Mosquitos Will Kill You: Itching and scratching is no longer the worst possible consequence of spending too much time outside without a proper dousing of DEET first. City health officials say they've identified West Nile virus in mosquitos in the District. There's only a real danger for about one in 150 people who gets bitten by an exposed bug, but don't let that stop you from panicking; the more mosquitos you kill in a rage, the better for all of us. -2

Faster, Higher, Stronger: When a joint bid by D.C. and Baltimore failed to win the U.S. Olympic Committee's endorsement nine years ago, it was probably a blessing—spending money on bike lanes has proven controversial enough here, so imagine building a whole velodrome. The games almost always wind up a financial drag on the host cities. Tomorrow, though, you can pretend the Olympics are coming here anyway, as the torch heading for the London games next year passes from the Canadian embassy (because Vancouver hosted last year's Winter Olympics) to the British embassy. No word on whether it's still possible to bribe officials to move the route closer to your preferred viewing location. +2

Postal Going: Dire predictions from the U.S. Postal Service are nothing new; the agency warns of doom (defined, usually, as an end to six-day mail delivery) every so often to justify rate increases, and Congress usually goes along. The latest prediction, though, might really get lawmakers' attention. USPS says it might close a post office in the Capitol, as well as about a dozen others in the District, as part of a plan to eliminate more than 3,500 locations. Quick! Send an angry email to let them know you object! -1

Commute Not Going As Planned: The District's Office of Planning has helped push to expand bike infrastructure for years, so it's no surprise that director Harriet Tregoning cycles daily from Columbia Heights to her office near the Southwest Waterfront. But Tregoning now may have an even better reason to advocate more bike-friendly streets: She was hit by a car Tuesday morning while riding to work. The car, which had Maryland tags, ran a red light on Massachusetts Avenue NW and sideswiped Tregoning. The planning director wasn't hurt, but her folding Brompton bike was badly damaged; the driver will pay to fix it. Tregoning warned the driver never to run red lights in D.C. again. -2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 42 Today's score: -3 Today's Needle rating: 39

This summer, Howard University's Dr. Edward Jones fielded a lot of phone calls and e-mails. People wanted to discuss why black people run faster than white people, and why white people swim better than black people. One particularly strange caller, he says, wanted to talk about this subject in connection with bellybuttons, as he had a theory that the majority of black people have outies, and that the protruding flesh helps them run faster.

"It was obviously quite a bit of attention," says Jones.

The attention came after Jones published a paper with fellow academic Adrian Bejan, a teacher of mechanical engineering at Duke University. The paper, called "The Evolution of Speed in Athletics: Why the Fastest Runners are Black and Swimmers are White," inspired numerous articles and an NPR story.

It seeks to explain why there's such a high concentration of successful Olympic sprinters of West African descent, and Olympic swimmers of European descent. The answer, in the paper's opinion, is due to body differences that allow the two groups to excel in their respective categories. "Body differences [are] related to structural density," says Jones.  Many black runners, for instance, have a higher center of balance.

The hypothesis is both interesting and problematic. Theories that suggest racial determinism have almost always been a way to legitimize racist beliefs; it doesn't take much to imagine Jones' paper being used to justify skull measurements. But Jones says there are nuances to his work that put it in a completely different category than bigoted pseudo-science. For one thing, he offers that it's possible that his paper isn't actually, well, true: "It presents a logical explanation. But there could be alternative explanations."

Jones also makes clear that the taxonomy of race is inherently flawed. Not all black people, or even all Africans, for that matter, have the build to be excellent sprinters. The body type he and his colleague believe may provide an advantage for short distance running is found in West Africa, specifically. "The risk  in over-interpreting the results is that there are so many factors," he says. Which could lead to inaccurate stereotyping. Jones himself, who is African American, is an excellent swimmer and former lifeguard.

But nuanced or not, some are bound to have problems with his assertions. And Jones would seem to be in a position to learn firsthand what some of those problems are. He's a relatively new teacher on a historically black campus that was once considered an epicenter of the black power movement. Decades ago, the election of a homecoming queen with an Afro inspired Howard students to break into the spontaneous chant: "Ungawa, Black Power," and there have been plenty of rallies, sit-ins and building take-overs since then.

Jones isn't worried, however, so far his colleagues have done nothing but congratulate him for writing something noteworthy. He knows he isn't out of the woods yet, though. Once the students hear about the paper, "I anticipate there will be some future discussion."

*Photo courtesy of Edward Jones

To answer my hopes, dreams, and prayers
This Hilton is clearing out chairs
A rink in the room
So folks, grab a broom
Come curl away all of your cares

Happy Hump-Day! I can see you slumping over and sleeping at your desk, so I’ve helpfully ended each news-blip with a BOOM, in honor of the Black Eyed Peas, Brett from FOTC, and the DC Metro transit system. Stay awake! Boom!

For those metro riders who have finally managed to assuage their fears of track-jumpers and crashed cars—stop reading. Prince of Petworth reports that there was more trouble on the red line yesterday. One witness said his car had “a series of explosions, with little fire and sparks everywhere.” Another mentioned a “loud BOOM!” and a decent cloud of smoke at Metro Center. And before that fiasco, the car reportedly stopped to let a sick passenger off the train. Coincidence? Metro says the train “lost one of its collector shoes”. My theory is that there was an X-Men/Heroes/Men in Black character on the train who beat up an invisible bad-guy, and than erased everyone’s memory. Draw your own conclusions. Boom!

