Gone for Good: The Washington Nationals have, contrary to all usual behavior in past seasons, won 11 of their last 12 games, including one this afternoon, and looked like a decent ball club while doing it. So naturally, manager Jim Riggleman decided this was the perfect time to resign. Riggleman apparently was bothered that the team hadn't yet agreed to pick up the option on his contract for next year. It had never really occurred to us to quit our job because our continued employment wasn't guaranteed, but hey—that's baseball. -3

All Wrong: There won't be any more confusion in the future about whether D.C. Taxicab Commission meetings can be videotaped, confusion of the sort that led to two reporters being arrested at one such meeting yesterday. That's the good news. The bad news? That's because videotaping is banned. Nothing like transparency in government! -3

Have a Lucky Day: Stop reading this item, and check your lottery tickets to see if you've won $250,000. Someone who bought a ticket at the 7-Eleven at 11th and U streets NW last week is walking around with a quarter-million bucks in their pocket, but they haven't come forward yet to claim their prize. Confidential to winning lottery ticket owner: Feel free to bring the ticket by Washington City Paper's offices for, uh, safekeeping. +1

Sharks Patrol These Waters: If a shark week falls in the middle of the summer TV doldrums and Discovery Communications doesn't affix a massive marine animal to its Silver Spring headquarters, does it make a sound? Okay, as a Zen koan, that doesn't work. But it's the right question to ask after hearing the news that Chompie will not be installed this year. The shark will be back next summer for shark week's 25th anniversary. In other news: People have now been watching shark videos on TV for 25 years. -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 50 Today's score: -6 Today's Needle rating: 44

How often do you get to say that? I'm saying it a lot lately.

To wit: For the current print edition of Washington City Paper, which, coincidentally or not, is made of the very same material as the $100 bill, while the internet version is made of nothingness, I wrote about the disappearance of the Clark Griffith League. Pick up a copy, read the column, patronize the advertisers, SOS...

I'm crushed by the league's sorry state. Clark Griffith League baseball was a seasonal institution around here my whole life, and a local version of the Cape Cod League, where the players were of college age and the bats were wood. A Clark Griffith League legend and the purest baseball man I ever met, Harry "Jake" Jacobs, lived near my boyhood home in Falls Church, and I've been going to a games for decades — though never as many as I told myself I will at the beginning of each summer. The talent level was always awesome — hundreds of pro ballplayers with some D.C. roots, including Yankees superstar Mark Teixiera and Boston reliever Jon Papelbon and Nats manager Jim Riggleman toiled in the federation before anybody knew who they were.

And, even better than the skills, the games of the Clark Griffith League always reeked of old school baseball. The Vienna Senators, a flagship Clark Griffith League franchise that played at Waters Field, a baseball megacomplex in Northern Virginia, always offered free admission, quaint promotions, and community involvement out the ying-yang. Hearing some little kid belt out an off-key version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch always got to me.

A few Friday nights ago I happened to be in the Shenandoah Valley region and caught a game of the New Market Rebels, one of the signature teams of the Valley Baseball League, the Western Virginia confederation for amateur ballers. I was in awe. Old guys walked through the grandstands all night selling Fifty/Fifty raffle tickets, the local dairy council gave away free cake and milk, and we got the off-key version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Oh, and I also got a great ballgame that went 11 innings before the Rebs lost.

The whole event got me totally jazzed about the Clark Griffith League's upcoming season.

As soon as I got home I went online to get the league's 2010 schedule, yet saw only 2009 dates listed. After some Googling and phone calls I learned that there wouldn't be a 2010 season, and there's no guarantee there'll be a 2011 season, or any more seasons of Clark Griffith League ball.

Again, I'm crushed. Turns out the beginning of the end came when the Southern Maryland Cardinals jumped from the Clark Griffith League to the Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball League. That's the third Griffith team to defect to the more Baltimore-centric Ripken in five years, and the Griffith League might not recover from this one.

In fairness to the Iron Man, Cal Ripken Jr. doesn't have a close personal relationship with the league that bears his name. Originally, his family foundation licensed the name "Cal Ripken, Sr" to the wood bat league. But recently that licensing deal has been re-written and the Sr. was taken out so as to exploit the notoriety of Cal Jr. And, if you take the money, you gotta take the heat.

And while the Ripken league flourishes, now we've got no Clark Griffith Baseball in D.C. this summer.

Hence: "Darn you, Cal Ripken!"

Hmmm.

Does this mean Riggleman had to agree to let the Lerners bring Earl Weaver out of retirement to have final say on the pitching rotation?

One fascinating (to me) part of the story that I didn't get into for space reasons: While sitting on the Anacostia building over the years, Monk and Mann, joined by Darrell Green, lobbied the residents of Sursum Corda, a low-income housing development off North Capitol Street NW, to turn control of that woeful development over to them. The ex-teammates made their pitch to redevelop the property right after the murder of 14 year-old Jahkema Princess Hansen. They did not get the job.

For both the Anacostia and Sursum Corda projects, Monk and Mann used the Bennett Group, a DC-based development firm headed by LuAnn Bennett, wife of a longtime Congressman, Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.).

Congress gave the Good Samaritan Foundation at least $775,000 in grants for the training center project.

The Bennett Group's slogan, which pops up every now and then on the firm's web site: "The bottom line for Bennett Group is value. For us, that means delivering projects on time and on budget, without compromising on quality."

That adage doesn't really jibe with what went on at the Carver Theatre site.

