Posts Tagged ‘cheap seats daily’
Cheap Seats Daily: Jim Zorn Will Definitely Be the Head Coach, Hopefully?
Another Redskins game that ain't a sellout. Another Redskins game that won't be blacked out.
The graphic above is from the latest installment of the now regular email blasts that precede every home game.
But no matter what your head tells you, remember: Dan Snyder says the Redskins have a waiting list of "over 200,000" names of folks who want tickets but can't get them.
And remember this, as your watching the Skins/Eagles game on local TV and see a sea of empty seats: The NFL has a blackout policy!
What's going on around here is sorta amazing, ain't it? A "Monday Night Football" game against the hated Eagles -- a rematch of the Body Bag Game opponents! -- and Skins management feels it has to lie ("visiting team returns," "limited number," etc.) to try to get folks to take tickets?
How low has Snyder taken the operation? Well, if the Redskins were a dance, you could lay the limbo pole on the floor and Snyder could still sneak his franchise under it.
***
Vinny Cerrato opened his radio station on Dan Snyder's sportstalker, WTEM, declaring he wanted to be "perfectly clear" about some things: Jim Zorn is the Skins head coach for the rest of the season "and hopefully into the future." Sure, "perfectly clear" is a Nixon tag line. And Cerrato sounded crazy while he delivered it.
(AFTER THE JUMP: Snyder doesn't talk to the media? Did anybody tell the New York Times? Snyder tells Brian Mitchell he's sorry? Brian Mitchell believes it? Debbie Yow wants you to call her Dr. Yow? She's a doctor? Really? Charlie Brotman can tell stories? Ron Jaworski doesn't blame Jim Zorn, either? Why do races get such scary names?)
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Cheap Seats Daily: Even Bobby Beathard Goes After Dan Snyder?
I'm hearing that yesterday ESPN jumped on the BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ bandwagon with a story of its own. I knew this was viral...
***
You don't need to read the Washington Post;s redesigned weather page to forecast the perfect shitstorm that is heading for Raljon on Monday evening.
The rest of the paper has all the evidence. There's no section of the Post that doesn't hold horrible news for Dan Snyder.
Mike Wise fills up the front page of Style with a profile of The Man Who Would Be Snyder, John Kent Cooke.
Some of the bitterness from Cooke, whose birthright to become owner of the Redskins was never exercised:
"Dan Snyder destroyed the reputation of this franchise," Cooke said. "I sure as hell don't like the way he gutted the organization after we left. And he commercialized the Redskins like my father would have never commercialized the Redskins. People brought cushions and pennants to the games. You know how they got those? My father gave them out at fan appreciation days."
Cooke also took issue with recent controversy over tickets. "Suing season ticket holders?" he said, incredulously. "My God, it's embarrassing. We would have never done such a thing."
(AFTER THE JUMP: Mike Wise dusts off Bobby Beathard to throw some jabs at Snyder? The Post's Business section tells readers that Snyder's a lousy businessman, just for the hell of it? The bingo caller line, again? The bingo caller last called plays for the Detroit Lions? How much would you have to get paid to go to a Redskins game? Eastern gets its first and last win? )
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Cheap Seats Daily: WJLA Makes BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ Even More Viral?
As if vending beside urinals at Redskins games wasn't viral enough: Jennifer Donelan of WJLA put BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ on her station's evening news, and even took a few seconds to give Washington City Paper kudos for blowing the lid off Snyder's newest revenue stream.
Here's Donelan's WJLA piece. Wait til the 50-second mark. Don't take a pee break or beer break or both, or you'll miss my work. And remember: TV puts on 10 pounds, and I've been watching a lot of TV lately.
Otherwise, I think I nailed my line. Thinking ahead: "I'd like to thank-thank...both my readers-readers...and the Academy-Academy..."
Reading between the lines of Donelan's copy, it looks like the Redskins fired the beer man caught on tape dispensing beer in an environment teeming with second-hand poop. A commenter on City Desk yesterday wrote that he was a vendor at FedExField, and he found the bathroom vending "disgusting." But he warned Redskins patrons who are "worried about sanitation" that they should really "stay far away from the lemonade."
Yucky!
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Sticking with local media, via DCRTV: Two more guys fired by Dan Snyder will have a radio show to bash their former boss. WTOP will give John Riggins and Frank Herzog at least a tryout for a weekly show called "Ask Riggo." (The first installment of Riggins/Herzog is going off the air as we type. "We should do this again," Riggins said to Herzog at sign-off.)
(AFTER THE JUMP: Does everybody who despises Dan Snyder get a radio show? Will Laveranues Coles get a program? Timmy Smith's out of jail? Dan Snyder benched Jason Campbell? Jeff George who? Dan Snyder will put Jason Campbell back on the field Monday night? Night of Quarterbacks what?)
