Stephen Strasburg and the Nationals played chicken, like those hot rodders in "Rebel Without a Cause."

That made for an amazing night to not watch sports, and just refresh this and that web page every few minutes hoping for some Breaking News. Would Strasburg be without a contract? Would the Lerners be without another top draft pick AND a fan base?

My mom's favorite writer, Chico Harlan, was like a political speechwriter on a close election night who has to write both a victory and concession speech, knowing that half his work will be wasted.

In a post made less than an hour before zero hour, Harlan admitted on his Nationals Journal blog that because his own deadlines were approaching he'd had to write two stories, one for the Lerners caving, one for the pitcher caving, before knowing what happened. (Everybody was filing news-free reports 'round midnite. The Associated Press write-up was headlined "Strasburg, other 1st-round picks go to deadline.")

At 12:18 a.m., Chico filed the bulletin report that Strasburg was signed, and attributed the news to Baseball America. Two minutes later, Chico filed one of his fab pre-fab pieces -- headlined "It's Done: Strasburg Signs" -- with the amount of the contract, $15.7 million guaranteed, filled in. The only clue that this was a dummy piece: Chico's story didn't attribute the information to anyone or anything.

Then, within minutes of the climactic posting, Chico changed the headline to "It's Done: Strasburg Agrees."

Which, you know, coulda been the headline for the unused post, too. (Not to go all CSI on Chico, but the link to the updated post, even with the new, CYA headline, still ends with "its_done_strasburg_signs.html")

(AFTER THE JUMP: The fat lady's going to sing at Nats Park? Clemens makes a comeback? Eastern High football makes a comeback? Just like Dick Cheney, Darth Vader's going to throw out a first pitch?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: It’s Not Over ’til the Fat Lady Signs! Or Agrees! Whichever Comes First!" »

Sally Jenkins rides with Lance Armstrong again this morning. Jenkins, who has written several books with Armstrong, references the druggie rumors more here than in the scads of her previous columns on the most accused drug cheat in the history of sport.

"It's what [Armstrong's] whole comeback is all about really," writes Jenkins, "coming face to face with things, especially the doubters. 'Am I doping now?' his body language seems to say."

And the world, in all sorts of languages, seems to be answering: "Hell, yes, you're doping!" That March incident, where Armstrong stalled French drug testers who'd surprised him as he trained for the Tour de France and asked for urine samples, crushed the odds that the comeback would change anybody's mind. By now Armstrong has the same chance of clearing his name as Michael Jackson.

Dirty pee or not, Armstrong's amazing, ain't he? To paraprahase the old lady in the diner in "Sleepless in Seattle" "When Harry Met Sally": I'll have what he's having.

***

Joel Hanrahan got his first win as a National yesterday, a week after he joined the Pittsburgh Pirates.

AFTER THE JUMP: Chico Harlan lights up the Nats? The Hogettes aren't dead, just broke? Do the Baysox fear the ACLU after MattWietersCollectibleFigurineNightGate™?

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Joel Hanrahan Gets Nats a ‘Victory in the Win Column!’" »

If Barry Svrlugla's reward for covering the Nats last season was to be the lead reporter on all things Michael Phelps, Chico Harlan deserves a front-row seat at the Second Coming. Since taking over from Svrluga earlier this season, Harlan has ably covered a team that is now re-threatening 121 losses.* Moreover, Harlan has reveled in the kind of gallows humor that comes only with covering a cellar-dwelling, quadruple-A-ish squad. Witness his brutal assessment of reliever Luis Ayala, back when the team's 10-game losing streak was merely a three-game skid: "A reliable setup man in Montreal's and Washington's bullpen since 2003, Ayala this year has become a 6-foot-1 white flag. He appears, the game ends." And Tampa Bay Rays reporters don't get clubhouse-interview gems like this:

Asked after his most recent start -- his fourth consecutive game with at least four earned runs -- to describe his last month, [Tim] Redding settled on a precise assessment:

"Horse[expletive]," he said.

Redding might want to take some interview tips from Teddy, a member of the Nats organization who also loses a lot. In an interview with KidsPost today, he found a way to be more positive than Manny Acta:

Are you ever going to win a race?

[Gives a thumbs up.]

* Update 5:03 p.m.: Using a little something called "basic arithmetic," I realized that the Nats are mathematically eliminated from losing 121 games this season. It's totally on the table for '09, though.

Photo by Flickr user Scott Ableman