Real Talk With Andrew Beaujon™: What is weighing on you most heavily this morning: The death of Claude Lévi-Strauss...or the impending release of DROID?

If you picked DROID, keep reading!

Lévi-Strauss said writing was the difference between the so-called civilized and the so-called savage; DROID says the difference between it and the iPhone is better coverage! ADVANTAGE: DROID!

Lévi-Strauss believed in "laws of mythical thinking"; DROID believes in making Garmin stock worthless! ADVANTAGE: TIE

Lévi-Strauss examined culture through food, but his theories were hostage to the fashion of academe; DROID is pretty great at everything except letting you end phone calls. ADVANTAGE: LEVI-STRAUSS.

POP QUIZ!
Two of these are headlines or subheads in today's print edition of the Washington Post, and one is something my grandmother used to say when conversation got incredibly boring.

1) "We happily let technology run the day, until it stops us in our tracks"
2) "Guardians of the roads or highway robbers?"
3) "Sure, you can get your money back, but there are no refunds on high expectations"

ANSWER: Trick question! They're all from today's Post!

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER
I am still wearing shorts when I ride to work. But much like I wonder where Northwest ends and Northeast begins when I look at North Capitol Street, I wonder where stubborness ends and being an asshole begins when Wearing Shorts in the Cold (WSITC). You need only walk through Adams Morgan at any time of day or night to feel the rage WSITC can inspire in even an even-tempered observer. Or fly! One of Beaujon's Immutable Laws of Travel (BILOT) is that wherever you are going, there's always someone in shorts on your plane. And yet here I am still bare-legging it to work! Please help me decide what is right. Also: I don't have proper bike pants. Problem?

IN OTHER NEWS: Does Yankee fan elation bother you more than Phillies fan sadness pleases you? DISCUSS. Sad day for Spaniards: Francisco Ayala dies...at 103! Eat more ham! EWWWW: you've got the cutest little baby face. Also: Washington Times readers on global warming!

I gotta bounce! Follow me on Twitter! Advantage: DROID!

Phillies announcer Harry Kalas collapsed early this afternoon in the Nationals Park press box and died at George Washington University Medical Center. The Inquirer writes:

"The cause of the death was not announced. Today's game against the Nationals will be played, but the team will not visit the White House tomorrow.

'We lost Harry today,' David Montgomery, the team president, said. 'We lost our voice.'

Mr. Kalas, who was found unconsious, missed most of spring training after undergoing undisclosed surgery in Feburary. That surgery was unrelated to the detached retina that sidelined him for part of last season.

Mr. Kalas, who turned 73 on March 26, has broadcast Phillies games since 1971. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2002 as the recipient of the Ford C. Frick Award. He is entering the final season of a 3-year contract that he signed in December 2006."

The Post reports:

"Montgomery said that Kalas was found unconscious in a broadcast booth, where he was preparing to work Monday's game against the Nationals. He was found by the Phillies director of broadcasting at about 12:30 p.m.

Montgomery called his condition serious at that time, and the Phillies closed the visitors' clubhouse to the media....

Kalas, who has broadcast Phillies games since 1971, was known for his distinctive "Outta here!" home run call. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame after receiving the Ford C. Frick Award in 2002."

There are tons of comments pouring into the Phillies website. The Philadelphia City Paper offers its own tribute. Pop Cesspool offers his respects. ESPN has text and video. Surely, today's home-opener will be a sad affair. Meanwhile, the Nats can't even sellout their home opener.