More Money, More Problems: Ordinarily, finding an extra $77 million in tax revenue floating around the District's budget would be great news. But since the D.C. Council was hoping to find an extra $135 million, today's announcement of new revenue projections actually came as a bit of a disappointment. The wait list for how to spend the new money is considerably longer than the new projections can pay for. What won't make the cut: More cops, Sunday library hours, and a whole bunch of other stuff the council was hoping it'd be able to deliver. -3

Does This Taxi Go To The Jail?: One way to make sure your organization doesn't receive negative press coverage for what it's doing is to avoid doing controversial things. Another is to arrest journalists who try to watch what you're doing. The D.C. Taxicab Commission apparently decided the second plan makes more sense, getting U.S. Park Police officers to detain Pete Tucker from The Fightback and Jim Epstein from Reason for recording and photographing a public meeting. Most taxi drivers at the meeting left in protest. Prediciton: If Tucker and Epstein have to pay cab fare any time in the next year, it'll only be because they're too shy to tell the drivers who they are. -2

The One That Got Away: There's nothing worse for newspaper types than to see a good story wind up running in the competition's pages before you have it—especially if you could have run it, yourself. As former Washington Post staffer Jose Antonio Vargas' moving narrative in the New York Times Magazine, exposing himself as an undocumented immigrant, made its way around the Internet today, the Times disclosed that it only ran there because the Post's Outlook section had killed it. Outlook editor Carlos Lozada says "a decision was made" to pass on it. Wonder how many people interested in the story will decide to pass on reading the Sunday Post and read the Times instead this week. -2

Are You Ready For Some Football?: Fantasy football addicts won't be the only people in the area complaining if the NFL season doesn't get on track this year. A study by the Maryland comptroller estimates the treasury will miss out on $40 million in revenue if the Baltimore Ravens and the Washington Redskins, both of which play their home games in the Old Line State, don't take the field. Which could be a reason to be glad D.C. hasn't actually built a stadium for the Redskins to return to the District—just what the city needs now is more unexpected budget cuts. (See the first item, if you had any doubts.) -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 58 Today's score: -8 Today's Needle rating: 50

"DC plan for homeless families is to provide apts. $1,500 per.Should there be limit on number of fams hsd from other states? NY Times says no"

"Overflow for homeless families is DC Gen. 135 fams now at capacity. Should DC provide unlimited capacity for other states. NY Times says yes"

More tweets after the jump!

Wells goes on to tweet:

"Fams and individs in DC have right to shelter during cold. Surrounding states do not. % of fams in DC shelters from Md has tripled.

To bal our budget we must cut foster care, pub ed, disability pymnts, juv justice, TANF, pub safety and raise taxes to get to 175 mil

Mont co and PG co have a residency req. for shelter. We shld hse when freezing but not provide apt and shld return to home state when safe.

NY Times recommends DC expand shelter capacity if needed and dun Congress for the cost. Good luck with that.

CFO said no cost savings b/c of current waitlist for homeless services. DC residents should have dibs, no?"

Today, the New York Times' editorial board took the unusual step of issuing an opinion on a local D.C. issue. The board thoroughly shreds Ward 6 Councilmember Tommy Wells' incredibly lazy proposal to limit homeless services to District residents. If only the Washington Post would be so bold.

Times editorial after the jump.

The Times editorial's first graph pretty much says it all:

"In another example of how budgetary pressures can lead to very bad public policy, the City Council of the District of Columbia is considering turning away homeless people from winter shelters if they cannot show ties to the district through proof of a recent legal address or receipt of public assistance. That would put the lives of many vulnerable people at risk, and it won’t save a dime."

Here's some more of the paper's supreme takedown:

"According to the district’s chief financial officer, the plan would not relieve any budget pressures. The waiting line for space in shelters is always so long that if a family from elsewhere wouldn’t qualify, a family in the district would take its place. But the sponsor of the idea, Councilman Tommy Wells, who leads the human services committee, is wrestling with a $175 million shortfall in the human services budget and is eager to show that he can make tough choices. Tough and inhumane.

Mr. Wells should instead be looking for any help he can find to expand the shelter system — dunning Congress, charitable foundations, local philanthropists. Waiting until someone freezes to death will be too late.

