*Checked out NBC Washington's new "Moods"/Washington Is... section? I hadn't! (Sorry, vacay.) Definitely interactive. Also, leads to hilarious/tacky catchphrases at the top of the homepage (see above). My problem with this is the same problem I have with "viewers' choice awards" on reality TV shows. (Full disclosure: don't watch many reality TV shows.) The whole "America has spoken" thing smacks of a.) Regis Philbin and b.) hypergeneralization. Still, Washington has spoken...and NBC's new site, moodswings and all? Pretty baller! Or maybe not.

*WUSA-9 reports that four teenagers are being charged by Prince William County police for white supremacist-style vandalism:

First Sgt. Kim Chinn says police received a call at about 7:30 a.m. Tuesday that some sod had been pulled from a pallet and used to write "White Power," "KKK" and form a swastika at Sinclair Elementary School. She says the incident may have occurred overnight.

*BREAD & BUTTER WaTimes SCOOP: Jennifer Harper upbraids the Obama admininstration for cheapening the annual remembrance of 9/11. Biggest faux pas? Evites for families of those killed at the Pentagon.

*INSPIRATIONAL REUTERS QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "The amount of solar energy falling upon the earth's desert regions during 6 hours of a typical day equals the total amount of energy from all sources consumed by the entire population of the globe in a year's time."

*JUST IN TIME FOR VALENTINE'S DAY, SORT OF: Studies show that candlelit dinners are bad for the environment!

*AWKWARD TOWN HALL/HEALTHCARE VIDEO DU JOUR:

This guy isn't even the craziest asshole attending these health-care town halls.

• While President Clinton's trip was described as a private humanitarian mission before he left for Pyongyang, the Washington Post is reporting that both Clintons played an integral role in planning the trip.  The State Department was reportedly negotiating with the North Koreans for weeks and Bill only left the U.S. after repeated assurances that Laura Ling and Euna Lee would be released.  Regardless, it's good news for embedded journalists.

• In worse news for journalists, MSNBC is now admitting that they erred by not revealing that former Newsweek reporter Richard Wolffe is now working as a strategist for the public affairs firm Public Strategies, Inc. Since his book Renegade, detailing the rise of Barack Obama's presidential campaign, hit the best-seller lists, MSNBC has been showing off Wolffe like a prize, having him fill in for Keith Olbermann on Countdown as recently as last Friday. However, his close ties to the Obama administration (like those private meetings with David Axelrod) and his work at Public Strategies have resulted in major conflicts of interest.  Luckily, he's already got his next Obama book all lined up.
• DC Public Schools have announced that they will extend their STD testing program to all students in the upcoming school year.  Officials hope that by expanding their pilot program, they will be able to diagnose and treat students with STDs, especially since approximately half the cases of chlamydia and gonorrhea in the city are among adolescents.

• An extension of the Cash for Clunkers program is looking more and more definite. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid have confirmed that the second round of funding will pass through the Senate before it recesses on Friday. The $2 billion extension is estimated to last through Labor Day.

• And finally, a new ad for the Child Nutrition Act has dragged Malia and Sasha Obama back into the spotlight. The new poster campaign, sponsored by the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, shows eight-year-old Jasmine Messiah asking "President Obama's daughters get healthy school lunches. Why don't I?" Messiah has also written an open letter to the first daughters asking for their support in reforming public school lunches.  Here's an answer to your question, young Jasmine - $30,000 a year in tuition at Sidwell will buy a lot of healthy vegetables. Public schools are struggling to keep their textbooks up to date. Be happy you've got lunch.

And that's the news.  Happy Hump Day!

First, this just came in from one of the Metropolitan Police Department’s Yahoo groups: Beware of the telephone shysters posing as sales reps for the FBI. No, silly! Not the real Federal Bureau of Investigation. This one's an alleged alarm company peddling “free” security systems. The pitch starts off saying "you live in a high crime statistics area" and offers a free home alarm system in exchange for letting the company put an FBI sign on your lawn. It’s the latest twist in alarm system scams.

