Bill Mallison, a friend, cast his vote for John McCain in the contested state of North Carolina (CNN initial polling projected the state at 50% Obama, 49% McCain, though Obama has now broken away). Mallison may be an out-of-state voter, but he is, at the moment, physically in the District (photo evidence above).

Mallison says he supports McCain despite the messy election cycle he’s emerged from. “If you ignore all the election pandering, which you have to do in order to shore up all wings of the party, he hasn’t changed,” says Mallison. “He’s the same politician he was in mid-2007. As bad as the Republican party’s been, after Tom Delay and Rove, it’s important to support the moderate wing of the party. And the moderate wing’s about gone because Delay and Rove killed most of the moderate Republican members of Congress. And McCain is basically all the things that a Republican wants in Republican, subtract all the insane token positions like stem cell research and gay marriage amendments and no prescription drug importation and torture. That being said, it’s not the party’s time to win. It’s the Democrats’ time.”

I, too, once voted for John McCain, for Senator of Arizona (totally won). Perhaps it was even my very vote that encouraged McCain to quench his unspeakable thirst for unparalleled international power. My bad.

In which we chat with the Ward I councilmember about huge lines at the polls, the benefits of Adrian Fenty’s “early and strong support of the Obama candidacy,” and whether or not Carol Schwartz qualifies as a maverick.

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In which we speak with a man named Willie Mays (!) about credible change and Michael Brown’s lackluster performance at air hockey.

Among other things.

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CP’s Ted Scheinman, who’s been running around trying to document this entire historic election on videotape, also has a great Slate piece out today instructing John McCain how to lose gracefully. Read Scheinman’s tips for McCain’s (knock on wood, salt over shoulder, Obama jersey unwashed for two years) concession speech—informed by the examples of such great losers as Bob Dole, Adlai Stevenson, and Michael Dukakis. And forward them on to John, please.

In which we speak with Mary and Pam, two McCain volunteers who predict an upset victory for the Republican ticket. Mary doesn’t trust polls, while Pam thinks Virginia and Florida are going to break decisively for McCain.

An Obama victory, Pam adds, might signify that God requires “penance” from the U.S. For something.

Plus: will Prop 8 turn California red?!?!

Um…probably not.

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*We’re not really counting that “this is your brain on democracy” thing.

This is your brain.

This is your brain on democracy:

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In which we speak with ANC 1C-03 Commissioner Bryan Weaver about Michael Brown’s basketball skills, David Schwartzman’s uncanny resemblance to Walt Whitman, and the Sarah Palin Disney Movie.

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Throughout the day, Jason Cherkis and I will bring you moving pictures from political hotspots in D.C. and Virginia. Look out for candidate interviews, voter testimonials, and copious b-roll of long, snaking lines at the polls.

Our first vid comes from Iglesia Festival (polling station for precinct 35), where we spoke with Alice Bell.

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…The Corner’s John Derbyshire:

Now here’s a subversive little thought about that Khalidi tape that the Los Angeles Times is guarding like a cargo of plutonium.

Read the rest of this entry »

A funny-’cause-it’s-true riff from the Lakeview Terrace star about how Barack Obama needs to keep his cool no matter how apoplectic John McCain acts.

Funny, that is, until the very end, when Jackson straight-talks about “the elephant in the room.”

“That’s what we fear most as black people who want him to…be elected: Win, and somebody’s gonna try to kill him.”

At the close of her interview with Joe Biden on Wednesday, Diane Sawyer re-aired a clip from the SNL veep debate. The footage, in which Jason Sudeikis plays Biden, left the candidate in stitches. Viz.:

This, to me, is an awkward exchange. First, politicians need to stop making jokes about hair-plugs, even if they’ve got a few. Second, give me a good belly-laugh any day over the halting, drawn-out, don’t-know-whether-he’s-laughing-or-crying chuckle that consumes Biden for nearly a minute.

