Photo credit: Eddy Poinelli

Jimmy Lange has got the boxing game whupped. The Great Falls junior middleweight parlayed the renown he got from the first-wave reality TV show, The Contender, into a smart career headlining cards near his hometown, in which he gets paid well to beat up mostly club fighters. On paper, he looks like an, um, contender, with a 33-4-2 record. But Lange, who turns 35 this week, appears to have given up dreams of holding a legitimate world title, and his run in the ring has gotten silly lately.

He's now reduced to facing a bunch of, well, McFails.

On Saturday, Lange decisioned a guy in Greensboro with a record of 12 wins and 40 losses and a name to match: Mike McFail.

Really, he beat a guy literally named McFail. This comes after a debacle last year in which state boxing regulators in North Carolina refused to sanction a Lange bout because the desired opponent was a figurative McFail: Jimmy LeBlanc had gone on a 3-15-1 skein before Lange signed to fight him. That bout was canceled before it took place for LeBlanc's safety.

Saturday's fight, Lange's first away from Fairfax since a 2005 Vegas encounter related to his work on "The Contender" series, was billed as a tuneup for Lange's next appearance around here, in November at the Patriot Center.

All we know so far about that fight so far is that Lange'll be at the top of the bill, again, and tickets will cost from $35 to $500. ($500!) His opponent is listed by his handlers as "TBD." Floyd Mayweather's probably busy. But now that McFail's been taken care of, Lange's camp has gotta be on the lookout for a fighter named Lou Zerr. Or maybe Tom Matoekan.

Tickets are available through www.ticketmaster.com.

I like his thinking. Arrington's, that is.

Orakpo signed last night and will be dressed out today. The Sporting News ranked the Redskins as the best fit for Vick.

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The Vick influence, meanwhile, remains profound. Ultimate fighting opponents for years have tried to keep states from sanctioning MMA by calling it "human cockfighting," a term made famous by Sen. John McCain. But McCain's tag did nothing to stop the spread of the cage matches. So, New York legislators opposed to seeing the sport, or whatever you want to call it, sanctioned in their state have adopted "human dogfighting" as their catch phrase.

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Speaking of guerilla marketing: Larry Weisman looks more like a brilliant hire for Dan Snyder every day.

(AFTER THE JUMP:New Skins PR official calls team "mediocre"?)

Weisman, a longtime USA Today pro football correspondent, now writes press releases for the Redskins that look a lot like his old-school journalism. And real news organizations that are either lazy or duped have been treating the releases like news stories. (What's up with that, ESPN?)

But, because Weisman was so prolific in his final days as a newspaperman, his pieces are still trickling out as he starts working for Snyder. The Sporting News recently published a state of the team piece that Weisman co-authored before Snyder began paying for his services.

Here's some highlights from Larry's last ride in journalism, headlined "Mediocre Returns on Big Investments":

"The modern Redskins are spring champions and winners of free agency — and not much else...Since Daniel Snyder bought the franchise in 1999, it has one division title and two playoff victories, accolades hardly worth the megamillions Washington has burned through trying to get the best players of the day...An 8-8 team, the Redskins appeared happy to just tread water this year.

The Redskins want to run the ball, but Clinton Portis faded down the stretch in '08. He's a high-mileage player for his age — he turns 28 on Sept. 1 — and lacks a downfield burst at this stage in his career.... The offensive line is past ripe, the quarterback has not matured and the receivers are in transition. They rely too heavily on Portis on offense, and on defense, they'll bank on Haynesworth to elevate everyone's level...Even with all that, this team will be hard-pressed to make the playoffs in the competitive NFC East...Bottom line: The Redskins are a mediocre team."

Tell it like it was, Larry! At the very least, Snyder has to worry about one less guy out there who'll write this stuff.

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Speaking of spurned ex-Redskins: Mike Wise bottles Jon Jansen's whine about getting cut by Snyder. The team's press release at the time of Jansen's release made it sound like he died comfortably, surrounded by friends and family. The warm and fuzzy vibe ain't nowhere in Wise's fine piece.

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Nats lose. Big. All the hopes and dreams fans had for the team for those few days in late July 2009 are gone.

Football season?

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Just hours after President Obama met with Henry Louis Gates and James Crowley at the White House in hopes of converting the brouhaha into a brew-haha, TruthAboutIt reminds us of one of pre-Post-Racial America's funnest pastimes:  Mocking whitey on the basketball court.

The level of racial profiling in Cambridge ain't nothing compared to the amount of profiling on the hardwood.

Truth About It (inspired by a racially charged tweet from the street's favorite white blogger, the Great Dan Steinberg) awesomely provides a list of all the caucasians who've worn a Bullets/Wizards uniform in the last quarter century. And damn if they don't make the case for color. My only problem with this list, and I think Lou Dobbs is with me on this, is it includes foreigners. You take out the Eastern euros, and there's really nobody who ever made a contribution, save Tom Gugliotta. And even with Gugliotta — I'm sure Lou's with me here, too — that last name ain't American.

(So, will  John Stockton will be the last American whitey NBA All-Star? Discuss.)

