A damaged gravesite at Holy Rood Cemetery in Glover Park. (Photo by Michael E. Grass)

While the recent grave mismanagement scandal at Arlington National Cemetery may dampen local enthusiasm for the national trend of finding creative new uses for cemeteries, in a backwards-kinda-way, it does spark questions about whether D.C. could taking better advantage of its cemetery spaces for the public good.

As The Wall Street Journal reports, cemeteries across the nation are trying to inject new life into places filled with dead people by having sock hops, fireworks, scavenger hunts, and events involving clowns. It’s in part a long-term survival mechanism: attracting the living before they’re dead, to keep the money coming in.

Hell, even in an emptying Detroit, people think the city "should go into the cemetery business." ("When someone dies it would generate city revenue.")

There’s a future in death, but how do the District’s cemeteries stack up?

Holy Rood Cemetery, maintained by Georgetown University, is in a pretty awful state of disrepair (but a great place to watch July 4 fireworks!). Across town on Capitol Hill's eastern end, Congressional Cemetery was once a scary place. But thanks to neighborhood dogwalkers, the historic resting place is largely a safe, clean and maintained final resting place. So sayeth the cemetery’s website: “The presence of dogwalkers at almost every hour of the day constitutes a de facto on site patrol all day long. With watch dog eyes and ears on duty, Congressional is mostly free and clear of riff raff and vandals.” Somebody needs to keep watch over J. Edgar Hoover and John Phillips Sousa!

A grave at Rock Creek Cemetery near Petworth. (Photo by Michael E. Grass)

Rock Creek Cemetery, which borders Petworth, isn’t necessarily hidden, but is unfortunately overlooked as a D.C. attraction. Not only is it a beautiful landscape—and home to a famous Augustus Saint-Gaudens sculpture—but it's the final resting place for a number of famous-for-Washington types, including presidential daughter and socialite Alice Roosevelt Longworth, writer Henry Adams, master brewer Christian Heurich, Riggs Bank founder George Washington Riggs, U.S. Postmaster General Montgomery Blair, Supreme Court Associate Justice John Harlan, and Hope diamond owner and Father Struck It Rich author Evalyn Walsh McLean to name a few. (Writer Gore Vidal plans to be laid to rest at Rock Creek Cemetery, as well.)

Rock Creek Cemetery has hosted larger festivals to draw new people in. But that’s the exception to the rule. Most cemeteries in the District are closed off, precincts for the dead, not the living. But in a crowded city, that’s underutilized open space.

If the cemetery stewards are looking at the Journal article for inspiration, there are ideas aplenty. However, since there are many gravestones at Holy Rood that have fallen over, a community sock-hop competition might not be the best idea.

June 22, 2009-Two trains collide near the Fort Totten station, killing train operator Jeanice McMillian and eight passengers. Another 76 are injured. Deadliest accident in Metro history.

June 29, 2009-A man is struck and killed by an eight-car train at the Forest Glen station just after 4:15 p.m., causing delays on the red line. Preliminary reports indicate that the individual intentionally put himself on the track. (WMATA)

July 24, 2009-A man is struck by a six-car train at the Van Ness station, causing delays on the red line. Witnesses report that he intentionally placed himself on the tracks. (WMATA)

August 10, 2009-Metro repairman Michael Nash, 63, of Silver Spring is fatally struck by the ballast regulator while conducting track maintenance along the orange line. (WMATA)

August 12, 2009-A six-car train headed in the direction of New Carrollton strikes a person who was on the tracks as the train pulled into the station around 11:18 a.m., causing delays of up to 30 minutes on the orange line. (WMATA)

September 8, 2009-WaPo reports on Metro's major budget shortfall, signaling that the transit authority may have to raise fares.

September 10, 2009-12-year veteran Metro employee John Moore, 44, of Arlington "walked down a staircase in a vent shaft, opened a door to the track bed area known as the 'right of way' and was struck" by a six-car train, causing major delays on the blue and yellow lines. He dies four days later. Moore is the third Metro employee killed in 2009. (WMATA)

September 13, 2009-A man is struck and killed by a six-car train headed in the direction of Shady Grove at 7:58 a.m. According to WMATA: "The preliminary investigation indicates that the man, a customer, placed himself in the path of the train. Customers can expect major delays on the Red Line throughout the remainder of the morning while police conduct an investigation."

