Humpday: Judd Apatow has made a joke of straight-dude friendships so gushy they stop just short of PDAs; Lynn Shelton toys with the idea of a pair actually going for it. Her mumblecore film about a project for Seattle's real-life porn festival deems the action "beyond gay." Though the script is somewhat novel, you may call it "beyond logic."

In the Loop: British and American politicos clash Office-style over war. Armando Iannucci’s comedy, based on his BBC series, is fast-paced, sharp, and often ridiculously funny. But the deluge of jokes eventually feels like a comedic filibuster.

Orphan: There's something wrong with Esther, all right — and it's that this Omen/Bad Seed knockoff is funny instead of scary.

The Ugly Truth: Katherine Heigl in a romantic comedy. Enough said.

G-Force: A Jerry Bruckheimer/Disney joint about secret-agent guinea pigs. The story's no good, but it's in 3D! Go empty your wallets immediately; there are only approximately another billion kids movies coming out with that extra dimension.

Notable matchups include A-Rod vs. Bellichick and Beckham vs. Bonds in the sports division, and Octomom vs. Dane Cook in the entertainment division.

All of which is good clean fun, to my mind. But the Politics Division is a real letdown. I mean, there's a pretty disappointing pattern here: Slightly loudmouthed (OK, sometimes more than slightly loudmouthed) leftist goes up against some sort of heinous, far-right succubus. Observe:

This, to me, is a really, really tepid shot at centrism on the part of the Taco. Are they actually suggesting that Harry Reid is a fouler personage than Ann Coulter? Or that Michael Moore's moderately successful movies are douchier than Bush's warmongering? There's hardly a pairing here that even approximates a level playing field. Arianna Huffington runs a left-leaning publication and writes the occasional middlebrow editorial; Rush Limbaugh jeers dying senators. I'll give 'em the Spitzer/O'Reilly one, though it's a stretch. But come on: Is this fair? How can we commies possibly hope to compete?

By way of a teaser, the Taco is pitting Katherine Heigl against Ryan Seacrest. To wit:

Voting begins noon eastern tomorrow.