Such antipathy makes no sense. Concentrating marijuana production (and even sales, although that's not what these applications are for) in Ward 5 would be a boon to the area, not a blight—they're employment centers, after all, that will pour capital back into the communities they inhabit. Cannabis greenhouses would celebrate and compliment the presence of the neighboring National Arboretum. They're heavily regulated enough that any leakage of product to people who shouldn't have it would get them shut down in a jiffy.

Furthermore, there's no evidence that marijuana operations increase crime—in fact, experience points the other way. The Denver police department foundthat pot dispensaries aren't robbed any more than banks or liquor stores. And last year, when Los Angeles abruptly closed 70 percent of the 638 dispensaries operating in the city, the RAND Corporation reported an increase in crime over the ten days following the crackdown. "Despite its plausibility, we know of no systemic evaluation of the claim that dispensaries themselves attract or cause crime," the authors wrote.

Sure, logically, the signs point to pot dispensaries being a good thing in neighborhoods. But decades of pot-is-a-gateway-drug training are hard to undo. And for longstanding black residents who saw drugs destroy communities, it's not a surprise that they're less willing to draw a distinction between pot and other drugs.

Besides, the pillars of Ward 5, like those in every other ward, often don't want anything new, be it a pizza joint or a pot disepensary. Like NIMBYs everywhere, they fear traffic, noise, new people walking around. And in the case of a dispensary, they have this extra armament to fight against the proposal by demonizing drugs.

While I agree with Lydia, I'm not surprised at all that people reflexively don't want weed, legally or illegally, being sold in their backyards.

Photo from flickr user erissiva under a Creative Commons attribution license.

SmarTrip Getting Smarter?: It wasn't so long ago that the only way to pay for a Metro ride was to buy a paper farecard, and the only way to pay for a single bus trip was to shove your coins into the farebox on board. But even though Metro only recently upgraded its payment options with things like online refills of a SmarTrip card, officials are now looking at what kind of long-term changes they might make to the fare setup. Options included new integrated monthly passes, zoned fares, and a flat fare for the entire subway system. No sign that they'll be bringing back tokens, though. +1

Next Stop, Seoul: Speaking of Metro, some people going to the agency's website today to look up information about payment systems may have been a bit confused. Due to a mysterious glitch, it defaulted to Korean for several hours this morning. The usual English version of the site was available, but you had to look for it; the Korean version, meanwhile, is now back at its normal home, ko.wmata.com. As they say in Korean, "dadneun mun." -1

More Pot Papers Pending: Anyone who hasn't come up with a Halloween costume yet now has another option—go as a District-licensed medical marijuana vendor! The city will accept applications for licenses for the five legal pot dispensaries until Oct. 31. Officials already pre-approved about 60 applicants last month. The District will also license 10 cultivation centers, also known as "pot farms." +3

Rain, Rain, Go Away: When it pours here, there's a decent chance the resulting inundation will flood the city's combined sewer system, mixing waste with runoff and generally making things bad for the Potomac and Anacostia rivers and the Chesapeake, into which they drain. D.C. Water is hoping to change that—with a massive, $2.6 billion tunnel project set to open in 2018. Ground broke on the work today. How will it be paid for, you ask? See your next (more expensive) water bill for the answer. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 62 Today's score: +4 Today's Needle rating: 66

You Put Your Weed Application In There: Selling medical marijuana in the District will be risky; applicants have to sign a waiver that seems all but designed to be used as an exhibit by the U.S. Attorney in a future federal narcotics case, after all. But that didn't deter everyone—city officials allowed more than 50 groups to pursue the 15 available licenses. At least a dozen people dropped out, but Montel Williams' colleagues are still in the running. +2

It's All At The Mall: Anyone complaining that tourists take all the Capital BikeShare bikes and/or parking spots before you can get to them, get ready for the real gripes. The National Park Service plans to allow BikeShare stations on the Mall, as the decades-long Tourmobile monopoly crumbles faster than a dictatorship suddenly confronted by massive street protests live on Al Jazeera. We'll take red bikes over blue trolleys any day. +2

