This afternoon, though, I received a press release announcing the picks of a group Sean Penn may start caring about in another year: AARP, whose magazine's editorial staff votes on what they somewhat condescendingly call the Movies for Grownups Awards.

According to the announcement, the MFGA "have become a consistent bellweather [sic] for each year's subsequent Oscar winners."

Let's hope not. It wouldn't be the worst choice if Frost/Nixon snagged a Best Picture trophy from the Academy as it did from those representing the 50+ set.

But the year films such as Smart People (with two noms) and The Women (three!) are considered for anything besides Movies That Should Have Never Been Released or Actors Who Should Be Ashamed of Themselves, we'll know that Hollywood has truly hit rock bottom.

The AARP victors:

Best Movie: Frost/Nixon
Best Actress 50 and Over: Meryl Streep, Doubt
Best Actor 50 and Over: Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Best Supporting Actor, etc.: Bill Irwin, Rachel Getting Married
Best Supporting Actress: A tie! Christine Baranski and Julie Waters, Mamma Mia!
Best Director: Gus Van Sant, Milk
Best Screenwriter: J. Michael Stracynski, The Changeling
Best Grownup Love Story: Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson, Last Chance Harvey
Best Comedy for Grownups: Ghost Town
Best Intergenerational Film: The Visitor
Best Documentary (no age restriction, apparently): Man on Wire
Best Foreign Language Film (ditto): Edge of Heaven
Best Buddy Picture: The Family That Preys
Best Movie for Grownups Who Refuse to Grow Up: Iron Man

Full list of nominees at AARP's site.

Among the most multifaceted bottom-feeders are Mike Myers' The Love Guru, Paris Hilton's The Hottie and the Nottie, M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, the aptly named Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Uwe Boll's In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.

If you just said "huh?" to the last one — or, more likely, a couple of 'em — that's part of what usually makes the Razzies such a nonevent. I haven't seen any of the above movies, and though Love Guru and The Happening are at least high-profile, most of the movies dishonored were in and out of theaters before anyone could even hear about them, slow-moving targets in only the bwahahaha-you-sure-do-suck! sense.

So, really, who cares? It's so much more satisfying to call out the prestige films and actors that went terribly awry — I love that Al Pacino's awful 88 Minutes got some recognition, for example, as well as (finally!) Mamma Mia!. The Women and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have also been singled out. (Oh yes, they did.)

Notably missing is The Spirit, which is one of the worst movies I've seen, like, ever.

What other flicks were so bad they pissed you off? Don't be ashamed!

(Seriously. I expected to FF through it underwhelmed, a la the common man's trophyfest, the People's Choice Awards. But I was enraptured, unable to skip a single "thank you" or moment of the brilliant Mingle Cam.)

But it's probably just because the Hollywood Foreign Press has terrible taste.

Not all the time, of course. There were plenty of deserving (or at least herd-approved) noms and wins: Slumdog Millionaire took all four categories for which it was nominated (best picture drama, best director, best screenplay, and best original score). I was thrilled that Mickey Rourke, looking totally gangsta, won Best Actor for The Wrestler, and although I was generally zipping through the television categories, I had to stop to watch the love for 30 Rock, my only must-see show that I can admit to adoring without shame. (As opposed to Rock of Love, whose every incarnation I got sucked into. There, I said it.)

But Burn After Reading and Mamma Mia! for best comedies? Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson for their (literally) walk-in-the-park performances in feel-good romance Last Chance Harvey? I wasn't blown away by Sally Hawkins' Globe-winning turn in Happy-Go-Lucky, but I'm glad she won the category, because between her, Thompson, Meryl Streep (Mamma Mia!), Frances McDormand (Burn After Reading), and Rebecca Hall (Vicky Cristina Barcelona), Hawkins was the only actress who actually had to break a sweat.

That said, here are some of the show's highlights:

1.) Sting, presenting Best Song but looking like he should be slaying vampires with a dark beard and goth-y black coat;

2.) Bruce Springsteen's win for his contribution to The Wrestler, because I'm just as happy to hear him talk as sing;

3.) Andrew Stanton, who said that his wife and kids "inspire every emotion I try to capture onscreen" in his acceptance speech for the lovely WALL*E;

4.) Colin Farrell, who was funny when he blamed his sniffing on a cold and "not the other thing it used to be" while presenting an award and touching when he talked about love while accepting one for In Bruges;

5.) Renee Zellweger's crazy-person dress, which narrowly beat Maggie Gyllenhaal's fashion disaster;

6.) Rourke giving a loving shout-out to his pets, because "sometimes when a man's alone, all you got is your dog;"

7.) Darren Aronofsky, so seemingly mild-mannered, caught on camera giving Rourke the finger;

8.) Tracy Morgan announcing that "I am the face of post-racial America. Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!"

and, perhaps my favorite,

9.) Tina Fey telling her Internet haters to "suck it":