Are you serious?! Good morning humans, yes, the Capitals lost last night.

I’m not big on sports, so this loss means about as much to me as the empty water bottles stacking up in my car. But the crowd at Union Pub last night was visibly depressed, as were some of my Twitter friends. Paul Tenorio tweeted: “Told the Caps lost, D.C. United Coach Curt Onalfo: ‘They lost?! Are you serious?! Are you serious?!”

This day in 1974, President Richard Nixon said he'd release transcripts of 46 taped White House conversations in response to a Watergate trial subpoena. Nixon once said, “I like the job I have, but if I had to live my life over again, I would like to have ended up a sports writer.” Looks like he would’ve been fucked either way.

Guess the Nationals are our only hope now, but who needs sports when T.I. is back?

Life as a student in Georgetown is about to become more of a pain in the ass than it already is–Burleith resident and professional photographer Steven R. Brown has started DrunkenGeorgetownStudents.com. The website, taken down by Brown’s server operator as of last night, is living in a temporary home. Brown intends on posting photographs of “drunken sots” and rowdy students on the website in hopes of curbing noise and late-night debauchery.

In this morning’s 12:25 a.m. post, Brown writes, “The hole keeps getting deeper and the nice part is watching you guys blowing your livers to dig it.”

Can’t even imagine the kind of shit Brown would flip if he lived by James Madison University. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning, my old apartment complex at JMU, Ashby Crossing, would be littered with an array of red solo cups–and really, what’s more entertaining than watching drunk couples yelling in the middle of the parking lot at 2 a.m: “Did you sleep with him?!”

In other news, the D.C. Council is currently dealing with a $550 million budget gap–which may mean an income tax increase on the rich, and levies on parking and liquor. Guess the 20-somethings in the District may have to prolong the American baby stage. The tragedy, at least Dave Matthews had something going.

Go out and do something you’ve never done today–hug a dingo or live in a storefront window.

Photo by Augie Schwer. Creative Commons Attribution License.

Wait, you ask: What's Emancipation Day? Today in 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Compensated Emancipation Act, a precursor to the Emancipation Proclamation that freed roughly 3,100 slaves in D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams declared it a D.C. public holiday in 2005. District government offices and public schools are closed. Feds, sorry, you're out of luck.

Emancipation Day falls the day after Tax Day—conveniently, for a couple reasons. One: For those procrastinators out there who filed their taxes at 11:59 p.m. last night and were in desperate need of a drink, you were in luck—D.C. bars can stay open an hour later than usual the day before public holidays. Two: For those incurable procrastinators out there who sometimes need a day or two extra to file their taxes, Emancipation Day has the effect of extending the filing deadline from April 16 to April 17 during years that April 15 falls on a weekend. Next time's 2012, for all of you keeping track.

Tax Day also brought out the protesters in full force, with thousands of Tea Baggers Tea Party activists gathering at Freedom Plaza and in the amphitheater of the apropos Ronald Reagan Building.

District residents are all atwitter about the filming of Top Chef. Foodies can track Gail Simmons, Tom Colicchio, Padma Lakshmi and the cheftestants as they eat and compete their way through D.C. Our own Chris Shott was lucky enough to spot Padma at the Westend Bistro by Eric Ripert.

Nats fans, last year was rough, but take heart: wunderkind Stephen Strasburg lived up to the hype in a crackerjack professional debut with Double-A Harrisburg, fanning eight and allowing one earned run in five innings, and throwing in the 97-98 mph range.

Meanwhile in sports, the top-seeded Caps began their play-off run with a 3-2 loss to the Montreal Canadiens. Poster boy Alex Ovechkin had no shots on goal after leading the NHL in shots during the regular season. For the sake of fans everywhere, Ovie, don't drown your sorrows in vodka at Russia House just yet! 

Lincoln photo courtesy of gop.com. Gail, Tom, and Padma photo courtesy of photos.mlive.com.

The Snyder transaction is not complete without at least one local sports columnist falling for it. Yesterday, WaPo's Michael Wilbon declared McNabb "the best fit" for the Skins. So how is an aging, often-injured quarterback dropping back behind a weak offensive line throwing to weak bunch wide receivers a perfect fit?

Thankfully, WaPo's Mike Wise doesn't drink the Kool-Aid. In today's column, Wise–unlike Wilbon–doesn't have to issue a full-disclosure about his personal friendship with the aging QB. He just rips the Redskins for this ridiculous move.

