One word: Oprah! The "queen of daytime television" will announce today she's ending her show in 2011. This is huge! Now, in case you're a little slow, let me connect the dots and tell you what's really going on here. Just this week, Sarah Palin goes on Oprah to plug her book Going Rogue even while insisting that 2012 is "not on my radar screen right now," which is what all candidates for president have to say in 2009. Oprah is all charming, as usual, and gets her biggest audience in two years! Then, just a few days later, Oprah announces that she will be leaving her show after 25 years to "start her own cable channel." Coincidence? This could really only mean one thing: Palin-Winfrey 2012! You heard it here first.

I'm sure there are skeptics out there. Yeah, Oprah endorsed Barack Obama during last year's campaign. But whatever. Remember how she didn't go out and stump for him, except, like, once? It's obvious now that this is because she is a secret political admirer of Sarah Palin. And Michelle Obama knows it (see picture).

Also, put yourself in Palin's place. Who else would you pick to be your vice presidential running mate? John McCain? He's too old, and he obviously held her back last time. Mitt Romney? Not until he changes his hair, and that doesn't seem imminent. I suppose Todd, the ex-First Dude, is a possibility. Sarah does say in her book that "God and Todd" got her where she is today, and it's not like she can put God on the ticket. Anyway, Oprah makes total sense.

In other news, NASA has confirmed that the world is not ending, at least not on Dec. 21, 2012.

Just in time for Thanksgiving, there is a shortage of canned pumpkin.

Two-thirds of American Santas are fat—and they want a swine flu shot.

Happy Friday! And catch up with me on Twitter!

Photo by woohoo120, Creative Commons Attribution License

After a neighborhood blog pictured the mural of "Boxer Girl," a black woman clad in workout attire with her hands raised in boxer's gloves and sporting a black eye, at least one commenter expressed dislike for it by dubbing it "ghetto" - thus setting off a long (and unresolved) debate over the mural's artistic merits, what, exactly, it said about the neighborhood, and, now, the use of that descriptor.

Lynda Laughlin, a family demographer at the U.S. Census Bureau and resident of Petworth, weighed in at GGW, drawing heavily from the thinking of University of Chicago sociology professor Mario Small, who has argued that the term be abandoned, at least as a concept used in talking about black urban poverty.

Laughlin wrote:

The term "ghetto" has become such a common term in everyday language, it is hard to determine what we really mean when use the term. Even urban scholars are guilty of overusing and under-defining the term "ghetto." Many scholars use the term "ghetto" to describe a geographic area, such as a neighborhood or census tract that is characterized as having a high concentration of households in poverty as well as a high concentration of blacks, or any other racial/ethnic minority group. General public use of the term "ghetto" tends to assume such areas characterized by crime, slackers, Chinese take-out restaurants, store front churches, poverty, and racial/ethnic minorities. Unfortunately, for many individuals, their image of a "ghetto" is less from actual experience but influenced by the popular media.

... Clearly, we need a more sophisticated approach to how we classify the social and economic conditions of urban neighborhoods; one that does not demoralize a community and its residents. The current use of the term "ghetto" glosses over the real issues facing urban communities and allows individuals to hide behind racist and classist assumptions instead of engaging in productive conversations and actions. More importantly, it is on us to change or abandon the term "ghetto" because the cultural and ideological construction of the term has often shaped public policy. Stereotypes and sweeping generalizations should not be the basis for reform. The problems we face in urban America are complex and should be treated as such.

The Webster's New World College Dictionary defines "ghetto" as such: 1. in certain European cities, a section to which Jews were formerly restricted 2. any section of a city in which many members of some minority group live, or to which they are restricted as by economic pressure or social discrimination.

But the Urban Dictionary, a dictionary of slang written by its online users, offers several adjectival meanings as well. Among them: 1. urban; of or relating to (inner) city life 2. poor; of or relating to the poor life 3. jury-rigged, improvised, or home-made (usually with extremely cheap or sub-standard components), yet still deserving of an odd sense of respect from ghetto dwellers and non-ghetto dwellers alike (used in a sentence: "A TV Guide duct-taped to a 4 foot stick?! That's one hella ghetto 'mote control!").

