The Montgomery County “Semen Squirter,” who earned his nickname by squirting semen from a squirt bottle on women at a Giant and a Michael's craft store in Gaithersburg, has now been sentenced. But he’s not going to jail.
Michael Wayne Edwards, Jr. , who was originally arrested on charges of a July 15 squirting incident, and [...]
It's the gift that keeps on giving: Gaithersburg is under attack and women are being sprayed with semen. We thought the incidents at Giant and then Michaels were bad enough, but now even more victims are coming forward. It's semen-squirting mania in Maryland!
In addition to the incident on July 15 at the Giant grocery store, [...]
Though cringe moments, I have enjoyed
Real Housewives just left me annoyed
They're filled with self-loathing
Have got way too much clothing
Their heads? Just a huge gaping void
Vince Gray's full of vigor and vim
(Or that's what he says with his trim)
The man with new glasses
Says Fenty half-asses
When jobs in this city are slim
They ranged from type II diabetic
To [...]
The now infamous Gaithersburg grocery store Semen Sprayer has been pegged in another attack. This time he allegedly squirted semen on a lady at Michaels craft store in Gaithersburg. Not even the innocent knitters are safe from semen attacks! And there could be more victims out there, police say. We can't wait to hear what [...]
We all have our groc'ry routines
And times when our rice just needs beans
If Giant is trouble
Your options soon double
When Target adds fresh leafy greens
If Metro is not how you travel
You know nearby "streets" are just gravel
To lighten your moods
The street work concludes
Before we are all start to unravel
The verdict came down on their side
The three [...]
Southwest residents have long kvetched about their local Safeway, on M Street SW. Shortages of staples such as bread and milk, produce so aged it wilts before you can get it onto the dinner table, long checkout lines—those experiences are consensus points for those who live in the city's forgotten corner.
And another point of consensus: [...]
The District of Columbia is about a month away from having to pay five cents a pop for its plastic bags, and some details are yet to be worked out.
Such as: What about the self-checkout facilities increasingly populating city supermarkets—how are they going to work with the bag fee? After all, there's no human to [...]
If you pick up a paper copy of Washington City Paper this morning, you may experience a sensory flashback to 2006, when our issues averaged 160 pages and always weighed this much. However, it's just that our fall arts guide is stuck inside! Don't panic! The newspaper business still sucks! This year's guide has listings [...]
The Issue: The never-ending battle (read: 10 years) over construction of a new and improved Giant on Wisconsin Avenue seemed to have finally ended last summer when the Zoning Commission voted unanimously in favor of the project. Not so! There's another twist that has tied things up – potentially for a few more years.
With the lamented demise of Screen on the Green, the 2009 National Theatre Summer Cinema series is one of the few free film events left in D.C. This year's series honors philanthropist/diamond-, husband-, and Oscar-collector (Butterfield 8, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?) Elizabeth Taylor.
The series–"Who's Afraid of Elizabeth Taylor?"–kicks off June 22 with Cat On [...]
For a project 10 years in the making and still not even close to breaking ground, the new mixed-use Giant grocery project on Wisconsin Avenue can really pack 'em in. About 70 people showed up last night to a standing-room-only meeting inside a hot and airless room at the Police 2D headquarters on Idaho Avenue [...]
