The Cliff's Notes Version: In 1988, when Alston attended Seat Pleasant Elementary, Pollin came to the school and promised her and all her fifth-grade classmates that he'd pay for their college educations so long as they graduated high school. Alston grew up to take full advantage of Pollin's benevolence: He paid for her to get an undergraduate degree at the University of Maryland and a law degree at UDC. He also bought her a lot of lunches and concert tickets along the way, and provided the sort of inspiration that money can't buy.

When Pollin died last November, Alston spoke at his funeral and came away motivated to take her first shot at politics. And, after waging a campaign run by another member of Pollin's adopted class, Alston won. 

I had been talking to Alston now and then over the years, ever since I found out she was a member of Pollin's "adopted" class. But I was not aware she was running for office. I only learned about her win when looking at the election results for Maryland's 24th District during the recent Democratic Primaries in Maryland. I was interested in that race because Michael Vaughn, a candidate who falsely claimed on a campaign web site to have played three years with the Dallas Cowboys, was also running.

Both Alston and Vaughn were among the three winners, out of a field of 10 candidates, in the race for Democratic Party nominations for the three House of Delegates slots in the District. No Republican candidates have registered to oppose them in the general election, so a primary win all but guarantees them each seats.

Alston's feel-good tale provided an equal and opposite reaction to Vaughn's feel-bad story. I was really taken by Alston's courage, and touched by all the gratitude she has for Pollin. He came into her life 22 years ago, and is still a positive influence. Now she wants to pay his good deeds forward, and is hoping to establish a scholarship in Pollin's name for students in her home district — which includes the ground the old Capital Centre stood on before its 2002 demolition, and Seat Pleasant Elementary School. I gotta say, it's not every day I come across a story that hits me like Alston's life story did. My faith in humanity is almost restored!

Michael Vaughn who?

Burke tells Redskins fans that they should love Snyder, because, you know, he just wants to win. To prove it, he quotes Snyder saying he just wants to win.

Snyder, Burke says, just needs the same amount of time and compassion fans of other teams gave their owners. 

"Has it worked yet? No," Burke writes of Snyder's methodology. Had he stopped there, Burke would have saved himself from Stoogedom. 

Alas, he didn't stop there: "But it took Jerry Jones of the Cowboys, Robert Kraft of the Patriots and even George Steinbrenner of the Yankees years to figure it out."

Monte, Monte, Monte! Who writes your material?

Yeah, it took "years," alright. In Kraft's case: Two years. The Patriots, who had never won more than 11 games in their history before Kraft got 'em, were in the Super Bowl two years after he took over the team; he's got three Lombardi Trophies. If I'm reading Wikipedia right, Jones won a Super Bowl less than four years after buying the team. He got his three Lombardi Trophies within eight seasons. Steinbrenner got the Yankees in 1973. He had his team in the World Series by 1976, and won two of his seven championships by 1978.

Of course, the biggest flaw in Burke's post is that it assumes winning and losing is the key reason Snyder is so reviled around here. Actually, he's so reviled because Redskins fans, unlike Burke, have paid attention to how Snyder's acted since buying the team about 12 seasons ago.

The Forbes aggregation software apparently deciphers what its writer can't: In a section located just beneath the Snyder blog post called "Related Stories," there's a link to a story titled "Female Employee Yvonne Hiller Kills Two In Kraft Shooting." Just a hunch: I bet readers can come closer to answering Burke's original question from that other piece.

But when an exclusive investigation by Cheap Seats Daily's one-man I-Team (slogan: "There is an 'I" in 'I-Team'"!) uncovered the shocking truth about his Cowboys non-career, Vaughn first blamed the bogosity on his "webmaster," then told reporters following up on the incorrectitudes that he'd also played for the New Orleans Saints and the New Jersey Generals.

There is just as much evidence that he played for those teams as there is that he played for the Cowboys.

In other, um, word: None.