Fully Loaded: The D.C. government has had some tough budget decisions to make recently. Fortunately for the bean-counters, one decision got made for them: The decision to spend $12,450.23 to break the lease on one Lincoln Navigator that D.C. Council Chairman Kwame Brown was shamed out of using, and possibly another $5,200 for another Navigator Brown rejected before anyone knew about his taste in cars, for the completely fiscally responsible reason that the interior was gray. Admittedly, $20,000 or so isn't a lot of money when split among all District taxpayers, but still—raise your hand if you wouldn't like a refund for whatever your share is. -2

Sexy Rexy: Last year, the Washington Redskins finished 6-10, a disappointing record but an improvement over the previous season's 4-12. Coach Mike Shanahan must have decided that was too fun, so he's aiming for 3-13 this year. What other explanation is there for the mysterious choice to install Rex Grossman as the team's starting quarterback? In Grossman's defense, of course, the alternative was John Beck, but what NFL team heads into September facing that Hobson's choice (especially when future Hall of Famer Donovan McNabb got canned in order to set it up)? Good thing there's no relegation in U.S. sports, or FedEx Field might be hosting Arena Football League games next year. -1

Friday's Needle rating: 55 Today's score: +1 Today's Needle rating: 56

Legalize, Or At Least Discount, It: The District's medicinal marijuana program is moving along, albeit not as quickly as some might like. But what about those of us who don't qualify under the strict regulations? Turns out we're overpaying for pot. A study by Floating Sheep published in Wired this month found D.C. pays, on average, $460.70 per ounce of the non-medical stuff—more than anyone in any state. The lowest prices were in Oregon, at $255.80 per ounce. In the area, Maryland paid $436.30, and Virginia $411.90. Somehow we don't suspect Gov. Bob McDonell will be attributing that stat to his allegedly pro-business policies. -2

Bumper For Life: Ward 8 Councilmember Marion Barry has had his fair share of problems with cars, from registering to parking. Now his ride has more existential trouble. Barry drove up to the Wilson Building today with the bumper on his Jaguar hanging off the car. He told reporters he'd been hit a few weeks ago by a stolen car making a quick getaway, and that "when you live in the ghetto, all this happens." At least the car isn't leased by the D.C. government, in which case we'd all be on the hook for the repairs. -1

Power To The People: There's a reason they don't build massive coal-burning power plants in the middle of densely populated neighborhoods anymore. Admittedly, that reason is that the land the power plants might occupy is more valuable as the site of condos and luxury boutiques than as a place to generate electricity. But burning coal isn't the healthiest thing you can do for the people nearby, either, so the news that Alexandria's Mirant facility, operated by GenOn Energy, will close next October is welcome for anyone sick of breathing ash. No word yet on what price the condos that will, inevitably, wind up in the building will fetch. +3

Canned Food Frenzy: Spooked by the earthquake, many Washingtonians decided disaster preparedness was no laughing matter as Hurricane Irene approached, as anyone who made the mistake of setting foot anywhere near a grocery store (or Costco) Friday or Saturday can testify. But since the storm's fury was a little softer than expected, most of the stockpiled food people bought up wasn't needed. No need to binge on sardines or potato chips, though; area food banks say they'll happily accept your non-perishables. +2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 55 Today's score: +2 Today's Needle rating: 57

Medical Montel: Between infomercials for blenders, financial counseling, and security companies, Montel Williams may soon be busy here in the District. The talk show host is part of a group that's applying for one of the medical marijuana licenses up for grabs; he's the public face of a dispensary in Sacramento, Calif., already. (Williams has MS and has been actively supporting laws allowing medical use of pot for a while.) That California outfit is fairly popular—one online reviewer recently called it the Neiman Marcus of Marijuana. No word on whether that means Williams' group will try to set up shop in Mazza Gallerie. +2

No Parking, Seriously: Should your car be stolen in the District, the police may not find it, but the Department of Public Works will. Just ask Brandon Bray, whose car was stolen, then left for six weeks in a tow-away zone in front of a school, where it accumulated $300 in parking tickets, some of which were there so long that they melted to the windshield. He now has the car back, and won't have to pay the fines. Guess that "tow-away" thing doesn't mean much, though. -1

Knock First: Metropolitan Police Department officers were very eager to get inside a home a few years ago, after someone stopped for a traffic violation told them her son, who dropped a gun as he ran from the stop, lived at that address. The only problem? He didn't. Police spent 45 minutes with a battering ram, drill, and crow bar breaking into the home, doing more than $10,000 in damage to the door and the interior walls—then refused to pay for it, because they had a warrant. Never mind that the information that led to the warrant was erroneous. Eventually, the homeowner sued, and five months after they first complained, got paid back for the repairs they did. Still, let that be a lesson: Don't live in a house the cops might want to bust into. -2