September 15, 2009-WTOP reports on the rash of suicides on Metro tracks: "So far in 2009, Metro says there have been eight incidents, six of them fatal."

September 17, 2009-Another reported suicide. A 15-year-old D.C. resident is fatally struck by a six-car train as it pulled into the Columbia Heights station. According to WMATA: "The 1:55 p.m. incident disrupted service for a little more than two hours. Service returned to normal at 4:15 p.m....The preliminary investigation indicates that the young man intentionally placed himself in the path of the train."

September 22, 2009- The NTSB issues nine safety recommendations—six deemed urgent— to address concerns about train control systems stemming from the investigation into the deadly Metro crash that killed nine in June. (WTTG-TV)

November 29, 2009-Three Metro employees are injured after two out-of-service trains collide at the Falls Church rail yard in Fairfax County. According to WMATA: "Service to customers was not affected...."

November 30, 2009-An individual is struck by a train at the Gallery Place-Chinatown station at about 3:35 p.m., causing "major delays of an hour or more on the Red Line throughout the remainder of the afternoon rush period," according to WMATA, which later updates the situation: "The preliminary investigation indicates that two young men were involved in an altercation and one individual pushed the other into the side of the last car of a six-car train.  The young man fell to the platform and was aided by local emergency medical first responders. The individual, a minor, was transported to a nearby hospital."

January 4, 2010- A 50-year-old woman from Kensington, MD, is struck by a six-car Red Line train at the Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan station at 11:36 p.m. According to WMATA: "The Metro Transit Police continue to investigate, but preliminary information shows that the woman intentionally placed herself in the path of the train."

January 27, 2010- Two Metro employees working on the tracks are killed when struck by a Metro utility vehicle (WaPo). Jeffrey Garrard, 49 of Clarksburg and Sung Oh, 68, of Montgomery Village had been installing new train control equipment around 1:45 a.m. (WTOP).

February 3, 2010-The Examiner reports that a 22-year-old Germantown man had killed himself by jumping off the seventh floor of a parking garage at the Shady Grove station. Metro did not notify the media about the death, as it "had no effect on service." It was "the second major incident in three days that the agency did not share with the public," the paper reported. Two days earlier, a maintenance vehicle carrying 20 workers slid on an icy rail into a truck on the red line between the Medical Center and Grosvenor-Strathmore stations, causing a chain reaction that damaged four trucks.

February 12, 2010-A Metro train derails near the Farragut North station. According to WMATA, "the preliminary report is that the front wheels of lead car is the one that came off the tracks."

February 17, 2010-Fares on Metrorail, Metrobus and MetroAccess increase 10 cents. WMATA further warns that "[a]dditional fare changes and other actions related to Metro’s fiscal year 2011 budget are likely later this spring as Metro grapples with a projected $189 million budget deficit."

March 12, 2010-A train operator with nearly 11 years experience is fired for her involvement in the February derailment at Farragut North. According to WMTA: "She was dismissed for failing to follow standard operating procedures."

April 20, 2010-A piece of track equipment that "developed a mechanical problem" at 4:30 a.m. near the West Hyattsville station is blamed for causing major delays on the green line. According to WMATA: "Customers can anticipate delays of up to 30 minutes throughout the morning rush hour."

April 22, 2010-Metro's Board of Directors tensely debate proposed fare hikes and service cuts to help close the transit authority's $200 million budget gap. (WTOP) The proposed budget includes some $6 million to implement federal safety recommendations following the deadly June train crash and another $100,000 for a proposed suicide prevention program.

April 23, 2010-A six-car train derails just after pulling into the New Carrollton Metrorail Yard at about 7:45 p.m. No injuries (in fact, no customers were riding) and rail service is not affected. (WMATA)

May 10, 2010- The Examiner reports that Metro's program to combat the unusual spate of rail-track suicides is running months behind.

May 12, 2010-Fox 5 reports on the "ongoing problem" of rowdy Metro riders engaged in fisticuffs and other horseplay.

May 17, 2010-A Metrorail operator noticed 52-year-old rider Rickey Van Houter slumped over in a seat around 3 p.m. It was later determined the dead man may have been sitting there for nearly five hours before anyone noticed him. He died of natural causes. But the incident prompted Metro to implement a new policy, requiring train operators to walk through the rail cars before the train comes to rest in the rail yard to look for passengers in distress. (WTTG-TV)

May 27, 2010-Metro's Board of Directors approves a record 15-percent fare hike.