***

(AFTER THE JUMP: Capitals announcer blows off Falls Church High School Reunion for Fan Fest? Anacostia High has chance at Worst Season in DC High School History? Will Eastern and Spingarn keep Anacostia from their date with destiny? The Nats no longer need to consult Mapquest on the Road to 100 Losses?)

There are two big get-togethers in the area this weekend: The reunion of the Falls Church High School Class of 1979, and the Washington Capitals Fan Convention.

Because of the latter, Wes Johnson won't be able to attend the former.

Johnson is the Caps longtime P.A. announcer, and far as I can tell the only guy from Falls Church (full disclosure: my alma mater, same class as Johnson) to ever make anything of himself. The only other alum from FCHS to get the spotlight was a Pizza Hut delivery man who jumped the White House fence and got shot in 1995.

Johnson, a professional voice-over artist when not riling up the home fans from his perch in the penalty box, has been working the microphone at Verizon Center since 2000.

He says he favored an understated delivery when he first got the Caps job, but turned into the over-the-top bellower fans now know and love after a gig for a video-game producer in which he had to play an arena announcer... for gladiators.

"For that job, I put my regular voice 'on steroids,'" says Johnson, speaking figuratively in case it's illegal for P.A. guys to be juiced, "and it carried over to what I do with the Caps. And, I've found the arena-announcer-for-gladiators voice works pretty well with hockey, too."

Johnson will spend all Saturday at the Caps event, to be held at the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center in Oxon Hill. Other scheduled special guests include NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, owner Ted Leonsis, general manager George McPhee, head coach Bruce Boudreau and former fan favorites including Rod Langway, Al Iafrate, and the long-absent Dennis Maruk.

Tickets for the Caps event are sold out. If you want to go to the Falls Church High reunion, however, call 703-471-6700.

***

Anacostia has a fighting chance of posting an 0-11 season. That might well have never happened in DC high school football history. Some DCIAA teams this year have added a game to the traditional 10-game maximum slate that has long been in place for prep football.

DC football has long been a game of haves and have nots, and Anacostia is the only one of the have-nots in the public school league to throw in the extra game on this year's schedule.

Anacostia has gotten off to the kind of start that makes the winless, record-breaking season seem very possible:  The Indians are already 0-4 and have suffered some major blowouts, including a 60-0 pounding from Dunbar last week.

But ignominy isn't going to come so easily:  Anacostia has games at the end of the season against Spingarn and Eastern, the reigning kings of DC's Have-Nots.

So far in 2009, Spingarn and Eastern have a combined record of 0-4, and have been outscored 168-12. Both schools will take big time beatings today. Spingarn faces Dunbar, and Eastern, which didn't even field a football team last year, will get grounded and pounded by charter school powerhouse Friendship Collegiate.

But, Eastern has only eight games listed on its schedule this year, and Spingarn nine. So neither has the chance for Historical Badness that Anacostia does.

Cheap Seats Daily will keep an eye on Anacostia as it makes its way along the historic Road to 11 Losses!

***

Speaking of historic losers: Nats lose! Nats lose!

The 7-6 loss to the Dodgers at home gives the their 100th defeat of 2K9.

The Road to 100 Losses is the The Road Traveled for this bunch — three years in a row they've got triple digit defeats. So now the franchise has the same number of 100 loss seasons in Washington as it had in all its years in Montreal! (Anybody who says DC isn't a cursed baseball town hasn't seen "Damn Yankees"!)

One of Riggleman's postgame quotes, meant to praise his boys for not getting blown out like they got blown out on Tuesday, is an unintentional thigh-slapper: "That team's going to be popping champagne any day," Riggleman said, "and we're right there with 'em."

Well, if by "right there with 'em" Riggleman means his Nats, running away with worst-team-in-the-majors honors, are within just 39 1/2 games of the Dodgers, who've won a major-league best 92 games this year, then...OK, Coach, you ARE right there with 'em!

***

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***

The Great Dan Steinberg posts a Great Video of Ryan Zimmerman talking up D.C. United to promote next week's U.S. Open Cup championship game.

You know the U.S. Open Cup, right? That's the one where to get to the finals United had to march through neighborhood powerhouses like the Ocean City (N.J.) Barons, the Harrisburg (Pa.) City Islanders, and the Rochester (N.Y.) Rhinos, in games played at a suburban community center field.

It appears that before the promo shoot Zimmerman hit the quaalude table in the green room hard.

Either that, or like the rest of the world he can't even fake enthusiasm for the U.S. Open Cup.

AFTER THE JUMP: Keith Urban fans don't know who Ryan Zimmerman is? There is no "I" in arson? Paul Farhi goes ground-and-pound on Dan Snyder? Nats win!? Nats win!?

(Speaking of Zimmerman: I went to see country superstar Keith Urban last week at Verizon Center. He changed the lyrics of one of his many hits to include "Nationals," and told the crowd he'd gone to see the Nationals play the night before and that he'd sat in seats provided by Ryan Zimmerman. The fan response to all Urban's Nats references was equal and, well, non-existent. It was sad. Urban might as well have talked up the U.S. Cup.)

(Speaking of urban: Perhaps the chance at living closer to the SoccerPlex, host of so many of United's U.S. Cup clashes, motivated Steinberg to abandon D.C. for the Maryland suburbs. Nothing else makes sense!)

***

Nobody shows up for class reunions like football stars. But what if you burned down your high school — like, really burned it down? And what if your burning down your school meant your classmates had to spend most of their senior year shuttled around town to finish up at rival schools that weren't burned down by football stars?

Then, do you show up for your reunion?

