Today we introduce Hannah Neprash of districtlimerick.com, who will write regularly on D.C. news and politics—in limerick form.

Election week left some aghast
From last year, the difference was vast
A bell-weather? nope
Creigh Deeds had no hope
Before the first ballot was cast

The hearing for marriage rights raged
The witnesses—they got engaged
To make Council swoon
Could be a real boon
Who cares if it felt a bit staged

One couple created; one mourned
When death came to two who were horned
She overexerted
And life, it deserted
If you are an oryx, be warned

Cate took a brief break from Desire
To shop at the Target empire
Lord knows after shows
Her feet need repose
An ottoman, she did admire

This story still has me distracted
Because of how Allen reacted
The guy's old as dirt
But still brings the hurt
Click here for the fight reenacted

We all think commuting's a bitch
Made nothing but worse by the glitch
From phones and PAs
To online displays
The Metro has hit quite a hitch

This lim'rick has come to a close
And now you are doomed to read prose
But have no concern
The rhymes will return
To dole out more witty low-blows

The Washington Mystics have been rotten throughout Johnson's run as team president, having finished in the bottom half of the WNBA's Eastern Conference all five seasons under her, and not winning even a single playoff game.

But Johnson has gotten a pretty free ride through all the on-court suckitude. She's hailed by the gay community for not pretending the grandstands ain't laden with lesbians, and, not coincidentally, she brought the Mystics back to the top of the league in attendance.

Perhaps the lack of criticism in the face of such lousiness let Johnson feel empowered to mock Creigh Deeds, the Democratic Party gubernatorial candidate in Virginia, as a stutterer during a fundraising appearance for Republican opponent Bob McDonnell. But she's finding out she's not bulletproof after all.

The incident was weeks ago, but she's still being compared all over to George Allen when he called that kid "Macaca" during a Senatorial campaign a few years ago, even though stutterers don't have enough advocates to make the noise that followed the Allen slur. The Washington Post wrote about it today.

Surely the legs of the story have something to do with the novelty of Johnson, a black Democrat, supporting a white Republican, McDonnell, in one of only two gubernatorial races in the country this year.

But there's also the youtube clip of Johnson's fake stutter, and that shows her to be every bit the naive, heartless jerk that Allen looked like. It's the kind of moment that ain't really worth apologizing for, unless you can come up with a way to apologize for being a naive, heartless jerk.

But Johnson, who hangs out with the Virginia horsey set, has now given one of those non-apology apologies, issuing a statement that she's sorry only "for any offense he, or others, may have taken.” That's a tack Allen, and countless naive, heartless jerks before him, already tried. It never works. So now the Mystics management, like the management of a lot of local teams in recent years, is gonna be hard to root for.

If you pick up a paper copy of Washington City Paper this morning, you may experience a sensory flashback to 2006, when our issues averaged 160 pages and always weighed this much. However, it's just that our fall arts guide is stuck inside! Don't panic! The newspaper business still sucks! This year's guide has listings and content up the wazoo, including critics' picks and a feature that purports to tell local bloggers such as Morgan Hungerford and Matthew Yglesias just what they should do with their entertainment dollars this autumn. Also in this piece: bear joke. It looks great in print. Pick one up!

As Mike Watt would say, I feel like spielin' this morning. If you don't have the time, DO NOT CLICK MORE.

Rain! That stuff is wet! If you haven't left the house yet, pack a hat, or better yet: an umbrella!

Tonight, Virginia gubernatorial candidates square off in a debate that will focus on business. Washington Post helpfully points out that unions are shoveling money toward Creigh Deeds, which in Virginia should go over as well as another Ben "Cooter" Jones campaign. For sure, the race has tightened since Thesiscaca™, but it's hard to see Deeds pulling this one out. My buddy Norm points out this is a poll of registered voters and probably an "outlier," but then again he thinks the tea-party protests were a wake-up call to fancy-pants Republicans such as himself. I don't buy that—who is going to herd the nutballs into a majority? Mitt?

Also can I get a what-what for Anita Kumar, who is covering the bejesus out of this race?

• Has anyone else noticed that Giant is a lot cheaper lately? This major newspaper has. Can I get a what-what for lower prices?

• BIKE COMMUTING CORNER: After my helmet, your second-most important accessory is gloves. Buy yourself a quality pair! Sure, they're great for protecting your hands should you fall, but they also dampen the vibrations that lead to hand numbness. Velo Orange is contemplating a fussy pair for fancy-pants people such as Norm, but I have had tremendous luck with these gloves, which I got on sale for $4.95 and which have come through two summers beautifully. Look for extra material around the thumb.

• ITEM! Christmas will soon rock for the color-blind. Demby, I got you on this one, man!

It's 10 a.m.! I'm out of time! E-mail me for more riffs or follow me on Twitter!

• Yesterday's storms put a damper on voter turnout for the Virginia gubernatorial primary.  After clogging every channel with strange campaign ads like this one for the past several weeks, the Post reports that only about 6% of the state's registered voters cast ballots.  Polls closed at 7 p.m. and by 7:45, the pollsters at fivethirtyeight.com called the Democratic primary for state senator R. Creigh Deeds.  

• Deeds captured 50% of the total votes, with former DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe earning 26% and delegate Brian Moran earning 24%.  The results are shocking considering that the other two candidates had much more name recognition and money but Deeds got the Post endorsement.  He's now up against state Attorney General Bob McDonnell in November's general election.  McAuliffe will hopefully get back to running other people's campaigns, since he seems to have slightly more success in that arena.  Actually, with the exception of the Clinton/Gore reelection, none of the presidential campaigns listed on his Post profile won, but hey, at least he tries.

• Celebrity Sightings: While everybody else is busy complaining about The Real World and the lack of parking spaces around their new abode on S Street NW, other celebrities are flocking to DC discreetly.  NBC4 spotted Owen Wilson snacking on Georgetown Cupcakes alone at a table in the bakery.  He's in town for the next couple months filming James L. Brooks' new comedy with Paul Rudd and Reese Witherspoon. And now the line of sweating people in need of baked goods will extend even further down Potomac Street.

He will face Republican Bob O'Donnell McDonnell in November.

Deeds won, notably, without the vote of Washington City Paper editor and Alexandria resident Andrew Beaujon. Says Beaujon, "I forgot."

Beaujon explains that, due to this morning's thunderstorms, he took the bus to work rather than his customary bicycle: "Threw off my whole rhythm."