But voters in the 24th District, a jurisdiction that includes FedExField, the Home of the Washington Redskins, didn't hold the 0-3 record with football boasts against Vaughn.

On Democratic Party Primary Day, Vaughn got 20.52 percent of the vote, good for second place in the field of 10 wannabe delegates. The top three votegetters in the primary move on to the bonus round on Election Day in November. Given the heavy Dem concentration in the district, qualifying for the general election means Vaughn is all but assured of retaining his seat.

"My credibility is all I have," Vaughn told the Gazette newspapers after the I-Team investigation. Well, your credibility AND your 3-year run with the Dallas Cowboys.

Dallas Sucks: Redskins beat Cowboys, 13-7, at FedEx Field, thanks mostly to Dallas penalties and fumbles that would get a kid benched in Pop Warner games. One game in, Mike Shanahan's crew already has 25 percent of the victories that Jim Zorn's team managed last year. Sadly, Dan Snyder still owns the team, which puts natural limits on any fan's optimism. But hey, we're undefeated! +4

What's In Your Wallet?: One of the D.C. area's best-known brands, Chevy Chase Bank, is gobbled up once and for all by Capital One, the subprime credit card behemoth that purchased Chevy Chase last year. Bank branches that closed on Friday as Chevy Chase outposts opened today as Capital One. Non-natives of the region used to sometimes wonder how that comedian from Saturday Night Live got his own bank, but in its day, Chevy Chase was as much a fixture in many Washingtonians' daily commerce as Giant Food (now owned by a Dutch multinational), Hechinger (gone under) or Hot Shoppes (now just another defunct brand owned by Marriott). Note: This item has now used up the entire year's quota of nostalgia for one large, rich corporation that's been acquired by another. -3

Metro Ready for U Street Sale: When Metro dug the Green Line along U Street in the 1990s, the construction project nearly killed commercial life on the corridor. Apparently, in the process, the transit agency got hold of 28,000 square feet near the south entrance to the U Street/Cardozo stop, which officials now plan to sell through a competitive bidding process. Developer LaKritz Adler has already submitted a plan for a hotel and conference center to serve nearby Howard University. Presumably, the proposal includes requirements that escalators break down at random intervals in order to make it fit in better with Metro's existing service. +2

The Dismemberment Plan is Reunited: Hometown faves the Dismemberment Plan last played together three years ago at a City Paper-sponsored two-night stand at the Black Cat, but otherwise the band has been quiet since breaking up in 2003. Well, no longer must you do the standing still: The group is reuniting for five shows this January. If you lived in D.C. between the mid-‘90s and the early oughts and fall into a certain demographic—that’d be the genre-hopping, R&B-loving, hard-dancing indie-spazz set—then you know no band puts on a live show as ecstatic as D-Plan’s. The reunion begs two questions: How quickly will the shows—Jan. 21 at the Black Cat, Jan. 22 at 9:30 Club—sell out? (Black Cat tix go on sale Friday.) And will frontman Travis Morrison still be wearing the same sweat-soaked button-down shirt he’s donned for shows since time immemorial? The answers: within minutes, and no doubt. +3

Friday's Needle rating: 51 Today's score: +6 Today's Needle rating: 57

Clearly, our nation's power brokers were moved by last week's Cheap Seats column on the history of the NFL's blackout rule: Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) is now urging Commissioner Roger Goodell to suspend enforcement of his league's rule, which prevents (wink wink) games not sold out 72 hours before kickoff from being broadcast on TV in the host city.

Brown feels the blackouts should be lifted during the recession.

“Football has been a long source of pride for communities across Ohio," Brown wrote in a letter to the commish that was snail-mailed from D.C. yesterday. "It is deeply troubling that increasing blackouts could deprive families and friends the tradition of watching their beloved Cleveland Browns or Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday afternoons. I ask the NFL to examine its current television blackout policies and develop solutions that allow for franchises to remain viable businesses, while allowing fans to enjoy the game they love, both in person at the stadium or on television at home.”