Well, the Class of '79 at Fort Hunt High School held its 30-year reunion.

Matt Musolino didn't show, according to organizers.

Musolino was a star fullback on the 1978 Fort Hunt team that won the Gunston District title. His partner in the backfield, Rocky Belk, went on to star at Miami. Musolino was going to get a free ride to Louisiana Tech.

But then he burned down his school.

Musolino was one of three kids convicted of arson for the December 1978 fire that knocked Fort Hunt High out of commission. He told the Washington Post shortly after the trials that he went to his father's service station on Route 1 and got the gas for the molotov cocktails that they used to torch the school during a night of drinking over Christmas break. (Must have been something in the water in that area: In 1971, Fort Hunt Elementary was burned down by students, too.) To add a touch of Shakespeare to what was really just a dirtball prank gone horribly wrong: Musolino's uncle was a successful architect who had designed the school.

A million kids from our generation had probably boasted about burning down their school just like the Fort Hunt kids did –  That's the climactic scene in the Ramones' "Rock and Roll High School," ain't it? But these guys went out and did it.

I was a senior at Falls Church High the same year, and the burners were instant folk heroes among the dazed and confused adolescents in my small Northern Virginia circle.

But, don't try this at home, kids: These guys all got caught and did jail time, and they screwed up the lives of all their classmates, who had to finish the year at rival Groveton and never got to go back to Fort Hunt.

The other moral of Musolino's story, of course, is that if you do burn down your school, you won't show up for your 30-year reunion. Even if you were a football star.

***

Sally Jenkins' write-up of Little League World Series creepiness hit home with me. When I was in Little League, I practiced hard to be like Bert Blyleven. I didn't care to match the Twins' pitcher's famous curveball, Lord Charles I think they called it back then. No, I spent hours and hours trying to spit like Bert Blyleven spit from the mound during an NBC Game of the Week broadcast. And after a whole summer, I could shoot a stream of saliva a good distance without any noticeable movement of facial muscles, and without a sound. I still find myself spitting whenever I walk on grass fields. Sad but true.

Guess the ballplayers really are role models.

***

Also yesterday, Washington Post writer Paul Farhi's regular chat with his readers about local radio ("Station Break") turned into a head-to-toe bashing of all things Dan Snyder.

Farhi and his flock went after Lindsay Czarniak for wearing licensed Redskins apparel, after WRC for airing all those Redskins infomercials, after concession prices and parking and pretty much everything at FedExField, after management of Six Flags, after his deal with StubHub, etc.

It was less a chat than a stoning. And no stone was left unthrown.

By the time the Snyder crushing was over, there wasn't any time left to talk about radio.

But, if Snyder's looking for something to cling to, Farhi did have nice things to say about "Valkyrie." Now there's a zig instead of zag!

(Radio update Snyder might like: The must-surf dc media site DCRTV, meanwhile, posted a new batch of Portable People Meter radio rankings that show Snyder's WTEM beating rival new sportstalker WJFK. Tho, with WTEM in 19th place in the market, and WJFK the 20th most listened to station, neither's lighting up the market.)

***

Nats crush the next-to-last team to fire Jim Riggleman. I'm going on vacation.

***

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Good for him.

But these Friedgen-Lost-Weight stories are threatening to be like the Michael-Westbrook-Is-Finally-Focused articles that used to run around here every year at this time. Friedgen, remember, got just as much notice for dropping weight in 2002.

Friedgen had announced he was losing 100 pounds, and coerced Terp boosters to donate $1,000 per pound toward the building fund for the Gossett Team House, a facility for athletes. Whatever lbs. he lost while fundraising he got back real quick, with interest.

I always wondered if Friedgen gave the money back.

***

The Washington Post won't run Tank McNamara's Michael Vick story line.

Michael Cavna, on the Post's Comic Riffs blog, says Managing Editor Raju Narisetti decided the panels were "inappropriate."

The Post didn't censor McNamara during the 2000 football season, when the strip ripped Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder repeatedly, and honored him with its annual "Sports Jerk of the Year" award.

In a 2004  Q&A on washingtonpost.com, "Tank McNamara" creator Jeff Millar explained how and why Snyder got the nod:

(AFTER THE JUMP: Why's Snyder a jerk? In local sports radio, Ed Bradley lives on? Tom Boswell jinxes the Nats, too?)

"The contest is we invite readers at the beginning of each year to nominate someone as "Sports Jerk of the Year." This is someone who has distinguised him or herself as doing something that make him/her exceedingly unpopular. For example, Dan Snyder, the owner of the Washington Redskins won one year, likely due to the participation of the Washington Post readers. He bought the Washington Redskins from the estate of a longtime, much beloved owner and, according to all accounts, starting kicking people out of windows and starting such unprecedented revenue streams as charging admission to training camp."

***

Everybody's asking if there's enough of an audience to support two sports radio stations.

The bigger question: Is there enough local talent? Last night's evening host on WJFK was Holden Kushner, who identified himself as a satellite radio jock. He spent the earlier portions of the show railing about Michael Vick's upcoming "60 Minutes" appearance.

Kushner railed that James Brown, the DeMatha grad and longtime WTOP sportscaster back in his pre-national days, will only lob softballs. We'd find out what kind of man Vick really was, Kushner railed, if "60 Minutes" gave the assignment to Ed Bradley.

Kushner came back after the next break and, not railing, apologized for not knowing Ed Bradley was dead.

Bradley died in 2006.

Then again, it all made for some great radio. And Kushner's right about James Brown.