Wise writes:

"But before everyone congratulates the new brain trust for essentially doing what the old brain trust did — procuring some other town's star instead of developing its own — answer two questions:

Does anyone believe the Washington Redskins are poised to win the Super Bowl next season? What about 2012?

No and no.

If you agree with that assessment and do not live in denial or Ashburn, any well-argued case for acquiring McNabb just went out the window.

Offseason champions again? Of course. That's how we roll here."

Exactly.

What does this all mean? It means the Redskins are still the biggest team in town. It means no one will be talking about the Nats' 11-1 Opening Day loss to the Phillies. We will be talking about McNabb for the rest of the year.

Sometime around 8, Tai Shan entered a FedEx container and headed out to Dulles. I hope he took 123 to the Toll Road, rather than stay on 66, which is a killer! He will be flying back to China as part of a deal under which they sell us cheap power tools for the foreseeable future, accompanied by his redneck cousin Mei Lan, who is returning from Zoo Atlanta (sadness). Mei Lan will bore Tai Shan to tears on the way over, talking about how much better Atlanta's weather is than D.C.'s and why Drivin' N Cryin' never got their due.

WE ARE AT WAR: Against the word "retarded." But who will compensate the people of Boston for the loss of a sixth of their vocabulary?

WHAT CITIES HAVE I NOT INSULTED YET? Let's go to Haiti, where members of a Meridian, Idaho, church that believes "Children are to honor and obey their parents" has hit a sporting patch! The church calls the folks "falsely arrested"; I suspect the folks down there are confronting reality for perhaps the first time in a while.

TOYOTA IN FREEFALL! If you bought Ford stock last year (full disclosure: I did!), you're accelerating all the way to the bank! I have a complaint about my '03 Toyota Matrix–the light bulb under the heater controls blew out almost immediately, and every time I've asked about getting it replaced, the dealership has told me it'll cost me way too much to pop off the dashboard. WHY ISN'T THE MEDIA REPORTING THIS?

HEY FOOD FANS: Don't miss Robert Sietsema's CJR piece from yesterday about the history of New York food criticism.

PORTIS SAYS HE'S READY TO PLAY. Should be some fun times in that locker room!

ALSO MAYBE THE NATS WON'T HAVE A WINNING SEASON. But numbers cannot account for the magic of Tony Plush. I think the playoffs are a certainty.

WHAT WILL WE CALL THE STORM ON TWITTER? How about, "Hey, get back to work!"

THAT'S ALL! AVOID VEGETATIVE STATES! EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT AN "ASPIRIN HO" IS IF YOU FIND A SEC! DON'T SEND ANYTHING FEDEX IF YOU DON'T WANT IT TO SMELL LIKE PANDA SWEAT!

After the jump: My favorite Post blog, old music. reality Realty, our parent company may need a CEO

I've beat this drum way too much, but I love Post Mortem, the Post's obituary blog, for precisely this reason.

Allow me to geeze: Twenty-five years ago, a spate of classic albums came out of Minneapolis—Purple Rain, Let It Be, and (thank you, Athitakis)  Zen Arcade. "Was it something in the water?" people will ask. More likely,  it was just a coincidence, and we don't remember all the crappy albums that came out of Minneapolis in 1984. I will write a paper on this and submit it to the EMP.

Nats lose.

Finally, for anyone who's been following the sorry tale of our parent company's bankruptcy, new stuff yesterday, very little of which I understand. Especially the part about the CEO maybe stepping down temporarily to concentrate on the equity auction that will determine who owns our company. Isn't concentrating on stuff like that what CEOs do?

• Dan Froomkin canned! Intensely weird Bush-hating shut-ins mount campaign of angry comments on blogs read only by other intensely weird Bush-hating shut-ins. A neocon powerplay, or the political-commentary EQ of JazzTimes folding?

• Why I Hate D.C. has been on a streak lately. First a post on it that noticed the resemblance between a Tyson's ad and the Vietnam Memorial riled up vets groups and occasioned a PR rescue mission. Now author Dave goes Montecore on the Washington Suburban Sanitary Commission for hiring WASA GM Jerry Johnson. "WSSC doesn't even acknowledge that there is anything controversial about their selection, instead citing that they have a close working relationship with Johnson because WASA treats WSSC's sewage," writes Dave. "With this hiring decision, isn't it now the other way around?"

