I Am Serious, And Don't Call Me Shirley: There's just one air traffic controller on duty at Reagan National Airport between midnight and 6 a.m., and he fell asleep Wednesday night? Surely, you can't be serious. Actually, that's no longer the case; after news broke that two planes had to land themselves with no controller on duty, federal officials doubled the crew (which, no doubt, had the airport's namesake rolling over in his grave). We'd still probably rather fly out of DCA than Dulles. -2

Breaking the Law: Smart phones have made it easier to do all kinds of things—cheat at trivia, play video games on the bus, and now, thanks to apps that warn about police DUI checkpoints, drive drunk. Now cops say they're trying to get creative in applying existing laws to crack down on anyone using the apps. We're not fans of creative expansions of police powers, but we like drunk driving even less. +1

No School: The move to the University of the District of Columbia this year was supposed to be an upgrade for Wilson High School students; most high schools, after all, aren't quite as spiffy as most colleges when it comes to facilities. (Wilson's building is being renovated.) But a sewage backup at the temporary campus meant classes were canceled for Wilson today. Unlike a snow day, it's hard to predict sewage problems in advance—unless someone in the school's AP Civil Engineering class caused it? -1

Hollywood for FBI People: Another big-budget movie is coming to D.C. this weekend—and this time, if there are cars turning into robots, it means something's gone wrong. A new biopic about former FBI boss J. Edgar Hoover starring Leonardo DiCaprio will be shooting downtown Saturday and Sunday. Sure, the traffic might be bad, but at least they're not filming in Brooklyn, like the Gossip Girl folks will be for their new show set in Georgetown. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 61 Today's score: -1 Today's Needle rating: 60

Police reportedly found Baker N. Everton yelling on a Petworth sidewalk on January 12, 2007. He was slurring his words and could "hardly stand," according to court papers. Then he went to his bike:

"The officers asked appellant to quiet down and move on, and told him not to ride his bicycle because he was so intoxicated. Appellant, however, proceeded to ride his bicycle. Officer Mahl repeated his warning not to ride the bicycle, but appellant rode away. As he crossed Otis Place, appellant almost hit a small child who was in the crosswalk. Appellant then lost control of the bicycle and fell on the ground."

Everton was allegedly trashed enough to nearly hit a kid, which earned him a DUI citation. However, his lawyer argued that since a bike isn't a car, he didn't deserve the DUI.

The Court of Appeals disagreed, basing its opinion on 1925's Traffic Act. The Act defines a vehicle as anything that can be moved over a highway, so Everton was out of luck.

Also in trouble: drunk farmers in town for a good time. The Traffic Act includes "draft animals" and "beasts of burden" as vehicles, too.

• Alexandria Police Chief David P. Baker announced his retirement yesterday afternoon, ending a 40-year career in law enforcement.  This comes in the aftermath of his arrest on DUI charges Saturday night, following an accident that sent another driver to the hospital.  The best part about retiring now is that Baker gets to retain his full benefits, regardless of the outcome of today's court hearing in Arlington.

• Sonia Sotomayor is one step closer to joining the Supreme Court.  The Senate Judiciary Committee voted 13-6 to endorse the candidate, sending her nomination to a full Senate vote next week.  She's expected to be confirmed with little struggle, but as usual, party affiliations are limiting unanimous support.
• Bruce Johnson is wondering why so many businesses are leaving Cleveland Park.  If major corporations like Starbucks and McDonalds decide to leave the neighborhood and their space can't be filled for upwards of five years, there just might be a problem.

• Borderstan is busy reporting local crimes, some occurring in broad daylight.  Highlights include a car break-in at 9:30 am and a foiled rooftop burglar on Church Street NW.

• It's no longer news that President Obama and the Democratic leadership are determined to push through their first attempt at health-care reform before the August recess.  When Rep. Frank Kratovil (D-MD) announced to his constituency that he would vote for the health-care bill, they were upset.  So upset, in fact, that they hung him in effigy during a rally in Salisbury.  Perhaps Kratovil should spend the recess in Washington so as to avoid some of these more fanatic citizens.