June 4, 2010-Metro temporarily halts service at Union Station while police investigate what WMATA inititally describes as "an altercation on the platform." Later reports indicate a group of youths severely beat-up a teenager while attempting to rob him of his Air Jordans; witnesses reported seeing guns (Examiner).

June 16, 2010-The Dunn Loring station is closed after a person is struck by an inbound six-car train at about 1:15 p.m. WMATA warns riders: "Orange Line customers should expect delays throughout the remainder of the afternoon as emergency personnel respond to the scene."

June 18, 2010-Three employees are disciplined for letting a 10-car train run on the green line. Station platforms can only accommodate eight-car trains. Longer locomotives may put passengers at risk of falling onto open tracks (WJLA-TV).

June 22, 2010-Metro officials memorialize the victims on the anniversary of its deadliest crash in history. NTSB notes that none of its resulting safety recommendations have been implemented. (WaPo)

Photo by AgnosticPreachersKid/Creative Commons Attribution License

Here's a sampling of some of my favorite posts about Betts:

*"when we were 16 (JUST), I was a bit mad and had a big crush on a lifeguard in Virginia Beach. Brian and I set out on day in that summer in his mother's Monte Carlo. It was white. We drove 5 hours to Va beach to see him. We told his parents that I had an aunt in Lake Anna (we calculated the time and distance to see if ...it was credible). How stupid were we? (seriously). But we did it. 10 hours in the car together for me to see a lifeguard that was really not interested. That was/is friendship. I can go on with silly stories like this, but that is not important. He was/is a great man, brother, son, person, principal etc. I love him, I miss him and we MUST carry on his dream. RIP"

*"I didn't know Mr Betts; I attend a private school in McLean, Virginia, and never even knew Mr Betts existed until this morning. However, I felt compelled and somewhat obliged to promote his memory because my best friend was Erika Smith, the then-9 year old who was murdered alongside her father in 2002 in the house Mr B...etts purchased and died in. The murders are presumed to be unrelated, I know. But this morbid, horrific coincidence has made me feel unfortunately connected to Mr Betts' plight by a tragic association and by something as simple as purchasing a home. I'm not going to pretend I knew Mr Betts at all. But from what I've read on this page, in articles, he seemed like a great guy and was much-loved, and I'm absolutely devastated. I hope his family, friends, coworkers, and students find the solace they need somehow; solace I know is not easy to find, solace I still have not found. But I hope they find theirs, and that his death is avenged and he remains honoured."

*"Brian Betts was one of the best things that ever happened to my children. You guided them, joked with them, taught them life lessons that will remain with them for always. Plus, you were there for me. God Bless You Brian for all your strength and love you gave each life you touched. You will be missed....but your legacy of education and love of all will go on. "

"*I Remember When I Alwayss Got In Trouble And Mr Betts Would Never Yell At Me He Would Say Karen You Need To Change The Way You Act And I Never Listened To Him But Now I Think Imma Listen To Him And Movee Forword With Life.Rest In Peace Mr. Brian Keith Betts.♥ "

*"I remember in Neelsville, you would always make sure I was in PE class and in math class. You made sure, that every student in your classroom learned what you taught, no matter if it took more than one day to teach it. You made sure that your students were successful. You are the best teacher/coach/leader/principal tha...t anybody could ask for. You definitely taught me alot and I will miss you but you are never forgotten. Keep watching me! R.I.P Brian Betts"

Let's hope his murder gets solved soon, and DCPS finds a way to create a lasting tribute to Betts.

On September 9, defense attorney Jensen E. Barber passed away at Sibley Hospital, succumbing to a lung infection. He had fought off the infection for weeks inside the ICU. He was 64.

A prominent lawyer had e-mailed me the news while I was away. He knew I'd want to know. He had listened to me talk up Barber's skills,  gushing about his chops inside a courtroom and his charm outside of them. It is hard not to still feel shocked that Barber will no longer be brightening up an intricate federal drug case with his southern charm and monogrammed peach-sorbet colored shirts.

I can still remember sitting next to him at Zola after he insisted on taking me out for a special Hanukkah dinner. My entire wardrobe cost less than his handkerchiefs. I spent the entire night just listening, and trying not to embarrass myself.