“NFL blackout policies should be revisited as our nation faces the worst economic crisis in generations. During these difficult times, working families are struggling to make ends meet.  Although appealing, attending a football game is simply cost prohibitive for too many Ohioans.  The average price for an NFL game ticket is $77 – nearly ten times the hourly minimum wage.  The problem will only become worse, as 18 teams have increased ticket prices for the upcoming 2010 season.”

Brown spokesperson Lauren Kulik tells me her boss was moved to write the letter because he'd heard "a lot of talk about blackouts in Cincinnati" over the offseason.

Brown isn't the first Congressman to get involved in the NFL's broadcast policies, of course: The current blackout rule, after all, was originally put in place by Public Law 93-107, a bill passed on Capitol Hill and signed into law by President Richard Nixon just before the 1973 season began. Before then, NFL owners blacked out even sold out games, fearing that local TV broadcasts would kill the market to watch the live product. That law expired on Dec. 31, 1975, but the 72-hour rule has been enforced (wink wink) by the league voluntarily ever since.

Brown probably needn't worry about anything. Now, all the serious revenues owners get come from television, not the ticket buyers, so they want as much TV exposure as possible. NFL officials argue otherwise— "A game has to be sold out to be on TV, no exceptions," an NFL spokesman told me —but to these untrained eyes the blackouts rule appears mostly cosmetic these days. There are a bazillion loopholes in the NFL's blackouts policy that keep games on air.

There's all sorts of anecdotal evidence that the Redskins game against Dallas was not sold out in time to meet the letter of the league law, for example. But even without any intervention from Sen. Brown or Roger Goodell, Vegas is convinced that the game's gonna be on anyway.

Full letter to Commissioner Goodell after the jump.

September 9, 2010

Mr. Roger Goodell

Commissioner

National Football League

280 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Dear Commissioner Goodell:

Beginning this week, the Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals will play their first game of the 2010 NFL regular season.  While fans cannot wait for the start of the season, I am concerned that supporters spanning Ohio’s small towns and urban cities will be deprived of the chance to watch the Browns and Bengals compete on television.  The NFL’s blackout policies – which require home games to be blacked out in local television markets if it is not sold out 72 hours prior to kickoff – could deny Ohioans the opportunity to watch these games.

While I understand the need for the league to sell tickets and maintain an attractive television product, NFL blackout policies should be revisited as our nation faces the worst economic crisis in generations.  During these difficult times, working families are struggling to make ends meet.  Although appealing, attending a football game is simply cost prohibitive for too many Ohioans.  The average price for an NFL game ticket is $77 – nearly ten times the hourly minimum wage.  The problem will only become worse, as 18 teams have increased ticket prices for the upcoming 2010 season.

Current economic conditions, coupled with rising ticket prices, have led to a predictable rise in the number of blackouts.  Last season, the NFL blacked out 22 games, which represents a 144 percent increase from the previous season.  With overall attendance expected to decline further this year, some experts believe the NFL will black out even more games this season, and thus make it even harder for fans to watch their favorite teams.

Football has been a long source of pride for communities across Ohio.  It is deeply troubling that increasing blackouts could deprive families and friends the tradition of watching their beloved Cleveland Browns or Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday afternoons.  I ask the NFL to examine its current television blackout policies and develop solutions that allow for franchises to remain viable businesses, while allowing fans to enjoy the game they love, both in person at the stadium or on television at home.

Thank you in advance for your consideration of this matter.  I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Sincerely,

Sherrod Brown

United States Senator

Michael Vaughn

Well, nobody can accuse Vaughn of under-digging lately. The hole he's dug for himself gets deeper every day.

Yesterday, in his continued crusade against a Cheap Seats column that showed the bogusness of his Dallas Cowboys claim, Vaughn told the Baltimore Sun that he also had "a short run with the New Jersey Generals."