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Cheap Seats Daily: Breaking News: Fans Say Redskins Selling Beer in FedExField Bathrooms!
Great Moments In Capitalism (Cont.)
I thought Dan Snyder couldn't top himself after selling Sept. 11 Commemorative Hats for profit.
Note to self: Never overestimate Dan Snyder. Never. Ever ever. Never never.
Folks at FedExField for yesterday's game reported that Snyder's vendors were selling beer to fans IN THE RESTROOMS!
And this isn't the first time.
(After the jump: New evidence of Snyder's "revenue stream"?)
Cheap Seats Daily: Remember When This Was Called ‘Redskins Weather’?
Hate to stomp on the weather beat that others at City Desk are already covering with gusto. But I'll stick to forecasts, and stay away from the retrocasting favored by the boss.
So, Sunday in Landover at kickoff: 47 degrees, rainy, winds 13 miles an hour from the north and 100 percent cloud cover. That used to be called "Redskins Weather!" around here. Now, it's called "You Can Get a Redskins Ticket for 17 Cents Weather!"
On a related note...
Redskins Ticket Watch: More than a thousand ads for Skins/Chiefs tickets on Craigslist this morning. Asking prices in just the first few listings I found went from "Way below face value!" to "Half Price!" to "75 percent off!" to "Make an offer!"
Face value's a pipe dream. Come to think of it, with 47 degrees and wet on the horizon, 17 cents might look like a windfall by kickoff. In any case, folks who intend to show up at FedExField might need to bring something to cover their heads from all the precipitation.
Like, bags or plates, maybe?
(AFTER THE JUMP: Vinny Cerrato is told it's the talent, stupid? Snyderatto = Rosie Ruiz? Snyder changed the copy in the cheerleader car wash contest AGAIN? Will the Great Dan Steinberg fall for the not-actual-cheerleaders picture bait AGAIN? Ronnie Mervis and Dan Snyder use the same advertising firm?)
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Cheap Seats Daily: Will Prague Spring for Redskins Fans Survive Snyder’s Jack-Booted Thugs?
David Alprin had his anti-Dan Snyder artwork, or whatever you want to call the above paper plate thingee, confiscated at the gates of FedExField two weeks ago.
Alprin's a longtime Skins season ticketholder and was one of many fans who wanted to make a statement about the state of the franchise.
He'd stayed up late the night before the Tampa Bay game crafting dozens and dozens of his statement-makers. But then Snyder's jack-booted thugs, in the form of the yellow-jacketed FedExField security staff, threw Alprin's civil-disobedient plates in the garbage before letting him in the stadium.
But while Snyder killed the message, he didn't kill the messenger. And Alprin's going back for more of the same this weekend.
"I'm thinking about going stealth and bringing in pens, markers, etc., and making signs in the stadium either on paper we bring or the back of the drink caddies," he says.
He won't be alone.
More on the Prague Spring of Redskins fans to come.
***
(AFTER THE JUMP: Another installment of BogusHogetteGate? Really? Michelle Rhee thinks she's god? Really? Coat-tailing on Mike DeBonis' genius? Really? Melanie Oudin's coming to town with her mom, dad AND coach? Really? Snyder comes out on top in something? No way! Way?)
BogusHogetteGate® Update: Real Hogettes® Blast Stephette Hogette’s Photo Evidence!
I'm now hearing from more old Hogettes about Stephette Hogette, a fellow cross-dressing Skins fanatic who has been accused of being -- big gulp! -- a bogus Hogette.
These Hogettes aren't happy about the photo that Cheap Seats Daily ran earlier this week, which was supplied by Stephette, real name Steve Rasnikov (though he also goes by a rap name, Snow Rap G, as well as a witness-protection name, Carmine Fischetti, which Stephette came up with to ward off vigilantes and the Hogette Police).
The shot above shows Stephette with other Hogettes (he's in the middle). Stephette says the photo was taken years ago at a Redskins game, and claims that it proves that the other Hogettes accepted him before they went "so corporate" and started hanging out with other sponsored mascot types, including Bird Man of the rival Philadelphia Eagles.
But other Hogettes say the photo means nothing, and that Stephette, who has been wearing his pig snout since at least 1992, when the NY Times wrote about his Skins fanaticism, has acted disgracefully with the ladies during Redskins tailgate parties, and that he has no real affiliation with their gang.
After seeing the shot, Joevette Hogette, behind the snout to the left in the above photo, emailed Cheap Seats Daily to downplay its significance:
"THAT PIX WAS TAKEN ON THE FLY," wrote Joevette Hogette, described as the oldest of the Original Hogettes. "[Stephette] CAME UP BEHIND PORKCHOP AND ME AND HIS BUDDY SNAPPED THE PIC......NOTICE HOW BLURRED AND OUT OF FOCUS IT IS.....DEFINITELY NOT A POSED SHOT."