I'd seen the man's work up close and always walked away thinking Barber was the smartest man in the courtroom. He'd question a government's witness like a great chess master—three moves ahead of whatever the prosecutor was thinking. When the moment demanded it, he could be a passionate and articulate storyteller. Hundreds of defendants got the benefit of his presence and his ease with a powerful narrative.  Now people get to tell stories about Barber.

At his recent memorial service, both defense attorneys and prosecutors showed up. Barber was someone so fundamentally good that even the most veteran prosecutors held him in high standing.

"Jensen Barber was a very respected defense counsel who represented his clients zealously and honorably," writes Acting U.S. Attorney Channing Phillips in an e-mail to City Desk. "He was the consummate professional and a straight shooter whose word you could rely on. He also was a genuinely decent person with a great sense of humor, and one whose time was way too short."

After the news broke of Barber's death, Joan Draper, a long-time AUSA and long-time Barber friend, solicited recollections and thoughts from a number of prosecutors.

One prosecutor told Draper that Barber's obit mentioned his receiving the bronze star for his bravery in Vietnam. The prosecutor felt that this may have given readers the impression that Barber was some Rambo type. He wasn't. He had a different style of bravery. "[The prosecutor] called it the Atticus Finch bravery," Draper says. "Quiet resolve. Always a professional putting it forward."

Another told Draper that Barber always left the fighting for the courtroom. In between the sparring, Barber would be telling jokes over fine meals or offering sailboat trips on the Chesapeake.

Draper recalls working a drug case against Barber in 1984. She had just joined the U.S. Attorney's Office; she was a total rookie. When a continuance was needed, Barber wrote up the motion. Draper says he then showed her the already court-stamped motion papers. The papers contained an admission that the case was just another dumb drug case. He attributed the confession to Draper.

Draper fell for the prank. The two quickly became friends. He took to calling her "Joanie Caucus" after the Doonsbury character.

"The guy had the ability to make friends with everybody," Draper says. "He always kept his word.... He was just a very straight shooter.... I can tell you public defenders I steer clear of or people with the CJA bar. Jensen wasn’t like that. People saw him as a very above-board guy. Not that he didn’t fight. He fought big time for his guys. But he was human."

For at least the last decade of his life, Barber's main fights involved high-profile RICO death penalty cases. Among these long and complicated trials, Barber stood out as a leader on the defense side. He was very proud of this work, especially when he could save a client from a long sentence or worse. He saved Larry Gooch from a death-penalty verdict in 2007. Before the trial, he spoke out against the increased use of the death penalty to the Wall Street Journal.

Steve Kiersh, a defense attorney, has known Jensen for over 20 years. The two had recently co-counseled a MS-13 gang case in Greenbelt. “He was a very, very good lawyer, a very thorough lawyer, a very caring lawyer and a very hard fighting lawyer," he says.

Barber was born in Asheville, North Carolina. He was fluent in French and Spanish. He outfitted his condo with a killer stereo system. He cried at the opera. You can read his bio here.

As has been mentioned by other attorneys, his other main passions were his long-time companion, Lilliane Litton, and sailing the Chesapeake. "He had a couple different boats," recalls civil attorney Curt Hansen. "I remember the first sailboat—this sort of tubby sailboat. He took me out on that. We spent a day out there and it was like late, late at night when we finally came back in the harbor.  We ran out of wind. I couldn’t get the engine started. The alternator on the thing hadn’t been working so the battery had run down so we didn’t have any running lights. Jensen started paddling."

Hansen continues: "He was standing in the back of the boat and he was singing opera like he was a gondolier. As we got close, I yelled at him: 'Why are you singing?'" Jensen replied: "So that no one will crash into us." Hansen argued that people may be trying to sleep, that they might take offense to his operatic stylings.

"So he says 'OK,' and then he started singing some Allman Brothers," Hansen recalls.

“He treated everyone as though they were family," Hansen says. "Even his clients. In a certain respect, he had that Woody Allen Broadway Danny Rose aspect to his character."

Jensen's circle was big. He collected all of us: journalists, lawyers, an ABC producer in New York, whoever. Every few months, he'd call or I'd call. He'd answer ironically formal: "Hello, Mr. Cherkis." On his voice mail, he pretended to be a British butler.