AFTER THE JUMP: More on D.C. confidence schemes and Obama's plans to take down abusive consumer lenders.

For weeks, reports of shady looking traveling salesmen have been burning up neighborhood listservs.  More than a few residents reported unnerving visits from alleged alarm company reps going door to door. These guys demand to be let inside homes to see if the systems needed upgrading. Needless to say not too many street-smart District residents have fallen for this one (um, or perhaps we've only heard from the folks who told the grifters to clear off.)

Well, anyway, those ruses are in no way unique. It turns out the country is awash confidence schemes. The Federal Trade Commission says thousands of people have been swindled out of millions of dollars since the economic downturn began. 

Today, the agency announced a crackdown on scammers who have hoodwinked consumers with get-rich-quick plans, imaginary government grants, and fraudulent debt-reduction opportunities, among other things.

The enforcement crackdown involves dozens of cases brought by the FTC, the Department of Justice and law enforcers here in the District and at least 13 states. At today’s press conference, officials even trotted out “a Washington, D.C. job seeker who was conned by a company that made false promises of maintenance and janitorial work.”

I missed the webcast, so I have no more details on our very own District victim. But it sounds like he or she may have been duped by Wagner Ramos Borges, one of several alleged criminal masterminds picked up in the nationwide sweep, officially dubbed: “Operation Short Change.”

Ramos Borges allegedly advertised janitorial jobs in area newspapers and online sites. But once applicants responded, he would trick them into paying $98 apiece for bogus “certified registration number” cards. Those cards were supposed to land them jobs with one of the front companies he operated. But the jobs didn’t exist, officials say.

…

As for the perfectly legal scams run by banks, the Obama Administration is taking them on too. The Department of the Treasury forwarded a proposal to Congress yesterday that would establish a new agency to oversee home mortgages and other consumer lending. Click here for the press release discussing the proposed Consumer Financial Protection Agency. The administration says the new outfit would shield consumers from lending abuses like those that led to the financial sector’s current travails.

According to today’s Washington Post, the banking industry is in revolt over the plan, saying it would allow the government to meddle too much into its business; but lawmakers may have a hard time voting against it without looking like corporate sellouts.

Drug recalls, crime bills, and a double dose of foreign policy after the jump.

• The FDA issued a press release advising citizens to stop using certain Zicam products.  Why?  Because this supposed cure for the common cold can cause the loss of one's ability to smell.  The press release also reminds concerned consumers that "the loss of sense of smell can adversely affect a person’s quality of life, and can limit the ability to detect the smell of gas or smoke or other signs of danger in the environment."  So stop using Zicam or else you might go smell-blind and die in a fire.

It's been established that wherever Obama goes, the tour buses and locals will follow, temporarily ruining eating for everyone who doesn't like to wait in long lines for half smokes or gourmet burgers. In the future, Mr. President can you not stop by the following places:

*Pete's

*The Mount Pleasant 7-11

*Old City

*The Whole Foods (Dupont Circle Logan Circle) sandwich counter.

*Soul Veg

*The CVS at Irving and 14th.

*The Columbia Heights Target on Saturday afternoons.

That means Mitchell's now ex-employer was Dan Snyder.

The same guy has fired the same guy before.

In 2000, Snyder's first offseason of running the Redskins, Mitchell, the team's all-time punt return and kickoff return leader, was let go.

In Thom Loverro's 2007 book, Hail Victory: An Oral History of the Washington Redskins, Mitchell insinuated he got run out of town because he was disliked by Snyder's favorite Redskin, Darrell Green.

That's sorta interesting again, because the owner's pet these days, Clinton Portis, got in a big to-do over the airwaves with Mitchell last year over things the host said about his attitude and play.

Portis and Snyder were recently spotted dining together at N9NE Steakhouse in Vegas.

Vegas!

And now Snyder banishes Mitchell again!

Hmmm.

