Retired D.C. smut king Dennis Sobin has always loved art. He acted and directed adult films, wrote a book about how to play the guitar, and runs a gallery of prisoner-art. Most recently, he’s written a musical about being a registered sex offender.

Now, he—or someone he’s influenced—seems to be dabbling in that most controversial of mediums: graffiti.

On Wednesday, I noticed two newsboxes—one for the Epoch Times and one for the Examiner—tagged in marker with “SOBINS.COM.” The boxes were outside the Foggy Bottom Metro station, just blocks away from Sobin’s apartment.

The advertised website is a one-page portal that promises to teach you about the Sobin family, although in practice, you only learn about one Sobin. There are links to Sobin’s many projects, including CAPE-DC, which features tips about avoiding undercover police stings and a classifieds section for prostitutes (“Latin lovies at a price you can afford” !).

It’s not usual newsbox-graffiti fare. Reached on the phone, Sobin says at first he doesn't know who is doing the graffiti, although it's heartening to see someone wants to promote him.

Then Sobin clarifies.

“I do some sleep-walking myself,” he says.

What does that mean?

“Don’t rule out any suspects,” he says, then hangs up.

O Bikeshare, Where Art Thou? With the news of the expansion of Capital Bikeshare, The Hill is Home has asked readers where they might like to see a station—if the neighborhood is lucky enough to snag one or more of the 25 that will be sprinkled around the city. Two noted a station by Results Gym would be well-used, while one says that a station by Stanton Park or the Southeast Branch Library would be helpful. Another points out that the downside to CaBi's increased use isn't just empty racks: "15th St. SE and Independence is much needed. Just last night I tried to leave bike at Lincoln park, but full, then Safeway, but full, then claimed final spot all the way at Stadium Armory. Cabi is a fantastic concept, but needs 1) more locations and 2) more spaces for bikes if they continue to grow in memberships." (Bloomingdale also asked for feedback on a potential station, at First Street and Rhode Island Avenue NW, but has not yet received any comments.)

Tag, You're It II: Park View D.C. has an update on graffiti removal in the neighborhood. It might not be top-down, coming from the authorities, but residents of Park View are getting it done: "One thing I’m encouraged by is the amount of community activism I’ve seen assisting the City try to get on top of this issue. I’ve been documenting as much tagging as possible and passing along information to assist with removal and there is a very active group of neighbors on Irving Street doing much the same along that part of the community. In several cases, residents have taken it upon themselves to remove tagging after they’ve documented it." Unfortunately, though one piece of graffiti skewed more toward street art, the neighborhood's diligence quickly gave the axe: "One victim, if you will, of the recent graffiti removal efforts was the more artistic graphic below [click through] which didn’t quite survive a day before it was removed. Sadly, it was actually the one I liked the best."

What's Worse than The Cereal Bowl? On the Cleveland Park email list, it's been suggested that a Chipotle might open in the space formerly occupied by the very short-lived (and shame-inflicting) Cereal Bowl. Chipotle could easily be seen as an upgrade from the rather gimmicky make-your-own-cereal shop, and some neighbors are definitely interested; one list member writes, "I think it would be a nice addition. It's an inexpensive place to dine." But others feel it has the potential to devastate the neighborhood's quality and character: "Cleveland Park already has a California Tortilla at 3501 Connecticut (across the street from the proposed Chipotle). A second fast food Mexican-type chain restaurant will detract from the charm and variety of the neighborhood." For now, we'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it's the "chain" part, not the "Mexican" part, they were objecting to.

Palisades, ISO: A member of the Palisades email list is planning quite the party and has asked for some neighborly loans in a thread entitled "ISO Alice in Wonderland tea/croquet unbirthday party props tomorrow:

"Hey we are having a Wonderland tea and croquet party for my 8 YO daughter, and bought some props online etc but need more–if you have any of the following to loan/sell /give away, please let me know!

-fake flamingos (or hedgehogs) for a flamingos and hedgehogs croquet match
(or an old croquet set–we have a pristine one on loan, but the flagstone patio could destroy it)
-chinese lanterns–any lit/not lit, single/strung, paper/fabric/ plastic, size/shape/color
-teapots cups and saucers worthy of the mad hatter tea party (have not had luck at local op shops)
-oversized tophat or clock/pocketwatch prop
-several clear drink/food-safe bottles–either former beer/sodas to be capped by a beer capper or vial-like ones, for "drink me" drinks–can vary.

Any other random things you may have, like a large mushroom and caterpillar (we have a hooka prop) , signs that say "this way" and "that way" or best of all, astroturf for croquet match–are appreciated also.

If anyone has ideas on how to create an exploding cake, let me know! Thanks!!"

Though the "unbirthday" scene is a famous one in romp that Lewis Carroll's Alice takes through Wonderland, one has to ask, as it's not made clear: Is this list member planning a birthday for their 8-year-old daughter...or an unbirthday? If it's the latter, it'll be an unbirthday the likes of Palisades probably have never seen.