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Another milestone on the Road to Ripken yesterday, with the disclosure that David Ortiz, the beloved, wholesome, no-way-he's-a-cheater Red Sox slugger, tested positive for steroids in 2003 with more than 100 other Major Leaguers. Ortiz gave his "I did not have sexual relations with that woman!" speech many times over the years.

I totally get these guys taking steroids. I'll never get taking steroids and then doing interviews bragging about not doing steroids.

I gotta say, I wish it was Curt Schilling who got outted instead. I might start drinking again to celebrate when that day comes. Or maybe start taking steroids.

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Jimmy Lange tried to escape Fairfax, but couldn't. On Sept. 26, Lange, who could be nicknamed the "Most Successful Junior Middleweight in Boxing History to Never Fight for a Title," will come back to Patriot Center, scene of his last seven fights, to meet Jonathan Reid. Tickets for Lange vs. Reid, priced from $30-$500, are now on sale.

Reid, like Lange, was a cast member on NBC's reality series, "The Contender." Lange has parlayed that appearance into several top-of-the-card fights before big crowds at the Patriot Center. In a previous fight, Reid lost to DC's own William Joppy, a onetime middleweight champ.

So how come Lange never fought Joppy?

This just in: Our Amazin' Nats are a national punchline. First the Wall Street Journal used the team's woes in the lede of its Sonia Sotomayor hearings coverage, comparing the hopelessness of being a Republican senator with the hopelessness of being a Nat.

Then President Barack Obama, in the broadcast booth during the All-Star telecast, told the country that because of parity fans of all teams still remained hopeful that this season would turn out OK. Then he threw in a caveat: Except fans of the Nationals.

Obama clearly enjoyed his Nats takedown, smiling and looking around the booth for support.

But Fox announcer Tim McCarver reacted as if POTUS had told another Special Olympics joke. McCarver stayed stonefaced and silent and stared straight ahead. It was fabulous TV for everybody.

Except, you know, for fans of the Nationals.

AFTER THE JUMP: Czarniak and Rieger pile on? Tim Lincecum = Mitch Kramer? All-Star Do-Gooder Still Never a Bullet? Beer is bad at parties? Fight, fight in the comments section? Joe Gibbs Comes Back to D.C.?

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The locals got in on the slam act, too. Last night's WRC-TV sports report ended with Lindsay Czarniak pointing out that the National League hasn't won an All-Star Game since 1996.

"Must be something about the name 'National,'" said anchorwoman Wendy Rieger with a big laugh.

And as the show cut to commercial, Czarniak could be heard saying "Good one!"

Fifteen yards, piling on!

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It can't be said enough: National League starter Tim Lincecum looks just like Mitch Kramer, the ballplaying kid from Dazed and Confused. He's my favorite pitcher of all time.

Mitch, that is.

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O what a tangled web we weave...A story from GateHouse News Service in Braintree, Mass., about the pregame All-Star ceremony, in which all living U.S. presidents honored folks who won a People magazine poll about our nation's most charitable folks, identified honoree Rob Dixon as a "former Washington Bullets guard who left the NBA in 1983."

Oh, really? The Wizards organization, keepers of the Washington Bullets records, says there is no record that Rob Dixon ever played for the Bullets.

But Dixon, who runs a group that puts disadvantaged kids in college, added some run with the Bullets to his bio while trying to get voted in by People readers.

This sort of resume puffery really makes me mad, since I've so rarely mentioned my stints as goalie for the Washington Capitals or my tours as a Beatle.

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Brad Young, a high school softball coach in Walkersville, Md., has been canned by county officials because a kid's parent brought beer to a postseason team party, and another parent ratted on him to the county.

From the WTTG-TV report:

It was a cookout around Brad Young's backyard swimming pool on June 11 celebrating the end of a winning season.

"And one parent brought some beers to the party. A couple of people had those– probably no more than five or six," said Young. "No kid was uncomfortable. No kid had access to it. No kid drank. No parent got more than probably one or two beers. I did not drink."

But another parent called the Frederick County School Board, which tells FOX 5, "The incident in question took place at what is considered an official team function."

In my day, a coach's job would only be in jeopardy if he threw a team party and didn't have enough beer — for kids and parents.

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Fighter Jimmy Lange, profiled in last week's Cheap Seats column, is getting called out in the comments section of Boxing Along the Beltway, a fabulous local boxing site. Fans and handlers of fellow light middleweight George Rivera are talking up Rivera and talking down Lange in hopes of forcing a fight between the two.

Lange, the most popular fighter in the D.C. market by way of his appearance on the NBC reality show, The Contender, and his well-attended and -received shows at the Patriot Center, needs a fight, now that North Carolina boxing regulators refused to sanction his scheduled July 25 bout with Jimmy LeBlanc (record: 12–16–4, with 10 of the losses coming in his last 12 fights).

I'd never heard of George Rivera before this. But the back and forth between the Rivera side and the Lange side is enough to make me wanna see these guys go at it.

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Not just a thought, a sermon: Joe Gibbs will appear at Lon Solomon's McLean Bible Church to promote his faith and his latest book, Game Plan for Life.

