando, unlike 'fro wigs, is recession-proof.

Photo courtesy of the Masters Costumes Web site.

Washington Post biz reporter Frank Ahrens these days is Twittering the stock market, which has got to be a simultaneously exciting and baffling assignment. I've been watching the markets on and off for many years now, and each time I read a sum-up of the markets' "logic," I affix my hands to the sides of my head to keep it from spinning.

Take this morning. Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke tells Congress, according to the Post, that the economic contraction is "severe." Yet the markets are up, with the Dow posting a gain of about 90 points. I guess the markets already knew about that "severe" part. Let's see, what else could push the market up? Perhaps some layoff announcements!

No, what really appears to have sent a wave of hope on Wall Street was Bernanke's statement to Congress that the recession would end this year, after continued trouble throughout the first six months. Good thing that that guy from "Lie to Me," that terrible Fox program on outing fibbers, won't get a chance to cross-examine Bernanke. Does anyone else really believe that this economy is going to start coming back to life as soon as, like, August?

(200 block of West Glebe Road, Alexandria, Dec. 1)

During the Great Depression, the only two things people could seem to afford were bootleg liquor and Busby Berkley musicals, as both industries saw a rise in sales while the economy plummeted. But did the profits have anything to do with the depression?

The media have been making causal jumps between the economic downturn and the rise in luxury commodities, essentially asserting that these industries are "recession-proof": Amazon sales are up. Consignment sales are up. Cosmetic sales are up.  English coffee sales are up. McDonald's sales are up.

Seems to make sense: during rough economic periods people seek solace in indulgent spending, a type of economic escapism.

But linking rising sales in luxury goods to economic hardship is complete bullshit.

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