Ni Hao Saxa: Vice President Joe Biden was at the Verizon Center to see the Georgetown Hoyas beat the Duke Blue Devils a couple of years ago, along with President Barack Obama and thousands of others. But only now is the true depth of Biden's devotion to the team becoming clear—his first stop, upon arriving in Beijing yesterday, was at a gym to watch the Hoyas (on a preseason tour of China) play the Shanxi Brave Dragons. The visiting college team won, 98-81. Look for the Brave Dragons to drop out of the ESPN/USA Today coaches' poll as a result. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 63 Today's score: 0 Today's Needle rating: 63

Pot Papers Pending: Medical marijuana moved a bit closer toward reality in the District today, as the city officially began accepting applications (along with $5,000 fees, only half of which is refundable if the application is rejected) for cultivation centers to grow the legal pot. Applications will be accepted for about a month. Each of the 10 centers authorized will be allowed to grow 95 plants. Of course, the applications weren't actually posted online, even though the process officially began. But when has anything involving pot ever been done on time? +3

Pedicab Papers Pending, Too: For years, tourists (and, we suppose, a few locals) have been rolling around the District in seated bliss, as a pedicab driver sweats and pedals to haul them behind him or her. Up to now, it's been a pretty low-key affair, but now there are official rules. DDOT issued regulations for pedicabs, requiring head lamps, tail lights, seat belts, turn signals, and other basic safety equipment. The U.S. Park Service, naturally, isn't content with the D.C. rules, and is working on its own set of regulations for any pedicabs that stray onto the Mall. Because, you know, you can never have enough regulation of pedicabs. -1

Post Profits Plunge: Like most Washingtonians, we grumble about the Post from day to day (okay, well, maybe we grumble a bit more than usual here). But that doesn't mean we cheer for dismal financial news out of the paper's parent company, which is exactly what came out today. Earnings fell 50 percent in the last quarter at the Post, which is mostly due to earnings falling at Kaplan Higher Education, its for-profit college subsidiary, which makes far, far more money than the newspaper does—but then again, these days, just about anything makes far, far more money than newspapers do. -1

When Good Camels Go Bad: Visiting the zoo is usually pretty safe. But don't tell a woman who recently visited the Catoctin Wildlife Preserve and Zoo, near Frederick, Md., that—she was bitten by a camel while there. Both the woman and the camel are in good condition and being monitored by relevant health authorities. No word on whether any of the inhabitants of the National Zoo here have gotten any ideas. -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 51 Today's score: 0 Friday bonus: +2 Today's Needle rating: 53

Damn The Torpedoes: The Department of Justice recently reminded federal law enforcement authorities that marijuana is illegal in the U.S., no matter what laws cities or states might pass to the contrary. Here in the District, that might have threatened a nascent medical marijuana program—except Mayor Vince Gray has apparently decided he doesn't care what the feds say. Smoke 'em if you got 'em, folks (and by "got 'em," we mean, got prescriptions, of course). +2

Out Of Service: Anyone who's ridden Metro recently might be surprised to learn that the agency's official target for how many escalators are supposed to be in good working order at any given time is 90 percent. But those Metro riders won't be surprised to learn that it hasn't met the goal. In May, 103 of the system's 588 escalators were down for repairs—or more than 17 percent. No wonder tourists can't figure out that they're supposed to stand to the right; standing won't get you anywhere on a broken escalator. -2

Red Means Go: One of the most frequent gripes from drivers about bicyclists is how often they see bikes running red lights. Never mind that most of the time, the bikes are just trying to put as much distance between themselves and cars as possible, and that they wait until the intersection is clear to go; apparently it's galling. In Virginia, it may still be galling, but it's now officially legal for bicyclists, motorcyclists, or moped riders to run a red after waiting two minutes for it to change. Prediction: This will do absolutely nothing to stop drivers from grumbling. +1

Green Means D.C.: The District government loves boasting about how environmentally friendly its policies are. Now it turns out those boasts may be justified. A ranking of 27 U.S. and Canadian cities by Siemens put D.C. number one in "environmental governance," and number eight overall in general green-ness. In water conservation, the District ranked 24th. Guess those rain barrels aren't enough. +2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 49 Today's score: +3 Today's Needle rating: 52