Poverty, hunger and homelessness know no borders. The Supreme Court underscored this truth 41 years ago when it said states can’t adopt policies to restrict the freedom of the poor to travel from one to another, whether pursuing their destiny or survival. If the nation’s capital won’t honor the spirit of the law — and its own statute and long history — all Americans will be shamed."

file photo of D.C. General during last March.

When asked if his decision was motivated solely by the pull of the Times, the 31-year-old Appelbaum responded, "I have loved working here. It's been a tremendous place to work. It's incredible in one journalism life to work at both places."

Appelbaum got a plum of a job at the Times. He'll be working an enterprise post on business and economics, from which he'll be able to "dig in deeply" on lots of issues. Not that the Post didn't afford him some enterprise moments as well: "I've had some enterprise opportunities here," he said.

The departure is a tough blow for Post Executive Editor Marcus Brauchli, a biz-reporting veteran who has taken a personal interest in the reporting churned out by Appelbaum and his cohorts on the nat-biz beat. Brauchli didn't respond instantaneously to an inquiry about what significance Appelbaum's departure may hold for the Post.

But now it's all clear: Bowlen set Snyder up!

Turns out Bowlen was still paying off Shanahan's huge coaching contract. The only way he could get out of writing more big checks to Shanny was to get some other NFL team to hire the guy he'd just fired. Kind of like alimony payments, where you keep paying until somebody marries your ex-wife.

So, as soon as Shanahan signs the deal with Snyder that will be announced later today at Redskins Park, Bowlen's off the hook for a big chunk of his ex's nut.

From the Denver Post:

Bowlen will be relieved of roughly $7 million in expenses today when the Washington Redskins announce Mike Shanahan as their new coach. Shanahan, who was the Broncos' head coach from 1995 until he was fired after the 2008 season, completed a five-year deal Tuesday evening with the Redskins, according to two sources familiar with the negotiations.

Shanahan will receive approximately the same average guaranteed salary — $7 million a season — he had during his final contract with the Broncos. He still had three years remaining on his deal when he was fired nearly a year ago.

The Broncos will still owe Shanahan approximately $3.5 million per year in 2010 and 2011 to essentially have him coach the Redskins. Then again, Bowlen will save roughly $3.5 million each of the next two years now that their former coach is no longer unemployed.

Bottom line: Bowlen hoodwinked Snyder again!

And this deal is a clearer-cut hoodwink than that Portis-for-Bailey-plus-draft-picks hoodwink back in 2004!

Before moving on, let me repeat something from above: Shanahan was fired by Bowlen a year ago for losing a four-game division lead in the last four weeks of the season to the San Diego Chargers, a team coached by Norv Turner, who wasn't good enough to coach Dan Snyder's Redskins.

Got that?

(AFTER THE JUMP: Shanahan and Allen won't keep fans from fleeing FedExField? Sherman Smith says the worst came to pass? The Wall Street Journal doesn't think the Skins are the worst team in the NFL? Ben Olsen won't be leaving United after all? The New York Times runs a sad correction to its George Michael obituary?)

***

From the sound of things, the mere hirings of Mike Shanahan and Bruce Allen ain't going to be enough to retain season ticketholders. The members over at Dan Snyder's message board, extremeskins.com, are polling themselves about who's going to renew their tickets for the 2010 season.

The results are informal, but it should be considered that the extremeskins posters are the most devout followers in the burgundy and gold flock. And as of last night, the respondents saying they ain't coming back outnumbered those that would be buying season tickets again by a huge margin. Most of the naysayers threw in some explanations about why they're dropping out, and listed things like the on-field product, lousy game-day experience, cost, economy, availability of single tickets through StubHub and eBay, and, overwhelmingly, disdain for Dan Snyder.

My favorite post came from the extremeskins member who goes by stew, who told the board that he had dropped off the Redskins seasons ticket rolls in 2008, and couldn't be happier with the decision. From stew:

This was my first year not renewing tickets, not buying merchandise, and not shopping at Redskins sponsors stores. Honestly, its been great! I bought a 50 inch big screen, a PS3, and a new L shaped sectional couch, with the money I would have spent on my season tickets. I have enjoyed the hell out of my TV and PS3 and have received compliments on my couch... some of which came while watching the Skins lose.It just isn't worth it right now. Snyder has his hands too deep in my team for me to let him put his hands deep into my pocket. When his attitude and personality change... and there is proof of this, not just what people say, then I will rethink my stance on spending money on this team. Its liberating knowing I am part of his profit loss, and there has been one. I am part of what is getting Snyders attention. If we drafft a QB, I will know that Snyder still has his hands all over my team and I will not support moves like that with my hard earned money. I still love the redskins, but I will not contribute to Snyders profits while he is destroying a franchise that I have been passionate about since my childhood.The good thing about this mythical waiting list is that the games will never be blacked out... the tickets are sold, no need to black out any games... I can watch them all from my 50 inch big screen silly.

