Canine Murder Mystery: On April 30, a family dog residing in the 5300 block of  B Street SE was fatally shot through the neck. The Humane Society reports that the dog, a four-year-old lab named Bear, was playing in the backyard when it was murdered. One of the dog's family members heard the gunshot and rushed out to find the animal bleeding. The canine was transported to an animal hospital but was unable to survive the severity of its wound.

The society knows of no reports of  Bear being a nuisance, so the motive is unknown. A $1,000 reward is being offered for information relating to the killing. Anyone with info can contact  Humane Law Enforcement at 202-BE HUMANE.

Bad News Bear: Police in Frederick, Md., say a black bear cub they were tracking through various neighborhoods on  May 4 "disappeared" onto a farm as cops tried to figure out what to do with it, according to WaPo. The disappearance was extremely unfortunate as the cub wound up dead sometime later.

State police said they were notified at 12:23 a.m. Monday that the animal had been struck by a vehicle and killed on Route 340 near Ballenger Creek Pike.

Kitty Gets Cut: Investigating a report of a cat stabbing on May 5, a city humane law enforcement officer arrived at a residence in the 300 block of 50th Street NE There, a female resident  explained that the feline had come in bleeding. The officer observed " an adult male orange domestic short hair cat with a small wound, about the size of a dime." The humane society is investigating.

Mutt Not Mangled: Responding to a report of a mutilated dog in the 1000 block of Bladensburg Road NE on April 27,  an animal cop found a dog in the tall grass of a yard. The officer noticed that one of the dog's eyes was half closed and that there were "numerous scars" on its head. The dog seemed dizzy and clumsy as it walked. The officer concluded that the dog wasn't mutilated, but suffering from a neurological condition.

Pooch Possibly Poisoned: "I wanted to alert our neighbors that our dog was possibly poisoned last night," writes  Hill East Listserv poster  Sheila Samaddar on May 4, " the dog had shown no signs of any problems whatsoever and had previously been healthy, happy and active. But within an hour and a half the dog had taken a turn for the worse, she says. Suddenly he had an "inability to breathe well, swollen abdomen and profuse bleeding."

Later, at a vet's office, the bleeding worsened. The dog's health continued to decline and the doctor was unable to save him. The vet asked if the dog had ingested any rat poison.

The poster has her suspicions as to who might have poisoned her pet: "My husband had been asked earlier in the day by 2 men walking by 'where is that big dog of yours' and is his[sic] still 'around'?  He thought nothing of it at the time, but now wonders if they baited him and/or threw something into our yard."

Photo by tipiro Creative Commons Attribution License

Nocturnal Animal: On April 12, the Humane Society received word that three cats and one dog had been abandoned  in a home on the 1200 block of Stevens Road SE. An animal cop investigated but  found the pets hadn't been discarded. The owner of the animals just worked nights.

All Dogs Go To Heaven: An HLE officer was called to the 400 block of 15th Street NE regarding a dead dog. When the officer arrived, she found a deceased pit bull in an unsanitary wire cage. The body of the dog appeared to be emaciated. The carcass has been transported to a forensic veterinarian and the Humane Society is investigating.

Source: Washington Humane Society

Sports leagues, like romantic relationships, can't survive taking a break. Last year AFL owners thought they were different, announcing that while they'd be spending the 2009 season apart, they weren't breaking up.

Again: Just need some space. Just taking some time off from each other before getting back together.

Well, this week, several AFL owners leaked to the press the date that they'll be getting back together: The 12th....OF NEVER!

The AFL is dead.

The disbanding means, alas, Dan Snyder won't ever bring us the AFL team he promised back in 1999.

(AFTER THE JUMP: MMA is the next arena football? How many Redskins blogs are out there? Dan Steinberg marvels at whose muscles? The Washington Times toasts Bruce Smith? Michael Vick is partying where? The Nats are still playing?)

Snyder bought the DC franchise rights for the AFL shortly after taking over the Redskins. He said back then that he was going to name the indoor team the Warriors, and registered trademarks for that name and for an arrow-and-feather logo and helmet design.

Then Snyder never made any move toward putting that team together.

At the time, I figured Snyder only registered the marks because it looked like he could lose federal trademark protections on "Redskins" for being racist, and he wanted a fall-back name ready.

All these years later, I still agree with myself. Guess we'll never know what his real intentions were.

No official announcement of the league's disbanding has yet appeared on the AFL's web site.

However, the league's "Mission Statement" is still prominently placed:

“To serve our community with pride and passion as a quality example of individual and team excellence on the field, in the office, at the arena and within the community by consistently exceeding our customers’ expectations by demonstrating the highest character, appreciation and respect for our game, customers, teammates and partners as a cost-effective and visionary organization providing a total entertainment experience.”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....Among the few things I can think of more boring than reading the AFL Mission Statement is watching an arena football game.

Columnist Ray Ratto takes the indoor football and runs with it. Ratto links indoor football with Twitter, and says UFC is the next AFL.

I agree.

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In case you missed it: Dan Snyder's SIX Flags lost another $121 million-plus change this spring. Who's to blame? God, government, Mother Nature, Swine Flu, Jesus' death, and minimum wage employees, say Dan Snyder and Six Flags co-captain Mark Shapiro.

And so what if Six Flags is in the toilet? Dan Snyder just wants to win, dammit!

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The Great Dan Steinberg marvels at the big muscles the Redskins have. Thank goodness the NFL has been so out-front in the drug testing realm, so that I and other media types, not to mention all football fans, don't have to waste a single second wondering whether ANY of these behemoths achieved this unnatural looking state through any means other than just eating real good and throwing lots of steel!

Way to keep it clean, NFL! Just say no, kids!

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The Michael Vick Watch goes on off the football field, too. An event called the "Michael Vick Community Celebration" scheduled for this weekend in his hometown of Newport News, Va., was cancelled because, organizers said, Vick had to be in Atlanta for a Humane Society event.

But then no animal rights types in Atlanta would confirm that Vick is supposed to be there, either.

The big questions: What sort of creeps would organize a Vick "celebration" now? Who can even be near the guy and look at him without thinking, "Yucky!"?

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Speaking of troubled Tidewater athletes: Real odd story in the Washington Times with longtime football writer Dave Elfin working mightily to try to rehab Bruce Smith's image just after the Hokie/Bill/Redskin's conviction on a third DUI arrest in 12 years.

The city of Virginia Beach cancelled a party that was going to celebrate Smith's induction to the Hall of Fame because of his drinking and driving problems.

Elfin argues that for a guy with three DUI arrests he's great with kids, and a great businessman, too, for a guy with three DUI arrests.

"If I hadn't done what I did on the football field," Smith  says of his buying things for an old football coach in his hometown, "I wouldn't have been afforded the opportunity to give back in such a fashion."

Well, there's that, Bruce, plus: you'd be in jail now.

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The blog DC Pro Sports Report has a compendium of all the Redskins sites out there. Good god, you won't believe how many there are.

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Nats have a six-run eighth and beat Florida, 6-4. Greatest comeback win of the season! Three-game winning streak!

Uh, oh! This just in: Until further notice, it's still football season! Just as things were getting exciting! Darn!

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Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com