• The Democrats' honeymoon is over.  After six months of working together in supposed harmony, it's back to name calling and back room deals.  So says Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA), who's blaming the obstruction of the Blue Dogs on Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.  Apparently he recruited them to run while still serving in Congress and has since failed to get them on board with the President's grand plans for reform.  Politics as usual, it's how the federal government runs.

Bruce Smith, whose 2000 signing is symbolic of everything wrong with the Washington Redskins in the Snyder Era, was convicted of DUI yesterday in Virginia Beach. Smith failed the field sobriety tests administered by police, but his lawyer had argued in court that his client walked unstably because of old knee injuries from his football days.

That argument didn't fly with the judge, so the defense attorney tried some other Hail Marys. From the AP story:

Smith also had trouble following Womble's hand movements with both eyes, but [Smith's lawyer Larry] Cardon said that could have been caused by his client's multiple concussions or the glare of lights from traffic in the opposite lanes of the interstate.

Cardon also noted that while Womble reported a strong smell of alcohol, the officer testified that Smith's speech was not slurred and that he was cooperative. Cardon said there was insufficient evidence to convict.

But prosecutor Kristin L. Paulding said Smith's problems with the sobriety tests were not just physical — he also had trouble following instructions. For example, Smith was told to walk nine steps and turn around, but he walked 14 and had to be told to stop.

With the May arrest, Smith's now been busted three times in the last 12 years. That is believed to be an all-time record for DUI charges for a Redskins defensive end.

And Pac Man Jones gives the NFL a bad name?

Smith will be inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame this summer. Take a cab, Bruce.

Last Friday, Paul Strauss entered a guilty plea to his DUI charge in D.C. Superior Court. The guilty plea amounts to a swift change in tactics–some might suggest an erratic change—for the shadow senator. Strauss had maintained his innocence ever since his arrest on October 1, 2008. At a previous court hearing, his attorney successfully sought a delay for his trial until June; he had wanted the time to seek out an expert witness for his case. He had also previously rejected a plea offer.

So what's the upshot of Strauss' plea? The shadow senator has to now pee in a cup.

Strauss received a 60-day suspended jail sentence, 11 months of supervised probation, a $300 fine, and $100 fine to be paid to the victims of violent crime compensation fund. As part of Strauss' supervised probation, the shadow senator must "abstain from the use of hallucinatory or other drugs, and submit to drug testing....," according to court documents.

Strauss did not return a call for comment nor did he answer his cellphone when we called this afternoon.

All of Strauss' fighting seemed a bit off considering the police account of his behavior on the night of his arrest in Adams Morgan. City Desk previously reported:

"The stop took place after D.C. cops Jose Rodriguez and Andrew Zabavsky clocked Strauss’ car going 49 mph westbound over the Duke Ellington Bridge between Adams Morgan and Woodley Park; the speed limit is 25 mph.

While speaking to Strauss, Rodriguez—who gave the affidavit—noted that his breath smelled of alcohol and that he “had a blank stare, blood shot eyes and appeared confused.” Strauss had “difficulty retrieving” his driver’s license, according to the officer’s account, but he had less difficulty producing another form of identification: While handing over his license, Strauss “displayed his US Senate ID with his right hand…[and] continued to hold the US Senate ID the entire time” until he was told to get out of the car.

“Is this necessary?” Strauss asked.

It became immediately apparent why he might have wanted to remain seated: Strauss, Rodriguez wrote, was “very unsteady on his feet…swaying from side to side and back and forth.” He walked to the rear of the car, grasping it for support, and again pulled out his Senate ID.

His badge did not sway police.

The cops had Strauss perform standard field sobriety tests. After failing a horizontal gaze test, Strauss asked permission to call his lawyer, whom he wasn’t able to reach. After he refused to cooperate with further tests, he was placed under arrest.

Strauss was then taken to 3rd District headquarters. There he was observed by a third officer, who also recorded signs of intoxication and noted that Strauss “had food stains on his shirt and pants.”

At that point, Strauss reached the lawyer, and the two talked for about a half-hour. Afterward, Strauss consented to a breath test, which revealed a blood-alcohol level of 0.16 percent. Under District law, a person is considered intoxicated at 0.08 percent and above."

*photo by Darrow Montgomery.