Don’t get me wrong: I would take a bullet for Joe Biden. But it sure would be nice to see a politician laugh with the joyful abandon of Bill Clinton back in (say) 1995:

According to Dep. Secretary of State Strobe Talbott, Yeltsin was visibly impaired by a serious cognac buzz at the time of the press conference. Clinton, of course, took the situation in stride, later mollifying a vexed Talbott with, er, a stiff highball of truth:

We can’t ever forget that Yeltsin drunk is better than most of the alternatives sober.

Now that’s what I call straight talk!

In related non-news, a hard-hitting trend-piece published yesterday in the New York Times heralds the umpteenth resurgence of political humor.

8:50 PM … Alright, bitches: It’s on. We’ll be live-blogging the Joe Six Pack event of the presidential debate season—the town hall—for the next hour and a half. Thanks for tuning in.

8:57 PM … Booooring

8:59 PM … These are the country’s undecided voters: Judge them.

9:00 PM … Oh, you unconstrained home viewers. Brokaw smirks for you.

9:03 PM … Obama and McCain look awkward on those seats.

9:04 PM … NUMBER ONE is a winner! Alan is looking good.

9:05 PM … Okay Obama … real star, though, is pink shirt dude in the front. Here’s to you, pink shirt dude!

9:06 PM … “Alan” is lost in a sea of other similar-looking bald white dudes. Is this really a representative sample?

9:07 PM … Ahhh . . . McCain’s going in! He’s really getting in there in the seats! Close to the real Americans! He’s cutting right in there! Alright, there, he’s out.

9:08 PM … Wow, McCain is a dick to Tom Brokaw within eight minutes! . . . because he can’t take it out on the “real Americans”

9:09 PM … The “real American” questions are great because they’re kind of weird and not to the point . . . hey, Palin should ask a question! Isn’t she a “real” American? Where are you, Palin!

9:10 PM … IS THAT A LIVESTRONG BRACELET ON BROKAW?

9:11 PM … Buh, Wall Street / Main Street . . . come on, Oliver, you can’t just pick a question that sends them straight to the talking points.

9:12 PM … Why would McCain assume we’d never heard of this? Big Mac who? I’m American!

9:13 PM … Oooh, Barack is “not surprised” he has to correct some history. Probably better to be condescending to McCain, though, and not “Oliver.”

9:15 PM … Barack Obama wrote a letter saying we had to “deal with this”? Jesus maybe you should have sent an e-mail or a fucking twitter or something. Ben Bernake doesn’t have time to page through your scented stationery.

9:17 PM … Oh John McCain wrote a letter TOO!

9:18 PM … For the record, I’m writing a letter right now just in case some really bad shit goes down remember it’s not my fault, I wrote a letter, kthx.

9:19 PM … Woah, woah, lady with kind of my hair cut!

9:20 PM … Seriously I know the teevee’s not supposed to show anyone’s response after they ask a question, but is that lady okay??

9:21 PM … McCain understands “cynicism,” “mistrust,” “complete irrational anger,” “horrific rage”

9:22 PM … He voted for every increase in spending?? Every one?? Does the “surge” count?

9:23 PM … “My friends” … planetariums are simply irresponsible, pork-barrel, liberal earmark lies created by the mainstream media to steal your money.

9:24 PM … Question from the Internet tubes! Where does McCain vaguely threateningly wander to now?

9:25 PM … The monies go to terrorist organizations? You mean Barack Hussein Obama and his community organizer cronies?

9:26 PM … Nodding audience members! Are these people really “undecided”? Are they allowed to look the candidate in the eyes? Get on this, Brokaw.

9:28 PM … What sacrifices must we make? Oh come on, Internet lady, don’t turn this shit back on all of us.

9:29 PM … Wait McCain, I have to sacrifice earmarks and defense spending? Shit I’m already not fucking doing that!

9:30 PM … “Shoving earmarks in the middle of the night into programs”? Holy shit, is McCain finally addressing women’s issues??

9:31 PM … Hmm … if we save energy by turning out the lights, won’t that just facilitate the shoving of earmarks into programs under the cover of darkness?