The Generals were the flagship franchise of the USFL. That team, which was owned by Donald Trump, and the whole league went out of business after the 1985 season.

Unfortunately for Vaughn, a few obsessive fans kept a lot of data about what went on in the league's three-year existence, including who actually played in the USFL.

And, based on what's out there, Vaughn's run with the Generals was as short as his playing career with the Dallas Cowboys: So short that nobody but him remembers it.

The amazing website usfl.info has a list of 127 players who wore the Generals uniform between 1983-1985. The roster is in alphabetical order, so "Michael Vaughn" should be sandwiched between an unknown, "Walter Tullis," and a legend, "Herschel Walker."

Get this: It ain't there!

Of course, USFL record-keeping was never an exact science. But Vaughn has by now also claimed to have played for, first, the Dallas Cowboys, and later, the New Orleans Saints, and the NFL says he never played for either of those teams.

So, knowing that "Michael Vaughn" isn't among the 127 folks who get credit for playing for the New Jersey Generals, Vegas is currently leaning toward: Michael Vaughn never played for the New Jersey Generals.

But, Vegas is flighty. Show us what you got, Del. Vaughn! Keep digging!

By the way: After the USFL and the New Jersey Generals went out of business, Herschel Walker went on to play for the Dallas Cowboys. No, really! You can look it up!

I got a call yesterday from Michael Vaughn, the Maryland delegate from Prince George's County whose official campaign bio boasted that he "played professional football for the Dallas Cowboys for 3 years” when he actually hadn't played even a single play for the Cowboys or any other NFL team.

He was mad about a story I wrote about the bogusness of his bio. He said I "didn’t dig deep enough" into his Cowboys career. He repeated claims that he was "signed by the Cowboys in May [of 1980]," and said he was "with the team through August." He sent me a .pdf of a clip from The Advocate, a Baton Rouge, La., newspaper dated May 11, 1980 that goes over where some football players from Southern University, Vaughn's alma mater, were trying to land on their cleats.

From that article:

"Since the close of the draft, wide receiver Michael Vaughn and defensive back Jeff Allen have been given playing chances by the Dallas Cowboys," the story says.

Vaughn was not picked by any team in the 1980 NFL draft. There is no other mention of Vaughn in that 1980 Advocate story.

To undo the political harm caused by my article, Vaughn said, he and his communications staff drafted a statement yesterday afternoon.

The opening of Vaughn's statement:

This week, The Washington City Paper posted on their website unresearched and inaccurate information about my biography in an attempt to create the appearance of dishonesty on my part. Unfortunately, I was unaware of an error on my campaign website, created by an outside marketing firm. Upon learning of the error, I immediately corrected the mistake.

There are some problems with Vaughn's statement. For starters, that part about "Upon learning of the error, I immediately corrected the mistake" couldn't be more phony. I talked to Vaughn on Friday, July 30, about the bogus Cowboys claims and my inability to verify his bio; he said at that time that the football career misinformation had been put on the site without his knowledge by a "Web master," but then left the incorrect information that we had discussed on his campaign site for another six days. No changes were made until the following Thursday, when my story came out.

But while I'm no James Carville, the biggest hurdle Vaughn will face in his political damage control campaign, far as I can tell, is that he didn’t really play for the Dallas Cowboys for "3 years." Again, he didn't really play for the Dallas Cowboys for a single play.

Ask the Cowboys: "We have no record of him playing for the Dallas Cowboys," team spokesperson Jancy Briles told me. Briles looked through NFL databases and couldn't find a single reference to Vaughn as a player, either. Guess Briles didn't dig deep enough.

Or ask the sports information department at Southern University, which compiled a "composite list" of more than 80 former players who went on to play pro ball, from the NFL to the CFL all the way down to the Arena Football League. Michael Vaughn isn't on that list. Guess his alma mater didn't dig deep enough.

Or maybe no Cowboys games were played between May and August 1980, let alone "3 years" worth.

