Wednesday morning’s roundup is brought to you by the young and restless intern, who is refusing  to write about any Social-Security-sucking, ozone-depleting, spotlight-hogging baby boomers today.

While walking past a convenience store last  week, I noticed a sign that borderline panicked: “Get your vanilla cigarettes before they are banned!” The sign nearly inspired my non-smoking self into stockpiling like it was 1999, but it appears I am too late. The FDA has banned the sale of flavored tobacco, three months after President Barack Obama agreed to let the FDA regulate tobacco products. What’s so wrong with having a little “Warm Winter Toffee” with your lung cancer? According to the New York Times, 17-year-olds are three times more likely than those over 25 to smoke the flavored cigarettes.

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Good morning, City Desk readers, and welcome to another Freedom Friday! How about this "heat wave," enh? ENH?

Michael Phelps, Olympiad and hero to long-necked people everywhere, crashed his Escalade in Baltimore last night. To give you an impression of how bad the accident was, here's WaPo's headline: "Phelps Uninjured in Two-Vehicle Crash." There wasn't enough room in the headline to mention that the person in the other car was left uninjured as well--only "shaken up."

It's an important story because Michael Phelps is A FAMOUS SWIMMER AND IMPORTANT YOUNG MAN, and when he was fresh out of high school, he was arrested for driving under the influence. Five years is nothing in journalism years--so maybe the the solid graf that addresses Phelp's sobriety was worth including. Then again, there's this [emphasis mine]:

Police found no reason to perform any tests on him, [Officer] Guglielmi said. Officers also examined both vehicles and found no evidence of drugs or alcohol, he said.

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