If the timing wasn't off, I would have accused stew of basing his lifestyle on my charticle on how to spend the money you won't be spending on Redskins season tickets!

But, the thread and all its vitriol confirmed one thing: Snyder needs to announce he's building a Jumbotron real, real fast.

***

Long recap of the 2009 season in the Washington Post by all the folks on the Redskins beat. The best part comes late, with a quote from Sherman Smith about how he consoled Jim Zorn at year's end:

"I told him all the reasons why people were telling me not to come here all came true," Smith said prior to the Redskins' final game.

***

The NYTPicker notes that the Old Gray Lady's '09 Holiday Gift Guide includes a special section, "Of Color/Stylish Gifts," with gift ideas for that special person of color: "Somali fashion, do-it-yourself henna kits, children's books that draw inspiration from the lives of Barack Obama and Sonia Sotomayor: it's not hard to find gifts created for and by people of color this holiday season."

So.

Black Gift: Hair Rules hair products. "We live in a multitextural world, especially when it comes to hair," the Times writes. "Anthony Dickey is to women with 'problem hair' what Batman is to Gotham City. With his out-of-the box approach, innovative products (including his new travel kits for kinky, wavy and curly hair), Mr. Dickey has been a hair hero to Michelle Obama, Kelis, Alicia Keys and others." (Alternate: The Mocha Manual to Military Life: A Savvy Guide for Wives, Girlfriends and Servicemembers).

Latino Gift: The "Wise Latina" T-shirt. "Wise shoppers can commemorate the moment in history when Sonia Sotomayor was sworn in as the first Hispanic justice to the Supreme Court, not to mention when she uttered one of the most memorable quotes of 2009: 'Wise Latina.' Bonus: 15 percent of the proceeds will be donated to the Bronx Global Learning Institute for Girls."

There are also Asian Gifts and Indian Gifts.

Whatever you do, do not get any of the following White Gifts for anyone who is not white: the Bjorn Borg Men's Underwear and Sock Set (from the Times guide's "Chic and Cheerful" section; for Swedish white men only), or the Linus Roadster Classic Bicycle (from the "All-American"  section; only whites ride bikes), or the Tom Ford Private Blend White Musk Collection (see, right there, it says it's for whites).

Happy shopping!

Contact me at eniedowski@washingtoncitypaper.com or follow me on Twitter.

Will you, dear reader, beg to pay us for our online journalism?

*photo courtesy of mediabistro.

"The accompanying story by June Kronholz is, as the picture suggests, almost uniformly admiring. Although it doesn't address what happened to the real Braveheart, Scottish rebel William Wallace, who was hanged, disemboweled, beheaded and quartered in 1305 for rising up against the British crown."

One commenter brings the discussion back into the current millennium: "I don't want Rhee to be beheaded, I just want her to resign."

Since Rhee took office in 2007, it's become quite trendy to follow the fiery Chancellor around for awhile and then write a breathless profile about her crusade to fix D.C.'s schools. C'mon, Education Next, all the cool kids are doing it. For interested readers, here's a sampling:

September 2007: "Can Michelle Rhee Save DC Schools?" Washingtonian.com.

October 2007: "A hard road to hoe: teaching poor children." The Economist.

August 2008: "An Unlikely Gambler." Newsweek.

November 2008: "Rhee Tackles Classroom Challenge." TIME.

November 2008: "The Lightning Rod." The Atlantic.

January 2009: "Is Michelle Rhee the new face of education reform?" Christian Science Monitor.

March 2009: "Education's Ground Zero." Nicholas Kristof in the New York Times.

(Note: Most of them are "almost uniformly admiring.")

Above is an ad e-mailed out by the Redskins ticket office this week. As you read this, remember, for chuckles, that just a couple months ago Redskins executive Mitch Gershman was claiming in press releases that the team had a waiting list of "over 200,000."

Sure, the Skins waiting list has long been bogus. But this year it's also become apparent that the NFL's blackout rule is enforced as stringently as its steroids policy.

