And Then There Were 12: For months, Harry Thomas Jr. claimed he was innocent of all the allegations against him, even after he agreed to repay the District $300,000 that the attorney general said he stole. And then all of a sudden, he admitted he did it all. In a guilty plea in federal court today, Thomas said he stole hundreds of thousands of dollars he'd helped direct to organizations that were supposed to be working on behalf of needy kids. He resigned his Ward 5 D.C. Council seat last night, and he'll be sentenced to prison on May 3. It's a cliché to say, "This is a sad day for D.C.," but phrases like that become clichés for a reason—because they're true. -5

No Parking, President Dining: Early this morning, Dupont Circle residents found temporary "no parking" signs had gone up all around the neighborhood, without the usual advance notice required for posting. Some cars had been towed. What, exactly, was going on? Just a lunch excursion for the most powerful man in the country, that's all. President Barack Obama zipped north to eat lunch with some supporters at Scion, the second such meal he's had lately. Last time, he was in Virginia. Maybe he's been reading Washington City Paper? -1

A Diaper On Every Pol: Out on the hustings, the men (and they're all men, now that Michele Bachmann has quit) who want to replace Obama like to talk about the career paths they'd bring to the White House should they win. One guy's a corporate raider, one guy's a K Street lobbyist without the title. A lesser-known rival, though, would arrive at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW having served as lawyer to the madame to the inside-the-Beltway stars. Montgomery Blair Sibley, attorney to the late Deborah Jean Palfrey, announced today he's seeking the presidency. No line so far on InTrade on Sibley's chances. -1

More Money, Fewer Problems: It's been years since federal workers got a pay raise, as every national politician in town has rushed to demonstrate their frugality by slashing salaries of public servants. (Public servants except Harry Thomas Jr., of course.) The White House has, apparently, decided that's gone on long enough. Civilian federal employees would get a .5 percent raise in fiscal year 2013 under President Barack Obama's proposed budget. Considering that stats out today showed that 12,000 public sector jobs vanished in the last month, chances are the country can afford it. And here in D.C., a raise for federal workers might help everyone. But since it's got to get through Congress first, we don't advise anyone start spending immediately. +2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 43 Today's score: -5 Friday bonus: +2 Today's Needle rating: 40

-News release, D.C. Office of Motion Picture & Television Development, December 2

To: Leslie Moonves, Chairman, CBS

From: Vincent Gray, Mayor, Washington D.C.

Re: D.C. Statehood–the TV show

Sir:

Please consider the following relevant programming data assembled by my crack One City Division of Televisual Marketing Advice (only two of whose employees are children of my political allies):

• Millions of Americans have spent 2011 watching televised reports of people taking to the street demanding justice as part of the "Arab Spring," and "Occupy  Wall Street," among other causes. Many of the participants in these movements come from the much-sought-after 18-35 year old demographic.
• Films focusing Middle Eastern current events have flopped, and movements like Occupy Wall Street disturb key advertisers.
• On the other hand, urban America is now associated with "edgy" music and fashion that appeal to key consumer demographics craved by your advertisers.
• Demographic changes in urban areas mean that government mistreatment now affects the upscale consumers desired by television advertisers.
• Thanks to initiatives like the District of Columbia's "Taxation without Representation" license plate program, 61 percent of people who purchased new tablet computers in 2011 tell consumer researchers that they are aware of the nation's capital's lack of local democracy.
• 91 percent of potential buyers of deodorant, English muffins, and midrange Korean automobiles express overwhelming disapproval for Congress.

Clearly, he time is right for a show capitalizing on the "justice" zeitgeist. But you should set the show in a multicultural, edgy-yet-retail-friendly stateside locale. The focus should involve the ideologically neutral issue of basic democracy. And it should feature a foe all viewers can rally against: Congress. The D.C. Office of Motion Picture and Television Development presents.... Stateless.

