The piece takes a photo of a poster taken by FedExField security guards before the Eagles/Skins game that says "Hi to my huband in Afghanistan," and runs with it. The Great Dan Steinberg made that poster famous after fishing it out of the trash near the stadium entrance.

To be fair, Snyder has shown support for our National Defense. Well, he put out a Commemorative Sept. 11 Redskins hat that had a red-white-and-blue Pentagon stitched on to the side in 2005.

And he sold that hat for only $23.99. Plus shipping. And he kept the money. But still. Bottom line: When Military.com lowers the boom on you, something's gotta give.

And everybody's favorite magazine geared toward an audience of corporate counsel people, Corporate Counsel magazine, also jumps in this week with "Not Exactly a Banner Season for the Washington Redskins."

The publication interviews new Redskins COO and total BS'er David Donovan about the new policies at FedExField prohibiting signs and banning interviews in the parking lot, and he was also asked about fans at the Eagles game having to remove their t-shirts if the message on the garments was anti-Snyder.

"We're not trying to limit what anyone wants to say or chant or wear," Donovan told Corporate Counsel.

Wow. Thus continues Donovan's awe-inspiring streak of just saying stuff so dishonest that not even he could believe it.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Not even Corporate Counsel magazine can stomach David Donovan's whoppers? David Donovan and Dan Snyder, adrenaline rush buddies? How does a Redskins win compare to a class action lawsuit? Skins are only the third-worst team in the NFL? Bono had a hand in Cooley's wounding? D.C. United coach bails?)

Though you'd think a trade publication would be a kind audience, the tone of the Corporate Counsel piece clearly shows the writer had little trust in what Donovan was spewing about the rules changes,  as the story contains clauses like "Donovan can't account for the discrepancy," and "Donovan remains vague."

"Donovan remains full of crap" is the gist of the piece, basically.

Bottom line: When Corporate Counsel magazine lowers the boom on you, something's gotta give.

***

The Web site of DC law firm Wilmer Hale has a big write up of David Donovan's path to the Redskins.

The highlight for me was an anecdote about Donovan's first game as Redskins general counsel. That came in the comeback game in Dallas in 2005 that featured two Mark Brunell/Santana Moss bombs,  and gave the team easily its biggest win in the Dan Snyder era.

Donovan was in the visiting owners box with Dan Snyder. When the Skins came back, the story goes, "the two men enjoyed the rush of adrenaline," and Snyder "grabbed Donovan by his jacket" and yelled “This beats asbestos lawsuits, doesn’t it?”

***

Everybody agrees this year's Redskins are bottom feeders. The Sagarin poll now puts the Skins as the 30th best team in the NFL. The only squads ranked lower are Tampa Bay and St. Louis, the only teams Washington has beaten this season. The two teams just above the Skins in the poll are Detroit (29) and Kansas City (28), each of whom beat Washington for their only victories.

The Redskins schedule thus far, says Sagarin, ranks as the easiest in the league.

***

Redskins fans have thrown out an interesting theory about the injury: Bono broke Chris Cooley's leg! Had Dan Snyder not thrown a midseason concert at FedExField, the theory goes, the field would have been in finer shape and Cooley's foot wouldn't have hit whatever caused it to roll over.

The turf at FedEx during the Eagles game sure did look faded and sandy, nearly a month after the U2 concert there drew 80,000 or so. (Watch the sand fly off everybody's feet here during DeShawn Jackson's long run for a TD.)

As for motive: I was at a U2 show in 1987 at the Redskins former home, RFK Stadium, where Bono separated his shoulder during a fall. Hmmm.

***

DC United Coach Tom Soehn won't be coming back. United just put out a press release saying it was all Soehn's decision to leave the team when his contract runs out after this season.

The release:

Tom Soehn removes name from consideration for Head Coach of D.C. United

Process for finding United’s next head coach will begin immediately

Washington, D.C. (November 3, 2009) – D.C. United announced today Head Coach Tom Soehn has removed his name from consideration for United’s head coaching position ahead of his contract expiring at the end of the calendar year.  Soehn served the Black-and-Red as an assistant from 2004-2006, before leading the club to two major trophies, a Supporters’ Shield in 2007 and a U.S. Open Cup in 2008, in three seasons as head coach.   The process for finding United’s next head coach will begin immediately.