9:33 PM ... Wall Street got drunk? I guess it’s not so much different from me, after all.

9:34 PM … Hey! Blue sweater lady in the back! You are clearly giving Obama the dreamy eye! You are not undecided, lady. Quick note to blond mustache dude: Thanks for keeping it real.

9:35 PM … Nailing jello to the wall? Oh John McCain, your folky aphorisms make no sense.

9:36 PM … Senator Obama’s SECRET THAT YOU DON’T KNOW . . . Muslim terrorist tax collector!

9:37 PM … Obama breaking the rules! At least he’s asking instead of just brushing off the next question and answering the one he wants anyway.

9:38 PM … Tom Brokaw hijacks a true American’s question now. Oh “rules.”

9:39 PM … Straight talk express lost a midnight earmark to the jello wall on that one, am I right ladies?

9:40 PM … Is that your town hall debate tie, sir? Is it really?

9:41 PM … Hey, if I say “I’ll answer the question,” and then I make a totally creepy laugh, then people might forget I said “I’ll answer the question,” right?

9:42 PM … Is anyone sick of the number of votes the two candidates compile against the other? John McCain has been in the Senate since Jesus Christ was president and Barack Obama is a little internet lolcat, so how can you really compare?

9:43 PM … jean jacket wearing enviornonmental green job lady are you really undecided?

9:44 PM … John McCain was on Navy ships with nuclear power plants? OK—badass.

9:46 PM … I bet you didn’t ask that question to get that amazing Washington outsider zinger!

9:47 PM … Brokaw’s getting sassy. He should have been at the last debate. Catfight!

9:49 PM … That bill was loaded down with goodies that you couldn’t nail to the wall if the goodies were soft, jiggly jello goodies. Guess what? The person I am speaking about shadily in this old backdoor senate floor story is none other than my opponent, Senator Barack Obama! And you know what’s more? He’s right here behind this curtain!

9:50 PM … is John McCain lost?? He’s wandering around! Your awkward stool seat is right over there Senator. Stop wandering into “America.”

9:51 PM … “Bigger pool for health care so we can drop the cost” . . . man. Creative Loafing told me the same thing.

9:53 PM … If you’re trying to get health insurance for your child . . . Barack Obama . . . will fine you?

9:54 PM … Gold-plated Cadillac plans  . . . hair transplants? Wah? Can you really joke about the excess of plastic surgery when you probably don’t even know if you have a gold-plated Cadillac in one of your own dozen garages?

9:56 PM … Lay it down Obama. Lay it on sweet.

9:58 PM … Under McCain/Palin: Arizona: health care as Mexico: prescription pills

10:00 PM … Fine! Mwa ha ha ha. Mwa ha. Heh.

10:01 PM … America is the greatest force of good in the history of the world? McCain may very well know from experience.

10:02 PM … I think we all know that it’s “parents” who just don’t understand.

10:03 PM … Oh John McCain. Continue to lean jauntily against that chair.

10:05 PM … Setting a date for withdrawl? God, the “that’s what she said” opportunities in this debate are endless.

10:07 PM … Red light, McCain, come on. No more time for you to say “beneficially” again.

10:09 PM … Obama lady is SURPRISED BY THIS QUESTION, and probably by her pronunciation of “Vietnam.”

10:10 PM … Attention … fading … somebody wink!

10:11 PM … Obama will KILL, CRUSH. McCain prefers to play hide-the-stick.

10:12 PM … “Wahh, I want a follow up!” -McCain  “Tom Brokaw, you are a beautiful, classy man” -Obama

10:15 PM … Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah alright take your time. No, no, go ahead, we have nothing to do. Lah dee dah, no go ahead. No, seriously, take your time! Oh, you made a joke with a veteran, eh? What are you talking about now? No please continue to ramble until you’ve taken up as much time as Obama.

10:17 PM … “If” either of you become President as one of you will … you hear that, Paultards?

10:18 PM … Obama, just admit you were wrong. You’re breaking McCain’s heart.