***

Speaking of the underworld: Pittsburgh Penguins winger Miroslav Satan assisted on Games 4's winning goal versus the Capitals on Friday, and helped out on Pitt's first score a day later.

I only bring this up so I can also relate some Awesome Trivia about Satan: His player number in Yahoo sports is... 666!

You can look it up!

Sure, the guy's been around the NHL for 13 years and every beelzebubby joke's been made. (Even the copy editors of the Washington Times, a sectarian paper if there ever was, couldn't resist while headlining this morning's wire story about the Caps/Pens series.)

But hell if the name's not still funny!

And check out his official photo! Tell me Satan's not central casting for Satan!

So when I was reading the wire stories about Friday's game and saw that "Satan feathered the puck through Erskine's legs," of course I giggled. (Hilarious as "Satan" surely is in print, he's "Shuh-tan" on radio and TV. Not so funny.)

"Satan"'s one of those names you can't not giggle at if you went to seventh grade. Like J.J. Putz of the Mets, or D'Cody Fagg of the Florida State Seminoles, or Jimmy Douchebag of the Oklahoma City Thunder. (OK, there is no Jimmy Douchebag on OK City. But if there were, I could at least name one player on that team.)

Now back to Fagg: It seemed to me that when he was at FSU no announcer ever called him just "Fagg." Instead of, say, using Cosell's famousest verbiage, "Watch that little Fagg run!" the play-by-play was always something like "Catch by D'Cody Fagg!" or "Dropped by D'Cody Fagg!" or "Touchdown, Florida State!"

The guy had a fine college career, providing me and every other former seventh-grader with all sorts of giggles. But he went undrafted last month, probably a combination of injuries and his surname.

The Buffalo Bills, clearly the most open-minded NFL squad, have signed Fagg as a free-agent.

Now back to Satan's work: Caps fans are mad at defenseman Tom Poti knocking a pass from the Penguins' Evgeni Malkin past his own goalie in overtime to give the Pittsburgh Game 5.

But look at the replay: If Poti doesn't go horizontal, Malkin's pass gets banged in by Sidney Crosby, standing solo in front of a half-open net.

Imagine the depression here if Crosby got the winner.

***

Barack Obama never announced who's going to win the Stanley Cup.

But the President's March Madness pool pick came in, and today the NCAA champions fromthe University of North Carolina will get a meet-and-greet with the Tout-in-Chief at the White House.

***

Speaking of post-racial: I don't know if I thought I'd live long enough to see a black president. But I'm sure I never thought I'd live long enough to see the top eight heavyweights be white guys.

You can look it up!

'Course, seven of the eight whiteys atop the world rankings are Eastern Europeans.

And next month, the highest rated black heavyweight, current No. 9 David Haye, fights Wladimir Klitschko in Germany for the IBF and WBO titles. Haye is also a Euro, a Brit who trains in the Turkish Republic of North Cyprus.

Where have you gone, Joe Louis?

I mulled the racial state of boxing while watching Manny Pacquiao destroy Ricky Hatton last week from Vegas on pay-per-view.

I didn't think I'd ever seen a PPV with no black fighter in the main event.

And here were Jay-Z and Denzel and a ton of mostly black celebs at ringside, having paid silly money to watch grown men pound each other.

We've come a long way, baby!

(And, my god, what a fight! Boxing's been written off like horse racing and newspapers, but PacMan/Mayweather will be among the biggest prize fights of all time.)

***

Ryan Zimmerman's streak is now 28 games.

As with any such skein, Zimmerman's mostly makes us remember how incredible Joe DiMaggio's 1941 streak was.

We're rightly enthralled with Zimmerman's franchise-record run...and he's only halfway there!

***

Another local boy made good turns out to be not so local and not so good: Tomorrow night ESPN will air a report on troubles with Binghamton University's basketball program.

The piece will focus on Miladin Kovacevic, who allegedly beat a fellow student into a coma, then fled to his native Serbia. U.S. officials are now trying to get the Serbs to extradite the suspect.

Kovacevic played his high school ball in Fairfax at Paul VI of the WCAC, which is probably both the best and the most international prep basketball conference in the country.