“Tommy has done an outstanding job at D.C. United, first as an assistant and then as our head coach,” said United President and CEO Kevin Payne.  “Over the past three seasons, Tommy has faced greater challenges than any other Major League Soccer coach.  His record in all competitions this season was outstanding and he should not be judged on the basis of missing the MLS Cup Playoffs.  Tommy is a fine young coach and I know we will face him in the future in MLS play.  I wish him all of the luck in the world.”

Soehn was named Head Coach of D.C. United on December 21, 2006.  The Black-and-Red won the 2007 Supporters’ Shield and the 2008 U.S. Open Cup under his guidance.  In all competitions, Soehn posted a career mark of 55-48-31.  United was 36-30-24 in League play in his three seasons at the helm.

“My family and I have spent a lot of time in reaching this very difficult decision,” said Soehn.  “I've been fortunate to spend the last six seasons with this organization.  I'd like to thank the staff and fans for their support throughout my tenure.  In particular, I'd like to thank Kevin Payne, Dave Kasper, Chad Ashton, Mark Simpson, Francisco Tobar, Brian Goodstein, David Brauzer and the entire technical staff.  When you're in this business, the experiences you face together forge special bonds and friendships that will always remain.  My appreciation also extends to the players.  We accomplished a lot together since I arrived in 2004 and I thank them for their dedication and wish them the best in the seasons ahead.”

Soehn joined Peter Nowak’s coaching staff prior to the 2004 campaign.  In three seasons as an assistant coach, United won two major titles, the 2004 MLS Cup and the 2006 Supporters’ Shield.

“I want to thank Tommy for his six years of great service at D.C. United,” said United General Manager Dave Kasper.  “He is a terrific friend and colleague, and he played a major role in the club winning four trophies during his time here.  He is a bright young coach who has a big career ahead of him.  I wish him continued success with his next coaching position and his family the best of luck always.”

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Come on, pervs: Get your name in before it's too late!

('Course, this also means time is running out on Cheap Seats Daily's ability to run everybody's fave photo.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Does Dan Snyder's vacation choice mean he's met his Waterloo? Elba is nice this time of year? Somebody wrote something nice about Dan Snyder? Really? Was it accurate? Not really? Where'd David Donovan learn to fib? Dan Snyder's poster confiscating binge was all a prank? Will anybody get a "Goofus and Gallant" reference?)

I read in the Washington Times yesterday that Dan Snyder is in France. How Freudian a vacation choice, considering the sort of slurs thrown his way these days. (Writer David Covucci got me chuckling with a piece posted at the hit-or-miss site Bleacher Report, saying Snyder' failings have been so epic that "scholars now refer to Napoleon as having 'Snyder Complex.”')

If Snyder stops at Elba, would he be allowed to leave?

***

Nothing nice has been written about Dan Snyder for years. Three years, to be pretty exact. That's when "The Dan Snyder You Don't Know," Harry Jaffe's profile of Snyder, showed up in Washingtonian magazine. Jaffe's story has over the years been regularly posted on Snyder's message board, ExtremeSkins.com, when the Skins owner's getting the crap beat out of him. It was posted again there yesterday.

Snyder was talking only slightly less to the press then than he does now, so Jaffe must have worked incredibly hard to get a sit-down. But the story, which came out in the September 2006 edition was an Instant Classic — for all the wrong reasons. Reading it now, you wonder what date-rape drug Snyder snuck into Jaffe's tea before he started typing.

Jaffe's Dan Snyder was a Dan Snyder we didn't know, all right. His Dan Snyder is "not even close" to being a "spoiled, greedy, power-hungry rich" guy like other NFL owners.  He's "playful, and shockingly normal," a guy who goes to "Ben’s Chili Bowl in DC at 1 am with his buddies."

And, ethical? Read on!

No one has questioned Snyder’s corporate dealings. He likes to say he has never been in court.