• TheWashCycle NAILS Loudoun County for using bike-trail funds to extend a road to the AOL campus instead. This could be really bad for AOL's subscription numbers!

• Nats crush Yankees! And Manny Acta still employed! Unlike Dan Froomkin! Life is funny that way.

• In defense of flutists.

• Finally, a touching look at the too-short life of Clark Sabine.

Photo by Flickr user Bohman

Today, the Nats lost more than just a game (the team got blanked 7-0 vs. the Mets), the Nats also lost use of its pyrotechnics. D.C. Fire Chief Dennis Rubin put at least a temporary end to the stadium's fireworks displays. Rubin attended today's game, and after a fireworks display for the National Anthem ordered them to be stopped. Why?

Fireworks debris had fallen on the fire chief. According to a source familiar with the dustup, the chief then got super testy—at one point, invoking his fancy fire chief title.

Fire Department spokesperson Alan Etter confirmed the basic account via e-mail.

"[Rubin] said debris did fall on him – he was not hurt," Etter wrote. "He did have a safety concern, that's why the decision was made – so the process can be examined and adjusted, if necessary."

The firework company had been launching its pyrotechnics since the Nats called RFK home. The company's work had been vetted repeatedly. We're awaiting comment from the firework company. There's much more to this story.

Update 7:35 p.m.: According to a source, Rubin was hit with paper debris.

According to a fire department document obtained by City Desk, the fireworks company had a permit for its work at the Nats stadium. There are also clear lines of responsibility regarding fireworks safety. It appears that Chief Rubin overruled one of his own firemen when he shutdown the fireworks.

The document states that department "provides site safety for the pyrotechnics shot at the Nationals Ballpark on game days. The shoot is from the rooftop.... The shoot consists of multiple shots (National Anthem, team-on-field, and any home run/victory)."

The document goes on to state:

"It is the responsibility of the [fire department] inspector to communicate with the operator any observed risks or deficiencies and take the necessary actions to prevent injuries or damage. It is also the responsibility of the inspector communicate with the Nationals Command any observed risks or events that could lead to injury or damage."

Rubin would have had to overrule his own on-scene fire inspector to halt the fireworks displays.

"I know there's something going on. The fire inspector, it wasn't his call. The actual fire inspector on duty. I know it wasn't his call. It was 100 percent Chief Rubin's call and he was just there for the game. He wasn't there for official business," says a source familiar with today's events. The source says the fireworks were completely safe; there had been no complaints until today.

Fluttering-post-launch-paper debris, the source contended, was normal.

Rubin was not exactly diplomatic when he argued for the fireworks to be shutdown. According to the source, Rubin at one point told authorities: "Do you know who I am?"

*photo by Darrow Montgomery.

On Saturday, Colbert King stepped away from the juvenile crime beat to write about Fenty's ego. King thinks the mayor isn't so invincible. Why? The mayor's hubris may trip him up. King writes:

"The mayor out and about in the District of Columbia is not the candidate who captured all 142 precincts in the 2006 Democratic mayoral primary. There's a different man in office today. People seem to know it....

He's still quick with the smile and handshake, still good with names, still works the crowds, and makes all the photo ops. No D.C. government good deed gets announced without his presence.

But nowadays, something else comes with him when he shows up on the scene. There is a certain haughtiness in Fenty's bearing, a trace of scorn in his demeanor, a sense of self-importance that was not present (or at least was not noticeable) in him before."

Meanwhile, there were lesser crimes uncovered. I went to my first Nationals game of the season. When friends tried to buy the $10 tickets, they were told that they were all sold out. When we got inside the stadium—with the $20 tix—we couldn't help but notice plenty of empty seats in the 10-buck section. Conspiracy!

And then Maureen Dowd offered a very laughable excuse for plagiarizing TPM's Josh Marshall in her column.

Speaking of pools, I continue to hear from people in the community about the strange axing of Clark Ray, the guy who ran the city's Department of Parks and Recreation, until he was unceremoniously fired by the Fenty regime. A couple of parks-oriented community types over the past several days have bent my ear, saying, hey, here was a guy who was actually working hard, trying to make things happen—and then comes the hook.

