Barber Shop, 2001

LL and other local observers have gotten plenty of mileage out of comparing Mayor Adrian M. Fenty's executive-power-aggregating habits to those of President George W. Bush.

Let the comparisons continue!

Early in October, the D.C. Council passed the fiscal 2010 city budget, after months of wrangling over how best to deal with a late-breaking drop in city revenue. The process had not exactly been a model of interbranch cooperation, with the council jawing about Fenty's methods of closing the $660 million budget gap and Hizzoner threatening a veto over school-governance matters.

But even with the final vote, the bickering hasn't ceased. On Oct. 15, Attorney General Peter J. Nickles dispatched a 13-page memo [PDF] to Fenty, who in turn sent it to Gray. The document lays out no fewer than 16 provisions included in the budget legislation that Nickles and his lawyers found to be objectionable—including six measures, he announced, that the executive branch should ignore completely due to "problems, including separation-of-powers and other Home Rule Act violations, that prevent lawful implementation."

The practice mirrors Bush's embrace of "signing statements"—messages sent to lawmakers accompanying the presidential signature. The practice, certainly, did not begin with Bush—presidents as far back as James Monroe have made them, but the practice saw a halcyon era under Bush 43. According to one professor's analysis, Bush by the end of his term ended up challenging some 1,100 provisions in federal law—more than doubling all those issued before him.

Where Bush's memos addressed matters such as affirmative action programs and the treatment of military detainees, Fenty's memo deals with matters like taxi rates (the council has no power to set them), budget directives for the deputy mayor's office (an "unlawful management of Executive Branch affairs"), and grant reporting requirements for the Children and Youth Investment Trust Corp. (the home rule charter says the council only gets to review contracts, not grants).

But just as Bush's use of the maneuver sent Congress over the edge, Nickles' memos are driving council types crazy.

Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh says Nickles "is channeling Alberto Gonzales on an unsupported theory of executive power" and says he "doesn't really understand" the doctrines he cites. At-Large Councilmember Phil Mendelson says "much of the logic is tortured" and that it's "part of this continuing pattern of picking and choosing which laws to follow." Even At-Large Councilmember David A. Catania of all people, increasingly peeved by Fenty overreaching, calls them "an exercise in creative writing without the force of law."

As on the federal level, mayors have issued legislative memos before, but usually to accompany vetoed legislation, says Brian Flowers, the council's chief lawyer. And since Fenty has taken office, he says, the memos have been flying faster than ever before, with increasingly broad legal claims.

As for the claims in Nickles' budget memos, "Some of them are quite laughable," Flowers says. He is drafting a response.

Nickles has a fine retort to the Bush comparisons: "Why don't they criticize President Obama, who's engaged in the same practice?"

Indeed, Barack Obama said during the 2008 campaign that he and his lawyers "aren't going to use signing statements as a way to do an end run around Congress." Since taking office, however, Obama has issued dozens of his own, and Nickles says he's read them: "He ensured that Congress knows the president's view…that he's not going to interpret legislation to interfere with the Constitution."

Nickles explains his legislative memos this way: "I think the executive has the duty to stand for the executive's prerogatives. Otherwise, in our tripartite system of government, one part will run over the other part."

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

The Associated Press reports that Costco has pulled the African-American version of the "Cuddle with Me, Doll with Plush Monkey" after receiving complaints about its possible racist connotations. The white and Hispanic Lil' monkeys are still available (not racist), as is the black doll cuddling a panda (also not racist).

"We are sensitive to any complaint that a product we carry would cause discomfort to any segment of our membership," Costco CEO Jim Sinegal said in a statement. "As soon as it became clear to us that this toy item was offensive to some of our members, we decided to remove it from our warehouses. We don't believe there is room for argument in matters of this type, even though it was an honest mistake, made while we were attempting to do the right thing."

This is the latest in a string of monkey references whose propriety has been debated: There was, if you recall, the New York Post cartoon back in February that depicted a crazed monkey, shot and bleeding on the ground, as the author of the economic stimulus bill, which was either a. a "clear parody of a current news event, to wit the shooting of a violent chimpanzee in Connecticut" and a broad mockery of Washington’s efforts to revive the economy, as the Post's editor-in- chief, Col Allan, said at the time, or b. a racially-hateful depiction of Barack Obama as a primate, as the Rev. Al Sharpton insisted.

(It could also have been c. a really dumb cartoon that kind of didn't even make sense and was in bad taste beyond any discussion of race, given that the crazed chimpanzee had actually killed a woman.)