“I am a goody two-shoes,” he says. “Business ethics are important to me.”

Jaffe had somehow missed or forgotten about the FCC's reports about Snyder's pre-Redskins business, Snyder Communications, and all the million-dollar shenanigans it pulled through "slamming," or switching consumers' phone companies without their consent. In one of the investigations into his company's shenanigans, investigators for the State of Florida found that Snyder "forged the signatures of hundreds of customers on letters of authorizations purporting to authorize a change of customer's resubscribed interxchange carrier." (The Washington Post's investigation into the Redskins relationship with scalpers, remember, included charges that Snyder's employees were forging folks signatures on season ticket contracts.)

The hits just keep coming from Jaffe. Snyder, we learn, was actually patient with Norv Turner after buying the team in the summer of 1999.

"Snyder stuck with Norv Turner through the 1999 season, which was lackluster," Jaffe wrote.

"Lackluster"?

Well, actually, 1999 was the best season that the Skins have had under Snyder. That team won the NFC East and hosted the only playoff game ever played at FedExField. Yet Snyder somehow stuck by Turner throughout the year! Bravo!

Snyder, were also told in Jaffe's piece, began charging admission to training camp "in 2003."

Well, actually Snyder charged $10 admission and $10 parking fees in 2000 — the very first training camp he hosted. The date change is important, because it shows that as soon as Snyder could gouge the fan base, he did gouge the fan base.

To be fair, there are some enlightening parts of Jaffe's tale. As Jaffe relates an anecdote that's meant to show how much fun Snyder is, we learn where David Donovan, now the Redskins Chief Operating Officer and Fibber-in-Chief learned that honesty ain't a policy with Skins management.

Take the time Redskins general counsel Dave Donovan went to his first away game at the St. Louis Rams’ domed stadium. Snyder and [minority Skins owner Dwight] Schar saw him calling his wife and family on his cell phone to say how cool it was to be in the stadium before the game. They called the head of security and asked him to send two cops and “arrest” Donovan, saying it was illegal to use a cell phone in the stadium.

Donovan was escorted across the field. It wasn’t until he got to the other sideline that they told him it was a joke.

“We were laughing so hard we almost peed in our pants,” says Snyder.

Well, we can only hope Snyder was wearing Depends when Donovan went on WJFK earlier this week to say that there weren't many Philly fans at FedEx for the Eagles game, that the Redskins don't sue their fans, that only a few posters were confiscated by security at FedEx on Monday, etc. Though, come to think of it, Donovan says he's in charge of game-day operations now, so maybe when the Redskins had their security guards escort all those people out for wearing anti-Snyder t-shirts or anti-Snyder bags or carrying anti-Snyder posters, it was all a practical joke! Donovan was just funnin' with everybody! You got Punk'd, Skins fans!

And, Jaffe quotes Snyder associate named Mark Jennings describing Snyder as somebody who won't do anything "to get the next great article written about himself.”

Ain't that the truth.

I wonder if Jaffe would write anything differently if he could.

***

By now, all that's left is for Highlights to crush Snyder, and then every magazine on the rack, and every magazine off the rack, will have crushed him. Everybody who never wrote about the Skins owner has pounded him these last couple weeks.

After the New Yorker, you'd figure most publications would figure: Why bother?

But this morning, the Huffington Post still bothered. The online pub gives Bob Franken digital column inches to come at Snyder like he took Franken's money — which, in a disclosure contained in the piece, Franken says Snyder did (as a ticketholder).

Franken goes mega macro, comparing Snyder and the Redskins to Wall Street and the U.S. economy. At least that's what I think Franken did.

You be the judge:

So consider Dan Snyder and his Redskins a metaphor...a metaphor for heartlessness and incompetence that has brought things to ruin with little hope that next season will be much better since the same people will still be running things. No wonder so many are angry. A few have played the game terribly, but it's everyone else who has lost.

So I'm not the only one screaming that this is bigger than football to the point of foolishness? Cool!

Actually, I'd like to hear Highlights take on Snyder. He's providing teachable moments for all the children. And if Art Rooney was put forth as Gallant, you-know-who would make a great Goofus.

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com