Posts Tagged ‘Gaithersburg’

The Needle: Gold Buick LeSabre Edition

No Jorts: The Department of Parks and Recreation has released an advisory on what clothing is and is not allowed to be worn in D.C.'s public swimming pools. The department is taking a particular and specific stand on jean shorts, detailing that both "cut-off shorts" and "long cut-off shorts" are verboten in the pool. -1
London [...]

Photo: Girls with Tiaras

Labor Day Parade, Gaithersburg, MD.  Sept. 3rd.  © 2012 Matt Dunn

The Needle: Streetcar Dreams Edition

A Tweetcar Named Desire: The long awaited streetcars, the savior of D.C. transit policy, have finally arrived—on Twitter, if not in real life. Many months (at least) before the first cars start running anywhere, District Department of Transportation officials rolled out a new Twitter account and website to promote the project. The good news: Now [...]

Alleged Serial Semen Sprayer Connected to Three More Grocery Store Squirts

It's the gift that keeps on giving: Gaithersburg is under attack and women are being sprayed with semen. We thought the incidents at Giant and then Michaels were bad enough, but now even more victims are coming forward. It's semen-squirting mania in Maryland!
In addition to the incident on July 15 at the Giant grocery store, [...]

The Friday Limerick Review

Though cringe moments, I have enjoyed
Real Housewives just left me annoyed
They're filled with self-loathing
Have got way too much clothing
Their heads? Just a huge gaping void
Vince Gray's full of vigor and vim
(Or that's what he says with his trim)
The man with new glasses
Says Fenty half-asses
When jobs in this city are slim
They ranged from type II diabetic
To [...]

The Needle: Spraying Semen Edition

Semen Sprayer Struck Second Spot: Gaithersburg police now say Michael Wayne Edwards squirted semen onto a woman at a Michael's craft shop, not far from the Giant where he first debuted the strangest crime the region has seen in a while. This business of spiriting semen around in a hand-spritzer and spraying it—and then photographing [...]

Gaithersburg’s Semen Sprayer Suspect Also Squirted Woman at Michaels

The now infamous Gaithersburg grocery store Semen Sprayer has been pegged in another attack. This time he allegedly squirted semen on a lady at Michaels craft store in Gaithersburg. Not even the innocent knitters are safe from semen attacks! And there could be more victims out there, police say. We can't wait to hear what [...]

Morning Roundup: Earthquake! Edition

Morning, readers. Let us celebrate the fact that Friday is upon us.
That wasn't a rumble in your stomach this morning: That was an earthquake. The 3.6 magnitude quake struck at 5:04 a.m., and its epicenter was in the Germantown-Gaithersburg area. The quake was the largest to hit the area since the U.S. Geological Survey created a [...]