The term, as noun and adjective, has come to be used in many ways and contexts: Frederick L. McKissack wrote an article in the Progressive in 1998 about the "cyberghetto," describing the technology gap that has left far fewer minorities with access to the Internet than their white counterparts. Albums by the former Master P include The Ghettos Tryin to Kill Me, Ghetto D, Ghetto Postage, and Ghetto Bill.

Recently, Belva Davis, blogging in the San Francisco Chronicle, recounted the controversy over the word's use in a June New York magazine story on the Obamas' decision to vacation in Martha's Vineyard, long a favorite spot for the black elite. One anonymous long-time islander was quoted as questioning Michelle Obama's place there, "calling her a 'ghetto girl,' one who did not belong in the august company of the regulars," Davis wrote.

But there was more: Davis' friend, Abigail McGrath, also a Vineyard resident, designed a T-shirt listing the names of a few dozen well-known women, from Rosa Parks and Sally Hemmings to Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Oprah Winfrey, that declares: "GHETTO GIRLS ROCK. Life's not about where you're from; it's where you're going." It's supposedly on sale on the Vineyard now.

Writing a few years back at theblackcommentator.com, Harold M. Clemens called "ghetto" the "new N-word." "What does it mean to act 'suburban,' if acting 'ghetto' means unruly?" he asked.

He blogs at ghettouprising.

Did anybody tell Abe Pollin?

***

Lebron's come and gone. But we only have to wait a week for the next celeb sports doc extravaganza: Luis Tiant will be at the E Street Cinema downtown on June 22 for red-carpet screening of "The Lost Son of Havana," a film about the ex-Indian- Twin-Red Sock-Yankee-Pirate-Angel's trip back to the Cuban capital, which is his Akron.

After the screening the movie's producers will throw a bash across the street from the theater at the ESPN Zone. But don't expect much. In the invitation the party's organizers just sent out, they're promising that: "Light refreshments will be served in accordance with House Ethics rules."

House ethics used to lead to the wildest parties in town. Jack Abramoff mussed up everything.

***

Sign of the times or the Times? Despite a big write-up in Sunday's Washington Times, the Hoop Dreams Scholarship fund had to cancel its next big fundraising event for lack of interest.

Hoop Dreams has been a powerhouse on the DC charity and social scene for more than a decade. The organization was started in 1996 by former H.D. Woodson teacher and sleepless superhero Susie Kay, who began holding an annual outdoor basketball tournament to help her students get money for college.

Her cause took off, and before long, Kay, backed by Ted Leonsis, Ari Fleischer and scads of local pro athletes and federal lawmakers (including John McCain and Barack Obama), was divvying out grants to kids from schools all over the city. (Leonsis threw more than checks at the group, serving for years as a mentor to Kay's kids.)

The organization now claims to have funded continuing education for more than 1,000 DC students.

The plan was to celebrate that milestone on June 25, with a soiree at the Historical Society of Washington, DC, called "1,000 Strong."

But this morning Hoop Dreams sent out a brief, terse announcement that the event was canceled "due to lack of ticket sales."

"For the few people who purchased tickets online you will receive a full refund," read the cancellation notice.

Hoop Dreams' cause remains righteous. This party might be canceled, but the party can't be over for this bunch.

Other hoops-related charities are claiming big doings around here: The group Nothing But Nets, also known for raising funds through basketball tournaments, is holding a series of local events this week with the Mystics, DC United, the Bayhawks and Michelle Obama and Jack Evans, and says it will use the proceeds to send 10,000 malaria nets to various refugee camps in Africa.

***

Good golly, did David Letterman look like a coward and a buffoon last night, caving in and bumbling through a fake apology for his lazy line about Sarah Palin's daughter getting "knocked up" by Alex Rodriguez.

Yeah, talk about an athlete impregnating a Palin daughter really isn't fit for a late-night monologue. It's ok to use that material in a campaign press release, however.

Guess it's all been said. But let's take another look at Palin with her daughters at the Flyers game during the campaign, one of many appearances at sporting events where she's used her kids as human shields.