PILOT SYNOPSIS: It is day 42 of a federal government shutdown. Because of Washington's unusual status in the federal budget, local trash goes uncollected, local police are on furlough, local streets are unplowed. Beverage-industry lobbyist Eric Carpenter (Will Smith) is not bothered. Though he enjoyed a brief go-go music career before law school, he's a long way from his roots in D.C.'s "hood." His children go to private school, he lives in gentrified Logan Circle, he drives an SUV over the potholes that are exclusively caused by Congressional mistreatment of the city.

But his world changes during the opening episode's freak ice storm. Cut to:  South Carolina Republican Rep. Tucker Beauregard (Bradley Cooper) drinking at an upscale Dupont Circle bar, mocking the "freaks and foreigners" who he says populate the city. Cut to: Beauregard enticing a young intern into his SUV. Cut to: Beauregard's car skidding onto a tidy 14th street sidewalk where Eric's wife and children have just exited a chic vintage-furniture boutique. Eric's family is killed instantly.

There are only two witnesses: One is street musician Telly (hip-hop artist Wale, in his first television role). Telly has been reduced to bucket-drumming for pocket-change because he was forbidden from accepting a National Endowment for the Arts grant when heartless federal bureaucrats limited the grants to residents of bona-fide states. The other is boutique proprietor Artie Solomon (Justin Timberlake). Artie is a Harvard Law graduate who lost his job as a hill staffer because Congress selfishly exempts itself from D.C. laws forbidding discrimination against gays and lesbians.

The presence of eyewitnesses appears to mean Beauregard will be easily convicted. But then, a Congressional committee forbids the local police force using testimony from people who do not live in one of the fifty states in any case involving members of Congress from one of those fifty states. Beauregard is effectively  off the hook. The episode ends with Eric, Telly, and Artie vowing to end D.C.'s colonial oppression...and to also get their man.

EPISODE 4: Through contacts from his old Congress Heights neighborhood (now much-improved, thanks to efforts by Washington's wise, deliberative mayor), Eric learns that a Beauregard aide is procuring medical marijuana from a newly legalized local dispensary. This is despite the fact that the Congressman has railed against the decriminalization of pot by "that liberal, un-American D.C. government." Masquerading as a law-abiding customer, Telly snoops about the store and learns that the marijuana is actually for the Congressman himself. The trio are about to expose the hypocrisy when federal agents (led by Jon Voight as uptight bureaucrat Davis Hamilton) raid the place as part of an executive branch effort to stamp out the marijuana that D.C. voters have voted to approve. Though Carpenter bundled money for Barack Obama in 2008, his appeals go unheeded, underlining the District's miserable condition.

EPISODE 7: Artie is set to marry his longtime partner, Gustavo (Mario Lopez), a Salvadoran immigrant entrepreneur who has taken advantage of many of the District government's helpful small-business initiatives. But on Capitol Hill, legislators are trying to undo Washington's legalization of gay marriage. With comic pacing, the episode shows Eric and Telly rushing to different locations around the city (one in each of Washington's eight diverse, vibrant wards) to gather supplies in order to ensure that their friend's festivities come off before the dastardly Congress unfairly undermines local law. At the wedding, Eric meets Artie's former law-school classmate Sarina (Kristen Stewart), now a top political organizer. Sarina has also known pain: Her brother, a heroin addict, died after being infected by a dirty syringe during a period when Congress banned the District from funding needle-exchange programs.  The pair dance long into the night, beginning a romantic arc.

EPISODE 13: In the season finale, tens of thousands of residents are preparing to march to the mall to demand freedom for Artie, who has been arrested on trumped-up charges that he had driven the SUV that killed Eric's family. (The charges, we later learn, were fabricated by the ambitious former local schools chief, played by Sandra Oh, who wants to please the Congressional leaders funding anti-union advocacy group). Sarina has organized the rally brilliantly. It opens with performances by local music legend Chuck Brown. The plan is that once the full crowd gathers, a giant video screen will display newly discovered footage from a Department of Homeland Security camera that captured video of the accident. But just as the tape rolls, the power dies. Cut to: Voight's character smirking as underlings wheel away a National Park Service generator. Cut to: DHS agents racing toward the stage to confiscate the tape. Cut to: Eric and Telly, running for their lives towards the bridge over the Anacostia. It's a cliffhanger.