However, if you look at City Desk from late last week, our amazing Loose Lips columnist Mike DeBonis reports of mass firings at the rec department. Could this be what forced the reckoning—that Ray refused to clean house the way that Dan Tan and others were insisting? A possibility.

Elsewhere, you gotta credit WaPo reporter Allison Klein for this piece, about how the Pentagon's maze of inroads, off-roads, and access roads constitute a trap of sorts for drunk drivers. Never driven drunk there, but I have felt as helpless as a drunk trying to get out of there on one or two occasions, both following trips to Costco.

On the media front: How many more columns is Andy Alexander going to write on the corrections problem at the Washington Post before taking someone to task for it? I mean, who deserves the blame for letting the backlog of uncorrected stuff get so big?

Also on the media front: Commenters are going wild on the Washington City Paper's piece on Foreign Policy magazine. What a community we're building.

Have no idea how the Redskins made out in the draft. How no idea how the Eagles made out in the draft. How no idea how the Giants or the Cowboys made out in the draft. In the coming days, fans and commentators will be delivering grades to all these draft performances, and all of it is useless. You're better off reading about Foreign Policy magazine, in fact. Because even though we can organize information like no one's biz, we can beam updates everywhere, aggregate all kinds of shit, and ping to our heats' content, but one thing we'll never be able to master is how well a college football player will perform in the NFL. Never.

Colbert I. King: Slamming the D.C. Council, among others, for their pettiness regarding baseball tix. Points well taken.

And some pricey vandalism took place Saturday around Logan Circle.

I still can't find any Nats-related radio or non-cable TV coverage around here.

But Saturday's national broadcast ABC's evening news took time away from reporting on the Obama/Chavez soul shake/thumb war and the heroification of those poor bozos who got pirated by teenage Somalian druggies for some real man-bites-dog material: a segment on the misspellings on the home jerseys of Ryan Zimmerman and Adam Dunn.

The usual suspects on the local scene were already all over VowelGate.

But only in a special season — the sort of season where 3-run 9th inning leads are blown twice in a weekend – would the mainstream network folks notice this sorta stuff.

This, friends, is going to be a special season.

Yesterday, the Washington Post printed some very obvious news to anyone who's been on South Cap. Street in the past year: Nationals Park hasn't sparked much revitalizing in Southwest. The city spent $1 billion in infrastructure upgrades and developers have made huge holes in the ground and left a lot of buildings still vacant.

As the article states, District residents weren't just sold a new stadium paid for with public dollars. No. As an old story noted, they were sold the "Stadium District"–a full-service community of new retail and new museums and new parks. The city hasn't come close to a Stadium District. Last week, Fisher wrote about the missing neighborhood as well.

What spilled forth in Sunday's A1 article was a lot of excuse making on the part of city officials and developers.

My favorite:

"It just so happens that implementation is occurring during the worst economic downturn in recent history. So things are going to struggle a little bit," said Neil O. Albert, the District's deputy mayor for economic development.

Really? This effort had been planned for years–long before the recession and banking collapse. The reasons Nationals Park hasn't revitalized the neighborhood are too numerous. But let me try.

*The city took too long fighting and underestimating the old tenants they had to boot to make way for the stadium. There is still a lot of concern over stadium funding and revenue from the games. Councilmember David Catania has said that the city's financial wiz Natwar Gandhi has been basically wrong on everything concerning stadium-related money. As LL reported (in the above link):

"Catania says he has no faith in the latest ballpark numbers—an attitude, he says, informed by history. 'Tell me one thing [Gandhi]’s been right on,' he says. 'He’s been wrong on attendance, wrong on revenue, wrong on environmental remediation, wrong on land.'"

*The city and the Nationals spent most of last season fussing with vendors. So while there were plenty of vacant spaces, vendors fought the city and the team over where they can set up shop and how many could set up shop. This fight dragged on and on and only ended up hurting the one group of people who seemed ready and willing to set up shop near the ballpark. The vendor fight went all the way to D.C. Superior Court.

*The stadium's construction hurt a lot of older tenants when it came to higher property taxes, etc. While new buildings went up without tenants, the old ones got squeezed. One new apartment building wasted a lot of goodwill over a battle with its tenants. The fight was over parking spaces in its garage.

*In March 2007, the Lerners completed construction on a building at 20 M Street SE. After two years, they only have one tenant. Long before the economy collapsed, they couldn't fill their own building.

