You Just Lost Your Tip, Buddy:

Other uses for the iPad?: On June 12, District cops busted nine suspects for peddling sex over the Internet. In an email, cops revealed that authorities cooperated with "the management of various PSA 307 hotels" to bust the sex workers:  "Along with these arrest came the seizure of various electronic items that were utilized to enhance their trade..."

Bad Sign: On June 8, cops had to call in a sign language interpreter to sort things out after an argument between two deaf D.C. residents turned deadly. It happened at a residence in the 4300 block of Livingston Road SE. According to cops, after a heated exchange, "the suspect used a knife in the kitchen, and stabbed the victim to the left side of the stomach."

Sexual Assault in Rockville: Maryland police are looking for two suspects they believe responsible for a June 13 sexual assault. The assault took place at about 12:30 a.m. in the area of Aspen Hill Road and Veirs Mill Road in Rockville. According to cops, "The preliminary investigation revealed that the 26-year-old female victim was walking along Veirs Mill Road when she was accosted by two male subjects. The two males forced the victim into a wooded area along Veirs Mill Road and sexually assaulted her. After the assault, the victim was released and she called police."

I'm Your Private Dancer: An MPD first district listserv poster reports that on June 9 his wife encountered some disturbing morning nudity:

Yesterday morning (approx 0720) my wife was approached by a man on the 900 block of 10th Street NE. He was stumbling and seemed to have mental/SA issues. Black male, approx. 6'2", very skinny 110 lbs. He proceeded to take off his clothes and flash my wife and a few passing cars. He repeated this a number of times, and attempted to approach my wife as she walked back to our home."

The poster said he and his wife spotted the possibly deranged stripper again on K & 10th Street NE the next morning "wearing very little clothing." Cops have promised to be on lookout for the Chippendales wannabe.

Well, Ben, meet Peter Nickles. He's not so bad at hardball himself.

Yesterday, Nickles filed suit [PDF] against Jacobs and fellow JBG principal Kenneth Finkelstein, plus a trio of corporate entities, alleging that they have illegally interfered in the hotel's construction.

The District is suing "in its common law parens patriae capacity to protect the interests and well-being of the citizens of the District of Columbia." The suit accuses the parties of making "false and frivolous" and "extortionist" challenges to the process in which Marriott was selected to build the hotel in what is termed an "illegal scheme" and a "civil conspiracy."

How's that for hardball?

One of the available menus at Loews hotels includes sundried tomato fettucini, salmon, blue corn, and eggs made to order. And just as you suspected, those are the room-service choices for dogs. The Presidential Pooch Package is part of Loews' celebration of, wait for it, the indoguration. Starting at $169 a night (depending on the package and the hotel), the pooch package includes the "Stars and Stripes" room service for dogs and a patriotic-themed bandana for the dogs to take home as a keepsake. (Notice the model above.) It does not include someone else following your dog around to pick up his undigested blue corn.

The package is, of course, offered at the D.C. Loews hotel, the Madison, at 1177 15th St. NW, but that prime-location hotel is, of course, booked for inauguration week. Don't fret, though. Your pampered puppy can have  pasta at this special rate for the first 100 days of the Obama administration, so through April 29.