Full trailer will debut ahead of Bandslam, opening Friday. Until then, squeal accordingly:

The story “New Moon Gets Trashed” isn’t at ALL what it sounds like: Yahoo News.

Er, I mean the “Wolf Pack.” From, of course, the next installment of the Twilight franchise, New Moon.

Very tween appropriate, don’t you think?

Pictured: Alex Meraz (Paul), Chaske Spencer (Sam Uley), Bronson Pelletier (Jared), and Kiowa Gordon (Embry). Photo courtesy of Timothy White

In an interview with Nylon, Twilight star Kristen Stewart twice referred to her experiences since becoming involved with the franchise as “psychotic situations.”

Stewart was particularly blunt about Twilight’s publicity tour: “You get a slew of all these bullshit questions like, ‘What’s it like to kiss a vampire?’ and ‘How much do you love Robert?’ Then you’ll get one that’s actually real, but you’re like, ‘No, I can’t right now, I can’t even consider [it].’”

Maybe by the time production for Eclipse rolls around, Who Will Play Jacob? will turn into Who Will Play Bella? Better start keeping your craziness to yourselves, people!

(OK, so the announcement isn’t exactly “just in.” But until I can program RSS feeds to set off my alarm clock, I’ll typically be as useful as dead-tree papers in terms of reporting breaking news.)

So, my dear Twilight fans: Taylor Lautner will be back, despite being toyed with by Summit Entertainment and the People Who Make Decisions these last few weeks that they may not want him for the franchise’s second installment, New Moon. It’s a pleasant surprise, considering that the widely reported rumors were practically eulogistic.

That’s right, I said PLEASANT. I may have picked on director Catherine Hardwicke, writer Stephenie Meyer, and star Robert Pattinson for Twilight’s tediousness.

But I blame Lautner for nothing — as Jacob, the Native American complication in the Bella-Edward love story, the erstwhile Sharkboy did good. He smiled, he charmed, he made the young girls cry. (Or at least squeal.) Way to go!

And now, let’s hear from you. Don’t be shy!

After this post, I’m totally shutting up about Twilight. (Unless, of course, Taylor Lautner’s not invited back to reprise his squeal-inducing role as Jacob Black in the sequel, which would be the biggest news ever.)

But I had to say something about Robert Pattinson’s recent remark to OK! magazine about why he’s not looking forward to filming the franchise’s next installment, New Moon. Pattinson claimed that his lifeless-in-a-bad-way performance as hottie vampire Edward Cullen was marred because of..contact lenses.

“Wearing coloured contact lenses… It was like I constantly had sand in my eyes. I was wearing them for three months constantly and my eyes never ever accepted them! It took me 20 minutes per eye every single day and I ended up having to literally fold it into my eyeball.”

And the star believes the dreaded lenses may inhibit his acting skills – because he couldn’t properly portray his character’s emotions due to the “two orange blobs” in his eyes.

He adds, “It was frustrating as well because normally your eyes are saying something, but if you’ve got two orange blobs in your face it’s so annoying!

“The director (Catherine Hardwicke) would say, ‘Look at her (Kristen Stewart) like you love her,’ and I’d be like, ‘I’m trying!’”

Oh Robert, that explains everything. Now what’s the rest of the cast’s excuse?

Twilight fans now have reason to hope that Edward Cullen will be even more perfect the second time around.

Summit Entertainment announced that Catherine Hardwicke, who directed the first big-screen adaptation of the Stephenie Meyer saga to middling-to-awful reviews, won’t be returning to helm New Moon, the second of Meyer’s four sparkling-vampire novels.

In a joint statement, Summit and Hardwicke claimed that New Moon’s targeted winter 2009/spring 2010 release “does not work with Ms. Hardwicke’s required prep time to bring her vision of the film to the big screen.”

I’m sure Twilight’s second-week box-office drop of 62 percent has nothing to do with it.

New Moon, new chance to make the vampires not look like this