Posts Tagged ‘District Limerick’

The Friday Limerick Review

The Andean cubs have been seen
With mama bear (named Billie Jean)
The way that they tumbled
M.J. would be humbled
On dance floors, the bear is a queen
The lib ain't intended to last
Perhaps it's a little half-assed
A driver, quite drunk
Took out a big chunk
And shut it all down (that was fast)
This lim'rick is, um, quite hard-hitting
But HushGalleria is [...]

District Limerick: Back Door Edition

Those steps, just a mere forty four
Ascend to the giant bronze door
But as of today
The Justices say
Ya can't go that way anymore
Some say it's what safety requires
A view that is surely not Breyer's
As laid out by Cass
It lets us all pass
Equality's what it inspires

The Friday Limerick Review

In hockey, this week was the worst
The Caps seem to really be cursed
Game 7: they choked
Got totally smoked
An outcome in which they're well-versed
Farewell to the late Dorothy Height
(Whose hats could both awe and delight)
The eulogy, tender
Showed speech-giving splendor
From start to the final sound bite
The teachers continue to wonder
If talks are just doomed to go under
Since [...]

District Limerick: Scattered, Smothered, and Covered

Mad props go to Mr. Fred Smoot
Who's found such a worthy pursuit
It's true; we were cravin'
This breakfasty haven
As always, the man's quite astute
The Florida Grill has sufficed
but spuds must be smothered or diced
Nothing else mattered
If taters weren't scattered
so let's hope the House is enticed

The Friday Limerick Review

You just killed your sixth PBR
And surely you can't drive a car
A bike's your resort?
Heck no, says the Court
You might as well sleep at the bar
The Council made up for lost time
By voting that weed ain't a crime
Get in on the icky
By being a sickie
(No love for you folks in your prime)
And speaking of lives [...]

District Limerick: Low-Hanging Fruit

McDonnell says really, they should
Stop paying for dudes to get wood
The cash he's recouping
While guys are left drooping
Could do the state budget some good
A fix that Tim Kaine pioneered
His budget saw ED drugs cleared
Performance enhancer?
Just wasn't the answer
Viagra somehow reappeared...

The Friday Limerick Review

For once, city workers can smirk
Today, they alone don't have work
With boozing extended
Life's even more splendid!
There's one word for them and it's: jerk.
Once freed from their desk or a meeting
Perhaps D.C. lackeys are tweeting
Now saved for posterity
All your hilarity
Twitter. No longer so fleeting…
The Summit is now in the past
Commutes are no longer harassed
One lesson to [...]

District Limerick: The Amateur Dentistry Edition

Some space in your basement downstairs?
Then quick get a drill and some chairs
No dental degree?
It's easy; you'll see!
Diplomas are surely for squares
But watch that no teeth get infected
'Cause that's how these frauds were detected
The care was regrettable
Though it's what's gettable
Cheap, but it must be corrected

The Friday Limerick Review

Goodbye to the talk of wrong-doing
In home repair; donor-pursuing
Gray's name had been smeared
But now he is cleared
'Bout time; he's got votes to be wooing
There's nothing quite like a spring breeze
Though why does it smell like disease?!
As ginkgoes unfurl
The trees smell like hurl
So spray and spray soon, pretty please?
Some folks find the contract delighting
(That 20 percent [...]

The Friday Limerick Review

Gay marriage: Repubs want to scratch it
Amendment: They tried to attach it
The "big fucking deal"
Rejected their zeal
Since Dems had the votes to dispatch it
I'm hearing the soundbite already
Enrollment in schools is quite steady
The first time in years
They've calmed parents' fears
(Or private school fees are too heady?)
Some places can now safely boast
That citizens like them the [...]

District Limerick: Idle Threats Edition

Annoyances. They're all-consuming
As peak tourist season is looming
With weather so warm
Midwesterners swarm
To see all those cherries a-blooming
I used to be part of that blight
T'was slow-moving, nice, and polite
Of that, I'm bereft
If you stand on the left
Prepare for a tickling fight

The Friday Limerick Review

Behold the new club on the block
For nights when it's dancing o'clock
I hear that the bass
WILL BLOW OFF YOUR FACE
Now that is some serious rock
'bout Rhee there is always some scowling
And Hardy has many folks howling
Now Council proceedings
Take cues from kids' readings
With villainous jabs based on Rowling
Some sunshine, both real and instructive
We citizens find quite [...]

District Limerick: Oh, Hey, Look What Day It Is!

To honor that Emerald Isle
Try kickin' it – limerick style
You say it's too risky?
Drink more of that whiskey
And talk to that lass with the smile
Some limericks really are lewd
With jokes 'bout your mom (in the nude!)
G. Shaw cast aspersions
On sanitized versions
He thought they were crap if not crude
These rhymes are quite Irish, don't fear
But credit [...]

Morning Roundup: The ‘It’s St. Paddy, Not St. Patty, Stupid’ Edition

Top o' the mornin' to you!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! Erin Go Bragh! Green Beer Rules!
Full disclosure: I feel, and am, vastly underqualified to write this Morning Roundup, devoid as I am of any Irish blood. But it's Wednesday, and that's my day, so allow a bonnie lass to try (I'm pretty sure "bonnie lass" is [...]

The Friday Limerick Review

An end to that timeless charade?
(Where Fenty's a jerk through his aide)
Did all of that dough
Make Fenty bestow
The tickets 'fore game one is played?
This week was a sign of our times
And needs something more than mere rhymes
So check out these shots
Of folks tying knots
Imagine those wedding bell chimes...
If I played it cool, I'd be lying
I'm [...]

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