Yes We Can (Continue The War On Drugs): Advocates of D.C.'s new medical marijuana law were relieved to find the zealous new House Republican majority didn't try to block it while writing the next fiscal year's budget this spring. Turns out they were worried about the wrong end of Pennsylvania Avenue. The Department of Justice notified the Drug Enforcement Administration this week that anyone "cultivating, selling, or distributing marijuana, and those who knowingly facilitate such activities, are in violation of the Controlled Substances Act," and that local laws legalizing or decriminalizing weed don't matter. Maybe that's why the District hasn't granted any licenses to sell medical pot yet: Is Mayor Vince Gray worried President Barack Obama will send the narcs after him if he "knowingly facilitates" the distribution centers' activities? -2

Bike to the Fireworks: Taking Capital Bikeshare out to big events can sometimes be a problem; once the available racks in the area fill up, there's nowhere to leave the burly red bike, unless you've hauled your own lock and key along with you (in which case, why not just bring your own bike?). DDOT seems to have realized that—they'll set up "bike corrals" by the Mall on Monday evening so people can leave their Bikeshare rides while watching pyrotechnics, guaranteeing a place to park for anyone who brings a municipal bike by. (Getting all the bikes back around town that night won't be easy, though; officials say there may not be a place to park when you get home again, or a bike for your Tuesday morning commute.) +2

No Such Thing As A Free Ride: The next time you lose your D.C. driver's license, it'll cost a bit more to replace it. New DMV fees for four services took effect today, part of the city's effort to bring in more revenue in the fact of a budget crunch. Duplicate licenses will be $20, up from $7; road and knowledge tests, which used to be free, will cost $10; and commercial driver's licenses, which used to be $13, will cost $20. Cue AAA to decry the District's war on cars, no doubt. -1

Monumental Problem: Riding up to the top of the Washington Monument tends to be one of those things tourists do that locals never quite get around to, figuring they can go any time, so why wait in the line? Besides the line, there's now a new reason to stay away: You might get stuck. D.C. firefighters had to rescue 16 people trapped 490 feet above the ground Thursday night when an elevator stalled; they had to walk down from the top, adding insult to injury. Great way to start the nation's birthday celebration off, isn't it? -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 43 Today's score: -2 Friday bonus: +2 Fourth of July bonus: +2 Today's Needle rating: 45

99 Problems But a Motorcade Ain't One: Turns out the list of celebrities who've gotten police escorts through the District doesn't begin and end with Charlie Sheen and Fran Drescher. Internal Metropolitan Police Department records show Jay-Z and Bill Gates have also sped through D.C. with flashing lights. Gates' escort cost $445.68, and Jay-Z's cost $1,114.20. Both zoomed between Dulles and destinations in the District. No matter what else, Gates should certainly have to wait for red lights; it's payback for every time a Washingtonian's copy of Microsoft Word has frozen. -2

USA Today Gets Results: Back in the day, people used to mock USA Today for being an unserious newspaper. Now, any newspaper that's still got enough readers to be worth publishing daily gets some automatic respect. USAT ought to get a little more now: A District investigation following up on the paper's story about cheating on standardized tests found that, indeed, there was cheating, and the results from three classrooms have been thrown out. Prediction: This will not calm the ongoing battles in town about what kind of legacy Michelle Rhee left behind when she split for California. -2

Weeded Out: Worries that medical marijuana would mean a huge influx of pot to the District (which, really, wouldn't have been so bad) seem to have been completely misplaced. So far, only 11 applicants have put in to run "cultivation centers" to grow the, uh, medicine, and only nine have applied to sell it. (The Rabbi of Pot is one of them.) Two would be in Northeast, and one would be near Eastern Market along Pennsylvania Avenue SE. One would be somewhere in Ward 2. Not exactly Amsterdam-esque. You've got another month or so if you want to get in on the action. +1

100 Percent Chance of Weather: May and June in D.C. tend to mean one thing: Thunderstorms. Okay, two things: Thunderstorms, and lots of 'em. Today is no exception. A serious storm front is rolling through the area; a tornado was already spotted on the Eastern Shore, and the D.C. area is under a severe thunderstorm watch until 9 p.m., with a chance of winds up to 70 m.p.h. Maybe the end of the world guy was only a few days off? -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 65 Today's score: -4 Today's Needle rating: 61