***

The Nationals get bombed.  Yesterday, the Washington Post had a piece summarizing the turnaround. That story said that it all started on July 24, when Jim Riggleman yelled at his team, with its then-.292 winning percentage, and the Nats went on to win 12 of the next 16 games.

To which we say: Looks like a lot of revisionist history is going on! Around here we know that the turnaround started four games earlier, with the Nats winning at just a .290 clip, when Cheap Seats Daily unilaterally declared "Thunderation" as the Nats unofficial official fight song and offered up the first of two consecutive Guaranteed Win Nights. The team won 14 of its next 20!

Sorry, Washington Post and Riggleman, but: We think we launched the turnaround!

But, while historians may one day quibble about when the 2009 Nats' turnaround actually started and who started it, there will no such quibbling about when the 2009 Nats' turnaround turned around, or who started it.

The when: Last night, with the 8-1 pounding by Atlanta.

The who: Tom Boswell, the anti-Midas who returned from a vacation after missing all the baseball gayety around here, just in time to jinx it all!

But, Boswell does do Cheap Seats Daily a solid: He uses the 20-game sample we favor, not the 16-game sample used in yesterday's  Washington Post story, to prove the Nats turnaround, thereby validating Thunderation's role.

But, whatever. All the fun's over now. Thanks, Boz!

Good thing it's football season!

***

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image courtesy of ultimatecheerleaders.com

Dan Snyder talked to the Associated Press about his 10 years as an NFL owner.

We've heard most of it before: Snyder was young when he got the team, which is the only reason he made mistakes (charging for training camp, hiring Steve Spurrier) that everybody else would have made, too. But he's learned and now it's all good.

But the blah-blah-blah ends when Snyder moans that all the good deeds he's done as Skins owner have "been overlooked, absolutely." And we're told he's really a great human being, the proof being that Snyder "received the Community MVP Award at the Washington Football Legends for Charity banquet."

Hmmm. I'd never heard of that award or group before. But with a little surfing, it turns out "Washington Football Legends for Charity"does exist, and that the "Platinum Sponsor" of the organization, meaning a provider in the top tier of funding for the Football Legends' one and only function, the very one where Snyder was confirmed as a local Gandhi, was the Washington Redskins Charitable Foundation.

Wait! I know THAT group! It's headed by....Dan Snyder!

AFTER THE JUMP: Guaranteed Win Night II comes in? Will there be a Guaranteed Win Night III? Sure, Michael Vick's rotten, but would he spit on his mom? Thom Loverro crowns the King? DC Armor is looking for a few good women?

Geezus Chrysler! Wonder how that MVP voting went down!

But, more power to Snyder. If I funded the Nobel committee, you better believe there wouldn't be room on my mantel for ANOTHER peace prize.

***

Nats win!

Back to us: Guaranteed Win Night comes in again!

Had the Great Dan Steinberg the doofus who bet $20 on the Nats over the weekend simply waited until Tuesday's Guaranteed Win Night I, then let it ride on Guaranteed Win Night II last night, he'd be sitting on 80 Large right now, instead of fondling a bum betting slip.

The Nats are suddenly a different club. Look at the proof: Last night, Ryan Zimmerman made a diving stab, got up, and DIDN'T THROW THE BALL TO A DUDE IN ROW Z!  And then Josh Willingham was so concerned about getting a triple to complete his cycle that he ran up Nick Johnson's patootie at third base, but HE DIDN'T GET THROWN OUT GOING BACK TO SECOND!

Face facts, friends: There's something happening here, and what it is is exactly clear.

It's the fight song!

What will someday be known as The Streak of '09 got started, remember, when Cheap Seats Daily made Little Jimmy Riggleman's Richard Montgomery High School cheer, Thunderation, the Official Cheer of the Washington Nationals. And, knowing that magic would ensue, we began sponsoring Guaranteed Win Nights.

The first two are in the books. Now things get tough. Here comes St. Louis. Hmmm...Rather than risk the mojo, should we put the Guaranteed Win Night gimmick on the shelf, til the Central Division leading Cards leave town?

Hell no! Instead, we sing again:

Thunder, Thunder, Thunderation
We’re the Rockets Delegation
When we fight with determination
We create a soul sensation!

And we sponsor Guaranteed Win Night III tonight against St. Louis! So go bet the mortgage and then some* on Riggleman's squad! If the Nats don't win, the rest of the year is free!

***

Mike Wise has a radio show, a column and a dog. He says and writes that Michael Vick should get to play football now. I would bet almost all NFL owners would say the same thing if cornered.

But that doesn't mean any of them will sign the guy.

***

If Wise's story doesn't put you in enough of a downer mood, then this one sentence, from a story about the recent arrest of Donnie Baseball's son, Taylor Mattingly, should do the trick: "Mattingly admitted he pushed his mother down and spit on her."

***

The great Thom Loverro writes up an amazing appreciation of King Corcoran, a former University of Maryland quarterback/bon vivant and "a poor man's Namath" who died in Takoma Park recently. I really wish I would have come across this guy.

***

Looks like the DC Armor, despite horrendous attendance and a lousy record in their first year indoors, will return in 2010. At least, the squad's dance team, the Body Armor, has taken out a want ad on UltimateCheerleaders.com for a choreographer for next season. Interested parties should have a "hip hop/jazz" background, "at least five years of coaching experience," and "open availability on the weekends." Candidates with an unlimited tolerance for watching the home team just get whupped will be shown preference.

***

*Don't really bet the mortgage and then some, dumbass...Unless you've got a big enough mattress to hide all your winnings under, that is!