Speaking of not digging deep enough, I asked Vaughn again yesterday how the bogus information about his Cowboys career made it onto his campaign bio.

“I am currently exploring to find out how that got there," he said.

Good luck on the exploration, Magellan. Get back to me when you hit land.

Vaughn's full statement after the jump.

STATEMENT FROM DELEGATE MICHAEL L. VAUGHN

August 9, 2010

This week, The Washington City Paper posted on their website unresearched and inaccurate information about my biography in an attempt to create the appearance of dishonesty on my part. Unfortunately, I was unaware of an error on my campaign website, created by an outside marketing firm. Upon learning of the error, I immediately corrected the mistake.

However, The Washington City Paper did not take a mistake at face value and chose to infer political opportunism on my part.

Here are the facts:

·         Following my college career at Southern University, I was signed by the Dallas Cowboys as a free agent wide receiver in 1980. This information can be verified by news reports at the time, including one in The Baton Rouge Advocate reported on May 11, 1980.

·         I am a member of the NFL Alumni Association, as a professional member, a designation exclusive to former paid professionals. I am a member of this organization because I was a paid player.

This incident demonstrates the growing problem that we have in the 24/7 media culture, where publications do not do their homework and try to make inferences based on half of the story. Citizens deserve more from media coverage.

The piece takes a photo of a poster taken by FedExField security guards before the Eagles/Skins game that says "Hi to my huband in Afghanistan," and runs with it. The Great Dan Steinberg made that poster famous after fishing it out of the trash near the stadium entrance.

To be fair, Snyder has shown support for our National Defense. Well, he put out a Commemorative Sept. 11 Redskins hat that had a red-white-and-blue Pentagon stitched on to the side in 2005.

And he sold that hat for only $23.99. Plus shipping. And he kept the money. But still. Bottom line: When Military.com lowers the boom on you, something's gotta give.

And everybody's favorite magazine geared toward an audience of corporate counsel people, Corporate Counsel magazine, also jumps in this week with "Not Exactly a Banner Season for the Washington Redskins."

The publication interviews new Redskins COO and total BS'er David Donovan about the new policies at FedExField prohibiting signs and banning interviews in the parking lot, and he was also asked about fans at the Eagles game having to remove their t-shirts if the message on the garments was anti-Snyder.

"We're not trying to limit what anyone wants to say or chant or wear," Donovan told Corporate Counsel.

Wow. Thus continues Donovan's awe-inspiring streak of just saying stuff so dishonest that not even he could believe it.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Not even Corporate Counsel magazine can stomach David Donovan's whoppers? David Donovan and Dan Snyder, adrenaline rush buddies? How does a Redskins win compare to a class action lawsuit? Skins are only the third-worst team in the NFL? Bono had a hand in Cooley's wounding? D.C. United coach bails?)

Though you'd think a trade publication would be a kind audience, the tone of the Corporate Counsel piece clearly shows the writer had little trust in what Donovan was spewing about the rules changes,  as the story contains clauses like "Donovan can't account for the discrepancy," and "Donovan remains vague."

"Donovan remains full of crap" is the gist of the piece, basically.

Bottom line: When Corporate Counsel magazine lowers the boom on you, something's gotta give.

***

The Web site of DC law firm Wilmer Hale has a big write up of David Donovan's path to the Redskins.

The highlight for me was an anecdote about Donovan's first game as Redskins general counsel. That came in the comeback game in Dallas in 2005 that featured two Mark Brunell/Santana Moss bombs,  and gave the team easily its biggest win in the Dan Snyder era.

Donovan was in the visiting owners box with Dan Snyder. When the Skins came back, the story goes, "the two men enjoyed the rush of adrenaline," and Snyder "grabbed Donovan by his jacket" and yelled “This beats asbestos lawsuits, doesn’t it?”

