Tweet On, You Crazy Diamond: Mike DeBonis confirms that former Mayor-for-Life Marion Barry is, indeed, tweeting his own tweets from a brand new Twitter account. “The social media is hot right now,” he says. “I want to keep in touch with technology. I want to stay in touch with the young people.” Sample tweet: "@KwameBrownDC WELL KWAME I LEARNED HOW TO TWEET." +10

Drive Slow, Homie: WTOP reports that a new District government study says D.C. drivers are driving more slowly on 70 percent of roads surveyed, including the Anacostia Freeway, Memorial Bridge, Canal Road and 16th Street. They credit the slow-down to more red light cameras and speed bumps. +5

Where Do Lonely Arts (Commissions) Go? The D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities will be assuming control of the troubled Lincoln Theatre in the wake of reports about its financial troubles. "DCCAH is basically mangaging the process of finding an artistic director and getting it off the ground until there's management in place to run the theater," says DCCAH spokesperson Marquis Perkins. +3

Pull Your Pennies Together: The ESPN Sports Zone auction is tomorrow, says WJLA: "Items in the online auction include a Washington Redskins football-throwing game, several air hockey tables, industrial-grade cooking platforms and kitchen utensils. Even the most minute of items, including speakers, subwoofers, lights, tables and chairs will be on the block." See the list here. +2

Friday's Needle rating: 30 Today's score: +20 Today's Needle rating: 50

For more viral, malt-beverage-fueled hilarity, check out Alex Balk's "Bros Icing Bros And The Fate Of Humanity: A Look Back."

In more sober news, The Walk Disney Company will be closing most of its ESPN Zone restaurants, including the Washington and Baltimore locations. According to an NBC Washington poll, roughly 67 percent of local bros are sad about this.

Maureen Dowd takes on the bros at the Landon School who decided that setting up a hook-up fantasy league would be a good idea. Dowd concludes that it is "time for a curriculum overhaul" at the school, which is also the alma mater of George Huguely V, the University of Virginia lacrosse player accused of murdering his girlfriend Yeardley Love. "Young men everywhere must be taught, beyond platitudes, that young women are not prey."

Did anybody tell Abe Pollin?

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Lebron's come and gone. But we only have to wait a week for the next celeb sports doc extravaganza: Luis Tiant will be at the E Street Cinema downtown on June 22 for red-carpet screening of "The Lost Son of Havana," a film about the ex-Indian- Twin-Red Sock-Yankee-Pirate-Angel's trip back to the Cuban capital, which is his Akron.

After the screening the movie's producers will throw a bash across the street from the theater at the ESPN Zone. But don't expect much. In the invitation the party's organizers just sent out, they're promising that: "Light refreshments will be served in accordance with House Ethics rules."

House ethics used to lead to the wildest parties in town. Jack Abramoff mussed up everything.

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Sign of the times or the Times? Despite a big write-up in Sunday's Washington Times, the Hoop Dreams Scholarship fund had to cancel its next big fundraising event for lack of interest.

Hoop Dreams has been a powerhouse on the DC charity and social scene for more than a decade. The organization was started in 1996 by former H.D. Woodson teacher and sleepless superhero Susie Kay, who began holding an annual outdoor basketball tournament to help her students get money for college.

Her cause took off, and before long, Kay, backed by Ted Leonsis, Ari Fleischer and scads of local pro athletes and federal lawmakers (including John McCain and Barack Obama), was divvying out grants to kids from schools all over the city. (Leonsis threw more than checks at the group, serving for years as a mentor to Kay's kids.)

The organization now claims to have funded continuing education for more than 1,000 DC students.

The plan was to celebrate that milestone on June 25, with a soiree at the Historical Society of Washington, DC, called "1,000 Strong."

But this morning Hoop Dreams sent out a brief, terse announcement that the event was canceled "due to lack of ticket sales."

"For the few people who purchased tickets online you will receive a full refund," read the cancellation notice.

Hoop Dreams' cause remains righteous. This party might be canceled, but the party can't be over for this bunch.

Other hoops-related charities are claiming big doings around here: The group Nothing But Nets, also known for raising funds through basketball tournaments, is holding a series of local events this week with the Mystics, DC United, the Bayhawks and Michelle Obama and Jack Evans, and says it will use the proceeds to send 10,000 malaria nets to various refugee camps in Africa.

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Good golly, did David Letterman look like a coward and a buffoon last night, caving in and bumbling through a fake apology for his lazy line about Sarah Palin's daughter getting "knocked up" by Alex Rodriguez.

Yeah, talk about an athlete impregnating a Palin daughter really isn't fit for a late-night monologue. It's ok to use that material in a campaign press release, however.

Guess it's all been said. But let's take another look at Palin with her daughters at the Flyers game during the campaign, one of many appearances at sporting events where she's used her kids as human shields.

What network fool told Letterman to crater?

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