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The punchline here is that the new site was founded by some of the very same folks who used to make extremeskins.com run, only to become disenfranchised after selling out to Snyder in 2005. (For the un-obsessed: Snyder made the Redskins the first pro sports team to acquire an existing fan site with the extremeskins move, one of many firsts during the Redskins owner's campaign to Control the Message.)

AFTER THE JUMP: Barry Sanders kid is BGObsessed? Extremeskins goes toe-to-toe with its founder's new website? The Great Dan Steinberg™ Some bozo bet on the Nats BEFORE Guaranteed Win Night? DC United crushes the Real Madrid of a Small Section of Northwestern New York? Still no mention of the Washington Kastles? Sports Radio mulls Erin Andrews AND lactation?

The main force behind BGO is Mark "Om" Steven, an extremeskins architect and longtime Snyder toadie who I've done my best to abuse for his toadiness in this very space. Gotta say, tho: A whole lot of work clearly went into the BGO launch. For Snyder obsessives, the competition between BGO and extremeskins.com will be at least as interesting as that between WJFK and WTEM.

It'll also be interesting to see how many Skins sites this market can support. Especially in July in a preseason not teeming with the blind optimism of the past preseasons.

***

Somebody likes the Redskins. Via The Big Lead: Barry Sanders Jr. says the Detroit Lions, the team that superfunded his trust fund, ain't his favorite NFL squad: "I’m a Redskins fan because I like Clinton Portis. They also have Jason Campell and that defense," the littler Sanders said.

***

Back to us: Yesterday, in this space, Cheap Seats Daily adopted and then led a group singalong of the Nats unofficial official cheer, Thunderation.

And we guaranteed a Nats win.

And the Nats won.

Do the math: WE'RE RESPONSIBLE!

And, since it was on us to end Jim Riggleman's Nats'-managerial-career-spanning four-game winless streak, as threatened promised, we're going to repeat the cheer here, again and again, and declare that tonight is another...you know it's coming...GUARANTEED WIN NIGHT!

You know the words! Sing with us:

Thunder, Thunder, Thunderation
We’re the Rockets Delegation
When we fight with determination
We create a soul sensation!

Be like REO Speedwagon and don't fight this feeling anymore! Together, we can re-create a Soul Sensation!

***

Now that the Nats are streaking, the Great Dan Steinberg™ somebody should double the money they lost in Vegas on tonight's game. Remember: It's Guaranteed Win Night! If the bet doesn't come in, the rest of the year is on us! And TGDS™ somebody can, you know, write about losing again and write off the loss again.

***

D.C. United survived the Real Madrid of Rochester, the Rochester Rhinos, 2-1, at the Wembley Stadium of Boyds, Md., the Maryland SoccerPlex, to advance to the finals of the World Cup of Irrelevant Soccer Tourneys, the U.S. Open Cup.

Now it's onto the U.S. Open Cup final for United, where they'll doubtless take on the Bad News Bears or Durham Bulls or somesuch in a high school gym or a cow pasture or somesuch.

***

The dwindling influence of Big Media, or maybe just Leonard Shapiro...Yesterday, the Post's veteran sports media critic went after the Sports Junkies during his review of the new WJFK.

"This is supposed to be a sports talk station," wrote Shapiro, "so why did one junky segment in the 8 o'clock hour have to focus on one of the hosts relating how his toddler son kept pulling the hair of his little sister and how he had to be placed in time out? I don't need parenting lessons at that hour."

Shapiro has never liked the Sports Junkies. But a few years ago, when Shapiro's work appeared in the paper version of the paper, the Junks might have tweaked their topics for a couple days to keep the critic quiet. But today, the first show after Shapiro's slams, the boys talked about the difficulty of getting infants to take a bottle, and lactating wives.

At least the discussion wasn't about getting Lindsay Czarniak to take a bottle or lactating Erin Andrews.

***

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"If anything, the first four games of [new manager Jim] Riggleman's tenure introduced an even lower grade of achievement and fortune. At least during the typical Manny Acta homestand, the Nationals could count on the occasional rainout to spare them from a loss."

A guy riding to the stadium in the same Metro car as me to yesterday's game was wearing a Cubs jersey and carrying a broom. And if security let him into the stadium as is, he got to use the thing.

The four-game (!) reverse sweep was all but completed shortly after Nats SS Alberto Gonzales muffed an easy grounder in the 4th inning. Chicago scored 7 runs in about the next three minutes. Nats castoff Alfonso Soriano hit a monster homer to key the rally.

But the heaviest blow in the scoring binge came when Cubs starting pitcher Kevin Hart faked a bunt, then pulled his bat back while Garrett Mock was in mid-hurl and slapped a run-scoring single to left field. This ultimate show of disrespect brought giggles from the Cubs fans, and groans from the Nats'.

In other words, there were more giggles than groans from the mostly blueshirted crowd at Nationals Park.

Bottom line: The home team needs some Thunderation!

(AFTER THE JUMP: Sally Jenkins gets grounded and pounded by anti-Lance crowd? Snyder to buy up the competition AGAIN? Brock Lesnar brings the heat to MMA Nation?

***

Great dust-up in the comments section over the weekend between Sally Jenkins and Lance Armstrong's accusers. The brouhaha surrounded Frankie Andreu, the former Lance Armstrong teammate who once said in a court case that Armstrong confessed to doping and has never taken back his words. Jenkins stopped by Cheap Seats Daily in the comments section to mistakenly say Andreu had never accused Armstrong of doping. And before she could confess and correct her error — Andreu sure had made the accusation — the anti-Armstrong crowd had taken the opening Jenkins gave them and rip, rip, ripped her.