(AFTER THE BREAK: Where's Chris Cooley in that photo? Clinton Tortoise? Lord Farquaad? Lindsay Czarniak cheers on teams that don't pay her? Is the NY Times reporter on Dan Snyder's payroll, too? Another Have-Nots bowl this week?)

FedExField this Sunday would be a good place and time to test my theory that Dan Snyder has mucked up the Redskins every bit as much as he mucked up Six Flags.

Tickets to Skins games have been overpriced, based on demand, since FedExField opened. I've never been to a game there when tickets couldn't be had for far less than face value. I used to half-joke, based on experience, that if you simply held a $20 bill in the air in the stadium parking lot on game day you'd get mauled by folks trying to unload spare tickets.

But, the bottom is about to fall out of the Skins ticket market, and that could happen this weekend with KC in town: Craigslist had 908 separate ads hawking Skins/Chiefs tickets posted when I checked late last night.

So: Six Flags stock, which sold for $11.92 shortly after Snyder took over the theme park chain in 2005, now goes for 17.2 cents.

I wonder if Skins tickets will be worth any more than that this weekend.

Anybody willing to sell Redskins tickets for 17.2 cents, please e-mail cheapseats@washcp.com.

***

Interesting thing about that photo the Redskins marketing department is using to move excess tickets this week: Two tight ends are up front, Todd Yoder and Fred Davis. But no Chris Cooley. Sort of like the box score to last weekend's game in Carolina.

Seriously, after spending the summer yelling "Look at me! Look at me!" and hoping to become the face of the franchise through any number of off-field stunts, Cooley's disappeared. Cooley had no catches on Sunday, and only showed up in the highlights because he had mimicked Santana Moss's silly first-down routine after a play.

Cooley's used up most of his attention-getting tricks by now, too. The guy's going to have to burn two cows or show two penises to get noticed.

Or, you know, catch some passes.

***

The Skins' lousy season has produced some giggle-friendly new nicknames. Among them:

"Clinton Tortoise," attributed to WTEM hosts Andy Pollin and Steve Czaban; "Albert Buttersworth," all over sports radio; and, the clubhouse leader by several strokes, "Lord Farquaad," for Dan Snyder, which I first saw two weeks ago on Snyder's own message board, ExtremeSkins.com, and has since caught fire.

Damn, that's funny.

***

The New York Times has been writing a lot about the Redskins these days. The Times' coverage of the Dan Snyder administration is very different from the Washington Post coverage.

While the Post and Snyder go at it behind the scenes and in print, the Times' Skins stories, all from reporter Judy Battista, have sometimes been fawning.

Sometimes, they're just plain fictional. (Double-dare you to match the headline with anything in the story!) Battista referenced that latter story, which insinuated for no apparent reason and with no evidence to support the insinuation that ex-Skins GM Charley Casserly was impressed by Dan Snyder's coolness this season, in one of her pieces this week, saying "Snyder was still feeling patient" a little more than two weeks ago."

Says who?

What is it with Times reporters named Judy getting snowed when they cover D.C. matters?

***

Lindsay Czarniak led off her sports report on WRC-TV's 11 o'clock newscast last night with an incredibly enthusiastic segment on the Wizards three-point win over Detroit, pumping up Gilbert Arenas' stats and Flip Saunders revenge. I'd never seen such fervor for a preseason NBA game.

The excitement was catchy, and seemed totally genuine: Czarniak works for Dan Snyder, but not Abe Pollin, and so she wasn't wearing any Wizards' gear as she gushed.

If you follow sports in Washington, I guess preseason is the best time to get excited, before hopes and dreams get crushed.

***

Update on the Road to 11 Losses: We now know there will be no 0-11 season in local high school football.

Anacostia's chance at having the losingest year in D.C. high school football history got waylaid last Friday, as the Indians beat Eastern 36-0 in a matchup of really down programs.

Anacostia, which went into the game 0-6, has scheduled 11 games this year, one more than the standard 10-game season, and far as I can tell, no D.C. school has ever had an 0-11 record. But Anacostia just couldn't find a way to lose to Eastern, which didn't have a football team at all last year because of a lack of players, and so far is 0-4 in the 2009 season.

Eastern, which only has 8 games listed on its schedule, now has its biggest game of the year this Friday when it hosts Spingarn in the latest Have-Nots Bowl: Together, Eastern and Spingarn have been outscored 397-19 and have an 0-9 record.