***

Everybody agrees this year's Redskins are bottom feeders. The Sagarin poll now puts the Skins as the 30th best team in the NFL. The only squads ranked lower are Tampa Bay and St. Louis, the only teams Washington has beaten this season. The two teams just above the Skins in the poll are Detroit (29) and Kansas City (28), each of whom beat Washington for their only victories.

The Redskins schedule thus far, says Sagarin, ranks as the easiest in the league.

***

Redskins fans have thrown out an interesting theory about the injury: Bono broke Chris Cooley's leg! Had Dan Snyder not thrown a midseason concert at FedExField, the theory goes, the field would have been in finer shape and Cooley's foot wouldn't have hit whatever caused it to roll over.

The turf at FedEx during the Eagles game sure did look faded and sandy, nearly a month after the U2 concert there drew 80,000 or so. (Watch the sand fly off everybody's feet here during DeShawn Jackson's long run for a TD.)

As for motive: I was at a U2 show in 1987 at the Redskins former home, RFK Stadium, where Bono separated his shoulder during a fall. Hmmm.

***

DC United Coach Tom Soehn won't be coming back. United just put out a press release saying it was all Soehn's decision to leave the team when his contract runs out after this season.

The release:

Tom Soehn removes name from consideration for Head Coach of D.C. United

Process for finding United’s next head coach will begin immediately

Washington, D.C. (November 3, 2009) – D.C. United announced today Head Coach Tom Soehn has removed his name from consideration for United’s head coaching position ahead of his contract expiring at the end of the calendar year.  Soehn served the Black-and-Red as an assistant from 2004-2006, before leading the club to two major trophies, a Supporters’ Shield in 2007 and a U.S. Open Cup in 2008, in three seasons as head coach.   The process for finding United’s next head coach will begin immediately.

“Tommy has done an outstanding job at D.C. United, first as an assistant and then as our head coach,” said United President and CEO Kevin Payne.  “Over the past three seasons, Tommy has faced greater challenges than any other Major League Soccer coach.  His record in all competitions this season was outstanding and he should not be judged on the basis of missing the MLS Cup Playoffs.  Tommy is a fine young coach and I know we will face him in the future in MLS play.  I wish him all of the luck in the world.”

Soehn was named Head Coach of D.C. United on December 21, 2006.  The Black-and-Red won the 2007 Supporters’ Shield and the 2008 U.S. Open Cup under his guidance.  In all competitions, Soehn posted a career mark of 55-48-31.  United was 36-30-24 in League play in his three seasons at the helm.

“My family and I have spent a lot of time in reaching this very difficult decision,” said Soehn.  “I've been fortunate to spend the last six seasons with this organization.  I'd like to thank the staff and fans for their support throughout my tenure.  In particular, I'd like to thank Kevin Payne, Dave Kasper, Chad Ashton, Mark Simpson, Francisco Tobar, Brian Goodstein, David Brauzer and the entire technical staff.  When you're in this business, the experiences you face together forge special bonds and friendships that will always remain.  My appreciation also extends to the players.  We accomplished a lot together since I arrived in 2004 and I thank them for their dedication and wish them the best in the seasons ahead.”

Soehn joined Peter Nowak’s coaching staff prior to the 2004 campaign.  In three seasons as an assistant coach, United won two major titles, the 2004 MLS Cup and the 2006 Supporters’ Shield.

“I want to thank Tommy for his six years of great service at D.C. United,” said United General Manager Dave Kasper.  “He is a terrific friend and colleague, and he played a major role in the club winning four trophies during his time here.  He is a bright young coach who has a big career ahead of him.  I wish him continued success with his next coaching position and his family the best of luck always.”

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Monday night, he tried on his provocateur hat, telling his Monday Night Football audience that the Dallas Cowboys had surpassed the New York Yankees in world domination/sports tradition.

Absurd.

One great thing about sports is that there are such things as records. Numbers. Stats. And they all point to the Yanks on this one, Tony. Good thing I never bothered to buy cable.