What network fool told Letterman to crater?

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Our most recent snark on Brown came when she rode along with First Lady Michelle Obama on an outing to a soup kitchen for the homeless.

Brown wrote up the event for the post's 44 blog, and here's how we handicapped it:

* Here’s Brown writing her own Brown parody sentence (all italics mine):

And Obama dished risotto, one by one. Offering steamed, fresh broccoli.

* There is apropos-of-nothing color:

Man in green sweater: “You really are tall.”

“I am tall,” Obama said.

* And, finally, complete kerblooey:

And the guests stood behind in the hope that she left behind.

We don't know for sure right now, but that last line, unparalleled in its preciousness and bullshitiness, could have prompted the newspaper's management to make the move announced in the memo below: DeNeen is off the First Lady beat:

We're pleased to announce that Robin Givhan will be returning to Washington soon to cover Michelle Obama and the first family. Robin has long been one of our most graceful and insightful writers, not only on fashion designers but on politicians as well. She won the Pulitzer Prize for criticism in 2006, in part for her work on the public image of powerful people. Now, she'll bring that sharp eye to bear on the cultural and social issues that swirl around the new occupants of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., picking up on the good work begun by DeNeen Brown, who has been our go-to person for several months on the story of the new first lady. Robin will also continue to write about fashion through her Sunday column. DeNeen will focus her attention to stories about people "on the edge" -- the poor, the uneducated, the disenfranchised; and Race in the age of Obama -- looking at how racial mindsets, definitions, are changing.

Raju Narisetti Steve Reiss

• Here's Brown writing her own Brown parody sentence (all italics mine):

And Obama dished risotto, one by one. Offering steamed, fresh broccoli.

• There is apropos-of-nothing color:

Man in green sweater: "You really are tall."

"I am tall," Obama said.

• And, finally, complete kerblooey:

And the guests stood behind in the hope that she left behind.

For all intents, former City Paper editor Howard Witt put Ty'sheoma Bethea in the presidential box next to Michelle Obama for last night's unauthorized State of the Union address.

Witt met Bethea while reporting on the schools in Dillon, S.C. His discussions with the youngster, who attends a rundown middle school that Barack Obama had visited twice before taking over as president, resulted in the kid writing a letter to federal lawmakers.

The school's principal asked Witt how to get the missive to the right folks up here in Power Town, and Witt helped out and wrote about Bethea's letter in the Tribune.

Via e-mail, Witt, who left City Paper for the Tribune in 2001, says that he's not sure if the White House found out about Bethea from her letter or from his piece on the letter.

"But either way, the letter would not have existed if I hadn't visited that classroom," Witt tells me.

Boastful? For sure. But Witt's got an amazing track record in these matters.

Whatever the guy writes about becomes a national cause celebre.

Whoever he writes about becomes a star.

He's the Walter Winchell of race reporting.

So if you see Witt coming at you with his notebook, chances are you need a lawyer or an agent---or both.

You can look it up:

• In May 2007, Witt broke the Jena 6 story in the Chicago Tribune, where he's head of the paper's Southwestern bureau. Next thing you know, busloads of college kids are flocking to the Louisiana town crying injustice.
• Two months earlier, Witt broke the story of Shaquanda Cotton, a black Paris, Texas, 14-year-old who was sentenced to up to seven years in a juvenile detention center for allegedly shoving a white school employee. Witt’s report drew national attention to the case, and, not coincidentally, Cotton was released by from the state facility shortly thereafter.
• And a month after his Jena 6 tales caught fire, Witt's race copy went viral all over again with a report on Channon Christianand Christopher Newsom, a white Knoxville couple allegedly kidnapped and murdered by four blacks.

Who's next?

*U Street Girl comments on the fight at Cardozo High, in which 16 students were arrested, 15 injured, and 5 hospitalized after a cafeteria fight between several girls.

*district, schmistrict complains that (a) D.C. has no "townie" bars; (b) Baltimore has real taverns; (c) "fluffy companion dogs" are nice! but unattainable.