And Howard Churchill, another longtimer who goes by Howiette Hogette (or, rather, Howiette Hogette®, as he apparently prefers), also threw his pooh-pooh at the photo:
Read More "BogusHogetteGate® Update: Real Hogettes® Blast Stephette Hogette’s Photo Evidence!" »
Cheap Seats Daily: Are Snyder’s Redskins Worth Only 17 Cents a Share Now, Too?
Above is an ad e-mailed out by the Redskins ticket office this week. As you read this, remember, for chuckles, that just a couple months ago Redskins executive Mitch Gershman was claiming in press releases that the team had a waiting list of "over 200,000."
Sure, the Skins waiting list has long been bogus. But this year it's also become apparent that the NFL's blackout rule is enforced as stringently as its steroids policy.
(AFTER THE BREAK: Where's Chris Cooley in that photo? Clinton Tortoise? Lord Farquaad? Lindsay Czarniak cheers on teams that don't pay her? Is the NY Times reporter on Dan Snyder's payroll, too? Another Have-Nots bowl this week?)
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Cheap Seats Daily: Stephette Hogette, the Bogus Hogette, Now Fears Real Hogettes!
I heard again last night from Stephette Hogette. He's the guy who stands accused of being a bogus Hogette.
He sent along a photograph, shown above, which he says was taken years ago at a Redskins game and, he says, proves that Stephette Hogette used to be accepted by the same folks who are now calling him a counterfeit.
While Stephette Hogette's disheveled drag ensemble---he's the one in the middle---does indeed blend with the garb of the folks he's with in that photo, he couldn't name the other Hogettes he's hanging with in the shot.
Perhaps they're unsanctioned Hogettes also! I don't know which Hogette to trust anymore!
(AFTER THE JUMP:Where will the real Hogettes be tailgating come Sunday? WTEM tones down its Redskins Cheerleader pride giveaway? D'Anthony Batiste ain't worth a D'amn? D'Anthony D'Ances with D'An D'Aly? Nobody told the Washington Post that "Remember the Titans" was a load of crap?)
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The Mystics President and Her Mock-aca Video
Sheila Johnson has jumped in some hot water that she can't swim out of.
The Washington Mystics have been rotten throughout Johnson's run as team president, having finished in the bottom half of the WNBA's Eastern Conference all five seasons under her, and not winning even a single playoff game.
But Johnson has gotten a pretty free ride through all the on-court suckitude. She's hailed by the gay community for not pretending the grandstands ain't laden with lesbians, and, not coincidentally, she brought the Mystics back to the top of the league in attendance.
Perhaps the lack of criticism in the face of such lousiness let Johnson feel empowered to mock Creigh Deeds, the Democratic Party gubernatorial candidate in Virginia, as a stutterer during a fundraising appearance for Republican opponent Bob McDonnell. But she's finding out she's not bulletproof after all.
Cheap Seats Daily: Will Sherm Lewis Fail? Or Will Sherman Lewis Fail?
Cheap Seats Daily and its inferiority complex ravaged sister publication remain the go-to news organs for coverage of what the Redskins have officially dubbed the Cheerleader Car Wash Sweepstakes.
Yesterday, in this very space, we blew the lid off the latest listener contest for Dan Snyder's sportstalk station, WTEM-AM, in which the Redskins owner promises to send his cheerleading squad over to winners' houses and make them wash cars.
And in this week's analog edition, we blow the lid off Dan Snyder's cheerleader past, from his 2000 rackumentary "Beauty on the Beach," all the way up to his latest scheme, which tells the cheering crew to put down their pom poms and pick up sponges and service his 25-54 male audience.
And, as promised, throughout all this lid-blowing we've run the same photograph of all those sudsy blondes, again and again and again.
That's the shot that got The Great Dan Steinberg so lathered up he rudely barged into the comments section to pooh-pooh our Snyder/T&A expose. TGDS basically accused Cheap Seats Daily of hypocrisy and of being as exploitative as Dan Snyder!
Just because we ran this photo of sudsy blondes!
That hurts.
What kind of message does that contest (and this photo) send to the Little Ladies of Football? Think of the children, Dan and Dan!
(AFTER THE JUMP: Could Snyder's layoffs at Redskins Park have helped this car wash debacle along? Is it Sherm or Sherman? Dan Steinberg reveals Lewis' bingo past? Dan Steinberg conceals reveals his own bingo past? How loaded is the Skins' 2009 schedule with Snyder humiliatees? Yankee Stadium ain't the only ballpark in use this October? Nationals Park gets loaded with readers?)