Somebody's gotta win!

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Author's note: The Redskins lost. The rest of today's Cheap Seats Daily will be devoted to what is at once the bizarrest and the most pathetic episode to come out of this sorry season.

Be scared,  people: A fake Hogette is on the loose.

As if things weren't bad enough in Redskins Land, a dire APB went out to hardcore fans over the weekend: The man calling himself "Stephette Hogette" is not a real Hogette.

Sure, the guy's rubber snout and his ladies garb, to the untrained eye, make Stephette Hogette look exactly like the authentic Hogettes, who've been dressing in drag since 1983 but won't give up their gimmick all these years after it outlived its cuteness. But don't be fooled: Not just anybody can align themselves with these douchebags.

(AFTER THE JUMP: The bogus Hogette is "dangerous to women and possibly children"? Cheap Seats Daily tracks down the fugitive Hogette? The fugitive Hogette says "This means war!"? The fugitive Hogette also raps? We need Hogettes, bogus or not, now more than ever?)

"It has come to our attention that an individual is representing himself to be a Hogette," read the warning, which was posted late last week on Skins message boards and fan sites, including Dan Snyder's ExtremeSkins.com. "Please be aware that 'HOGETTES' is a Registered Trademark and the Hogette likeness is COPYWRITED. He is currently in violation of both federal and state statutes.

"We have a very stringent set of rules and guidelines on who can become a Hogette and we monitor all of our members to insure that inappropriate action does not occur. We are very disturbed that someone would portray us in a negative manner and try to insure that this does not happen. However, from time to time we find it necessary to protect our Trademark and Copyright. If you feel that you have been approached by an impostor or become aware of a potential impostor, please contact us immediately at:hogettes.org or hogettes.net."

Fans can spot the fake Hogette because Stephette Hogette usually travels alone, said the warnings. Real Hogettes only roam in packs.

As if being called a bogus Hogette isn't a scary enough charge, the Hogette police also claimed Stephette Hogette is a menace to society.

Redskins blogger Rich Tandler posted on his own blog that "a friend" had spotted the imposter Hogette at a FedEx tailgate before the Rams game and that he had "obviously had been drinking and he made inappropriate comments to some of the ladies."

When some folks on Snyder's board questioned why there's so much interest in taking down a guy for wearing a hog nose, the poster known as Huly, a superfan who organizes welcome home gatherings for the team at Redskins Park, upped the ante: "It is not that he is just dressing like them, claiming to be one of them etc," Huly wrote, "but that he is harming fans under their name. He is dangerous to women and possibly children."

Stephette Hogette, Huly said, "tries to give young women tickets to attend a game with him and [what] I have heard from other fans is he tries to inappropriately touch women and makes sexual advances and inappropriate comments."

Dan Hines, calling himself a real Hogette, came on ExtremeSkins.com to plead for fans' help in un-snouting the bogus Hogette. Stephette's reign of terror, Hines said, jeopardizes the authentic Hogettes' "charity work with children's charities."

Redskins fans are angry these days. So even though the charges against poor Stephette were as vague as they were actionable, some folks were ready to form a posse and go the vigilante route to get him. Fans posted photos of the wanted man (Stephette's the one wearing the snout in the photo up top) to help with the search.

On ExtremeSkins, Capt Kaos promised "to keep an eye out for the scumbag." Sideshow24 said he'd "drop this fat clown" if Stephette brings his fake Hogette routine to a tailgate.

(Huly announced later in the ExtremeSkins thread that a store to sell licensed Hogettes merchandise is currently being set up. Guess somebody doesn't want to cut Stephette Hogette in.)

Nowhere in these warnings or postings do they give any information about the real man charged with being a fake Hogette. Cheap Seats Daily has discovered that the fugitive in the dress and hog nose is actually a guy from Brooklyn named Steve Rasnikov.

Rasnikov, contacted last night in New York—he answers his phone "Hail," as in "Hail to the Redskins!"—says he's aware of the hub-bub about him, but vows to keep wearing his snout.

"This is war now," Rasnikov says. "I used to respect those guys. I sat with them in the Pigpen at games. They accepted me. But then they started hanging out with Bird Man [an Eagles mascot]. This shows how corporate those guys have gotten. They don't like that Stephette Hogette is getting attention. I'm going to tailgates, they're nowhere to be found. Stephette is a Hogette for the people, like Jesus. I've been dressing up for about 20 years. I'm not going to let these guys scare me off."