He'd let you tease him about his peach shirts. If the time allowed, he'd take two hours to explain his latest defense strategy or show off his new computer-assisted gadgets for an upcoming closing argument. I recall he had a fake security camera posted high above his desk.

“With Jensen, you felt that he was genuinely interested in you or anyone that he would meet—almost to a fault. Sometimes he would spread himself too thin trying to solve or address everyone’s issues or problems," Hansen says.

Those monogrammed shirts expanded his circle even further. Draper says Barber often passed them on to his companion's Cuban masseuse. She recalls: "Those clothes would all get sent to Cuba."

Somewhere in Havana, Cuban men are walking around with Barber's initials on their breast pockets—one tiny, inadvertent tribute I'm sure he would have loved.

A short time ago, Washington City Paper called the L.A. Coroner's Office for confirmation on the rumors concerning the King of Pop's alleged death. 

When Washington City Paper asked for confirmation, we were put on hold. 

We are still on hold. 

While we wait, we revel in the memory of having watched (already) Al Sharpton's press conference, Michael Eric Dyson's faux scholarly take (seriously, this guy is a vampire), and MSNBC's Keith Olbermann interview an Access Hollywood "reporter."

Shit, we're no longer on hold.

I ask about getting confirmation of Michael Jackson's death.

"Sure. Michael Jackson was pronounced dead at 2:26 p.m.," says Lt. Fred Corral. "He died at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. He was transferred by paramedics from his residence. His death is a coroner's case. We will be bringing him to our facility to do an autopsy examination."

Is Jackson at the coroner's office now?

"We have not brought him in," Lt. Corral says.

Phillies announcer Harry Kalas collapsed early this afternoon in the Nationals Park press box and died at George Washington University Medical Center. The Inquirer writes:

"The cause of the death was not announced. Today's game against the Nationals will be played, but the team will not visit the White House tomorrow.

'We lost Harry today,' David Montgomery, the team president, said. 'We lost our voice.'

Mr. Kalas, who was found unconsious, missed most of spring training after undergoing undisclosed surgery in Feburary. That surgery was unrelated to the detached retina that sidelined him for part of last season.

Mr. Kalas, who turned 73 on March 26, has broadcast Phillies games since 1971. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2002 as the recipient of the Ford C. Frick Award. He is entering the final season of a 3-year contract that he signed in December 2006."

The Post reports:

"Montgomery said that Kalas was found unconscious in a broadcast booth, where he was preparing to work Monday's game against the Nationals. He was found by the Phillies director of broadcasting at about 12:30 p.m.

Montgomery called his condition serious at that time, and the Phillies closed the visitors' clubhouse to the media....

Kalas, who has broadcast Phillies games since 1971, was known for his distinctive "Outta here!" home run call. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame after receiving the Ford C. Frick Award in 2002."

There are tons of comments pouring into the Phillies website. The Philadelphia City Paper offers its own tribute. Pop Cesspool offers his respects. ESPN has text and video. Surely, today's home-opener will be a sad affair. Meanwhile, the Nats can't even sellout their home opener.

Who knew that obeying one's thirst could have such dire consequences?

Observe the stick figure below—let's call him Bob. Bob is trying his damnedest to wrest a free soda or two from the death machine. He looks pretty thirsty. The curvy arrows seem to indicate that Bob is both rocking and tilting the death machine. That can't be good. Didn't he read the sign?

"[DEATH] MACHINE WILL NOT DISPENSE FREE PRODUCT IF TIPPED"

Call me crazy, but I've always commiserated with these little suckers, the stick figures of the world, eternally trapped behind the red strike-through of what not to do. "Don't become another statistic!" they seem to cry, their predicament all the more poignant because they have no facial features. Whether they're trapped between the closing doors of the Metro or suspended over a slippery spot on the floor, the Red Circle catches them just before the moment of truth, right in the "oh, shit" moment, when all they can say is, "what have I done!?" Hence the immediacy, the illustrative power...nay, the pathos of these little everymen.

But let's think of Bob in happier days. Playing with his dog, perhaps:

And here, for example, he appears to be feeding his child to an alligator:

But what of the death machine? One hopes that Bob didn't end up like his colleague here:

Select photos courtesy of the Stick Figures in Peril Flickr pool