"Nothing's slower than a sick turtle," reads an anti-swine flu advert at the University of Maryland, reminding student Terps to practice proper coughing-and-sneezing etiquette and to wash their hands often.

Still, as of yesterday, there were 172 suspected cases of H1N1 at the university, according to the Associated Press. And the health center has canceled all non-emergency appointments (except for allergy and immunization services) for the rest of the week "due to the high incidence of influenza-like illness."

Read More "Swine Flu Hits University of Maryland: Will Students Really Wipe Down Doorknobs?" »

In a city like Washington with so many workaholics counting on fast food joints for sustenance, this story has maximum gross out potential: Despite those pervasive bathroom signs directing employees to wash up after using the loo, more than half of all fast-food industry workers don’t bother, according to a new study by the Federal Drug Administration.

Beyond the obvious and very icky implications, the feds are wringing their hands because the lack of hand washing can lead to the spread of food-borne diseases such as hepatitis A and E. coli.