*Vox Populi's Lillian Kaiser writes a darling headline.

*Capitol Hill Style offers tips for purchasing V-Day flowers. The take-home? Hew to cultural convention:

Don’t Send the Wrong Message! Every flower in the garden has an assigned meaning. Red tulips are a declaration of undying passion. Daffodils are a symbol of unrequited love.

There’s a flower for any message you could want to send, and since women are notorious for reading too much into things, now would not be the time to choose haphazardly.

This means no yellow roses (”I just want to be friends,” or worse, infidelity). No yellow carnations (disdain and rejection). No hyacinth (jealousy) and no snapdragons (deception). Good rule of thumb: no yellow and no carnations.

*John Dickerson reports on Michelle Obama's trip to Adams Morgan, during which the First Lady addressed a gaggle of kids at Mary's Center:

"My name is Michelle, and I'm married to the president of the United States. Do you know his name?"

"Barack Obama," said a 5-year-old girl named Anise, who became the star of the show. She also knew the Obama daughters' names and several other pieces of information. (She was silent, however, on the stimulus bill.)

Seriously, Georgia Brown's?

Dunno if that was your idea, Mr. Mayor, or yours, Mrs. First Lady, but you both need some better culinary counsel. I mean, how much more Clintonian can you get?

LL thought this was a new day for America!

UPDATE, 4:45 P.M.: Apparently GB's was the Fentys' idea. Jill Biden---ahem, Dr. Jill Biden---was there, too.

Clifford Pugh, a colleague from my old Houston days, writes in his Cliff Notes blog today that Michelle Obama's glittery, eye-catching gold dress was designed by Isabel Toledo, a Cuban-born American designer who once tried to inject a more modern style at Anne Klein, where the designer used to work.

"Her choice continues a penchant for the First Lady-to-be for designers of Cuban heritage," Pugh writes prior to Barack Obama's swearing in. "Michelle Obama wore two outfits by Narciso Rodriguez to the pre-inaugural events on Sunday."

Shall we go ahead and read too much into these design choices? Why the hell not? I see warmer relations with Cuba in the immediate future.

Image by Flickr user davitydave

The mention came in response to a question directed at Michelle Obama by Steve Kroft about how she would conduct herself as first lady. He followed up with a question about whether the Obamas were "seriously" considering a public school for their girls Sasha and Malia. Michelle Obama punted on that one.

Here's what she had to say:

The primary focus for the first year will be making sure the kids make it through the transition. But there are many issues that I care deeply about. I care about military families and the work-family balance issue. I care about education. Both Barack and I believe that we can have an impact in the D.C. area...you know, in terms of making sure we're contributing to the community that we immediately live in. That's always been something that we try to do, whether its in our own neighborhoods, or in the schools that we've attended. So there's plenty to do.

[Kroft] Did you seriously consider sending the girls to public school?

You know, we're still in the process of figuring out that transition and what we have asked people to understand is that the decision that we make will be based on the best interests of the girls. We haven't made that decision yet. We want that to be a personal process, and people have been really good about respecting that.

* It's not just for Republicans anymore! Michelle Obama wears fabulous, egregiously expensive jewelry, too. [via Wonkette].

* DCist Sommer Mathis cries foul on $9.95 plus shipping for a newspaper (don't even get her started on the special election issue sweatshirt). Commemorative hand towels of DCist's official declaration of election newsprint hype blog post coming soon.

* Prince of Petworth is two years old. Join him and other crown princes of the local blogosphere tonight at Wonderland to celebrate the milestone---and toast to 730 more doors of the day.

* New Columbia Heights deems the new neighborhood Panda Express . . . decent!

* Catch up with the Good Guys strip club arson case as it happens with trial updates over at the Sexist.

* And in this newspaper: The Education Issue!

- Marina Koestler Ruben on D.C.'s English-Chinese bilingual charter.

- Dave McKenna on the end of a local football dynasty.

- Mike DeBonis on Michelle Rhee's rising star.

- Ruth Samuelson schools Obama hangers-on on where to reside in the District.

Photo by Army.mil