So over that on WRC, Lindsay Czarniak did her sports report Sunday night without ANY visible Skins logos on her person. (Fact.)

So over that Sonny Jurgensen didn't tussle with Jim Zorn in his postgame interview. (Fact.)

So over that starting this week, the Virginia Lottery has changed first prize for its $20 Redskins scratch tickets to two (2) Redskins season tickets, and second prize to four (4) Redskins season tickets. (Fiction!)

Butt seriously:  What kind of buffoon is going to pay $20, the most heinous sum in the history of lotteries, for a chance to win Skins season tickets that pretty soon won't be worth $20? Commercials for the scratch tickets ran throughout the Redskins radio broadcast yesterday, and the uglier the game got, the more absurd the prizes  seemed. Who wants ANYTHING associated with the Redskins right now?

Coming soon to a courthouse near you: Dan Snyder sues lottery winners who turn down their Skins season tickets. (Fiction.)

But, good god, are the 2009 Skins over. (Fact.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Skins' suckage is the lead local story? The national newspeople take break into Tiger Woods coverage to dump on the Skins? Jurgensen takes it easy on Zorn? Sam Huff can't stomach Albert Haynesworth? Will Haynesworth make everybody forget Dana Stubblefield? Bad news is good news for extremeskins.com? Who is this "Synder" fella? Nats get swept again? The Nats Tragic Number is down to what? It's hockey season?)

"There's no way to overstate just how bad this is," said anchorman Craig Melvin to open the evening news broadcast at WRC, a place where news employees actually work for Dan Snyder and are known to wear their fealty to the Skins owner on their shirtsleeves. (Czarniak told the Tony Kornheiser Show last week that somebody above her, either station management or Dan Snyder, forced her to wear Redskins clothing on the air.) Several minutes of doom and doomer about the loss in Detroit followed on WRC.

Fox 5 also led off its 10 o clock news with the Skins: "Disappointment, anger frustation..." said anchor Will Thomas. "Keep going!" co-anchor Maureen Umeh chimed in.

Earlier in the day, Jurgensen also seemed at a loss for words during his post-game locker-room interview with Zorn. The Hall of Fame QB dropped the attack-dog style he'd used on the Redskins coach in recent weeks. There was no fight left in Zorn.

"We must change," Zorn told Jurgy.

At the exact moment that Zorn and Sonny were moping it up on Dan Snyder's radio station, WTEM, the Detroit Lions players were being shown on national TV walking around the perimeter of Ford Field accepting fans' congratulations like they'd all just broken Cal Ripken's streak.

***

The Redskins are a national cause for concern, too: NBC interrupted its FedEx Cup golf tournament broadcast to alert viewers that the Lions had won for the first time since 2007.

"It'll be a long week for the Redskins," said the NBC anchorwoman.

***

There were some fantastic radio moments between Skins play-by-play man Larry Michael and color commentator Sam Huff during yesterday's WTEM game broadcast when the neo-Stubblefield, Albert Haynesworth, made his first sack of the season and stayed on the Detroit turf. Huff is tired of the $100 million man's slothful demeanor on gamedays.

Michael: Haynesworth is down!

Huff: He's tired...

Michael: And he has not moved!

Huff: Tired

Haynesworth was eventually taken off the field by medical personnel on a cart.

***

Drama can be good for business: Dan Snyder's message board, extremeskins.com, is claiming its all time record for traffic was broken after the game by a factor of 1 and a half.

As soon as a thread expressing all the bad feelings was closed, another one was started. Typical was one titled: If You Shared an Elevator With Dan Snyder Tomorrow...........What would you say to him?

"I'd fart," said the poster Arkawi, the only guy to get in before moderators shut down the thread.

The traffic flow at Snyder's web site was no doubt helped by the traffic tie-up at Snyder's sports talker, WTEM-AM. For whatever reason, host Al Galdi took a paltry amount of callers in his two-hour or so post-game show, despite running out of ways to say that the Redskins had lost early into the program. One of the few listeners who managed to override WTEM's filibuster and get on the air railed against the owner and tagged Vinny Cerrato as Snyder's "personal sock puppet."

WJFK, meanwhile, didn't even have a postgame show to let fans decompress. Instead, the area's newest sportstalker aired a live broadcast of the Pittsburgh Steelers/Cincinnati Bengals game.

Via email, WJFK boss Chris Kinard explained his station's programming choice: "By contract with Westwood [One, an NFL syndicator], we have to carry their late afternoon game. It's part of the deal to carry Sunday and Monday Night Football. We had a postgame last week when the Ravens game was blacked out locally, and will do expanded pre and post coverage whenever possible."

Kinard, who says he also noticed how few callers were allowed on WTEM after the game, promises to let fans vent to their heart's content today.

"We're going to open the phone lines all day," he says. "Should be interesting."

***

The Washington Post dealt the Redskins owner the lowest of blows yesterday. From an introduction to Michael Wilbon's Sunday column in support of not firing the coach: "Jim Zorn is Daniel M. Synder's sixth coach."

"Synder!"

Somewhere along the way, for reasons I'm not sure of, "Synder" became the go-to nickname for hardcore Redskins fans when mocking the team's owner.

"Schottenheimer" was spelled correctly in Wilbon's piece.

***

Nats lose! Nats lose!

Swept away...again. This time by the Atlanta Braves. At 52-103, the Road to 100 Losses is but a memory.  If I'm carrying the one correctly, the Nats' Tragic Number, guaranteeing the team the worst record in the Majors, is down to two -- any combination of Washington losses or Pittsburgh Pirates wins, and our team's got the top draft pick all over again.

Good thing it's hockey season!

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Here's the opening:

Sonny Jurgensen: You had one offensive touchdown...

Jim Zorn: Thank you.

Sonny Jurgensen: You've got to get into the end zone...

Jim Zorn: Yes.

Uh oh.

Dan Snyder and Jurgensen are cigar smoking buddies. Jurgensen wanted Jeff George. So it's a good bet that in private Snyder's getting everything the Redskins listening audience got from Jurgensen and then some.

(AFTER THE BREAK: Albert Haynesworth don't play that? Folks want to trade in Jim Zorn et al on something with less mileage? Even the all-news station is piling on? Snyder's dastardly deeds have trickled down to 'Bama? Everybody but the Washington Post thinks Michael Jordan's a jerk? ANOTHER blonde DC sportscaster?)

***

Watching Albert Haynesworth take a knee or lying down on the job for no obvious reason, I was reminded about what my hero Boudreaux said in 1999 about Dana Stubblefield, a defensive lineman who went from all-pro to narcoleptic bum after taking Haynesworth-like money from Snyder to come here from San Francisco. Boudreaux's words: “I can hear him saying [to Dan Snyder], ‘Football? You pay me $47 million…and you want me to play football? Mister, a man with that kind of money don’t play football!’"

Boudreaux is a genius.

***

Knowing what we now know, it's time to re-read Erik Wemple's pre-game insider analysis of what was going to take place in the Meadowlands. He nailed it.

Right?

***

The fans around here aren't happy with what they saw. Over at Dan Snyder's web site, extremeskins.com, one of the smarties proposed a "Coach for Clunkers" program, to trade in the same ol' coaches and players and give newbies a shot.

WTOP this morning offered listeners a chance to join the mob. "If you'd like to jump on the pile, call us!"

The only thing boring about the Redskins are the games!

***

What kind of flash point is Dan Snyder? Well, the Birmingham News ran a column about him as a pariah and a symbol of everything that's wrong with everything over the weekend.

The Birmingham News!

***

So Michael Jordan's still getting coddled by the Washington Post? Well, check out the write-up of Jordan's Hall of Fame speech that ran in Saturday's Post, and the write-up in Yahoo Sports.

The commenters to Michael Lee's Post story all echo the Yahoo version, which was basically that Jordan is a troubled meanie.

It got so bad that Michael Wilbon came in to try to soften the damage from the Yahoo piece a day later, with a column praising Jordan's bizarre bullying -- he flew in a high school classmate to help make the old varsity coach look bad -- for its "unvarnished" qualities.

Ok. In any case, after reading elsewhere about what a jerk he was, go watch this Jordan dunk over Patrick Ewing from back in the day. Still chilling after all these years. He wasn't human on the court, so why expect him to be humane off it?

And, Jordan ain't the only one holding grudges: Abe Pollin has never let go of the bitterness from his alliance with Jordan.

***

This is what diversity looks like: Former George Michael intern Lindsay Murphy joins Fox-5's Redskins wrap-up show, joining former George Michael protege Lindsay Czarniak on WRC and Sara Walsh at WUSA in DC's blonde sportscaster corps.

Get with the program, WJLA!

***

The Washington Post ran three photos of Woodson's win over Lake Braddock in the sports page on Saturday. The section named a Woodson player its star of the day. That's fine. As long as sports sections name high school stars of the day, there'll be a market for newspapers. (Really!)

But the other two shots had caption writers humiliating specific Lake Braddock players. One caption had the Lake Braddock QB throwing "an incompletion" and another photo of a Woodson running back as he "runs over" a Lake Braddock defender. Both Lake Braddock players were named in the captions for no good reason.

Whoever wrote these captions went out of his or her way to embarrass kids. This is the sports journalism equivalent of child abuse. Not nice!

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Yesterday I was on an Orange Line train going toward Vienna, sitting in the back of the train with my bike. Behind me, shut in the rear cockpit, I could see a Metro employee sitting behind the controls, seemingly asleep.

This was the rear of the train, so the only thing that I found disturbing was how amazingly oblivious this guy was to PR. Operator error almost certainly didn't cause last month's Red Line crash, but this seems like a freaking awful time to get caught sleeping on the job.

That said, what would have happened had I taken a cell-phone video of the guy and e-mailed it to Fox 5 or some other arbiter of outrage? For all I know, the guy wasn't actually asleep but deeply bored, to the point of catatonia. He snapped right up at West Falls Church and exited briskly, even saying hey to me as I wiggled my bike out of his way. I can't think of the last time a Metro employee acknowledged me without me forcing them to. So maybe he's not as bad at PR as I initially thought.

What really got me about this morning's Fenty-Fox tilt was an exchange about transparency in the administration in the context of the firetruck controversy. Fenty was asked why councilmembers were complaining so loudly about an opaque executive branch, and the here's how things went from there:

Fenty: "I like to tell people, you know, just in general, that if you measure anything by the one or two things that don’t work, you’re gonna have a skewed view on things. I think that …if you look at all the things that are open; I mean, how many press conferences do I have a week, you guys are at all of them? How many things are published in the register. How many hearings does my administration go to? If you look at all the things that happen---you’re at like 99.5 percent. There’s just absolutely some things that, you know, slip through the cracks."

Fox 5: "So you think this slipped through the cracks?"

Fenty: "Well, what I always tell people is you can always do better, so if anyone’s criticizing my government saying you can do more, I accept that criticism and agree with it. And we will work hard in the future. But try to measure the government on everything that is happening and working well, transparent and otherwise."

Dear Mr. Mayor: It's that "otherwise" part that everyone's so concerned about.

If past is prologue, those viewing the alleged national championship game on the local Fox affiliate better be prepared for a barrage of wonderfully underproduced and low-aiming commercials for an outfit called CashPoint.

That's a Virginia financial firm that gives equity loans to car owners.

The best/worst of the fantastic/horrific CashPoint ads that aired seemingly every few minutes in Monday's Texas/Ohio State clash had a cleavagey female in a retail store fawning over something in a jewelry case and moaning, "I would do anything for any guy that would buy me that!"

A nerdy dude standing nearby hears the line and immediately falls for this Moana Lisa.

As his jaw hits the floor and eyes go wide, an excited narrator in Monster Trucks mode barks, "Neeeeeeeed cash? Take your car title to CashPoint and get cash!"

Talk about a sign of the times. According to CashPoint's website, those wanting quick money can bring their "lien-free [car] title" and a spare car key to any of the company's 11 locations throughout Virginia. (Woodbridge, which, as anybody who has taken a cruise down Route 1 lately can tell you, has been all but destroyed by the economic downturn, is the only town with two CashPoint outlets.)

Company staffers will then appraise the vehicle and give you a loan against your car's value.

"CashPoint will hold your title," reads the company's FAQ. "You keep your car and get the cash you need."

No credit check is necessary. But if you don't keep up with payments, the fine print says, they'll put that spare key you handed over to use and take possession of the auto.

I'm no Tim Geithner, but I think that the nerd in the commercial would be better off raising the quick capital needed to land the bauble-craving babe by putting his entire paycheck on Tim Tebow and Florida, and laying the 4 points.

Fox 5 News has announced that it's working on a story about this. Via Twitter.

Ch 5 Brian B - 40 (NW)

Brian B on air at 10,,,you are a suited sexy guy..

any1 in the office ever see him his shirt off? hairy? or his shoes off, what size feet?

The posting is accompanied by a photo of Bolter alongside an unidentified man. Both wear shirts.