Think the legalization of medical marijuana in D.C. means a new era of permissiveness? Think again. The 30,000-word list of regulations released last week is full of no-nos, ranging from the obvious (District residents only) to the more arcane (no prescriptions from doctors whose role is “limited to or for the primary purpose of the provision of medical marijuana”). Among the highlights:

• Reg. 5705.1 A cultivation center or dispensary shall not permit the consumption of medical marijuana at the registered premises in any form.
• Reg. 5710.1 A dispensary or cultivation center shall not permit medical marijuana or paraphernalia to be visible from any public or other property not owned by the dispensary or cultivation center.
• Reg. 5703.1 A dispensary shall not be permitted to transport or deliver medical marijuana to a qualified patient or caregiver or from a cultivation center.
• Reg. 5708.2 A cultivation center shall not be permitted to hold educational seminars, classes, or discussions regarding medical marijuana for physicians.

The complete rules are below.

Photo by Hupu2 via Wikimedia Commons/Creative Commons BY-SA-3.0

Rain On The Parade: The more information that comes out about the federal government shutdown, the more ludicrous it seems that a country whose elected officials take great pains to describe—belligerently, at times—as the greatest in the history of the world may just close up shop for lack of money this weekend. Among the casualties: the National Cherry Blossom Festival Parade, which would be canceled because it runs down Constitution Avenue, which is National Park Service territory. Also, about 800,000 federal workers, many of them here in the D.C. area, would be furloughed. Perhaps it's time to start thinking about replacing the eagle on the national seal with a banana? -3

You Put Your Weed in There: Assuming the government doesn't shut down, D.C.'s new medical marijuana laws will begin to take effect next week—meaning applications for pot dispensaries will be available. No actual medicinal marijuana, of course, won't be available for some time; the rules will be published next week, but no licenses to grow and distribute the pot will be out for a while. At this rate, things have been moving slow enough it's starting to seem like the people in charge of implementing the laws have been sampling the medicine. +2

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs: When it is operating, of course, having the federal government around is good for business in D.C. Or at least such is the conclusion of new data out today from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, which showed the unemployment rate in the D.C. region in February—5.9 percent—was the lowest for any region in the country. That's well below the national average of 9.5 percent in February. More proof the Obama administration is taking the country socialist! +2

Next Stop, Departures: Chances people will ride Metro's new Silver Line out to Dulles International Airport (once it opens) are dramatically higher if the station is near the terminal, but putting it there would be significantly more expensive. Which is why it was a pleasant surprise today that the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority overruled its own staff and voted to put the stop underground, close to the terminal. Of course, Virginia officials are already saying the $300 million in additional costs should be paid by the airport, not the state. But they've got, oh, probably another decade to worry about it before the Silver Line actually opens. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 61 Today's score: +2 Today's Needle rating: 63

Vince Gray

A town hall hosted by the D.C. Patients' Cooperative last night was scheduled a month ago; the advocates that organized it had hoped that by the time the town hall occurred, the mayor would have signed off on regulations approved by the City Council in November 2010. Alas, no such action has happened, and the process to implement cannabis growth and distribution in the District is at an impasse until Gray gets around to acknowledging it.

D.C. Patients' Cooperative, a non-profit advocacy group, hopes to apply to run a dispensary. But, given the lack of approved legal infrastructure, last night's four-person panel couldn't give much beyond speculation of how some things, like access to cannabis for low-income patients, would actually function. Without the implementation of the regulations—and, thus, the implementation of a board to oversee the implementation of the regulations—advocates' hands are tied.

The Department of Health's Deputy Director, who drafted the medical marijuana statute, said "The next step is for each of the agencies that the mayor had delegated to implement the program to begin implementing the program. The Department of Health is doing their part, and the big bottleneck in the system is the mayor to appoint the panel that will accept applications for dispensaries and cultivation centers. It's out of the council's hands for now, which is what I represent, and it's really on the mayor to make the necessary appointments so the program can be implemented." ABRA director Fred Moosally and chairman Charles Brodsky were also in attendance.

Nonetheless, the group, which included D.C. Patients' Cooperative board members Nikolas Schiller and Adam Eidinger (who uses medical marijuana for his chronic arthritis) and Tony Bowles of the D.C. chapter of Americans for Safe Access, ably answered questions about what prospective patients, distributors, and growers might be able to expect if the regulations are approved.