Though some might quibble with the Stephette Hogette/Jesus comparisons, Rasnikov's length-of-service claim rings true: The New York Times archives has a story from the 1992 NFL draft, held in NYC, featuring a trio of crazy Redskins fans in silly clothing, including "Steve Rasnikov." The Times story has him in the role of "Stephanie Hogette," and he's described as "wearing a cowboy hat, blazer, skirt and pumps." The story indicates that the Skins backers, including Stephanie Hogette/Steve Rasnikov, were taking heat from the fans of the NY teams for showing such loyalty to the then-defending Super Bowl champs from D.C.

From the Times story:

"We take necessary precautions," [Stephanie Hogette] said when asked about dealing with Giant and Jet fans. "They know we are secure in our beliefs. They know we are people not to be trifled."

Asked about all the accusations of bad behavior that the Hogette police are now leveling, Rasnikov, who would not give his age, allows that he does "have fun" at Redskins tailgates, including the Dead Tree Crew's regular debaucherrific get-togethers at FedExField. Rasnikov says Stephette Hogette always "brings a bottle" along on the drive to Raljon from Brooklyn. He's no threat to women and children, Rasnikov says. But he concedes that his standard pickup line, delivered at the tailgates by another of his alter egos, the rapper Snow Rap G, might put off some targeted females.

I ask him to let me hear his line. Rasnikov, with too much gusto and no irony, raps it for me.

Yo yo yo
My tag is Snow Rap G
I'm an OG
That be Lewis and Clarkin' for the right shorty
You can ride for free
I don't charge a fee
All you got to do is rsvp

"They say that's inappropriate?" Rasnikov/Stephette Hogette/Snow Rap G huffs when he's/they're done. "Come on!"

But, again, Rasnikov says, he's not giving up any part of his gameday routine. Anybody who wants his snout will have to take it from his cold dead nose. Rasnikov swears he'll be in full drag as he walks from tailgate to tailgate before the upcoming Kansas City game.

And, bogus or not, perhaps he'll be OK. By the end of the weekend, the campaign to apprehend the fugitive Hogette had lost most of its steam. After the Carolina debacle, Fuse, a poster on ExtremeSkins.com, explained why Stephette Hogette is both anachronistic and viable: "Cross dressing pigs are kind of embarassing now," he wrote on Dan Snyder's message board. "But then again, so is the entire organization."

The thread was then closed by moderators.

"It's going to be a mess," he says. "By 6 p.m. they'll start turning people away from the parking lots. It's going to be another Radiohead."

In concert go-er parlance, "another Radiohead" means "way @#$%^&*'d up!" A lack of usable parking spaces for the precious British band's performance at the Bristow, Va., hellhole caused thousands of ticketholders to miss the entire show.

Szymkowicz personally witnessed that Nissan Pavilion debacle. But that's not the only reason to have faith in his prediction of another Radiohead tonight. Nobody outside Redskins Park knows more about Dan Snyder's parking set up than Szymkowicz. He's the guy who spearheaded the lawsuit against the Redskins for the game-day ban on pedestrian traffic around FedExField.

Because of his litigation, in 2004 the team had to reverse its policy and allow folks who found ways around Snyder's outrageous parking charges to walk into Skins games.

(AFTER THE JUMP: FedExField has HOW many parking spaces? Capitol Hill interns are going to be to blame for the U2 mess? Some buffoon's looking for a parking pass to tonight's show? The New York Times and Dan Snyder are in bed together? Audi is Dan Snyder's new mattress?)

That case against the Redskins required him to do a lot of research into such things as how many cars can fit into Snyder's lots. And the resulting intelligence informed his forecast for mass confusion and big problems at the U2 show.

"I think they had 19,000 to 21,000 spaces back then," he says. "The lots have changed, but I think it's about the same amount now. But you've got between 78,000 to 83,000 people there tonight. The clusterfuck that's going to happen tonight is based on the fact that they don't have enough parking spaces. It's going to be worse because this U2 crowd won't know what to do. A Redskins parking lot is pretty organized, because [the same people go] there every week and have since the stadium opened 10 years ago. People know where to go. Tonight, you'll have all these young Capitol Hill people who moved to DC from Kansas and Ohio and all over. These new people will have no idea where they're going."