10:19 PM … holy shit I’m not sure I can take ten more questions from “The Internet.”

10:20 PM … I love the Putin talk! KGB! Do they have nuclear plants over there on their commie ships? Only John McCain’s large, hidden stick knows for sure.

10:21 PM … Egh, does Joe Biden really “love” this guy.

10:22 PM … I think Obama’s getting a widdle bit sleepy …

10:23 PM … YES or NO . . . well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. Okay, well, if you hadn’t done your creepy little chuckle, your “maybe” answer might have been a “LOL,” as they say.

10:25 PM … YES! PINK SHIRT DUDE! Bonus: pink shirt dude is in the military.

10:26 PM … There McCain goes with the microphone again. Is that thing on?

10:27 PM … Military options will not be off the table; but tell me, Senator, will they be nailed to the jello wall?

10:28 PM … From New Hampshire and the Internet? My God, the power of technology!

10:29 PM … Oh great, Internet person. Thanks for taking the time to interview Obama and McCain for the manager position at the local Cinnabon. Next question: “When have you gotten along poorly with a teammate, and what did you do?”

10:32 PM … McCain doesn’t know what will happen in America, world; Senator McCain, what does Heaven look like?

10:33 PM … What the fuck are you talking about?

10:34 PM … Country first. Debate last. My god. GOODNIGHT.

10:35 PM … Commence handshaking! Michelle! Cindy! Descend! McCain just touched that guy’s ears! McCain rubbed his ears for luck! But CIndy only gets a side-cheeky thing. Blond dude with handlebar moustache! Creepy blue sweater surprised Obama lady! I want to see you hug it out! That is the great journey we call America!

Refresh for more.

Yet another story detailing Bill Clinton’s preference for talking up John McCain over campaigning for Barack Obama:

Former President Bill Clinton was hesitant to characterize Barack Obama as a “great man” Sunday, a phrase he had no qualms using last week to describe Obama’s rival John McCain.

Clinton told NBC’s Tom Brokaw that it was only earlier this month in Harlem that he and Obama had their “first conversation.” He said he had spoken with Obama before, but only in passing.

Clinton then explained what he meant in characterizing McCain as a “great man.”

“I think his greatness is that he keeps trying to come back to service without ever asking people to cut him any slack or feel sorry for him or any of that stuff because he was a POW,” Clinton said of the Republican presidential nominee.

What is the matter with this guy? It’s like he’s a pathological self-saboteur. And then some obvious possibilities reared their jaded heads: If Obama wins in November and has an effective presidency, he’ll seek re-election, which would put eight years between Hillary and the White House. If Obama wins in November but taxes us into a recession, Republicans will have an easier time in 2012. But! If McCain wins in November and implements his disastrous defense policies (or OD’s on Viagra–either way, he’s a one-term guy), Hillary will be poised for a comeback in 2012. (Sarah Palin has about as much chance of going from VP to just “P” in 2012 as Dan Quayle did in 2000–er, ‘94.)

I’m sure this type of conjecture is/has been floating around the InterTubez, I’m just waiting for an MSM person to hit Clinton with it straight up.

Also, thinking like a pollster pickles my innards.

According to Radley Balko, the McCain camp aired the above ad an hour or so before McCain told the press that he would be participating in tonight’s debate, which leads one to believe that the McCain team knew there was a chance that his “Campaign to Suspend My Campaign” campaign wasn’t going to work.

What a rascal!

Last week, I reported on Obama’s radiant,  mesmerizing, slightly spittled High Definition look as he accepted the Democratic nomination for president. In the post, I reasoned that if even the 47-year-old NILF came off as less-than-perfect in HD, the 72-year-old McCain had an even tougher beauty contest in front of him. (Earlier, Slate’s Timothy Noah went so far as to suggest that McCain’s championing of HD technology, as radium to Curie, might be the cause that would do him in).

How wrong I was.

Note to John McCain’s beautician: Strike fast with the promotional tie-ins. How quickly can you pump out the McCain/Palin age-reversing foundation / ass-kicking lipstick box set?