D.C. Votes! The election that Professional Washington devoted its last year to predicting may be taking place everywhere but the District. But polls are open here in Our Nation's Capital, too. Not much drama to report: Even without Democratic primary loser Adrian Fenty's tepid opposition to a write-in effort on his behalf, it's a good bet that Vince Gray will emerge triumphant. Still, election made makes up for its lack of excitement via a dose of low-comedy: This morning, a District Board of Elections and Ethics tweet announced that a voter had tried to use a hand-stamp to write a candidate's name. Which wouldn't have been a problem, except that the voter was voting on a touch-screen ballot. +2

Moonies Rising. A year after gutting its staff, killing its Redskins coverage, and generally giving up the pretension that it was a normal newspaper and not a right-wing 'zine, The Washington Times says it's reviving sports, metro, and entertainment coverage. You'd have to be brainwashed in order to double-down on a broadsheet in the current media environment, right? Don't answer that: The changes were announced as control over the paper shifted from one feuding branch of the Rev. Sun Myung Moon's family (the one that saw the paper as a giant money pit) to another (the one that spent a quarter-century shoveling dollars into said pit). +3

All the President's Rumormongers: Remember when the D.C. commentariat got all excited for about 24 hours about that rumor that Barack Obama would dump Joe Biden in favor of Hillary Clinton for the 2012 veep spot? "I kind of started the rumor," D.C. investigative-reporting super-duper-super-ace Bob Woodward told a Georgetown crowd, according to a Georgetown Dish report. (The audience laughed, according to the website's report.) We preferred it when Woodward was starting better rumors, like the one about how the President of the United States had conspired to cover up a break-in against the opposition party that was organized by his henchmen. But it would have been cool if he'd spent 1972 reporting on plans to drop Spiro Agnew, too. -3

So Devious it Just Might Work. So, here's the scheme. First, the Redskins get rid of Jason Campbell in favor of aging veteran Donovan McNabb. Then, they improbably bench McNabb at the climax of last week's game, and proceed to audition JaMarcus Russell—the very guy who Oakland cast off before they nabbed Campbell. A ludicrously bad trade-off...or a scheme so brilliant it could only have been hatched by the razor-sharp strategic mind of Daniel Snyder? You decide. -1.

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 46 Today’s score: +1 Today’s Needle rating: 47

Quaid and Moore will star in an HBO movie called The Special Relationship. Which would be totally gag-inducing if the story centered on Bill and Hillary instead of Bill and Tony Blair, and "the unique and sometimes turbulent political relationship between the newly installed PM and the U.S. president."

Martin Sheen will again play Blair. (Already knocked that one out of the park in The Queen, as well as in the 2003 TV movie The Deal. Geez, Hollywood, how about giving someone else a chance?)

Story at Variety.

To paraphrase President-elect Obama: "When people get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward candidates who actually have a hope in hell."

But to assume these two were the only major write-in players would be to underestimate the imagination and pluck of the American people. As Matt Dunn of the New Jersey Star-Ledger sagely observes:

Voters in Cumberland County unsatisfied with the choices given to them on Election Day chose to vote on their own terms in this year's election. The write-in candidates stood little chance of defeating those candidates whose names were listed on the ballot, but that didn't stop voters from exercising their right to vote for whomever they saw fit.

Below the jump, some of my favorite write-ins from Ohio, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Florida, and D.C.

Stark County, OH: Hello Kitty; Captain Morgan; Alfred E. Neuman; Ted Nugent; Jesus Christ the Lord; Jesus of Nazareth; Bengals wide receiver Chad Ocho-Cinco (1 vote apiece).

Cumberland County, NJ: Mitt Romney (3); Paris Hilton (1); Newt Gingrich (?)

New Hampshire: Bill Clinton (13); Chuck Baldwin (226); Sarah Palin (18).

Duval County, FL (via Ben Smith): Chuck Norris (2); Mickey Mouse (3); Rudy Giulliani [sic] (4); God (6); Weird Al Yancovic [sic] (1); "They Both Suck '08" (1); "none of the above" (23)*.

Washington, D.C.: Ted Scheinman (at least 1).

If you require further proof that hope springs eternal, I can't really help you out.

*Tied with Jesus.

Huffington Post reports that President-Elect Obama offered Hillary Clinton the Secretary of State job. Jake Tapper at Political Punch captures the Clinton-for-Sec. buzz as well.

I'm not so sure this is a good idea. Yeah, I know Team of Rivals. But it's Hillary. And it's Hillary and Bill all over again. Slate thinks Richard Holbrooke would be the better choice. Do we really need a diva in the State Department? Wouldn't Hillary try to overshadow Obama? Or is this some stroke of genius? I don't think this has anything to do with Obama attempting to placate Hillary primary voters.

Huffpo writes:

The offer shows that the Obama team is, in fact, serious about bringing all types of political officials — former foes included — into its governing tent. During the Democratic primary, Clinton was often accused by aides to Obama of inflating or over-dramatizing her foreign policy experience.

As for Clinton, the Secretary of State post offers her tremendous responsibilities as well as a national platform from which, theoretically, she could launch a second White House run. But it also takes her away from the domestic issues, like health care reform, that she seemed poised to tackle as one of the Senate's leading Democrats.