Last night, I watched Barack Obama's acceptance speech on a neighbor's high-falutin' High Definition television. The up-close-and-personal HD technology appears to benefit no face on TV---silver fox Anderson Cooper could stand to lay off the foundation; silver Wolf Blitzer's glinty eyes make him look perpetually high. Barack Obama, however, looks somehow even more fantastic; one member of the viewing party described him as "crisper" in HD. Mmm. Crispy.

Mid-speech, however, the HD turned on Obama, exposing a small collection of saliva in the left crease of the candidate's mouth. (Spittle not pictured in the above Wikipedia-snatched photo). The development nearly incapacitated my housemate; he spent the remainder of the speech in a nervous fit, wishing aloud that one polite delegate would flag down the candidate and discretely wipe his own mouth, the telltale indication that Obama "has got something ... right over ... no ... a little to the left ... there, you've got it."

One viewer twittered the spittle, in the hopes that some party operative would intervene. None answered our call.

Near the speech's end, Obama did move to wipe the corner of his mouth, causing a grand celebration among the party. However, the move only displaced the spittle, helping it to migrate lower down the lip. My housemate hung his head in shame. High Definition spares no one.

Good luck, McCain.

Media Advisory

JOEY PANTS BRINGS THE BRAIN TO THE BIG SCREEN

Emmy-Award winning actor Joe Pantoliano and his non-profit organization, No Kidding, Me Too (NKM2) will debut never-before-seen footage from the upcoming documentary, Hope’s Messengers, during the Democratic National Convention.

Hope’s Messengers takes a humorous and sensitive look into the lives of a group of people living with brain dis-ease (aka mental illness). Pantoliano is featured in the film, as he reflects on the generations in his family with undiagnosed brain dis-ease and his own epiphany after being diagnosed with clinical depression.

Seriously, if the film rips off Gladiator in any way, don't make a big deal about it.