A few highlights:

• Patients will only be allowed to obtain their cannabis from one dispensary, which will be noted on their prescription card. This way, no one can double-dip and pick up the allowed 2 ounces at more than one dispensary.
• "Cannabanoid profiles" break down what's in each strain of marijuana; notably, THC, the psychoactive agent that affects the brain, and CBD, which affects the rest of the body. Patients will, unquestionably, know more about what's in their marijuana than those that partake in the substance recreationally.
• Medical marijuana in D.C. will likely be some of the most expensive in the country. Cannabis will need to be grown here, not imported, and rents are high. Home cultivation, which might reduce some of the expense, is expressly not allowed.
• Patients do not need a clean record for a recommendation for medical marijuana; the recommendation is given by a doctor. Caregivers are allowed for patients who are not able to pick up their cannabis, but caregivers do need a record clear of drug convictions and felonies. Likewise, to work at a cultivation or dispensary, a record clear of drug convictions and felonies is required. (Yes, this means that you can have a history of violent crime or fraud and work at a dispensary or cultivation center.)
• DCist notes that "If and when the program gets off of the ground, a big problem yet to be resolved is where cultivators will get their seeds. Getting them from out-of-state would be illegal, after all, so what are the options? The Metropolitan Police Department, ventured one advocate. Seeds from seized plants could be used, he argued."

One audience member asked if what was being discussed could actually be happening if the mayor had signed the regulations last month, as advocates had hoped. "Yes," said Schiller.

At the point, there's nothing for the advocates—and prospective patients—to do but wait, though there is little indication as to when Gray will get things rolling. Moosally indicated that the executive approval might come in the next few weeks.

Photo by Flickr user Mike_fj40 using an Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic Creative Commons license

For those keeping track of the District's progress in the medical marijuana game, today is not the small milestone it appeared to be.

DCist reports that the medical marijuana rules released in November 2010 will go into effect... not today, but shortly: "It seems that while the rules should be taking effect today due to the timing of when they were submitted to the D.C. Council, they only become legally valid once published in the D.C. Register, which should happen next week."

The rules themselves are hardly liberal: The District will allow only five dispensaries and ten cultivation centers. (City Paper looked at one proposed center, to be run by a rabbi in Takoma, in August.) Patients will only be allowed to purchase two ounces a month. And whenever they take effect, it won't exactly signal the advent of a medical marijuana culture around these parts. Mayor Vince Gray still has to appoint a four-person board to oversee the operation and handling of related policy, and the Department of Health will undertake rules applying to patients and doctors.

DCist notes that "the glacial pace with which the program has progressed has been of some frustration to advocates, many of whom have found leases left hanging until they could be sure that the rules would take effect and have someone to govern their implementation." We wish upon NORML-ites and their compatriots a heavy does of patience; expect Gray's deliberateness to shine in this arena.

Photo by Neeta Lind via Flickr/Creative Commons Attribution 2.0

Oh, sure, patients and doctors would register with the Department of Health, but the growers and sellers would instead be subject to the city's Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) Board and its administrative arm, the Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration (ABRA), just as if your neighborhood dispensary were a bar; call it a hash bar for the sick. It seemed an unusual approach, somewhat unique among the many other states regulating medical cannabis, but practical, as the existing ABC Board/ABRA apparatus has extensive experience vetting the venues that distribute a controlled substance to qualified consumers.

Supporters espousing marijuana's legitimacy as medicine, however, balked at the idea. In an Aug. 15 letter to the Post, Wayne Turner, sponsor of D.C.'s original 1998 medical marijuana ballot initiative, fumed, "Having the [Alcoholic Beverage Control] Board in charge bolsters the false accusation that D.C.'s medical marijuana effort is not about helping patients but is instead a 'stalking horse' for the legalization of recreational marijuana."

The controversy appears to have prompted a few tweaks to the city's pot planning. Revised rules published in the D.C. Register today bear no mention of the ABC Board or ABRA. The booze police, it seems, have been written out of the program entirely.

In fact, the word "alcohol" appears just once in the entire 87-page rulemaking:

5402.5             A registration application for a cultivation center or dispensary shall not be approved for any location that also sells alcoholic beverages.