The amazing upshot amid the flames: According to Betsy Andreu, wife of Frankie and another Armstrong accuser, Jenkins has never called either of them to talk about the doping allegations they've leveled under oath against Armstrong.

Jenkins has reasons to protect Armstrong beyond what she's disclosed here. The L.A. Times recently reported that Sony has been working up a movie of Armstrong's 2000 memoir, "It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life," a book written with Jenkins.

If that movie gets made, the book's authors would could be in for a big payday, though Jenkins herself says she has "zero expectation of even being invited to consult." If Armstrong's name gets sullied, that movie's not being made.

***

The Sports Business Journal (subscription required) is saying MLS attendance is way down this year, and that DC United's crowds are off nearly 29 percent from last year's.

But Saturday's game at RFK drew an announced crowd of 18,248. That's huge, all things considered.

Yes, there was the added attraction of a Washington Freedom preliminary game. But United kicked off at the same time that the USA national squad was on TV playing in a CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal, a much higher credibility contest.

So if Saturday's official numbers from RFK are on the level, that's means there are a lot of United fans, and not just soccer fans, in this market.

***

Rumor of the week: DCRTV is hearing that Dan Snyder's now trying to buy WJFK. That's the station that launched its all-sports format this morning to compete against WTEM, the station Snyder bought last year to, of course: Control the Message!

What would it do to Snyder's reputation if he really tried to buy up the competition AGAIN? Well, obviously, there's nothing Snyder can do to his reputation around here that he hasn't already done.

But I still say there's no way he pulls the trigger. (But, Dan, if you're really looking for more media properties: I read here that City Paper's up for auction. What about us? We're all gonna work for you someday anyway, right?)

***

Brock Lesnar's great for MMA. Luke Thomas on "MMA Nation" at WJFK on Saturday kept repeating that his ultimate fighting show got a record number of calls, and that the MMA website he runs, "The Bloody Elbow," set record after record for page views last week after MMA 100.

"Thank you Brock Lesnar," Thomas told his presumably record audience.

***

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Bottom line: The squad came out of the All-Star break in midseason form.

***

Local newspapering doesn't get any better than when KidsPost gets all sportsy and righteousy. So it was yesterday as Fred Bowen used the firing of Manny Acta as a teachable moment:

"It's always a shame when someone gets blamed for something that's not his fault," counsels KidsPost.

But after giving that sage advice to all the little boys and girls, Bowen turns into Krusty the Klown and just plain rails about the Nats as if the team owes him money:

(AFTER THE JUMP: Bowen blames Bowden? More more more on Jim Riggleman's Thunderation cheer? We now know where Marvcus Patton is, but what about the other guy? McEnroe being McEnroe?)

If you don't believe [it's not Acta's fault that the Nats blow], ask yourself this simple question: What Nationals player has proven himself to be better than the average major league starter at his position?

I'd say Ryan Zimmerman, the Nationals' only all-star, is better than the average starter at third base. But who is there after that? Cristian Guzmán at shortstop or Adam Dunn in left field or Nick Johnson at first base?

Well, Guzmán almost never gets a walk (only seven bases on balls in 72 games), Dunn can't field and Johnson gets hurt nearly every season. In addition, the Nats' pitching is awful."

Got that, kids? Blame Jim Bowden!

***

Cheap Seats Daily chooses to scape another goat for the Nats' woes: The lack of a good cheer! And so we will continue making noise about adopting Jim Riggleman's old Richard Montgomery High School fight song.

For those not among the tens of people who've read CSD this week — and we know you're out there! — here's how the song went during Riggleman's (Class of '70) day:

Thunder, Thunder, Thunderation
We’re the Rockets Delegation
When we fight with determination
We create a soul sensation!

And there's really only one reason we harp: The fight song works!

Take this from the baseball team's section of an RMHS's yearbook during Riggleman's stay at the Rockville school:

In the 21 years that Coach Henry Miles has been directing the baseball team at Richard Montgomery, he has never had a losing season and the 1969 season was no exception. The team finished in second place with a fine 9-5 record in league play and 9-6 overall. The leading batter, with an average of .318, was Gary Paquet, who also showed a fine glove at shortstop. Other batters who showed a fine bat at the plate were: Jimmy Riggleman at .297, Kenny Bell at .268 and Dan Groves at .256. R.M.'s pitching staff was the "meat and potatoes" of the team, led by Pat Pontius, who was the best pitcher in the county with an earned run average of 0.75 and a 6-1 pitching record. The other pitchers were: Bill Harrison (1-3); Tim Zetts (2-1); and Lee Branthover (0-1).

NOT ONE LOSING SEASON in 21 years of "Thunderation!" Heck, along with bringing back the Rockets fight song, why not bring back Coach Henry Miles? And Pat Pontius! He was the best pitcher in the county! With an earned run average of 0.75 and a 6-1 pitching record!

Get the band back together, Jimmy Riggleman!

(But, um, don't tell Bill Harrison (1-3) or Lee Branthover (0-1), please.)

And furthermore...the same Thunderation cheer, stolen as it was (FROM THE GIRL SCOUTS!), was used by the Richard Montgomery football team at the time. And how'd the gridiron squad do with it? SIX undefeated seasons from 1959 to 1969!

Six!

The cheer-less Nats rarely enjoy an undefeated evening!

Bring back "Thunderation," Jimmy Riggleman!