***

Update on the U.S. Government's War on Pickup Soccer: The red snow fences that prevented folks from playing at the park across Tilden Street from Peirce Mill have been taken down.

But the fences are still mucking things up at Piney Branch Parkway beneath 16th Street.

All the dirt spots at the Piney Branch site have been covered for a while by new grass, so the fences serve no purpose now other than to hamper the Hispanic players that have been using the site for years and years from playing the international game.

I'd love to hear another excuse for the fences.

ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!

***

D.C. United had their March on Lincoln Park on Saturday to little effect. At this point, the team might have better luck marching to Linkin Park and asking for money.

***

Anybody know who won the DC Rollergirls championship on Saturday?

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Another argument she could have made: The problem with all the civic boosters behind Nationals Park is that they are having to sell one of the ugliest pieces of city real estate. The MCI Center was built in a downtown neighborhood with obvious strengths that Nationals Park does not have. MCI Center had Chinatown, MLK Library and other civic destination spots like say the old DCRA building (ha), the courthouses, and police headquarters. Nationals Park was built in a decimated spot with almost zero charm. Anyway, I posted my two cents on the subject yesterday.

Misadventures in D.C. folds up its blog, blames Twitter and Facebook (like real media people!). They write: "The weird thing, of course, is that blogging now seems... well, so QUAINT. So old-fashioned, this idea of taking the time to construct paragraphs of text, telling a story, fleshing out an idea or thought through the process of writing about it. We've been reduced to brief one-sentence status updates (or worse, in the case of Twitter: 140 characters). It's easier to stay in touch than ever before. Yet our communication becomes more superficial with each sign of 'progress.'"

Borderstan collects early April crime stats for Borderstan.

And Now, Anacostia gives its blessing to Cherry Blast.

Bureaucrat310 mourns the crowding of Ben's Chili Bowl now that they've spotted tour buses parked outside the D.C. institution. There's tension between the old men and the tourists:

"I was at Ben's Chili Bowl last night with an out-of-town friend who wanted to "visit the place where Obama eats." It was 2am, crowded and loud! I sat at the counter next to an elderly black man and about three or four of his buddies. Yes, an old guy out past 2am! We'd already ordered as a white college-aged man started shouting his order behind me. The man, for some unknown reason, stuck his arm in between me and the elderly black man to rest his hand on the counter. He accidentally brushed against the black man who did not enjoy being touched - a small argument ensued..."

The 42 taps out a thoughtful rundown of area sports teams and events.

The Post reported today that a report by Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies has pointed out several obvious flaws with the inauguration. The report: "pointed to insufficient signs, poor coordination among law enforcement agencies and a lack of personnel to keep order and provide information to visitors." By now everyone who attended the inauguration or who read about the Purple Tunnel of Doom knows the screw-ups. The only thing left of out of the report is a mention of Dionne Warwick's ball flap.

In the report's executive summary, under "crowd management," it does point out a few major gaffes. Crowds were not only huge, they arrived before police officers got to their posts, the report states, adding that ticket holders and non-ticket holders ended up fighting for spots at the same gates. In other areas medium security fencing was either moved or trampled over. The report notes that in the Silver Section, the "snow" fencing had been trampled. In other spots, bike-rack fencing was simply moved.

The report also pointed out the conflicting maps for the "Third Street Street Crossover." One government entity declared that this crossover could not be used as an access point in and out of the Mall. Another declared that it could be. It wasn't until the morning of January 20 that a "joint decision was made" to allow silver ticket holders to use Third Street but only if they were escorted. But when D.C. Police requested it move a large group of silver ticket holders through Third Street, officers were told they could not. The report cites communication problems for the mix up.

In the conclusion of its executive summary, the authors note: "All planners and law enforcement personnel regret that so many of these travelers were unable to view the swearing in ceremony....It is the hope that all future security planners will benefit from this report."

*photo by AP.