It might be noted that George W. Bush was often compared to a monkey himself, given the way he, well, looked like a monkey. Someone even started a website asking "Bush or Chimp?" that posted pictures of the two, side by side. That, of course, was not racist.

There's one difference between 'em, also: Gandhi never claimed he did.

Now, according to Dixon's charity, he'll stop making such claims.

Dixon was one of the good people featured during pre-game ceremonies at the All Star game. He runs Project Rise, a charity in the Boston area that for years has tried to get kids who otherwise might not go to college into college.

His tale was enough that he was voted via a People Magazine national contest as being among the do-goodingest folks in the country. Dixon and the other winners stood on the field in St. Louis last night as President Obama and all the living ex-presidents talked them up via videotape. Dixon was among a small group that got a personal presidential tribute: George W. Bush talked about Dixon's charity to the stadium crowd and a national TV audience. Bush didn't mention Dixon's basketball experience.

But while successfully campaigning for this People honor, Dixon claimed to have played for the Washington Bullets. That NBA experience was repeated in pretty much every news story about the People awards; he was identified as a "former Washington Bullets guard who left the NBA in 1983" by a publication near his hometown of Dorchester, Mass.

One problem: Dixon's name, according to Abe Pollin's franchise, doesn't appear on any Bullets rosters. The organization has no record that he ever did play for the team. Neither does any other NBA squad.

Turns out he tried out for the Bullets as a fifth-round draft pick in 1983, but didn't make the cut.

After being contacted by City Desk yesterday to fact check the Bullets portion of the People poll bio, Project Rise spokesman Jeff Gulko said by phone from St. Louis that after looking into the matter the charity could not confirm that Dixon in fact ever wore a Bullets uniform.

And early this morning, Gulko emailed an official statement from Project Rise about the misinformation used to win the People poll.

"Rest assured we have already taken steps to address it," Gulko wrote. "With so many young people needing assistance and so much to be done to sustain this vital program, we failed to spend adequate time reviewing certain materials. This was our oversight."

The statement has similarities to Jason Giambi's public non-confession about steroids, in that Gulko never says what apparent wrong he's addressing. But, enough already.

Bullet or no, Dixon could have taken Gandhi to the hole at will.

The Washington Kastles lost to the Philadelphia Freedoms, the team named after an Elton John song or vice versa, in their home opener last night. The big stories were the sellout crowd that filled Empty Parking Lot Arena, or whatever the temp downtown stadium is called, and the appearance of tireless Venus Williams, who gave a clinic to local kids by day and starred on the court at night.

The loss puts the Kastles at 0-3. Amazing how quickly they've blended into the DC sports scene.

***

Speaking of: The Nats lost again in Colorado. Just another day at the office for the boys: Three errors for Washington (none for the Rockies), one-run loss.

Austin Kearns, he of the $8 million 2009 salary, had a huge pinch hit single in the 8th inning. Huge not for the Nats, but for Kearns, since it put his batting average above .200 for the first time in a while. Alas, the team's mandatory all-star slot has already been filled by Ryan Zimmerman.

The Nats have a death grip on the 1st Pick in next year's draft, and are now 14.5 games out of second-to-last place in the NL East. The team can boast a record -196-run run differential differential (R2D2™) with the league-leading Los Angeles Dodgers.

Manny Acta et al will try to fight off the broom with a getaway-day game this afternoon in Denver.

AFTER THE JUMP: Inevitable Chris Cooley backlash starting already? The guy who taught us "Macaca" still thinks he's righteous? Alberto Gonzales banished to an American archipelago? The Irish play basketball?

***

Whereas being a wild ass came naturally to past Redskins wild-asses (John Riggins, Curtis Jordan, etc...), Chris Cooley's wild-assishness by now seems incredibly forced. Cooley has gotten desperate to throw his wacky side in everybody's face. Every week there's a new stunt, promoted on his blog. If it ain't a shot of his naughty bits, it's a flaming cow. And on and on.

So when somebody at Extremeskins, Dan Snyder's message board, let everybody know that Cooley will be featured on a segment of ESPN's magazine show "E60", with him playing around on a ranch, the reaction wasn't all pro-#47.

The poster SkinsTerps26, whose board signature is a photo of Cooley, singed the star like a cow carcass, and probably spoke for a lot of fans as he did so:

"Cooley being all over TV and Internet bug me," wrote SkinsTerps26. "You are a funny guy... kinda... but after the cow burning and those stupid mustard peanut butter and ham sandwiches, its time to take a time out from video appearances. Go learn how to block."

Ouch!