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Cheap Seats Daily: How Bad Is Dan Snyder Pimping the Redskins Cheerleaders?
"How would you like to see the Redskins take on the Cowboys? --- AND have the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders soap up and scrub down your car???"
Well? How would you like that?
Check out that ad!
It appears on the Web site for WTEM, Dan Snyder's sports talk station, to promote the latest listener contest. Top prize will bring the Redskins cheerleaders over to wash your car.
Kinda yucky?
The radio ads are just as outrageous, with panting males and all sorts of breathy talk of scrubbing and rubbing. The campaign is also just the latest evidence of Snyder's thing for cheerleaders. He took over the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders shortly after buying the team, and has increased their role in his global marketing scheme ever since.
The car wash campaign marks a new level of subservience for the Redskins Cheerleaders, and cheerleaders in general. The message is: "Put down your pom poms and grab a sponge!" That tells the world that Snyder can force his troupe to put on something skimpy and service Joe Sixpack.
Basically, Snyder's pushing a Madonna/Whore image for his cheerleaders.
Well, minus the Madonna.
(AFTER THE JUMP: More on the Redskins cheerleaders? Snyder is being called "Lord Farquaad"? PhotoGate update: Snyder really did censor Dan Steinberg? Isn't the Leonsis worship getting outta hand? Guaranteed Win Night proves AGAIN that it's a sure thing? Remember "The Sure Thing"?)
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Clarification: Traffic Situation at FedExField for U2 Was Indeed Snyder’d Up
Earlier today, Cheap Seats Daily reported that J.P Szymkowicz, an expert on Dan Snyder's parking operations, had no problems getting to and from FedExField for the U2 show.
By reporting Szymkowicz's anecdotes, Cheap Seats Daily could have left the impression with readers that Snyder had, after 10 years of owning the stadium, come up with a way to get people to their seats on time.
But, upon further review, it seems traffic at FedExField was as Snyder'd up as ever. A quick reading of the comments section of Washington Post rock critic Chris Richards'* review of the show reveals that about as many concert goers are venting about their commute as are praising the band's performance.
After the jump, some of the early returns.
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Cheap Seats Daily: If You’ve Got U2 Tickets, Don’t Read This! Just Leave Now!
J.P. Szymkowicz has a prediction for tonight's U2 concert at FedExField:
"It's going to be a mess," he says. "By 6 p.m. they'll start turning people away from the parking lots. It's going to be another Radiohead."
In concert go-er parlance, "another Radiohead" means "way @#$%^&*'d up!" A lack of usable parking spaces for the precious British band's performance at the Bristow, Va., hellhole caused thousands of ticketholders to miss the entire show.
Szymkowicz personally witnessed that Nissan Pavilion debacle. But that's not the only reason to have faith in his prediction of another Radiohead tonight. Nobody outside Redskins Park knows more about Dan Snyder's parking set up than Szymkowicz. He's the guy who spearheaded the lawsuit against the Redskins for the game-day ban on pedestrian traffic around FedExField.
Because of his litigation, in 2004 the team had to reverse its policy and allow folks who found ways around Snyder's outrageous parking charges to walk into Skins games.
(AFTER THE JUMP: FedExField has HOW many parking spaces? Capitol Hill interns are going to be to blame for the U2 mess? Some buffoon's looking for a parking pass to tonight's show? The New York Times and Dan Snyder are in bed together? Audi is Dan Snyder's new mattress?)
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Cheap Seats Daily: Could Chief Zee Sway Supreme Court Case?
There's trouble in maroon-and-black-and-yellow land. The mood is so toxic that even a nice plea to help out Chief Zee, the headdress-wearing longtime unofficial mascot of the Redskins and among the nicest, naivest, old-school mega-racists you'd ever meet, turned real ugly real fast.
Somebody posted a notice on Dan Snyder's message board, Extremeskins, alerting fans that a fundraiser will be thrown in Arlington next week to help pay medical bills for Chief Zee (real name Zema Williams).
Time was, such a post in these friendly confines would elicit nothing more controversial than "How much does he need?" But these days, even wins are booed. So the thread immediately disintegrated into an interrogation of the original poster, with some folks wondering why Williams needs another fundraiser---"He can afford season tickets, but not medical bills?" huffed the poster brianm23---and others asking why give money to a guy Chief Zee's age, since he should have all his health care covered by those socialist programs, Medicare and Medicaid.
(AFTER THE JUMP: That blogger called Chief Zee WHAT? Would Justice Scalia cringe at Chief Zee's costume? WJFK's crushing WTEM? It's a good time to unaffiliated with Dan Snyder? The last Guaranteed Win Night of 2009?)
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