***

A bizarre where-are-they-now? situation that should interest Redskins fans is taking place in Northern Virginia. The story surrounds the disappearance of a Osama El-Atari. El-Atari was known around Ashburn as the young guy with tons of money who drove between all the restaurants he owned in a Lamborghini or a Hummer. Well, El-Atari and his vehicles disappeared lately, and it looks like all the gains were ill-gotten, with bogus insurance claims being among his alleged scams. When he disappeared, El-Atari owed millions to creditors. And when Fox-5 reporter and basketball stud Wisdom Martin went looking for him at an Original Steakhouse thought to be owned by El-Atari, folks there told him he was in the wrong place.

"Our owner is Marvcus Patton," restaurant employees told Martin.

I don't give a rip where El-Atari is. But it's good to see Marvcus, a former Skins linebacker, has ended up doing OK for himself. Despite having to grow up with one of the worst first names of all time and playing here during the woebegone Norv Turner Era, Marvcus always seemed like a great guy.

But seriously: Marvcus? What were his parents thinking?

***

John McEnroe came, saw and conquered the Washington Kastles last night, 20-19, in a match decided by something called a Supertiebreaker. Geez. I'm going to withhold interest until World Team Tennis schedules doubleheaders with roller derby.

***

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Cheap Seats Daily has learned...that new Washington Nationals manager Jim Riggleman's boyhood fight song was STOLEN!

From GIRLS!

As reported in this space the other day, Riggleman's baseball team at Richard Montgomery High School used a special cheer to get fired up before games:

Thunder, Thunder, Thunderation
We’re the Rockets Delegation
When we fight with determination
We create a soul sensation!

Well, I'm saddened to report that the schoolboy jocks filched the tune from...the Girl Scouts?

(AFTER THE JUMP: Original lyrics to the tune Riggleman et al stole? Should the Nats steal the same fight song? Snyder's own cheerleaders used against him? RIP, Six Flags Cheerleaders? Don MacLean used steroids? Slow news day?)

Here's the lyrics to the traditional Girl Scout anthem, "Thunderation."

Thunder, Thunderation,
We are the Girl Scouts across the nation.
When we work with determination,
We create a real sensation!

Thunder, Thunderation,
We are the future of our nation.
When we work with determination,
We create a real sensation!

The Girl Scouts song is in the public domain. So no money has to change hands because of RMHS's thievery.

But it just seems wrong. And, this was 1970, after all. Couldn't Riggleman or any of his teammates have called "Cooties!"?

In defense of Riggleman's RMHS: theft of the Girl Scouts song is rampant and ongoing. The tune was even bastardized by the Obama's flock during the 2008 presidential campaign.

So why don't the Nats steal the fight song and make it their own? Something like:

Thunder, Thunder, Thunderation
We’re the worst team in the nation
But when we're more than an abomination
We'll create a soul sensation!

No matter what, "Soul Sensation!" has to stay. Look at that team photo above. Title of the bio of the 1970 Richard Montgomery baseball squad: "Not Only the Ball Was White!"

***

We all know Dan Snyder loves cheerleaders. But it now looks like a dandy brouhaha is brewing between Snyder and WJFK, and it centers on the First Ladies of Football.

According to DCRTV, for WJFK's press conference at the Verizon Center on Tuesday, where the talent lineup for D.C.'s new sports station (discussed in this week's Cheap Seats column) was unveiled, Snyder's CBS-owned rival hired Redskins cheerleaders to fire up the crowd.

When Snyder learned that his own girls were being used to pump up the competition, DCRTV Dave reports, he was "pretty pissed."

Genius idea on WJFK's part, I gotta say. Straight out of the Art of War or one of those Eastern battle philosophy tomes: "Those who understood the true nature of power could easily defeat these larger foes by leveraging their supposed strengths against them."

Snyder was already mad at WJFK for snagging the Westwood One NFL package from his WTEM for the 2009 season. So if the Skins make the playoffs, the games could be heard on Snyder's foe's frequency!

Snyder, remember, hired former Westwood One honcho Larry Michael a few years ago to strengthen his media holdings. Hasn't really worked out so far.

But radio feuds are good for all concerned.

***

Speaking of Snyder and cheerleaders: His fetish for gals and pom-pons was clearest last year when he founded the Thrilleaders for his malnourished Six Flags chain. The Thrilleaders were billed as the first cheerleading squad ever dedicated to a theme park. Somebody probably should have told Snyder there's a reason it was the first cheerleading squad dedicated to a theme park. Though no official announcement has been made that the Thrilleaders are defunct after just one season, there's no record of appearances since their inaugural rollout last summer, and no scheduled appearances are listed on their home page.

RIP, Thrilleaders. We hardly knew you.

***

The Thrilleaders was surely a dumbass idea, but not the dumbest-ass idea Snyder foisted on Six Flags.

As the company is getting its bankruptcy papers in order, Six Flags has just opened a second outlet of RollerCoaster Cuts, what is designed to be a chain of hair cutteries for rich kids. The new point, in King of Prussia, Pa., will offer the same service menu as the original RollerCoaster Cuts in Hartford, Ct: kiddie manicures and haircuts named The Glammy, Zoink, Big Kapow and Blama Jama for upwards of $50.

The more I write this stuff, the more I wonder if Snyder's really rich.

***

Ryan O'Halloran of the Washington Times pummels Snyder and his pals the Lerners in his "First Down" column this morning. O'Halloran names both the Nationals and the Redskins on his list: "TWT FIVE MOST DYSFUNCTIONAL PRO SPORTS TEAMS"

"Even before training camp, speculation as to whom The Danny hires as coach in 2010 is running wild," he writes. True and amazing.

