To paraphrase President-elect Obama: "When people get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward candidates who actually have a hope in hell."

But to assume these two were the only major write-in players would be to underestimate the imagination and pluck of the American people. As Matt Dunn of the New Jersey Star-Ledger sagely observes:

Voters in Cumberland County unsatisfied with the choices given to them on Election Day chose to vote on their own terms in this year's election. The write-in candidates stood little chance of defeating those candidates whose names were listed on the ballot, but that didn't stop voters from exercising their right to vote for whomever they saw fit.

Below the jump, some of my favorite write-ins from Ohio, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Florida, and D.C.

Stark County, OH: Hello Kitty; Captain Morgan; Alfred E. Neuman; Ted Nugent; Jesus Christ the Lord; Jesus of Nazareth; Bengals wide receiver Chad Ocho-Cinco (1 vote apiece).

Cumberland County, NJ: Mitt Romney (3); Paris Hilton (1); Newt Gingrich (?)

New Hampshire: Bill Clinton (13); Chuck Baldwin (226); Sarah Palin (18).

Duval County, FL (via Ben Smith): Chuck Norris (2); Mickey Mouse (3); Rudy Giulliani [sic] (4); God (6); Weird Al Yancovic [sic] (1); "They Both Suck '08" (1); "none of the above" (23)*.

Washington, D.C.: Ted Scheinman (at least 1).

If you require further proof that hope springs eternal, I can't really help you out.

*Tied with Jesus.

Former President Bill Clinton was hesitant to characterize Barack Obama as a "great man" Sunday, a phrase he had no qualms using last week to describe Obama's rival John McCain.

Clinton told NBC's Tom Brokaw that it was only earlier this month in Harlem that he and Obama had their "first conversation." He said he had spoken with Obama before, but only in passing.

Clinton then explained what he meant in characterizing McCain as a "great man."

"I think his greatness is that he keeps trying to come back to service without ever asking people to cut him any slack or feel sorry for him or any of that stuff because he was a POW," Clinton said of the Republican presidential nominee.

What is the matter with this guy? It's like he's a pathological self-saboteur. And then some obvious possibilities reared their jaded heads: If Obama wins in November and has an effective presidency, he'll seek re-election, which would put eight years between Hillary and the White House. If Obama wins in November but taxes us into a recession, Republicans will have an easier time in 2012. But! If McCain wins in November and implements his disastrous defense policies (or OD's on Viagra–either way, he's a one-term guy), Hillary will be poised for a comeback in 2012. (Sarah Palin has about as much chance of going from VP to just "P" in 2012 as Dan Quayle did in 2000–er, '94.)

I'm sure this type of conjecture is/has been floating around the InterTubez, I'm just waiting for an MSM person to hit Clinton with it straight up.

Also, thinking like a pollster pickles my innards.

According to Radley Balko, the McCain camp aired the above ad an hour or so before McCain told the press that he would be participating in tonight's debate, which leads one to believe that the McCain team knew there was a chance that his "Campaign to Suspend My Campaign" campaign wasn't going to work.

What a rascal!