Gradually Sucking Less: Capitol Hill-based D.C. Crank Tank gives a nod to the CVS on 12th and E streets SE for its attempts to look less like a sterile chain and more like, you know, a welcoming community shop: The location has put up a nice-looking mural, possibly affiliated with the elementary school across the street. Also noted: "D.C. CVS stores are also notable for opening up to the street, and if not that, then at least supplying interesting historical photos of the neighborhoods they reside in.They still kind of suck to shop in. But at least they are easier on the eyes." (Speaking of CVS, we said the best reason to go, when you really need to restock on toothpaste, was the advent of self-checkouts.)

American Water: Southwest...The Little Quadrant That Could has all the details on this Saturday's Southwest Waterfront Fireworks Festival, a big event for the community that, this year, is being run in collaboration with the Hoffman-Madison Waterfront team, who will be redeveloping the neighborhood. There's a whole slew of events on Saturday, from Potomac River cruises to face-painting; this year's festival will be the largest yet, and is a dry run for next year's, which will coincide with the 100th anniversary of the District's receiving its famous cherry trees from Japan.

People on the Streets: The Brightwoodian has everything nice to say about Art Under Pressure, a recently-opened business on Georgia Avenue: "Youth- and education-focused; one of the proprietors is Cory Stowers, the artistic director of Words Beats & Life. ("I need to see that 3.0," Stowers was saying to a group of eager young graffiti writers when I was visiting.) Stowers aims to nurture young graffiti writers and help them to develop marketable skills through their artwork." There's more plans for the space, including a print shop, which will hold printmaking classes, and a tattoo studio. Art Under Pressure's grand opening will be April 22.

Where Art Thou, Pennsylvania Avenue? The members of the East of the River listserv have been playing with David Alpert's redistricting game (still fun, a few days later!) and discussing their decisions. Whether Ward 8 should cross the Anacostia River, or Pennsylvania Avenue, or both has dominated the conversation. Something's got to give—Wards 7 and 8 both need to grow in the coming redistricting process. Writes one member, "I will say this, up front, Ward 8 should NOT cross Pennsylvania Avenue. That is a border that makes sense. If Ward 8 needs to expand, move UP, NOT ACROSS Pennsylvania Ave." Another agrees, and adds, "I do agree with councilmember Barry that [Ward 8] should cross the Anacostia River."

A Street By Any Other Name: Renaming Pennsylvania Avenue as part of the fight for D.C. voting rights seemed like a good idea. So the D.C. Council has apparently decided to rename a few more, too. A plan under consideration at the Wilson Building would make Pennsylvania Avenue into D.C. Statehood Way, and also turn Constitution Avenue to Free D.C. Avenue and Independence Avenue into Let D.C. Vote Way. Councilmember Michael A. Brown is behind the idea; he's experienced with the trouble names can cause, so we trust him to see it through. We also trust the GOP-controlled House to try to block any legislation renaming any streets. +2

Insert Obligatory "Can You Hear Me Now?" Headline: Sure, your cellphone works in the Metro. But once you get above ground, a new study says, you're screwed. D.C. had the most problems per 100 calls in a survey by J.D. Power and Associates, which we assume didn't survey cellphone users because, well, you know. Cincinnati and Pittsburgh did the best. -2

You're Happy And You Know It: Those dropped calls aren't causing too many hurt feelings, apparently—the latest Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index ranks D.C. the happiest metropolitan area in the country. Criteria used to determine the rankings: how many people smoke and how often residents go to the dentist. Which makes the whole thing seem a little odd. But hey, who are we to complain? We're happy! Austin, San Jose, Seattle, and San Francisco came in as slightly less happy. +1

Giant Elephants On Parade: Yesterday's parade of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus elephants through downtown didn't make some people happy—notably People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (to say nothing of the pachyderms, whose treatment by circus handlers is the subject of some debate). PETA will set up an inflatable elephant and graphic displays of abuse outside the Verizon Center to protest the circus' stay. We say: Let the elephants start ferrying D.C. government officials around town. For less than $2,000 a month, we could probably treat them pretty well. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 59 Today's score: +2 Today's Needle rating: 61

Figuring out what to rename the street, though, may turn out to be a little harder.