As credits roll, we see Beauregard on the phone, ordering feds to redouble their efforts to track down the D.C. freedom-fighters. As the camera pulls back, we see that someone has scribbled graffiti over a nearby sign marking Pennsylvania Ave.

"D.C. Statehood Blvd.," it says.

1600 Block of Connecticut Ave. NW, November 7

Full Gallery here. © 2011 Matt Dunn

17th Street NW, October  25

Full gallery here.

High Heeled Sneakers: When it first began 25 years ago, the Dupont Circle High Heel Race must have been shocking indeed—a group of drag queens running down 17th Street, taking shots along the way, at a time when the nation barely wanted to acknowledge that gay culture even existed. These days, the race has gone mainstream—Mayor Vince Gray will preside, and starting next year, it'll be run by Historic Dupont Circle Main Street—but it's still a street party, and who doesn't like an excuse for public drinking? +4

Licensed to Drive: It's been a tough year transportation-wise for Sulaimon Brown, the former mayoral candidate who claims the venom he directed toward then-Mayor Adrian Fenty last summer was prompted by Vince Gray aides. First his bike was stolen outside the FBI building while he was being interviewed in connection with his allegations; now he's facing possible jail time if he doesn't swap his Maryland driver's license for a District one. But at least he keeps finding ways to get his name in headlines. -1

Beer, Bear, What's The Difference?: Driving into the C & O Canal to avoid hitting a bear sounds like the best of bad options; sure, submerging the car is bad, but hitting the bear could be worse, right? Unless, that is, there is no bear, and you've just driven your car into the canal because you're drunk. Which is what police say happened last night near Foxhall and Canal roads NW. The man driving the car was charged with DWI. No word on whether his defense lawyer has already set out bear traps. -1

SNOWTOBER: Apparently the D.C. area is thinking of going as Reykjavik for Halloween. Some weather models show the possibility of heavy snow on Saturday, which would make for some of the earliest-ever runs on grocery stores (though it would also get Pat Collins back in primetime TV). Chances are those models, which seem to be run on the same European computer programs that determined it would be a good idea to lend massive amounts of Euros to Greece, are incorrect. But just in case, everybody panic! -2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 61 Today's score: 0 Today's Needle rating: 61

Lost in the Flood: There was a time when it seemed like it hadn't rained in the District for weeks; grass dried up and died, it was unbearably hot, and weather officials were issuing drought warnings for the region. That time was August. Since then, it basically hasn't stopped raining. Which means today, like all days that end in "-day," brought a fresh round of flood warnings, watches, and downpours. The city was giving out sandbags all afternoon; no word on when they'll switch to issuing arks. -2

White (Powder) Clam Sauce: Clams—they're not just for steaming anymore. At Dulles International Airport, officials intercepted a man allegedly trying to smuggle $10,000 worth of cocaine into the United States from El Salvador by hiding it inside clam shells, which were then glued shut. Next time, we advise any would-be smugglers hoping to use the same tactic to try National; they've got a Legal Seafoods there, so the clams might attract less attention. -1

Dupont Circle, Now Northbound Only: One of the most dramatic entrances to any Metro station in the whole system is the elevator into Dupont Circle at Connecticut Avenue and Q Street NW. A huge pit, complete with a concrete cap and a Walt Whitman quote, ushers riders onto the Red Line; the southern entrance, wedged next to an office building on the bottom of the circle, can't quite compete. And in fact, for a while next year, it won't even try: Metro officials announced today that they'll close the southern entrance to replace all three of its elevators at some point. Bad news for Krispy Kreme; good news for Kramerbooks. -1

Terp-a-Porter: On Monday night, the University of Maryland played the University of Miami in a nationally televised fashion show. Technically, it was a football game, but the hideousness of the Terps' Maryland flag-themed uniforms dominated any and all conversation about the game (which Maryland won). Finally some good news on the sartorial front out of College Park: The Terrapins will never wear that awful get-up again, as the school plans to auction the uniforms off. Jerseys will start at $200; helmets at $500. Presumably, if any UMD undergraduates buy the jerseys, they'll just set them on fire. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 54 Today's score: -3 Today's Needle rating: 51