Columbia Heights, Mt. Pleasant, July 13th

The Issue

Parks and Preservation: "The picnic table has been there for half a century," says John Cloud, a proponent of keeping the table. "What's the problem?" For Cloud and his allies, keeping the table is about historic preservation. If the boards are splintering, Cloud says, just put down new planks. In e-mails about the park, there's even talk of people chaining themselves to the table to save it.

Cloud is a former member of the Fund for Kalorama Park, the main advocate of all the changes he now opposes. From the beginning, he says, the Fund and the Department of Parks and Recreation colluded on selecting an anti-erosion plan for the park "in ways that I don't fully understand."

Cloud also accuses a contractor of dumping clay unearthed at nearby Mitchell Park on Kalorama. That investigation prompted ANC 1C Commissioner and Ward 1 Council candidate Bryan Weaver to describe Cloud as "Inspector Clouseau meets Perry Mason."

These disputes between the Fund and its opponents have slowed down construction on the park.

"Were it for not them, I think the project would have been completed last summer," says Matt Forman, the Fund's treasurer.

Perhaps the strangest part about the park table debate is the sub-issue of whether calling someone one of the Seven Dwarfs is a compliment or an insult. After Cloud referred to "the Seven Dwarfs of the Fund for Kalorama Park," Fund member Colin Clark shot back.

"I'm proud to bear the label," Clark writes in an e-mail to Cloud and others. "They whistled while they worked! Try it."

Hit the Bench: "[The table]'s just not safe," says Forman. He thinks the table's protruding screws and splintering seats are dangerous to everyone who visits the park, especially children.

The Fund wants to replace the table with a new, already-purchased table made by Victor Stanley, a Maryland-based outdoor furniture manufacturer. Forman says he has pictures from 1964 showing no picnic table at the table's current location, meaning the disputed table can only date from the mid-1960's at the earliest.

Forman doesn't think Cloud is motivated by historic preservation. Instead, he thinks some people in the neighborhood just enjoy opposing new projects. "That's their form of recreation," Forman says. "And that's not the form of recreation the Department of Parks and Recreation had in mind"

What's Next: The park renovation is starting up again, with the picnic bench issue tabled for now. Meanwhile, both sides of the table issue continue to snipe at each other over e-mail. "If it wasn't so sad and if it didn't hold up a park in the summer time, it would be funny," Weaver says.

Photo by Matt Forman.

Dewey Beach gets its share of bathroom-stall graffiti—innuendo, phone numbers, cartoon dicks in various moods—but there isn’t much real defacement to speak of. Certainly nothing so avant garde as “tagging,” where a lone artist leaves his signature as a sign of…many artistically ambitious, high-minded things. Dewey had none of this until Turdle, an enigma armed with a magnum-sized sharpie. Dewey Times sat down with Dewey Beach Crime Scene Investigation to decipher the clues left behind in Turdle’s, ahem, art.

Dewey Times: Detective, thank you for speaking with us. When did the Turdle tags first show up?

Dewey Beach Crime Scene Investigation*: My pleasure. We first spotted the tags about three weeks ago, after the skimboarding competition. There were seven or eight of them. On the walls of businesses, alley walls. One on an electrical box.

DT: They don’t seem very big.

Dewey CSI: No. This one here was on the side of Dewey Beach Grill. He would have been in full view of New Orleans Street, not to mention Route 1. No time to risk big, grandiose statements of criminal intent. Not like I’ve seen.

DT: Like you’ve seen? Where?

Dewey CSI: Rehoboth. The big leagues.

DT: Right. So what does Turdle’s brief message tell us?

Dewey CSI: In that it was brief, we can deduce a criminal interested in mobility, flexibility. The ability to strike anywhere at any time. Look at his tag. The arrow points to the right, as if he’s just ducking around the next corner. It teases. Mocks.

DT: You sound like you’re taking this personally, detective.

Dewey CSI: You know, I’ve collared my share of drunks scribbling on walls with magic markers—talking dicks, double-D cans, you name it. Dealing with drunks, it’s like dealing with children. You anticipate that thought pattern, and punish bad behavior accordingly. With this…[pauses to light a cigarette]...you’re dealing with a sophisticated criminal consciousness.

DT: Isn’t it possible that Turdle is actually just some skimboarder breezing through the town for the competition?

Dewey CSI: Sure, it’s possible. But I don’t comfort myself with easy possibles. That’s why you’re on that side of the notebook, reporter, and I’m on this side.

DT: So have you spotted any fresh Turdle tags?

Dewey CSI: None.

DT: None since the skimboarding competition?

Dewey CSI: He vanished.

DT: Thanks for talking with us, detective.

Dewey CSI: Don’t worry. He’ll be back. They always come back.

* Parody, obviously.