At a meeting in the Wilson Building Thursday night, Councilmember Michael A. Brown quickly moved past the ringing rhetoric about the symbolism of the stunt and got down to business.

"As you can imagine, our e-mail has been flooded with both inappropriate and appropriate suggestions,” he said.

Some of those “appropriate suggestions” presented at the Wilson Building last night include:

• Give D.C. Statehood Avenue
• Statehood for D.C. Avenue
• D.C. for Statehood Avenue
• D.C. Demands Statehood Avenue
• D.C. Statehood Now Avenue
• D.C. Demands Full Democracy Avenue
• Give D.C. Full Democracy Avenue

“These are just examples,” Brown added. “No one is wedded to any of these.”

Unfortunately, Brown didn't disclose any of the inappropriate suggestions.

The council is also considering a new message to accompany the “Welcome to Washington” signs along the D.C.-Maryland line. Suggestions included:

• Welcome to Washington: Unrepresented in Congress for over 200 years
• Welcome to Washington: Denied full democracy for over 200 years and counting
• Welcome to Washington: Where over 600,000 residents are denied full democracy each day
• Welcome to Washington: Where over 600,000 residents are tasked with all the responsibilities of a state but afforded few of the rights
• Welcome to Washington: Enjoy your stay and join our fight for Statehood
• Welcome to Washington: Ask your Representative to give DC a vote
• Welcome to Washington: Tell Congress DC residents deserve Statehood

For their part, members of DC Statehood—Yes We Can! said at the session they oppose any signage that doesn’t include the word “statehood.”

“We don’t need to say anything about voting rights,” said Elinor Hart. “Statehood includes voting rights.”

Ann Loikow, another group member, said she agreed calls for just “voting rights” have no place on these signs.

“We need to remove the references for voting rights... and talk about statehood,” she said. “We need a clear united voice saying we are for statehood.”

The group suggested renaming Pennsylvania Avenue “D.C. 51st Way.” They also called for South Capitol Street to be renamed “D.C. Statehood Now Boulevard,” and for the Washington gateway sign to carry the phrase “Welcome to the Land of the 51st State!”

Paul Strauss, the District's shadow senator, said any change must be easily understandable for visitors who don't already know the city's plight. He recalled often meeting tourists who believe D.C. license plates reading “Taxation Without Representation” are merely a patriotic reference to America’s independence.

“Street sign names can seem trivial,” he said. “But this is an important opportunity to get our message across.”

“Never underestimate the power of a good gateway sign,” Strauss added, noting Brooklyn’s welcome sign got prominent placement on the opening credits of the 1970s sitcom Welcome Back, Kotter.

Strauss also called for the District to rename other streets, as part of a continual campaign.

“Let’s think about renaming street names more strategically,” he said. For example, if a "certain Utah congressman” continues speaking out against D.C. voting rights, part of Utah Avenue should be renamed.

That type of move—cartography as vengeance—isn’t unprecedented. The Soviet Union’s embassy used to be located on a stretch of 16th Street called Andre Sakharov Place.

However, for Shadow Representative Mike Panetta, just renaming a street section isn’t enough.

“What’s missing here is the hook,” he said. “We need to find a way here to maintain sustained interest.”

Panetta suggested renaming most of Pennsylvania Avenue the “Avenue of Statehood” or “51st State Way.” It would be lined with plaques commemorating each state added to the union, along with its year of entrance.

The plaques would start with Delaware, the first state, and end with one reading “New Columbia—Yet to Be Admitted.” A flagpole next to the plaque would fly an American flag with 51 stars.

“I have long been a proponent of using the city’s names and street signs as a tool,” Panetta said. “This is not the time to be timid, but to say... clearly what we want.”

Brown said the council will keep the public record open on this issue for the next two weeks. All residents can submit their own ideas for both renaming Pennsylvania Avenue and adding a slogan to the “Welcome to Washington” sign.

Just don't count on getting immediate results, no matter what slogans win.

They've tried civil disobedience. They've tried legislative maneuvering. Now D.C.'s frustrated statehood activists are threatening to employ a new tactic: Cartographic sabotage.

D.C. Council member Michael Brown is holding a meeting this evening at the Wilson Building to ponder renaming the stretch of Pennsylvania Avenue NW in front of the city government's headquarters. The idea is to pick a name that shames the powers that be by reminding visitors of the capital city's marooned political status.

This isn't the first time a government has used its thoroughfare-naming powers to tweak a rival. In the Indian city of Kolkata—long ruled by a Communist party—the road outside the American consulate had its name changed from from Harrington Street to Ho Chi Minh Sarani during the Vietnam war. Right here in D.C., Soviet diplomats during the Cold War suddenly found that their stretch of 16th Street NW had become Andrei Sakharov Place.

Vietnam won and the Soviets lost, right? Alas, Brown's renaming ambitions have at least one problem: Other than Marion Barry—whose name would presumably not be helpful in winning out-of-towners to the statehood cause—the District doesn't boast many household names among its political stalwarts. It's a pretty good bet Brown et al won't want to honor the local government veteran with the highest national Q ratings by turning the avenue into Michelle Rhee Boulevard.

Which means visitors will be puzzling over, say, Alexander Shepherd Place, Hilda Mason Trail, or Ron Brown Parkway—names that do little to insert Washington's non-democratic status into the national conversation. Instead, they'll smack of yet another lame statehood stunt.

Or worse: Out-of-town types regularly gripe about how frequently they get lost in D.C. after finding that a street's name has changed. We locals laugh about the rubes' geographic cluelessness. But when they panic after suddenly going from Pennsylvania Avenue to Mark Plotkin Boulevard, where do you think they're going to turn for help? That's right: To Congress.

Photo by Mr. T in D.C. via Flickr/Creative Commons

Caution: Do Not Just Stand Here

This was bound to happen, and it'll for sure happen again: A bicyclist crashed into a pedestrian crossing Pennsylvania Avenue NW and its controversial new Fenty administration-backed bike lanes. As one Wash Cycle reader reported:

A pedestrian was crossing PA Ave, as he was [the reader] SY was cycling west on PA Ave. SY had a green light. He rang his bell, and he thought the pedestrian saw him. It looked like the pedestrian was going to stop. But he didn't see SY or stop walking. So SY slammed on his breaks and flew over the handle bars to avoid hitting the guy. The pedestrian then claimed SY ran the red light.

When the bike lanes were restriped to fit within the original median—they initially were designed to occupy additional car traffic lanes—that created a smaller amount of space for pedestrians to use as a mid-avenue refuge. And that space is attractive to tourists as a spot to stand around in. Greater Greater Washington took note in July:

But stationary pedestrians aren't the only hazard. Because of its grand vistas and relatively calm traffic, the median of the avenue is a popular place to stop to view monuments and for tour guides to give a little speech.

So the bike lanes are a work in progress. Which means, if you're a tourist, keep an eye out for people speeding at you on metal contraptions while you stop to ponder the sights. And look both ways!

Photo by Richard Drdul via Flickr under Creative Commons

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT—Famous Channel 4 sportscaster George Michael dies at 70. Also, more on the snowball fight, as City Desk reports on an effort by D.C. police to make "conversation" on this troubling incident melt away like the snow that made it possible in the first place.

Morning all. Hope all you LLDers had a good holiday weekend. And if you're not checking out this week, have faith: LLD is on the case, though under a different by-line (see above).

LLD, even under a guest columnist, can never resist the opportunity to self-indulge, and this time it has plenty of pretext. In the Dec. 27 edition of themail, Dorothy Brizill and Gary Imhoff do a lot of grousing about local news coverage, with an emphasis on the alleged downgrading of the Washington Post's coverage of all things D.C. And in Imhoff's little riff on the matter, he tips his hat a bit to the toils of LLD:

Online news coverage has taken some halting steps. For the past several months The Washington City Paper’s Loose Lips, Mike DeBonis, has written an opinionated news aggregation column every weekday: Loose Lips Daily, at http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/citydesk. It’s useful — and could use competition.

So, Mr. Imhoff, with that whole "could use competition" thing, just what are you getting at? That LLD could possibly be any better than it now is? That you have enough time to read yet another 4,000-word news roundup each and every weekday?

After the jump: More Imhoff-Brizill; Barras on the end of the year; Mathews slams Gray and Cheh; more!

Well, we at LLD love competition. And that's where you come in, Mr. Imhoff. How 'bout providing that competition yourself!

As for superactivist Brizill, here's what she has to say about local news:

There was a time when the Washington Post hit the floor of our front porch early in the morning and I would arouse myself, stumble downstairs, and read the newspaper cover to cover before Gary even woke up. Now, there are many times when the paper stays around the house for days, unopened and unread, and finally opened only to retrieve the grocery ads. Too often, worthy news is edged out by fluff. For three successive days, beginning December 21, the front page of the Style section was dominated by long stories and large photographs of Michaele and Tariq Saladi, the White House gate crashers. On December 11, the front page of the first section had a long story and big photo about a vice president of the Washington Nationals, Gregory McCarthy, who was training to run the Antarctic Marathon to complete his quest to run a marathon on each continent, worth being a human interest story inside the Sports section.

A reply to Brizill on behalf of LLD:

1) It's Michaele and Tareq Salahi, not whatever butchered spelling you offered. If you want to criticize media outlets, best to get your facts straight first.

2) The Salahi story wasn't fluff; it was a huge news scoop, as evidenced by the thousands of outlets that picked it up.

3) The McCarthy story was a fine feature. If you don't think that good features are worth paying for, then move just about anywhere else in the country, save L.A., New York, and Chicago. Pick up the paper that's sold in your new hometown. All of a sudden, you'll appreciate that McCarthy feature.

4) Brizill asks this question in her rant against the Post: “What has happened to the high quality of investigative reporting the newspaper had been known for?”

Hmmm, did she miss this series on the fate of D.C. AIDS programs east of the river? Perhaps those stories ran when the paper sat around Brizill's house "unopened and unread."

Tis the season for roundups, and LLD today will feature that of Examiner columnist Jonetta Rose Barras. In this particular iteration, Barras takes the stream-of-consciousness approach to wrapping up the year. She just goes off, like so:

Sarah Palin may have gone rogue. District elected officials went insane. Their madness consumed the government and vexed residents, causing many to fret about the city's future.

Huh? Let's try some more:

Ward 3 D.C. Councilwoman Mary Cheh accused Mayor Adrian M. Fenty's administration of being lawless. The legislature wasn't exactly law-abiding. It's surprising no one called back former Metropolitan Police Department Chief Charles Ramsey to throw a dragnet around the John A. Wilson Building and hogtie its occupants. No one was innocent.

Officials violated the intent and spirit of local laws. The mayor circumvented procurement and privatization regulations. Ward 8 Councilman Marion Barry abused loopholes in contracting rules; Chairman Vincent C. Gray claimed ignorance of campaign finance laws.

When the two branches weren't trashing rules, they were savaging each other. On multiple occasions the council accused Fenty of lying, contract steering, mismanagement, ageism and racism. In a take-one-to-know-one move, the executive asserted that the council's rejection of Department of Parks and Recreation nominee Ximena Hartsock was sexist and racist.

OK, now it's all starting to make sense. But then, Barras goes back to her roots. Remember, she formerly worked as a staffer at the Washington Times. And back in those days, the times used things called "scare quotes" and other copy-editing oddities to show their feelings on certain issues of the day. One of their tics was refusing to use the word "gay," opting instead for "homosexual." Now here's Barras in her roundup: "homosexuals were given the opportunity to marry each other."

Washington Post educolumnist Jay Mathews starts his latest bit of opinionmongering with a marvelous slam on a couple of D.C. councilmembers. Here goes: "Sometimes it is the smartest, most concerned policymakers who do the most harm to schools. My favorite recent example is the Healthy Schools Act, a bill introduced two weeks ago by D.C. Council member Mary M. Cheh and Council Chairman Vincent C. Gray."

So just what is Mathews' gripe with the councilmembers? Well, they're mandating a huge boost in the number of hours that children spend each week in phys-ed classes. Though that may sound fine on the surface, says Mathews, there's only so much time in a day, and D.C. schools need all the time they can get to make their students competent in reading and writing and math.

WaPo's Paul Schwartzman profiles the declining fortunes of D.C. developers, complete with a lede about a high-flying developer hit hard by the housing and credit crises and who's soon off to Buenos Aires for some reflection. Maverick developer Jim Abdo sums up the status quo:

"Where we might have gone out to the Capital Grille to eat steaks, we now meet in a conference room and drink ice water. The mood is a mood of humility and contriteness and self-reflection. There were a lot of people who were intoxicated by the times and the easy access to capital. A lot of them are gone."

PASSED AWAY— Percy Sutton, prominent civil rights lawyer and media entrepreneur.

MIGHT AS WELL INCLUDE A NOTE ON THE WEATHER SINCE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE GOING ON—We're looking at a wet end of the year, with snow or rain or ice likely sometime from Wednesday through New Year's Day.

WaPo edit board issues a plea to lawyers around the region to offer services to parts of the District hardest-hit by unemployment. "Washington has long been known as the pro bono capital of the country, a place where lawyers generously volunteer to help all manner of clients who cannot afford counsel. Area lawyers and law firms are hurting, too, but D.C. area firms and lawyers — among the wealthiest in the country — need to dig deeper to fulfill their professional obligation to provide legal help to those who cannot afford it."

ABSOLUTELY—nothing going at at D.C. Wire.

AP, via Examiner, reports on D.C. effort to crack down on buyer of tax liens. Also AP via Examiner, D.C. Councilmember Phil Mendelson is pushing a bill to change PCP possession from a misdemeanor to a felony.

AP, via WTOP, reports that free health clinic may hit D.C. in 2010. Story first appeared in WaPo.

WAMU's Rebecca Blatt reports on the beginning of an overhaul of Pennsylvania Avenue under the aegis of the Great Streets Project. Here's the money graphs:

The project is supposed to make Pennsylvania Avenue more accessible to pedestrians. One of the lanes will become a landscaped median.

Drivers should expect some temporary lane closures between 9:30 am and 3:00 pm in the first five months of construction. The second phase of the project will include some more long-term lane closures. That is expected to begin in May.

NC8 reports that a pedestrian was killed near 16th Street and Park Road NW early today. "Few details were immediately available." WUSA.

NBC4 reports on an incident in which D.C. police shot and killed a knife-wielding suspect. WUSA.

1300 Block of Pennsylvania Ave. NW, December 10

1300 Block of Pennsylvania Ave. NW, December 10

"As Is, With Improvements": The existing configuration would be kept as it is now – with Pennsylvania Avenue bisecting two separate spaces – but landscape improvements would be made in the name of greening up the area.

The "Triptych": A traffic oval would be constructed in the center of the plaza, effectively splitting the space into three parks – one in the oval's middle and two on each side of Pennsylvania.

The "Central Park":  Pennsylvania Avenue would be diverted all the way around a rectangular space. Think the Hill's Lincoln Park.

Resident concerns, raised at a community meeting in July, run the gamut. The Eastern Market Metro Community Association doesn't want Pennsylvania Avenue diverted, saying it will bring cars and noise closer to residents' front steps. One commenter fretted the triptych plan would add travel time to emergency vehicles. Another said leaving things alone would be just fine.

Check out the various landscape plans and traffic patterns here.

Next Step: A final report, possibly this month, on the "preferred alternative." But the project is years away from breaking ground, if it ever does. It needs governmental go-aheads and, more important, funding. "It's an important long-term project," says Don Denton, a Capitol Hill Realtor who sits on the plaza redesign task force, "if we can get it done."

The District Department of Transportation (DDOT) is advising motorists that the 2600 block of Pennsylvania Avenue, NW is closed to eastbound traffic because of a sinkhole. A square hole, approximately 4 feet by 4 feet, and 5 feet deep, has developed in the roadway near the bridge over Rock Creek (see attached photo).

DDOT crews are on the scene to make repairs. They are also working with the Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) to try and reopen a lane for eastbound traffic, but delays are likely and motorists are advised to take alternate routes if possible

Any readers got pics?

UPDATE, 5:35 P.M.: WUSA-TV has a photo.