We've already shown you some pictures from Tuesday's Flags in the Flesh rally in Dupont Circle, where D.C. residents met to show off their D.C. flag tattoos and speak out for voting rights. We also chatted with a few of the organizers and attendees, including former D.C. Council candidate and community activist Bryan Weaver and D.C. Shadow Rep. Mike Panetta. Here's what they had to say.

Video by Matt Bevilacqua

Click image for gallery.

It's the last weekend of Capital Pride and that means it's time to head down to the annual parade Saturday evening. The procession starts at 5:30 p.m., heading through Dupont Circle and ending at 14th and N NW. Check the route map for specifics and watch for the Washington City Paper float. Some of us will be dressed as cupcakes.

For a preview of the parade, check out Darrow Montgomery's great set of photos from last year's parade.

Dupont Circle Metro Station. © 2011 Michael W. Hicks

District police are searching for a man they say posed as a cab driver and sexually assaulted two women in separate early morning incidents this month in the District. The driver, described as being of Middle Eastern descent and between 30 and 40 years old, is alleged to have picked up one woman in Dupont Circle on May 11 and attacked her in the 300 block of 18th Street Nether second assault occurred on May 22 in the 3700 block of Quebec Street NW after the driver picked up a woman in Georgetown, police said.

The suspect hasn't been caught yet, and it's a bad situation for both female passengers looking for a safe way to their destination and taxi drivers trying to eke out a living. Though we'd all like to think we could spot an imitation taxi, MPD spokeswoman Gwendolyn Crump actually says she can't "confirm that the cab is fake" at this point.

So City Desk asked her what women should do besides keep an eye out for a creepy hack. Her suggestions—which could make you feel a little paranoid—are mostly about gathering information on the cab you're stepping into and then dialing 911 the moment there's the sense that something is wrong.

• When traveling late at night, travel with a companion.

• Get a description of the cab, including company name, cab number.

• Get the driver's information from the displayed placard.

• If it appears that the driver is going out of the way of the passenger's destination or passing the destination, contact the police.

• If the taxi driver is appears to be parking or stopping the cab in a remote location, contact the police.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

D.C., of course, has been declaring the end of its status as a "sleepy southern town" for well over a century. Back in 2003, Washington City Paper did a story on the phenomenon: A quick trip to the library revealed historians who'd placed Washington's awakening in the 1890s, a memoirist who traced it to the 1921 arrival of the Warren Harding administration, and popular journalists who gave credit to the glory days of the New Deal.

But to believe today's triple-bylined Post story—its A1 headline in the dead-tree edition is "CAPITAL HIP"—it's the 21st century arrival of the youngsters who now make up 40 percent of the population in booming Wards 1 and 2 who get credit. "A city once renowned as a mecca for workaholics is starting to be thought of as a place that's fun," the paper of record declares.

I'm not quite ready to declare Washingtonian workaholism dead. And I'd argue that the evidence in CAPITAL HIP backs me up. Take, for instance, the case of 29-year old David Helfrich, who the Post scribes catch up with while shopping at the P Street Whole Foods (fun!). An aspiring intellectual-property lawyer, Helfrich's reasons for settling in the District include...."the robust legal scene."

Yes, it's true that this new Washingtonian is a "frequent partier at Josephine and Recess," but I'd lay good money that he'll be putting in some pretty long hours trying to rise in that robust legal scene, too. And I think I'm on pretty safe grounding in assuming that the parents of my generation of Washingtonians—you know, the parents who came for the Great Society and stuck around for the ambitious careerism—had their own favorite nightspots and once thought of themselves as cool, too.