In place of the liquor authorities, the mayor will appoint a new hearing board "to conduct registration, licensing, and enforcement proceedings involving cultivation centers and dispensaries."

Just like the ABC Board, it would seem. Only called something different. And with all new members—because what's the point of passing new laws if you can't build a whole new bureaucracy to go along with them?

5401.2 A four member panel shall be convened consisting of one representative from the Department [of Health], MPD, OAG, and a staff person designated by the Board to evaluate and score each application.

Photo by Coaster420/Creative Commons Attribution License

Neon pot-leaf signs like this are a no-no at D.C. dispensaries.

Rabbi Jeffrey Kahn and wife Stephanie Kahn have a simple plan for bankrolling their controversial proposed medical-marijuana facility on Blair Road NW. "We plan on financing this from our personal life savings," he says.

How much are we talking? Well, that's a bit, um, hazy at the moment.

The biggest expense will likely be the price of the herbal remedy itself, according to Stephen DeAngelo, executive director of Harborside Health Center in Oakland, Calif., which both Rabbi Kahn and fellow aspiring dispensary operators with the nonprofit District of Columbia Patients' Cooperative have toured in preparation for creating their own facilities. DeAngelo tells City Desk, "Out of every dollar we take in, about 62 percent of that goes to paying for the actual medicine. The balance of that goes towards paying our rent, our payroll, our insurance—all the other typical expenses that a business has."

While not a single legal pot plant is yet in production in the District, thus making the budgeting process quite difficult for would-be sellers, we can safely assume that all other costs aren't even the half of it. That said, Mayor Adrian Fenty's proposed medical-marijuana regulations at least provide specifics about some of the other start-up costs:

• The annual fee for a medical marijuana dispensary registration shall be ten thousand dollars ($10,000) + an initial application processing fee of five thousand dollars ($5,000)

If you plan on growing your own, tack on an additional ten grand:

• The annual fee for a cultivation center registration shall be five thousand dollars ($5,000) + an initial application processing fee of five thousand dollars ($5,000)

Next, you'll need to register all your corporate partners...

• The annual fee for each director, officer, member, incorporator, or agent registration shall be two hundred dollars ($200)

And every "bud-tender" on staff:

• The annual fee for an employee registration shall be seventy five dollars ($75)
• The annual fee for a Manager's license shall be one hundred and fifty dollars ($150)

You may also need a permit for moving the medicine between manufacturing and distributing facilities:

• The fee for a transport permit shall be twenty-five dollars ($25)

Not included in the regs: your necessary certificate of occupancy ($33 application fee).

Then there's the whole matter of rent. According to real estate analysts Delta Associates, the average retail rent in D.C. (as of the end of 2009) is about $35 per square foot annually. For a modest 1,500-square-foot dispensary, such as the one the Kahns are proposing, that works out to roughly $4,375 each month, or $52,500 for the whole year. (Add on an additional month's rent for the probable security deposit.)

Next up, payroll. The proposed regs specify that each dispensary "shall be staffed with at least two persons during its hours of operation," with those hours of operation being anytime between 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. seven days a week. Let's say you open on a more limited basis, from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. A dispensary employing two staffers at all times (minimum wage: $8.25 per hour) would thus run up at least $1,155 in weekly payroll (or, $60,060 annually).

Then there's security to think about. The Kahns, for instance, are planning to hire an off-duty cop to monitor the premises, beginning from a half hour before opening until a half hour after closing. A police officer working "reimburseable detail," as it's called, runs about $55 an hour—roughly three times the price of your average security guard. Let's say you go the cheaper route ($18 per hour); that's $1,386 per week (or, $72,072 annually).

Already, we're looking at well over $200,000, without even factoring in the cost of the required video cameras and alarm system, insurance, a good licensing lawyer—and, most importantly, the pot itself. If we accept DeAngelo's 62-percent figure on the cost of product, then we're talking around half a million dollars (if my math is correct).

In its own financial impact statement, the District predicted the average cost of marijuana sold at dispensaries at about $350 per ounce. Therefore, a dispensary would need to sell about 1,429 ounces of herb annually to cover its basic costs.  That's about 119 ounces per month. Patients, meanwhile, are limited to just two ounces per month, and the District expects to register only 300 patients citywide in the first year. Which means dispensary owners may need to dip into their own inventory to make the math look right.