***

Bleacherreport.com profiles Don MacLean, one of the surliest Washington Bullets of all-time. He was Jay Schroeder in shorts, a West Coast guy with great talent who folks here wanted to love but just couldn't. This piece doesn't have enough info for local fans about his sad stay in DC — not even a mention of his breaking a thumb in a Baltimore bar fight in 1995 while already on the Bullets injury list for bad knees, adding six weeks to his down time.

But the story more than makes up for it by including some awesome trivia about MacLean. First, he is UCLA's all time leading scorer, over "Kareem, Walton, and Reggie." Who knew? And, best and worst of all, MacLean was the very first NBA player ever popped for steroids.

After the bust, Charles Barkley went public with his defense of MacLean: "I've seen Don MacLean naked, and he doesn't use steroids."

***

The day after the All-Star game was always known as the slowest sports day year. It's a little different now. There's no baseball, obviously, and golf tournaments or auto races never took place on Wednesdays. But we now have the WNBA scheduling events during these doldrums, knowing they'll get coverage.

So: Mystics lose in San Antonio, 79-78.

It's still a slow sports day, is what I'm sayin'. But if you've read this far, you knew that.

***

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After decades a couple weeks of rumors, this afternoon at the Verizon Center WJFK-FM brass will officially announce the station's flip from man talk to sports talk.

All the highlights of the new lineup — eight hours a day of Mike Wise and LaVar Arrington –  and the date of the switch, July 20, have already been leaked.

***

On the team's downest day of the season, the Wall Street Journal kicked the poor Nats in the nads. Here's the lede of the paper's coverage of the Sonia Sotomayor coverage, a story titled "Hearings Reflect Broader Struggle":

Much like the Washington Nationals baseball team, which has known since springtime that it has no realistic chance of winning a pennant this year, Republicans in the Senate knew before they took the field Monday that they had no realistic hope of defeating Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.

So GOP senators, like the Nationals, are left to ask themselves: What are we playing for here anyway?

"What are we playing for here anyway?"

They're really asking themselves that? Well, if the GOP Senators are at all like the Nats, specifically .196 hitter Austin Kearns, then they could answer themselves: "We're playing here for $8 million a year!"

(After the jump: Six Flags goes with mayo substitute? Jim Riggleman's high school cheer? DC Divas back on top?)

And, for crissakes, given how tough a day it was for the franchise, couldn't the Journal have made it easier and kinder and gentler just gone with some WASHINGTON SENATORS simile?

***

In case you missed it: Manny Acta's replacement Jim Riggleman was a "soul sensation" during his days at Richard Montgomery High in Rockville.

Here's his old baseball team's cheer: “Thunder, Thunder, Thunderation, we’re the Rockets Delegation/When we fight with determination, we create a soul sensation!”

Damn, that's funny.

I remember playing in a softball tournament years ago and just before our game started the opponents got together and screamed the theme to "Rawhide" to get fired up. We knew they were going to whup our ass. We were right.

Why don't teams have cheers anymore?

***

The D.C. Divas surrendered a touchdown and the lead to the Boston Militia with less than a minute left in Saturday's IWFL Eastern Conference Championship game. But Diva Tara Stephenson returned the ensuing kickoff for a touchdown, giving D.C. a berth in the July 25 league title tilt in Austin, Texas.

The Divas, now 10-0, were forced to play in Boston after getting screwed and losing their #1 ranking to the Militia in the Massey Ratings, the ranking system used by the IWFL to determine playoff seeding.

After this win, the Divas head into the league championship with the top spot in the ratings.

***

Speaking of screwed: Dan Snyder's nothing-left-to-lose theme park chain, Six Flags, has signed an endorsement deal with Miracle Whip.

Yes, the mayonnaise substitute. Under the deal, Six Flags will now begin selling a "specially-themed and branded sandwich" at its parks called the "Miracle Whip Roller Roaster" and will put discount coupons on "20 million" tubs of the goo at stores nationwide.

This comes just after Six Flags agreed to make Anatomic Global the “Official Mattress” of the parks, and started actually selling the beds through the  parks ($1,299 in queen size).

Here's the official explanation given by Six Flags for the condiment alliance: "The companies will collaborate on a co-branded marketing initiative designed to reach consumers through multiple platforms and marketing touch points including grocers' shelves, digital media and targeted in-park signage at key rides and attractions."

One word: Huh?

I mean, sure, that quote, coming from the company's PR staff, makes Six Flags' bankruptcy understandable.

But I'm still going to have to ask Dan Savage what sort of things folks at a theme park could do with a tub of Miracle Whip and a queen-size mattress.

***

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Mere hours after the Washington Nationals named a new manager, local genius and longtime City Paper person Dave Nuttycombe sent me some photos from an old Richard Montgomery High School yearbook of the small, tough kid known around Rockville as "Little Jimmy Riggleman."

Apparently Riggleman, a jocky sort, grew enough right after his 1970 graduation to make everybody drop the "Little" in his nickname.

Best of all, back in Riggleman's day, the school baseball team, called the Rockets, had an awesome rally cry. The climactic couplet:

"Thunder, Thunder, Thunderation, we're the Rockets Delegation/When we fight with determination, we create a soul sensation!"

After the jump: Check out the Richard Montgomery team photo (with Little Jimmy circled) and try to tell me that "soul sensation" doesn't come to mind!