***

From characters to character: The Examiner reports ex-Senator George Allen is putting out a sports book. "The Triumph of Character: What Washington Can Learn from the World of Sports."

The publisher's tease says Allen is qualified for such a book because he "spent the better part of his life with one foot in both the world of sports and the world of politics." He spent the worst part of his life with one foot in his mouth. Isn't his license to ride the high horse still suspended?

But, damn, his dad was my favorite football coach of all time.

***

Another guy who left town in shame: Alberto Gonzales, the short and disgraced former attorney general, not the shortstop for the disgraceful Washington Nationals, has been hired to teach by my alma mater, Texas Tech. Gonzales probably figured Lubbock is a fine place to go when the rest of the world hates you, seeing how it worked out for Bobby Knight. If Coach Knight were still leading the Red Raiders, you know he'd be asking Gonzales to draw up a memo on how far he could legally push his players during "enhanced workouts." Those who want Gonzales tried for war crimes can take comfort knowing that while it ain't jail, a stay in Lubbock is a close second.

The town gave us Buddy Holly, bless him, but has been making up for that ever since. (Before hiring Gonzales, Tech chancellor and Democrat-turned-Republican ex-Congressman Kent Hance sacrificed whatever pride the school had trying to land the George W. Bush Library.)

***

Speaking of my roots and coaches in exile: Great story in the Washington Times about Jay Larranaga, son of George Mason coach Jim Larranaga.

The littler Larranaga is the player-coach of the national basketball team of Ireland. The squad's never been good. Writer Bob Cohn wraps up Irish international hoops history thusly: "In Ireland's only Olympic appearance in men's basketball in 1948, it lost all four games by an average of 51 points, including a 71-9 defeat by Mexico."

Ok, but in fairness to my people, folks are still talking about that '48 Mexican squad, nicknamed El Fuego Cinco*.

*Nobody's really talking about the '48 Mexican national basketball team, and they weren't really called "El Fuego Cinco." Continued apologies for my Los Lobos spanish. But the W. Times' story is really fun.

We do need to find more names for public buildings, especially in this city.  It gets confusing when you have to differentiate between which Reagan building to meet someone at, or use first names when figuring out which Kennedy goes with which arena/school/office.  But Obama's legacy is yet to be determined.  He's the first black president, which of course gives him precedence, but maybe the citizens should hold off for a few months.  Just to save the students from any possible embarrassment.

Pot is legal for sick folks according to state law in California. But DEA agents have been on a binge of raids there lately involving firms that provide medical marijuana to the needy.

George W. Bush, according to the story, always told his troops to ignore California codes.

Why would Bush, being of the party that boasts of its love of states rights, be so gung ho against pot?

It might have something to do with all the drug use he was alleged to have done during his lost years, but never confessed to.

Or the answer of his anti-pot bent might be found on another leftover from his administration: the web site of the White House Office of Drug Policy.

On the section for "Street Terms," in the B's, you'll find "Bush" listed as a cool-kids' synonym for pot.

That's gotta hurt.

'Course, you'll also find "Righteous Bush," "Bobo Bush," "Kate Bush," and "Potten Bush" on the same official White House list of marijuana euphemisms.

"Kate Bush"? For real?

Is there a chance in hell Michael Phelps or any other American stoner ever really smoked "Kate Bush"?

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of the President's speech:

The aircraft carrier which we commission today may be the Navy's newest ship — but she has already had an interesting past. Her catapult testing took place during an unseasonable cold snap. Her christening was thrown into chaos by a fierce nor'easter. And during construction, the shipyard was closed down because of Hurricane Isabel...She will carry nearly 6,000 of the finest sailors and Marines in the world. She represents the craftsmanship of many skilled builders, and thousands of hours of preparation...She's also a tribute to a new generation of American soldiers and sailors and Coast Guardsmen and women, airmen and Marines who have stepped forward to defend the United States America...I ask that God protect this ship, and let her know only victory and peace. And I ask God's continued blessings on our wonderful nation. Thank you.

I listened to some of the address, and it really came through that President Bush was talking about one helluva lady.

The lady's name? "The USS George H.W. Bush."

So why does the military only name its warships after men, but always refers to them as women?

I mean, did Bill Parcells come up with this policy?

So when Iraqi journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi whipped his shoes at President George W. Bush yesterday, Schiller was struck by the podiatro-political nexus. As he writes on his blog, "Last night I was reminded of the shoes in the memorial and conceived the idea of putting up a small guerrilla thank you note as a way to publicly thank al-Zaidi for doing something millions of people around the world would love to do if they were given the opportunity."

He put it on the plexiglas box: