A Falls Church man can't build a treehouse without government intervention. Someone call the Tea Party:

[Mark W.] Grapin, 51, said he only wanted to give his sons the kind of hideaway he knew as kid growing up in Redondo Beach, Calif., when he and friends built a treehouse using bent nails, apple crates and whatever else they could scavenge.

First, Grapin checked with the county’s building department. A friendly employee told him that, no, he did not need a building permit and to have a nice day.

So off he went to the hardware store for the materials to construct a 58-square-foot treehouse — painted red, with a pitched roof and orange window shutters and braced with stilts — around the only sturdy tree on their Falls Church property.

What Grapin did not realize was that because he lives in a corner lot at Marc Drive and Parkwood Terrace, he would need a variance to build any such structure in what the zoning code considers a front yard. Responding to two anonymous complaints, a county inspector went around to have a look. Soon, the Grapins received notice that they were in violation of Section 10-104 (12C) of the county zoning code.

“Because of the location on his lot, he does have to follow the zoning code,” said Merni Fitzgerald, a spokeswoman for the county. “It’s no different from a shed or a garage or any structure.”

Photo by Mike Madden

I guess I should have known that when a fashion-forward pal tweeted early this morning that she was in line at the Arlington Boulevard Target, in Falls Church, Va., the Missoni for Target collection was a big deal.

Everything went pretty quickly, according to reports from across the country. Within eight minutes of opening, in Falls Church, shoes were gone, followed quickly by bedding and housewares.

The fashion house designed a line with 400+ items for the retailer—everything from bikes to serving platters to scarves—all with multi-colored squiggly stripes.

Target has been doing short-run designer lines for a few years now, and rarely has there been such a run on stores, especially for a design so, dare I say, unattractive?

Anyway, according to the employee at the Columbia Heights Target that I spoke to this afternoon, everything there was sold out in about "20 minutes."

And are people are still showing up, desperate for discounted Missoni style and all the squiggly stripes they can handle?

"Yes, Lord, yes," she says, with a laugh.

Many people are desperately hitting refresh on the downed Target website, but they should hold off on turning to eBay, where prices are three to four times higher for the merchandiser's Missoni wares. The employee also says the company is currently updating the site, so it'll be easier to order pieces from the collection soon.

Photo by Target

Try Your Hand: It's official: The D.C. Lottery is now legally able to administer "games of skill and games of chance." Conceivably, this will generate some revenue for the city, and it's pretty cool that the District is the first American jurisdiction where Internet gambling is kosher. But it doesn't seem like anyone has a clear concept of what, exactly, kosher Internet gaming looks like. Online poker? Gaming machines? If only there were somewhere we could place bets on the eventual outcome. +2

Peaked: Increased fees for riding Metrorail have done very, very little to alter commuting patterns. Though riders are apparently unhappy with the extra 20 cent charge during "peak of the peak" times, they aren't changing their schedules to avoid it. So, the system is just as congested during rush hour as ever—you're just paying more to ride it. -2

This Suburban Life: The very rich are different from you and me; for one, they seem to live in Virginia. Or so found Forbes, which listed Falls Church as the richest county in America (technically, it's a city, but we won't quibble), followed by Loudon and Fairfax. Howard County, Md., also made the list of "America's 10 Richest Counties." Maybe one of them will drop some bags of money accidentally next time they come into the District! +1

Hockey Town, U.S.A.: For the last few years, as the Capitals have won more and more games, longtime fans have taken to bashing new arrivals on the bandwagon; people who don't usually follow hockey at all suddenly tune in for the playoffs, and it's hard to tell the people who "rock the red" because it's cool from the people who remember when Bobby Carpenter was traded away for Kelly Miller and Mike Ridley. That annual time to tune in arrives tonight, as the Caps play the Rangers in game 1 of the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Which means we should all put aside any question of old loyalties vs. glory hunters and focus on what matters: Showing New York up. +2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 60 Today's score: +3 Today's Needle rating: 63

"All Hands on Deck," Chief Cathy L. Lanier's unconstitutional excuse for setting up roadblocks and checkpoints, is done–but not because it violated the Fourth Amendment. No, AHOD is dead because "police union officials have long decried the AHODs as essentially a publicity stunt that generate goodwill for politicians at the expense of rank-and-file officers."

Christ almighty: "We'll stop this thing we're doing that's illegal, but only because the people we've asked to do it ARE TIRED OF DOING IT SO MUCH. " If you're disappointed that AHOD is kaput–and at least one of you is–then you obviously never had anything to hide and are probably an incredibly boring person.  The rest of us will be celebrating the return of our right to no unreasonable searches and seizures at an undisclosed location. ORWELLIAN SAPS ARE NOT INVITED.

ACORN workers did a bad, bad thing in Baltimore. Some folks at Big Government (another project by conservative maestro Andrew Breitbart) visited ACORN's offices posing as a pimp and prostitute in search of cheap housing for 13 El Salvadoran girls, who, the BG pair implied, would be underage prostitutes. ACORN had a lot of good ideas for them, including tax evasion. Check out the transcript.

Annnnnd a wingnut from Falls Church brought his shotgun to the Capitol during Obama's health care speech. Look, here's a message from one gun lover to another: We don't need this. "We" as in gun lovers, "we" as in emotionally neutral defenders of the Second Amendment, "we" as in the people who manage to detest big government without scaring other people. I don't think y'all represent the rise of the militia movement, I just think y'all are dumbasses. So cut it out and save that shottie for the gobbler in your backyard back.

Borderstan has shocking findings from its latest mini poll: People want affordable restaurants on 14th Street NW. Borderstan has some fun with the number crunching: "My initial read on the results, below, of this very unscientific poll, is that respondents tend to want more food options in the affordable range (lower-priced restaurants and delis) along with places to hang (coffee houses). In addition, people would like to have more general shopping options, including clothing stores. Noticeably, there was no excitement among respondents to this poll for more furniture stores, art galleries or clubs/lounges."

And Now, Anacostia has pictures from the construction of the new playground at Savoy. Congress Heights on the Rise re-publishes the mayor's office's press release without letting its readers know. Which is bullshit. We love CHOTR and respect their work and their comments on our own City Desk. But you can't cut and paste the mayor's press sheet and not tell your readers. Cite your sources. No big deal.

Metrocurean notes that Taylor Gourmet was featured in the recent issue of Dwell (you know that furniture porn mag at Whole Foods checkout aisles): "The story highlights the rustic industrial look of the renovated building on H Street NE that houses not only the Italian deli but also owners Casey Patten and David Mazza. They built nearly identical apartments on the two floors over the market."

Bloomingdale (for now) posts cool pictures of drawings on dirt.

Greater Greater Washington highlights one misguided marketing campaign from an eco-friendly condo development in Falls Church. They don't offer free bus or Metro passes. The condo folk offer extra free parking: not one, but two spaces for a one-bedroom unit: "Now that green living is trendy, developers are touting environmentally friendly features in many new buildings. That's great. But if the marketers then just default to the same gas-guzzling promotions that assume that more cars and more driving is always a draw, it undermines not only their message but the purpose behind it. Many of those two-bedrooms will go to couples who want a spare room, or families with babies, and they don't necessarily need two cars even in Falls Church."

Gotta be a mistake.

What happened to Sweden?

Beyer's a sainted figure in my native Falls Church, and I'd heard a couple months ago from townies that Beyer was in fact going to get the Ambassador to Sweden job.

That made total sense. And not just because Beyer was a huge Obama fundraiser.

Beyer's also Mr. Volvo! He's been Falls Church's ambassador to Sweden forever through the work at his dealership! He's beloved by Swedish commerce types, and even sponsors U.S./Sweden chamber of commerce golf tournaments! He's helped Sweden enjoy a fabulous trade imbalance with the U.S. for decades! "Beyer" might as well have umlauts over the E's, the guy's so perfect for the job.

So I called up Beyer's office to confirm. Folks there denied, denied, denied there was any chance of him getting that job or any other job from the administration. Then after I posted what I'd hoped was a jokey refutation of the ambassador rumors on City Desk, Beyers staff called me and acted as if I'd mucked everything up and committed some sort of journalistic war crime just by putting such stuff in print. Their over-reaction was as bizarre as any I'd ever gotten from a story.

And now it comes out that Beyer will indeed be an ambassador. Only to Switzerland.

What's he ever done for Switzerland?

Again: Gotta be a mistake.

An understandable one, from my perspective. I always get the two confused. And I think everybody does. Quick now:

Roger Federer: Swiss or Swede?

SEE WHAT I MEAN?

I'm not happy about this. I wanted Swedish Ambassador Beyer to bring The Soundtrack of Our Lives back with him during a visit to Falls Church. Now we'll have to settle for Abba! (What? They're Swedes too? SEE?)

Oh, well. I still love Don Beyer. Obama couldn't have picked a better man for the job.

Even if it is the wrong job.

Looks like that could soon be "secretary don beyer volvo."

In WaPo's In the Loop yesterday, Al Kamen proffered buzz that Donald S. Beyer Jr., son of Volvo dealer's namesake, could be named a deputy secretary or undersecretary of commerce. "Beyer, 58, was an early backer of Obama's campaign, stumped for him in the critical swing state of Virginia and raised megabucks as well," Kamen wrote.

But in his Politico Playbook today, Mike Allen raises the scuttlebutt to full-SecComm level:

MENTIONED FOR COMMERCE SECRETARY: Businessman, very early Obama supporter and former Virginia lieutenant governor Donald S. Beyer Jr. (“Don Beyer Volvo: America’s Favorite Volvo Dealer — Brothers Don and Mike bought the business from their father in 1986. Today the number of family members working in the business stands at eleven.”)

If Beyer, an eight-year lieutenant governor of Virginia, were to get the job, it might prove a boost to Volvo's governmental sales: NoVa native Andrew Beaujon tells LL that Beyer Volvo famously offered several of its cars to the Falls Church police during the '80s.

Nobody was ever charged with any crimes in either the gambling investigation or the killing of Culosi, who was unarmed when he was gunned down in front of his house.

Culosi's death came during what felt like a spree of deadly and indictment-free police shootings in Northern Virginia.

Just five days before Culosi's killing, a civil jury had awarded the family of Prince Jones $3.7 million in a wrongful death suit.

Jones, an unarmed Howard U. student, was shot five times in the back in a Falls Church driveway in September 2000 by an undercover Prince George's County cop, Carlton Jones (no relation).

Fairfax County prosecutor Robert Horan, who later wouldn't bring charges in Culosi's killing, didn't charge Prince Jones' killer, either.

And only a month after Culosi was killed, unarmed 19-year-old Aaron Brown of Annandale was shot and killed in the parking lot of an International House of Pancakes by Carl Stowe, an off-duty Alexandria police officer.

Brown was in the backseat of a car full of friends who were accused of trying to run out without paying a $26 check when Stowe fired the fatal shot into the side of the vehicle.

Had one of the restaurant's waiters or short order cooks gunned down a patron under the exact same circumstances, murder indictments would surely have followed. No charges were filed against Stowe, who was working at the IHOP as a security guard when he killed Brown.

Stowe's other employer, the city of Alexandria, paid a $1.1 million settlement to Brown's family.

In Greece, one such police shooting — the killing in December of an unarmed 19-year-old student by an Athens cop — sparked a month of riots that has left governments all over Europe afraid.

Other than some quiet protests organized by some of Jones' Howard classmates, the three Northern Virginia killings inspired no civil disobedience.

Perhaps that's why these things happen more around here?

JVs is a link to the old Old Dominion, however.

Judging from the scene inside JV's, a wondrous Falls Church honky tonk that's only a few blocks from my boyhood home, you'd think the state was still redder than Six Flags' financials. Another American flag or MIA placard hangs every few feet overhead. It's no accident that bikers use the place as their Ground Zero during Rolling Thunder weekend.

If there's a bar inside the Beltway with a more overtly conservative clientele, I haven't been there.

I went to JV's in 2003 to watch George W. Bush's speech to the nation the night he started bombing Iraq. I figured it would give me insight into how the rest of the country felt, since everybody I knew downtown was against the invasion.

The bar was packed that night, and I remember seeing a guy from the neighborhood who'd I'd known for years raising his beer and yelling "Let's kick some fucking ass!" when Bush finished talking. Everybody cheered.

So I went back to JV's again tonight. I wanted to see how a bar whose regulars leaned as far to the right as any three-legged dog would do on a night when the mood around town was all about entertaining The Other Side.

The answer: Not real well.

The musical lineup JV's management put out there was as old school as the bar itself: Tom Principato, Catfish Hodge, Tommy Lepson, Pete Ragusa and Steve Wolf were playing together as the January All-Stars. About 30 years ago, all the Stars were in separate DC bands that each got radio airplay and would have packed any Georgetown nightspot on the night before a holiday — Principato in Powerhouse, Wolf with Danny Gatton's Redneck Jazz, Lepson in the Lazy Boys and Root Boy Slim, Ragusa in the Nighthawks, and Hodge fronting his own group.

But on this night, at its most crowded, I counted 16 paying customers in the whole place.

Sixteen! That's about 20 percent as big as the bunch there whooping and hollering on the night of Bush's speech.

"I don't know why nobody's here," said Lepson.

Me neither.

But maybe the guy taking money at the door dressed in an official JV's t-shirt with the slogan "Don't Blame Me I Voted for McCain" on the back provided a clue.

In any case, the show was fabulous. I still say that when it comes to hearing the blues or watching a declaration of war, JV's is the place to be.