Get ready for the same-sex marriage debate to take the District by storm—D.C. Council member David Catania introduced the bill on Tuesday. Somewhat diplomatically, the bill doesn’t require religious organizations to actually perform the marriages.  There will be a public hearing in October, and a preliminarily vote in December. Although same-sex marriages valid in other states have been recognized here since July, it’s hard to predict which way the wind will blow. Regardless, everyone is going to get drenched. Boom!

According to POLITICO, President Barack Obama has reaffirmed that the White House Olympic office will remain open, even though the US isn’t forecasted to host the Olympics until 2020—at the earliest. Okay, I know it probably isn’t logical, but just remembering President Obama skulk out of Copenhagen makes me hear small violins playing. It’s small consolation. Thoughts? Boom!

Winter is creeping up on fall–but don't panic. There's still plenty of time to dive into some cider-drinking, pumpkin-picking, plaid scarf fun: the Maryland Renaissance Fair is going on until Oct. 25, the Maryland Celtic Festival is coming, or you could even go metro-accessible camping like these sprightly college kids. Boom!

And finally, even Enya couldn’t calm down spa-goers in Bethesda when an 82-year-old woman plowed into a salon. According to WUSA, emergency responders believe the woman mixed up the accelerator and the brake. Boom—okay, not appropriate. Luckily, no one was seriously injured.

Don’t you feel awake now? Washington City Paper: Stronger than your morning coffee.

Photo by KM Photography, Creative Commons License

Saturday's 3000-meter steeplechase qualifier was enlivened by the presence of Anthony Famiglietti, a 30-year-old 29-year-old runner from New York who trains in Tennessee. Famiglietti, who looks like he might have made you an Americano, whizzed past you on a fixie, or perhaps sold you weed at some point, studied philosophy, paints, sculpts, and has produced a 12-song CD of ambient music, according to the announcers. He has a Web site that loads slightly quicker than it takes to run a steeplechase, and on it you can buy his DVD, Run Like Hell.

There was a great PIP interview with Famiglietti during the race. I didn't take notes, but in it he talked about how he didn't share the American ideal of success and how he instead tried to embrace pain daily. In the wall-to-wall Phelpsphest, it was about time someone slipped a turd in the punchbowl. "Famiglietti with an...unusual perspective there," one of the commentators coughed out. (I looked for video but no dice; I did find this one, where Famiglietti talks about passion and runs through fire.)

"Fam" was out in front for most of Saturday's race but finished third in the end. Today, in the finals, he finished 13th. Afterward I like to imagine he punched the stadium wall, shouted something about Gregor Samsa, and wandered out into the Beijing night, and a tear-stained sophomore art major chased after him, and now they're planning on moving to Portland.

* Burning question! Why employ a "guest blogger"? Get your own blog! It's easy! Still, yesterday, Prince of Petworth debuted "The Restaurant," a new series by a guest-blogger called Julian: a writer, waiter, and master of the simile. Writes "Julian": "The staff, from what I noticed up front, was attractive and friendly, yet tightly knit–like a potato sack I desperately wanted to cut into with my personality and strong work ethic." Never have I more appreciated the subtle artistry of the "Door of the Day."

* Junior League harmonica player (and wheat-paster) Martin Thomas was ejected from China for protesting for a free Tibet during the Olympic ceremonies, BYT reports.

* Speaking of the Olympics: Despite my policy to ignore them at all costs, gymnastics events are better now, Slate says.

* Meanwhile, says WaPo, ping-pong gets the shaft!

* Local darlings U.S. Royalty have an inaugural video to go along with their inaugural EP.

* Tonight: If you don't wear shorts, they'll cut your pants off. Is that a promise?

Photo by S.³

If the decision was not, in fact, about the girls' "cuteness" but rather about the integrity of the "performance," it means that China is making history: China has lifted the oft-criticized art of lip-syncing to Olympic proportions. Could an official Olympic team be far behind? Here, my recommendations for the 2012 Olympic Lip-Syncing dream team. See you in London!

Competitor: Milli Vanilli (duh).
Home Country: Germany
Qualification: Cool under pressure. From Wikipedia: "In 1990, during a live performance recorded by MTV at the Lake Compounce theme park in Bristol, Connecticut, the recording of the song "Girl You Know It's True" jammed and began to skip, repeating the partial line "Girl, you know it's-" over and over. According to the premiere episode of VH1's Behind the Music which profiled Milli Vanilli, fans attending the concert didn't seem to notice or even care and the concert continued as if nothing unusual had happened."

Competitor: Mr. Ed
Home Country: U.S.A.
Qualifications: That horse is talking!!

Competitor: Gary Brolsma, aka "The Numa Numa Guy"
Home Country:New Jersey
Qualifications: Versatility. Since releasing the original "Numa Numa" video, Brolsma has made several "remixes" of the video, including inserted photographs of feta cheese and a LEGO Bob Ross, as well as a cameo by "the Star Wars kid."

Competitor: Ashlee Simpson
Home Country: U.S.A.
Qualifications: None.

Competitor: The Back Dorm Boys
Home Country: China
Qualifications: Cuteness