DCist notes that the White House has decided to pass out tickets to its Easter Egg Roll online. Why is this news? Oh yeah, people give a shit and used to wait in line like all night for the chance to celebrate Easter on the White House lawn. DCist writes:

"A press release from the White House cited a desire for "more children and families from across the United States (to) have the opportunity to experience this event" as a reason for the ticketing change."

Does the White House honestly think people will travel from all over the country just to "experience this event?" Who the hell has the money? It looks like those novelty eggs don't fetch too much on eBay. A George and Laura collectible from 2003 is currently bidding at $16.50. That's like less than a dinner for two at Applebee's.

Then again this egg rolling thing has been around a long time. I'm sure half the tickets will end up on Craigslist.

# D Street between 2nd Street, NE & Louisiana Avenue, NW
# C Street between 2nd Street, NE & Louisiana Avenue, NW
# Constitution Avenue between 2nd Street, NE & Louisiana Avenue, NW
# Delaware Avenue between Columbus Circle, NE & Constitution Avenue, NE
# New Jersey Avenue between Louisiana Avenue, NW & D Street, NW
# Pennsylvania Avenue between 1st Street, NW & 3rd Street, NW
# East Capitol Street between 2nd Street & 1st Street
# 1st Street between Columbus Circle, NE & C Street, SE
# 1st Street between Louisiana Avenue, NW and Washington Avenue, SW
# Maryland Avenue between 1st Street, SW & 3rd Street, SW
# Independence Avenue between 2nd Street, SE & Washington Avenue, SW
# C Street between 1st Street, SE & Washington Avenue, SW
# Delaware Avenue between Washington Avenue, SW & C Street, SW
# New Jersey Avenue between Independence Avenue, SE & D Street, SE
# South Capitol Street between Independence Avenue & D Street

Who knew Leon Harris had a blog? This guy used to fill up the dead air on CNN. He currently provides the gravitas over at WJLA which he has done for some time.  And apparently, he also invokes the common man's perspective on his blog. Of executive pay limits, he writes under a post called "Unbelievable!":

"A recurring theme among the execs and their allies has been 'if you limit their pay, the will take their talent to other companies, and things will only get worse for the bailed-out ones.' Is that the sorriest blackmail, or is it just me?"

It's not just you.

Then there's the blog post about Dionne Warwick.

In a blog post dated Jan. 12, Harris writes of meeting up with Warwick for dinner. They end up talking about her upcoming American Music Inauguration Balls. He gushes:

"I had the honor of sitting next to the Wondrous One at Teatro Goldoni as she laid out her plans for a double-header on Inauguration night.

Ms. Warwick told me she was amazed as she watched the crowd in Chicago on Election night, particularly the youths in the maelstrom. 'They get it!', she said with a light in her eyes. She was fueled by the excitement of watching a new generation get excited about their potential, and the threshold of a new age for America they were working to be a part of. That’s what inspired her to do something different, something that hasn’t been done before.

Ms. Warwick told me she was approached about bringing a thousand of those young people to Washington for the Inauguration. "I said, ‘That’s great, but it’s not enough. How about throwing a Ball for them?’". After further review, she realized her traditional fan base "probably wouldn’t want to get down to ‘Ludacris’ ", and she didn’t want to leave them out. That’s why Dionne Warwick will be hosting TWO Balls in Washington at the Marriott Wardman Park on the same night. One is for the young and young at heart – called the Urban Ball – and one called the Legends Ball for the more 'experienced.'"

I wonder if Harris ever checked back in with Warwick after her balls were canceled. Anyway, Tim Brant's blog approves of Leon Harris' blog.

This morning I did something I rarely do on Twitter. I wrote what was exactly on my mind (which I guess is the point of twitter). I typed out: "Jake Tapper had the best question at the Obama press conference." I sat there last night watching the Obama press conference like it was event television. I'm a sucker. Tapper was one of the few reporters who asked a question aimed at getting Obama off the talking points. He asked Obama what benchmarks or milestones or measurements his administration and the public could use to see if the stimulus plan was working. In other words, how would we know if the trillion bucks were gonna cough up is money well spent.