*The Lerners are trying to make Peter Angelos look good. The Nats owners wasted their first season in the new ballpark refusing to pay rent on the ugly thing. Meanwhile, they fielded a crummy team. At a time when people were just starting to talk about this season, the Nats GM Jim Bowden resigned over allegations of skimming from contract bonus of Latin American players.

*Even the Post's critic hated the stadium's look.

*Nationals Park made history as one of the worst attended new stadiums ever.

*The Lerners and private companies built way too many parking lots.

*The city depended on private developers to pay for other projects. When the private development started failing, projects got stalled.

*Last year, I wrote a silly little blog item wondering about how housing prices could be so high just because the homes were located near Nationals Park. I noted that the surrounding area hadn't quite developed:

"The neighborhood surrounding the ballpark hasn’t changed all that much. It’s still mechanic shops and liquor stores. Aside from the ballpark, the new amenities include a Subway sandwich shop, a Starbucks, and a Five Guys. Those things are all great. Who doesn’t want to eat fresh? Who doesn’t like a super strong cup of coffee? Who can’t resist a juicy burger? But still–$579,000 for a town house?"

I was hammered by Matthew Yglesias for being short-sighted. Looks like I turned out to be right. A Five Guys and a Starbucks still doesn't mean economic development. And a future of skyline of yuppie Lofts is not happening in the near future. What scares me is supposed liberals like Yglesias and neighborhood boosters like JDland are really pining for those Lofts.

JDLand has a personal stake in the revitalization of the neighborhood. It drives traffic to her blog. It makes her feel better. Whatever. JDLand's blog is practically an ad for these new Loft and premo apartment towers. I wonder if she's ever noted the displacement of all those low-income tenants from Arthur Capper? I wonder if she cares what happens to the residents of James Creek who live directly across from the stadium?

So far the discussion concerning the ballpark is all about: when are those lofts coming, when will they be filled with tenants? I hope the discussion turns into a broader one that includes not just the new tenants but the displaced tenants as well. And all the ones that feel left behind to deal with all those empty lots.

*photo by Darrow Montgomery.

New Columbia Heights reports that a new coffee shop has opened at 786 Harvard. It also sells hot tea and cheap sandwiches. Prince of Petworth recently spotted a new coffee shop on Georgia Avenue. The shop is called Fresh Off The Roast.

And Now, Anacostia declares that DHCD is finally moving to Anacostia Gateway: "You may have noticed all the work being done on the interior of Anacostia Gateway recently: walls are up, cubicles are in, and bright accent walls are painted. Even though their entrance is coming six months later than originally planned, the Department of Housing and Community Development will finally move into their space next weekend, and will be open for business on the morning of February 2."

Bloomingdale (for now) reports on the scuttlebutt over a complaint filed against an ANC Commissioner. The complaint stems from the commissioner publishing a newsletter. It's a must read (and too complicated to go into here).

River East Idealist writes perhaps the only inauguration-themed post that targets panhandling. He She watches a panhandler in Dupont Circle before attending a ball:

"Over a span of 30 minutes, he managed to collect a nice sum of cash.  The problem is that he never got on a train.  Finally, after discrete inspection of his eyes, lips, and twittering arms, I concluded that the young man was a junkie in training.  At first, I was angry. I was angry with him for ruining this glorious night. Then, I was angry that he was such a horrible representative of African American males on a day where African American's seemed to be vindicated from centuries of negative stereotypes. I was angry that he was using drugs.  Most of all, I was angry that there was nothing I could do to help him"

On a side note, some of the best inauguration photos I've seen have come from Prince of Petworth's photo contest. (Our own contest's winner will be announced soon). You can see more of the blog's entries here and here.

JDLand runs down the many changes coming to the Nats Stadium. No word yet on the Nats acquiring a few decent pitchers or a star slugger.

Penn Quarter Living spots some portable toilets being removed during a recent rush hour. But these are not the toilets from the Mall.

Intangible Arts reports that districtofnoise.org has launched for all you local experimental music geeks: "The site is a group effort from the local experimental music culture, and pulls together gig listings from across the scene. It's a one-stop-shopping deal, which includes Sonic Circuits, Electric Possible, Lighthouse, Velvet Lounge, and other events as they arise. All mashed together in a gory digital hellhole for you to enjoy." You can check out the noise site. Meanwhile our own music blog has the rundown on the latest leaked songs.