Sheila Johnson has jumped in some hot water that she can't swim out of.

The Washington Mystics have been rotten throughout Johnson's run as team president, having finished in the bottom half of the WNBA's Eastern Conference all five seasons under her, and not winning even a single playoff game.

But Johnson has gotten a pretty free ride through all the on-court suckitude. She's hailed by the gay community for not pretending the grandstands ain't laden with lesbians, and, not coincidentally, she brought the Mystics back to the top of the league in attendance.

Perhaps the lack of criticism in the face of such lousiness let Johnson feel empowered to mock Creigh Deeds, the Democratic Party gubernatorial candidate in Virginia, as a stutterer during a fundraising appearance for Republican opponent Bob McDonnell. But she's finding out she's not bulletproof after all.

Read More "The Mystics President and Her Mock-aca Video" »

The Washington Kastles lost to the Philadelphia Freedoms, the team named after an Elton John song or vice versa, in their home opener last night. The big stories were the sellout crowd that filled Empty Parking Lot Arena, or whatever the temp downtown stadium is called, and the appearance of tireless Venus Williams, who gave a clinic to local kids by day and starred on the court at night.

The loss puts the Kastles at 0-3. Amazing how quickly they've blended into the DC sports scene.

***

Speaking of: The Nats lost again in Colorado. Just another day at the office for the boys: Three errors for Washington (none for the Rockies), one-run loss.

Austin Kearns, he of the $8 million 2009 salary, had a huge pinch hit single in the 8th inning. Huge not for the Nats, but for Kearns, since it put his batting average above .200 for the first time in a while. Alas, the team's mandatory all-star slot has already been filled by Ryan Zimmerman.

The Nats have a death grip on the 1st Pick in next year's draft, and are now 14.5 games out of second-to-last place in the NL East. The team can boast a record -196-run run differential differential (R2D2™) with the league-leading Los Angeles Dodgers.

Manny Acta et al will try to fight off the broom with a getaway-day game this afternoon in Denver.

AFTER THE JUMP: Inevitable Chris Cooley backlash starting already? The guy who taught us "Macaca" still thinks he's righteous? Alberto Gonzales banished to an American archipelago? The Irish play basketball?

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Alberto Gonzales Banished to American Siberia?" »