8:01 p.m. Good evening everyone! The ceremony doesn't start for another half-hour, so take this time to settle in, practice your snark, and load up on snacks and DayQuil. (Whoops, maybe only I need that last one. But hey, could make parts of the telecast more interesting.)

8:20 p.m. Starting the montages early with an ode to...accountants?

8:25 p.m. "The lack of concern for Jerry Lewis is horrifying." Funny, Red Carpet Guy. But I'd probably save Judd Apatow, too.

8:30 p.m. Ack! Technical difficulties! DVR keeps trying to make me watch Amazing Race!

Read More "No Dead Blogging Here! Live: The Academy Awards" »

I'm always excited about the Academy Awards -- yeah, there are still a few of us left out there -- but I'm guessing there won't be a whole lot of thrilling and/or shocking moments this year. (Most any upset would go thusly: Oooh, the frontrunner didn't win! Which means...someone or -thing completely undeserving did.)

But for the record, here are my predictions anyway. And tune in at 8:30 when, give or take some DVR-shifting, I'll be live-blogging the entire ceremony. Or at least for as long as my cold medicine holds out.

BEST PICTURE
WALL*E. Not nominated? The Dark Knight. Sigh! How about The Wrestler? OK, I'll stop. It's gonna be Slumdog Millionaire, though between the five that were chosen I loved Milk the most.

Read More "Oscar Picks (No Surprises Here)" »

Let's see, where did I leave off nearly 12 hours ago?

Actually, I don't have a whole lot more to say:

8) I'm flabbergasted that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button received 13 (!) nominations, while the superior and far more engaging Gran Torino got nothing.

9) I think Milk and Slumdog Millionaire are the only films that belong in the Best Picture category.

10) I love me some Amy Adams, but she could have nailed her minor Doubt performance while drunk on the blood of Christ.

So it looks like the Feb. 22 telecast will be another long night of predictable winners and people who shouldn't be there.

Speaking of which, I don't know how I missed this announcement, but: Hugh Jackman as host? Really?

I'm not saying we need to go back to the days of Billy Crystal -- or, shudder, Whoopi Goldberg -- but the Oscars require navigation by someone who can quickly take the wind out of its sails. (Hey, my metaphors match.) Pretty dresses -- and faces, nothing against you, Hugh -- aren't quite enough.

But don't think I'll miss one second of it anyway.

Actually, you should totally buy it. I think owning movies is stupid (maybe it's because there's forever a laundry list of stuff I still want to see, but probably because I'm cheap), but even I'd get this one if the nice Warner Bros. peeps hadn't already sent over a for-your-consideration copy. I could watch the Joker scenes all day.

But I digress: You'll have another chance to see The Dark Knight in all its full-screened, Best Picture-worthy glory (yeah I said it) when it's rereleased in theaters both short and IMAX on Jan. 23.

The significance of the date? Oscar noms will be announced Jan. 22, so apparently Warner Bros. is feeling pretty confident. (Normally nominations are announced on a Tuesday, but apparently there's some other big thing going on Jan. 20.)

In related Bat news, Blockbuster announced results of a survey asking fans which stars they'd like to see in the franchise's third installment. The top two? Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie -- which proves that Joe the Moviegoer should never be asked for his input, ever.

Depp could possibly shed his recent Pirates of the Caribbean megastardom and bring some of his old-school sinister brilliance to the film. But Jolie, talented though she may be, is just too People Magazine to not be a distraction and undermine the approach director Christopher Nolan has had such great success with in Batman Begins and Dark Knight: Using hugely gifted but slightly under-the-radar actors to bring real heft to his more serious reframing of the comic.

I loved Tim Burton's Batman and certainly don't believe all comic-book adaptations should send fans running for a copy of the DSM-IV. But this series has been terrific thus far, so why change things?