Nice interview in the latest edition of Bookslut with Dave Housley, the D.C author of the short-story collection Ryan Seacrest Is Famous (we profiled him in November ‘07) and coeditor at the literary journal Barrelhouse (which disclosed its Patrick Swayze anxiety in our pages last April). He talks a little about Barrelhouse, the story collection, and Swayze, but the best exchange involves a hypothetical scenario:

You are in a little room with Ryan Seacrest, 40 copies of your book, and an oversized toothbrush. Ryan Seacrest has a cellphone with your mother’s number in it. He also has a squirt tube of skin bronzer in his tight jean pockets. There are no windows or doors in the room, but there is a TV, and Ryan Seacrest is trying to watch TV. What’s going to happen?

Now, the most interesting part of this is that squirt tube of skin bronzer. I really feel like he might have that in his tight jean pockets. Do you think when he leaves the house he actually might have a squirt tube of skin bronzer? He probably would carry it in a little man-purse, or he’d have an assistant carry it for him and he’d shout “TAN” every now and then, and the assistant would have to come rub bronzer on Ryan Seacrest, and then by the end of the day, the assistant’s $500 jeans would be the exact color of Ryan Seacrest’s hair, because he’s been given nothing to wipe his hands on, other than Ryan Seacrest.

Photo of Dave Housley by Darrow Montgomery

Those not interested in attending Richard Peabody’s Politics & Prose dudefest this evening can head over to the Hillyer Art Space, where they will find a more femme-oriented event. There will be ladies on rollerskates.

Tonight, local lit mag Barrelhouse celebrates the release of its sixth issue with a Rollergirl-power themed party featuring the D.C. Rollergirls, “roller derby artist” (yep) Cory Oberndorfer, and discounts on the new issue of the mag—also roller-derby-themed. Catch local author and Barrelhouse editor Dave Housley at both events—he’ll read first at Peabody’s release, then head over to Hillyer on the late night tip.

Along with its usual offerings of fiction, poetry, and pop-culture musings, the new issue will include the winners of Barrelhouse’s “Roller Derby Invitational” contest, which Housley says provided for a knock-down competition. “The roller derby people are really organized, and they’re online,” says Housley. “We got a lot of submissions. Some were normal stories that happened to be set in the world of roller derby. Some were essays about the difference roller derby had made in their lives. A fair amount of submissions were guys who were just in love with roller derby girls because they can kick their ass.”

If you happen to be one of those guys, you’re in luck: Barrelhouse confirms that the roller derby team will be available for arm wrestling. However, note that the mag’s mention of “roller derby girls with 34-inch pythons” should not be taken literally. “I think it’s pro-wrestling talk,” explains Housley. “There will not be snakes. There will definitely be real girls there, though.”

Photo by mookielove