But, the beauty of Dan Snyder's operation: Even folks who get turned away from the parking lots will have already paid the Redskins owner a parking fee for the show: Snyder sneakily tacked on an $8 per ticket parking surcharge to every U2 ticket sold.

Assuming 80,000 folks bought tickets, that's $640,000 extra dollars that go straight into Snyder's pockets, no matter how many of those ticketholders take Metro or walk or just plain get shut out of the show.

As they used to say about Lex Luthor: The guy's a genius!

Stay tuned to Cheap Seats Daily for updates on Radiohead 2K9.

***

The guy who placed this Craigslist ad is among the demographic J.P. Szymkowicz refers to: Folks with U2 tickets who have no idea what they're about to get into:

U2 PARKING NEEDED

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Sorry to break it to you, Steve: There are no parking passes for the U2 show.

***

Dan Snyder isn't getting along with the Washington Post. Nothing new there.

But the New York Times all of a sudden has really gotten into public displays of affection for the Redskins owner. I mean, if this keeps up, pretty soon they're going to have to get a room.

Today's Times has a story headlined "Former Redskins Executive Likes Snyder's Newfound Patience." The piece includes Charley Casserley's views on what's going on with the Redskins these days.

But in the story, by Times' writer Judy Battista, Casserley, who was fired by Snyder after the 1999 season to give Vinny Cerrato a better office, merely says he's not in favor of in-season firings. Bottom line: Casserley's quotes don't merit the headline.

The Times' overglowing headline seemed even stranger after hearing an interview with the former Redskins general manager on this morning's "Sports Junkies" show on WJFK, where Casserley didn't in any way endorse the Redskins owner.

The Times' pro-Snyder headline comes just days after the same paper ran a sweet and bulletproof story about Snyder and wife Tanya's bouts with cancer.

Dan Snyder talked to the New York Times for that piece. The Snyders look fabulous in the two photos that run with it.

Why the hell doesn't he do more of that?

***

While fans are abandoning Snyder's Good Ship Titanic, the automaker Audi has seen fit to sign a long-term deal to strengthen its relationship with the Redskins.

From a press release announcing the alliance:

The partnership offers Audi and Washington-area Audi dealers extensive opportunities to interact with some of professional football’s most dedicated fans. The Audi brand and Audi performance vehicles will enjoy prominence at FedExField, in television advertising and Redskins social media applications.

Notably, the Redskins and Audi are completely remodeling the east end of FedExField to Audi design standards. The result will be a new 13,000-square-foot Audi Club for all premium seating-level fans to enjoy during games and special events.

Audi of America moved its headquarters to Herndon, Va., during the summer of 2008 and this agreement establishes Audi as the hometown team in the Washington, D.C. market.“

Audi is making it a top high priority to be a vital presence in our new home,” said Johan de Nysschen, President, Audi of America. “Joining up with the Washington Redskins and the team’s passionate fans sends a clear signal that Audi will play an active role for years to come in one of the world’s most dynamic cities. I look forward to expanding this relationship and expanding our role in the region’s communities alongside an organization with deep local roots.”

Good for Snyder, landing another sponsor in this economic climate.

But it's still not as exciting as Snyder's official mattress.

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Shadid's prize-winning work focused on the tumult in Iraq at the time of the March 2003 U.S. invasion and its aftermath. It was amazing stuff, and a great point of pride within the Post.

His official explanation to Strupp, as is usual in such cases, yields absolutely no insight into why he went from one huge sinking ship to another: "It was a difficult decision to move. I still have deep affection and admiration for the Post. My time there represents my favorite years in journalism, and Don Graham remains an inspiration to me. Nada [Shadid's wife] and I just thought it was time to seek new challenges."

Background: A week back from Sunday, Wilbon had written an apologia for Michael Jordan on the occasion of Jordan's acceptance speech for his Basketball Hall of Fame induction. By many accounts, Jordan's remarks on that occasion were childish and small: He used the podium to belittle everyone who'd ever doubted him. He never came close to the high road. He invited to the speech an old schoolmate who was chosen over him for the varsity squad. He took to task people who'd slighted him over his career.

In comes Wilbon to—surprise!—defend Jordan. "Jordan said himself toward the end of his speech that he took all these perceived slights as challenges and turned them into wood that made the fire rage. Michael Jordan has always known who he is and what he needed to be Michael Jordan. It's just that few people knew this particular side until Friday night and almost nobody knew he was going to let the wall down when he did."

