The Arena Football League ain't ever coming to DC after all.

Sports leagues, like romantic relationships, can't survive taking a break. Last year AFL owners thought they were different, announcing that while they'd be spending the 2009 season apart, they weren't breaking up.

Again: Just need some space. Just taking some time off from each other before getting back together.

Well, this week, several AFL owners leaked to the press the date that they'll be getting back together: The 12th....OF NEVER!

The AFL is dead.

The disbanding means, alas, Dan Snyder won't ever bring us the AFL team he promised back in 1999.

(AFTER THE JUMP: MMA is the next arena football? How many Redskins blogs are out there? Dan Steinberg marvels at whose muscles? The Washington Times toasts Bruce Smith? Michael Vick is partying where? The Nats are still playing?)

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For years, I've wanted to leave my mark on baseball history, as a dog might on a patch of grass. I came up with a name for those years of the game dominated by huge stats and little testes: "The Dead Balls Era."

And I forced it on people.

I put "Dead Balls Era" in print again and again and again and again. I'd search the web every so often, only to get the bad news that nobody was adopting my brainchild. In December 2007, nearly three years after I'd started lobbying for my phrase to become the official name of the all-steroids, all-the-time time in the National Pastime, "Dead Balls Era" was getting nine hits on Google.

NINE!

Read More "Breaking News: ‘Dead Balls Era™’ Uttered By Real Genius!" »