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Some cancellations to report:

First and worst: Boxer Jimmy Lange's scheduled July 25 fight in Greensboro, N.C., is off. A Lange spokesman told me over the weekend that the cancellation, first reported by the great local boxing clearinghouse boxingaroundthebeltway.com, came "out of the blue" after North Carolina  authorities refused to sanction Lange's opponent, Jimmy LeBlanc. Lange's camp surmises that LeBlanc's record (12–16–4, with 10 of the losses coming in his last 12 fights) had regulators fearing a mismatch with the former cast member of NBC's reality fight show, "The Contender." Lange, from Great Falls, had hoped to use the Greensboro bout, his first outside of Fairfax since gaining TV stardom, to expand his considerable fan base beyond the beltway.

And Bruce Smith's hometown of Virginia Beach has cancelled a festival to honor the former Redskins defensive end. The cancellation comes after Smith was convicted last week of DUI, following his franchise-record-breaking third drunk driving arrest in the last 12 years.

Also, there will be no Allen Iverson Celebrity Softball or Flag Football games around here this year. The former Georgetown star's events had been held for several years at Prince George's Stadium and attracted an impressive number of big-name sports celebs to our area. Iverson this year moved the party to the Tidewater region of Virginia, the stomping grounds, so to speak, of his youth. Iverson's three-day shindig, now called the CrossOver Celebrity Weekend, was thrown over the weekend.

Tom Sedlacek, a spokesman for Prince George's Stadium, says: "We were open to holding it here again this year, and kept dates open on our calendar, but apparently there was no interest from [Iverson] to do it here."

I wonder if Iverson let Josh Howard sing the National Anthem this year?

AFTER THE JUMP: Asian Bias™ resurfaces at OTHER U.S. Open? Brock Lesnar needs some time to heel? Dan Snyder vintage videotapes? ANOTHER Sean Taylor ode?

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Back to ignoring all that Post-Racial America talk: Turns out it's not just Congressional or the AT&T National that has an Asian Bias™! Yesterday's U.S. Women's Open golf championship had Eun Hee Ji banging home a long putt on the last hole to win by a stroke over Candie Kung. First round leader Na Yeon Choi fell to ninth. Defending champ Inbee Park managed 26th place. Past winners of the three-year-old AT&T National, remember, are KJ Choi, Anthony Kim and Tiger Woods. First rule of Journalism®: Three's a trend!

The LPGA Tour, unlike the men, tried to do something to eliminate its Asian Bias™ last season, in the process revealing a profound Anti-Asian Bias™ among the folks running the tour: Commissioner Carolyn Bivens briefly instituted an "English-only" policy after a meeting with South Korean players a year ago. Really! She did! I swear! It's one of the great sports stories of our time!

Bivens' Linguistic Cleansing™ scheme was scrapped almost as soon as the Liberal Media found out about it, and now as Cheap Seats Daily goes to press, she's about to be fired. Sic Semper Douchebaggius.

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My ultimate ultimate fighter, Brock Lesnar, retained the UFC heavyweight belt with an artless pounding of Frank Mir on Saturday night. Here's what LA Times' T.J. Simers wrote of the spectacle.

"But what does this say about us, people screaming with glee because blood is running down someone's face and he's still in there punching? What does it say about violence's voyeuristic appeal, the sight of someone being choked into unconsciousness reason for howling approval?

It's hard to believe public executions wouldn't do well. And just think of the reality TV show that's sitting there waiting to be done, instead of the weigh-in, the final meal.

When you watch something like UFC 100, there's really no reason to believe there are limits to what might entertain people."

Well, I would watch a street fight video before any highlight reel from any accepted sport. I'm not proud of that, but damn if it ain't true. But the Lesnar fight was boring until after he was done pounding Mir and told the crowd to fuck off, then told prime sponsor Bud Light to fuck off. Now THAT's entertainment!

Especially after UFC 100, anybody who likes MMA but sneers at pro wrestling is clearly of the douchebaggius genus.

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The Gazette reports that Rosecroft Raceway's bankrupt owners are proposing selling out to a guy who plans to make the racetrack a gambling center, with poker and other table games and, maybe, a little horse racing. Cheap Seats Daily has just set the odds of all this actually happening at 1,000,000,000-1.

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Hogs Haven posts some interviews with then-new owner Dan Snyder from 10 years ago. Watching them, and knowing how things turned out, is like listening to George Bush talk about the need to disarm Iraq in 2003.

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A fellow named Brooks J. DeGhetto is posting on Skins fan sites about "21 Sean," a song he wrote in tribute to Sean Taylor. The critic in me says the performance is Jim Morrison-meets-"A Mighty Wind" (sample lyric: "21 Sean your spirit carries on inside of me/Wherever you are you'll be a superstar, running free/You're running free for all to see, in burgundy/and gold." Ahem.) And the rest of me says: Enough with the tributes to a guy who had about the same number of good seasons as arrests. But it takes guts to put yourself out there like Mr. DeGhetto has here. Sean would like that.

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