It was a great question.

I pretty much have forgotten Obama's answer. But I remembered the moment as a typical Tapper moment. He's not your average political correspondent/hack. Since he left CP years ago, I have read and watched Tapper with amazement at his ability to churn out good copy for Salon, and solid pieces for Nightline and his politics blog. So it was just odd to read today the anonymous carping from the press corps about Tapper.

Rachel Sklar writes in the Daily Beast that Tapper is fast becoming "the new star of the Washington press pack." She points to Tapper's now-famous skirmish with Press Secretary Robert Gibbs:

That may or may not been Tapper's big moment. Surely Tapper will have bigger moments and important scoops in the coming months and years. But it was enough to get the anonymous quote roundup on Tapper:

“I think it’s safe to say that he's calculated, meaning that if he's being tough, it's likely because he sat down one day to say, ‘I want to be this administration's David Gregory,’" said one colleague on the D.C. political circuit. (Note where Gregory ended up.) Others have also compared him to Sam Donaldson, whose scrappy briefing room questioning is still legendary. “[Tapper] works really hard, he's really smart, and he does have good questions that you just can't dismiss as showboating,” said another D.C.-based political reporter who has known Tapper for years. And while more than one other person also used the word “showboating,” a briefing room colleague was a little more zen: “It's too early to judge anyone... And I wouldn't get too worked up over the press briefings. Judge all of us on the reporting, analysis, and packages.”

I think it's a little lame of these correspondents to a) insist on anonymity; b) carp on a colleague as ambitious (this just reeks of sour grapes); c) describe Tapper as showboating. These are the same press corps that gave Bush a free ride. These are the same people that hissed at Colbert. What's so wrong with asking tough questions?

I have been trying to figure out Michael Steele for the last week or so. Every since he won the RNC's top job that has meant more TV chat show appearances where he talks up tax cuts and talks down Obama. He just doesn't sound that smart. Yesterday, Steele told a Politico reporter that Obama's stimulus package "is just a wish list from a lot of people who have been on the sidelines for years.. to get a little bling, bling."

And, well, he has a history, a bad history. In terms of contributing to the economy, the one thing everyone remembers is the hiring homeless from PA to handout misleading fliers on election day when he ran against Cardin and got trounced. Fisher has the definitive postmortem on that ugly campaign.

Now Steele continues to insist government doesn't create jobs.

This morning I woke up to this thought: Steele is our new Sarah Palin.

Tim McDowell, made quasi-famous by our cover story "Rabies R Us," got wind of the Obamas' little raccoon problem at the White House and says, repeatedly, he will head on over there and collect the critters, free of charge.

McDowell, owner and operator of AB & BE Animal Bat & Bird Extractors---"Solving Human-Animal Conflicts"---is fired up about the prospects. "Everyone's eyes are on the White House right now," he says. "If I had them as a client, what better referral do you need?"

No offense against the National Park Service, which has thus far been unsuccessful in humanely trapping one large 'coon and several smaller ones. But McDowell says they're not experts. He is. "How many of these park service employees are inoculated against rabies? You got all those people putting in all the time they got into it. The government's paying for it, isn't it? I got the traps, I got the insurance, I got the exposure to rabies..."

"I got this," he says.

As for the raccoons, McDowell says with a good amount of certainty it's a mom with an adolescent litter in tow and she may be about to shoo her pups out of her life. "She has to run them off. If there's a male in the litter he will kill and eat her new litter," he says. "If I was to come out there and do an inspection, I'd find out where they're breaching. You got to find the path from the denning areas to the food areas."

This may be news, but it's no surprise to McDowell the White House grounds have raccoons. They're all over D.C.---McDowell says there are 90 raccoons per square mile. And this probably isn't the first time the president's address has had a problem. Prior to the open-book Obama era, however, "this was all hush-hush stuff," McDowell says, concluding: "This raccoon story is going to be big."

City Paper photo by Charles Steck.