Anthony on this matter: "As someone who has had his own sports idols throughout his life, I understand how Wilbon continues to breathe the rarefied air of Jordan's greatness, but only a small measure of objectivity is required to see that what Jordan revealed with his self-absorbed, unkind comments during his Hall of Fame induction ceremony was the nasty, selfish side that accompanies many elite athletes' competitiveness."

The retirement of Jordan has saved the world from the frequent Wilbon paeans to the greatest basketball player ever. This is a columnist who'll excuse just about anything from the 6-foot-6 swingman. And in this column, Wilbon suggested why: "It wasn't a speech so much as it was an entertaining rant, something you saw pretty often if you were one of Jordan's golf partners or card-playing friends or, to be honest, a sportswriter with an off-the-record relationship with him." Gotta protect your sources.

Elsewhere, Post columnist Colbert I. King goes up strong against Peacoholics and Michelle Rhee over the Barry Harrison conviction. King sounds outraged that a ex-con should be bale to get access to a D.C. school, where he could prey on schoolgirls.

Must-read of the weekend, which comes via the New York Times. Here's an abstract:

*Egypt hears about swine flu, freaks out;

*Egypt decides it must take action;

*Egypt decides swine are responsible for spreading swine flu;

*Egypt's decision that swine are spreading swine flu is not endorsed by professionals;

*Egypt, freaked out about swine flu and convinced that swine are spreading it, kills all—or a least a great deal of—swine in Cairo;

*Egypt thinks it has done something positive;

*Egypt hasn't, in fact, done something positive;

*Egypt has done something dumb;

*Egypt watches helplessly as ancient system for handling trash crumbles, as a direct result of its swine slaughter. The entrepreneurs who handle a great deal of trash collection in Cairo, you see, had fed much of their organic rubbish to pigs, whom they later slaughtered for food; now that there are no pigs to eat that rubbish, it's all piling up in the streets;

*Egypt wishes that the goats would eat more of the quickly accumulating garbage, but that's not happening.

In other other interesting news, the New York Times fired its second token conservative yesterday. Ben Stein, of the late John Hughes' Ferris Bueller's Day Off, was relieved of his financial column for acting as "a commercial spokesman for FreeScore, a financial services company," according to Felix Salmon. Not too long ago the Times declined to renew William Kristol's contract because of the error-riddled dreck he scribbled in crayon on ripped paper bags and then forced into the NYT courier's chubby cheeks for transport. I completely agree with both decisions but find it sickening that the Times can't seem to part with Maureen Dowd,  a plagiarist, total luddite, and liberal sycophant; or Alessandra Stanley, who writes her column using a quill filled with unhappiness and checks her reporting against the ingredients list on a box of crack-cocaine. Simply put:  The Times needs to hold its writers to a higher standard.

Birthers after the jump.
Some really smart people, like the Examiner's Tim Carney and David Freddoso, are calling the heavy birther coverage the product of media bias. Here's their argument:

Twenty-eight percent of Republicans believe President Obama is not a natural-born citizen of the United States, and 30 percent are "not sure," according to this poll.

But before liberals begin to smirk, here's a poll from 2007, in which 35 percent of Democrats said that President Bush knew in advance about the 9/11 attacks, and 26 percent were not sure.

The next thing they say is that the media ignored the 9/11 conspiracy theories because they were covering for liberals but have latched on to the birther movement because it's led by conservatives. The only problem with this assessment is that in the wake of 9/11 NO ELECTED DEMOCRATS SPONSORED LEGISLATION ACCUSING PRESIDENT BUSH OF ALLOWING 9/11 TO HAPPEN. There were no U.S. Rep. Randy Neugebauers out there. No former Clinton Administration officials making birth certificate jokes while campaigning for executive office in their home states. In short, the poll results reveal what citizens feel. But as we've seen with the birther movement, even elected officials are hoping/praying/wishing that this is true. And that, folks, is scary.

Perhaps of equal significance, TV wasn't taking its cues from the Internet in 2001. But it's sure as hell doing it now. Goddamn dinosaurs.

After the jump: more things that happened yesterday, but with bullet points!

• Like the swallows to Capistrano, so return corrections to the New York Times' Cronkite obit.
• Kappa Alpha sigh. Next year: Vegas!
• It would be funnier if this said "GREGRY"
• Bad teams...win close games?
• Also: It's raining!