None of this changes the fact that the District's demographic transition towards a younger population is significant news. But all these ambient vignettes of hipness—that guy who "practices yoga and bar-hops not just in Adams Morgan and Dupont Circle, but lately also around H Street, Penn Quarter and Logan Circle!"—seem a bit much, no? He's still a lobbyist, for an insurance firm no less. It's good news for the city that he chooses to live here, and here's hoping he sticks around after diaper-changing replaces bar-hopping on his agenda. I'm just not quite ready to declare a lobbyist who enjoys nightlife as a sign of bohemian transformation.

Hell No: "We came. We protested. We chanted. What started out as 2, became 3, which eventually became 10 and then multiplied into 20. Ward 7 needs a lot of things. Another liquor store is most definitely NOT one of them," writes Fairfax Village-based Life in the Village. The potential liquor store in question is Uncle Lee's Seafood, in Deanwood, which has applied for a Class A liquor license—much to the chagrin of nearby communities, who feel that there's a saturation of liquor stores in the area already.

A Time for Apathy: Last week, an open letter to Councilmember Jack Evans was circulated on the Dupont Forum email list. It addressed a potential conflict of interest between Evans' government job and private work for Patton Boggs: "...The Examiner newspaper reported on July 1, 2009 that Mr. Evans had recused himself from a key vote on the public subsidy for the convention center hotel because his law firm, Patton Boggs, represents Marriott. This, of course, is the law firm from which Mr. Evans has received $240,000 annually as compensation for unspecified services for the last several years..." Though one list member was disappointed the posting didn't generate much discussion—"I'm surprised this post didn't garner any comments, because this looks bigger than the rest of the city scandals put together. It's certainly bigger in what it costs the taxpayers by more than a hundred-fold"—another noted, "you should not be too surprised...we're all just kind of fed up with the some of the current crop of elected officials and actions they have taken in their own self-interest at the expense of taxpayers. Sad."

Desperately Seeking: The Brookland email list is deep in discussion of the proposed taxi medallion legislation, which would require licensed cabs to buy a pricey medallion to be licensed. A member of the list claims to be a taxi driver and dispatcher and insists that the legislation, while flawed, is a good thing because "Currently, there are 8,250 licenced vehicles. That is too many. You can see the swarms of cabs in certain areas at certain times." However, other list members don't feel that that's the case: "If there are too many taxis, why is it so hard to get one to respond to a call to pick up at home? What is the best solution to getting enough coverage for underserved areas that don't have enough street-hailing business for taxis to be cruising around?"

Pick It Up! Park View D.C. and nearby neighbors are fed up with the amount of trash in their streets. Writes Park View D.C., "I’ve long been mystified by the amount of clamshell food containers, empty liquor bottles, and general trash that can be found on our neighborhood’s streets. Often times you can find a crack bag or empty condom wrapper in the parkway in front of an otherwise well maintained row of homes." A vivid description, no? A new blog, The Park View Beautification Crew, has sprung up to address the problem.

Recent compromises appear not to have done much to lower the tension surrounding a proposed extension of a moratorium on liquor licenses west of Dupont Circle.

The Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration held a hearing today on a request from Advisory Neighborhood Commission 2B to keep the moratorium in place for another 60 days; otherwise, it's set to expire next Wednesday. The measure makes it difficult for businesses to acquire liquor licenses. Supporters of the moratorium believe it prevents things like noise and crime. The ban has held on for the last 17 years.

The ANC recently voted to support resolutions that would allow restaurants, but not bars, to be exempt, along with One Dupont Circle, a building whose owners argue it's only been included in the zone up until now because of an administrative error. But some business owners want the restriction gone all together. To that end, Dupont Circle Merchants and Professionals Association Chairman Johnathan ten Hoopen told the board "there was a harm in extending the moratorium." Hooper said the moratorium was hurting the neighborhood: "The moratorium has become an impediment to economic recovery."

But ANC 2B Commissioner Kevin O'Connor asked the board to extend the moratorium so the group could make changes to it without time constraints. "My resolutions will be before you in the future," O'Connor promised.

The board took the issue under advisement but didn't make a decision—something it will need to do by the March 23 deadline.

Photo by visualpanic via Flickr/Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0 Generic