In case you missed it: For the brings-home-96-to-98-percent-of-the-bacon-but-is-nevertheless-shunned print edition this week, I wrote about Will Dunham, an Arlington resident who has been hosting “Inside the Squared Circle” (ITSC), a weekly program on pro wrestling for 20 years. Dunham has had his pro bono pro wrestling program longer than Jay Leno had “The Tonight Show” or Tim Russert had “Meet the Press.” There’s never been any money or fame in it, but Dunham keeps at it for the noblest of reasons: Because he wants to.

I’m in awe. For real.

***

Saying the Redskins PR machine is screwed up is pointless at this point. It’s operating now exactly as it has operated for 10 years. So it’s likely that machine is operating just as somebody at Redskins Park wants it to operate.

But stuff still comes out of that place that boggles the mind. Any sane man would say the Redskins response to John Riggins’ characterization of Dan Snyder as “a bad guy” who has “a dark heart” was just plain wacko. Riggins is a pundit. The more outlandish the things he says, the more he is rewarded.  A big boy or wise man would have just taken Riggins’ slings and arrows and shut the hell up. There’s no way to rebut Riggins’ charges without looking dumb or guilty.

So what does Dan Snyder’s organization do? It trots out Silent Greg Blache to rebut Riggins charges. Blache, who just a couple weeks ago said he would no longer talk to the media, talked to the media about how Snyder doesn’t have a dark heart.

And to make everybody but Riggins look stupider, the Redskins PR office then produced a press release with Blache’s silly comments transcribed. A press release! Wha?

(AFTER THE JUMP: Redskins put out how many documents saying “Dan Snyder Does Not Have a Dark Heart?” Mark Rypien comes back to DC? Can he suit up? He only got sacked how many times? DC Divas hold tryouts? The Divas GM used to be on “Inside the Squared Circle”? Is that fab or what?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Redskins PR Machine Spreads the Word: Dan Snyder Doesn’t Have a ‘Dark Heart’!” »

Joseph White of the Associated Press reports on what he calls a “rare, in-season interview” with Dan Snyder.

There’s only one quote from the media-hatin’ Redskins owner in White’s dispatch: “We’ve let everyone down, including ourselves,” Snyder said, “and we know that and we’re just apologetic.”

More to come?

More proof that everybody but Highlights Magazine is writing about the Redskins: Now, even the military/industrial complex is going after Dan Snyder. Military.com, a website for the forces, ran a story “Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Doesn’t Want You to Support the Troops in His Stadium.”

The piece takes a photo of a poster taken by FedExField security guards before the Eagles/Skins game that says “Hi to my huband in Afghanistan,” and runs with it. The Great Dan Steinberg made that poster famous after fishing it out of the trash near the stadium entrance.

To be fair, Snyder has shown support for our National Defense. Well, he put out a Commemorative Sept. 11 Redskins hat that had a red-white-and-blue Pentagon stitched on to the side in 2005.

And he sold that hat for only $23.99. Plus shipping. And he kept the money. But still. Bottom line: When Military.com lowers the boom on you, something’s gotta give.

And everybody’s favorite magazine geared toward an audience of corporate counsel people, Corporate Counsel magazine, also jumps in this week with “Not Exactly a Banner Season for the Washington Redskins.”

The publication interviews new Redskins COO and total BS’er David Donovan about the new policies at FedExField prohibiting signs and banning interviews in the parking lot, and he was also asked about fans at the Eagles game having to remove their t-shirts if the message on the garments was anti-Snyder.

“We’re not trying to limit what anyone wants to say or chant or wear,” Donovan told Corporate Counsel.

Wow. Thus continues Donovan’s awe-inspiring streak of just saying stuff so dishonest that not even he could believe it.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Not even Corporate Counsel magazine can stomach David Donovan’s whoppers? David Donovan and Dan Snyder, adrenaline rush buddies? How does a Redskins win compare to a class action lawsuit? Skins are only the third-worst team in the NFL? Bono had a hand in Cooley’s wounding? D.C. United coach bails?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Win Over Dallas Was ‘Better Than Asbestos Litigation’?” »

The Washington Nationals took out a full-page advertisement in Sunday’s Washington Post.

Sure, the Nats season ended a while ago. But it makes sense that the Lerners would reach out while local sports fans are planning their sports ticket budgets and deleting Dan Snyder and Redskins.

But this Nationals ad is horrible.

After an all-glowing recap of the 2009 season — two of these three made the cut: Zimmerman/Dunn had big homer totals, Stephen Stasburg signed, and the Nats had THE WORST RECORD IN ALL OF BASEBALL — the ad copy climaxes with “[W]e can all see why Washington, DC is truly becoming the home of the National Pastime in the Nation’s Capital.”

Washington, DC is the home of baseball in the Nation’s Capital? Who knew?

And who wrote that?

***

WUSA is also kicking the Redskins when they’re down.  Advertisements for the local CBS affiliate that ran during the Ravens game yesterday urged Skins fans to “sound off ” about the team.

“We won’t throw away your signs!” said the voiceover.

Ouchie wouchie! Didn’t you WUSA guys used to be covert “partners” with Snyder and help him out with all his infomercials? Guess the contract’s up.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Reebok boasts of its butt-enhancement powers? Shannon Sharpe goes after the Redskins? Dan Marino goes after the Redskins? 66 percent of CBS viewers go after the Redskins? Dan Marino says Bill Cowher ain’t gonna go for the Redskins? Heath Shuler has MVP award taken away from him by Politico? Ethics panel still gunning for Shuler? Chest bumping on the sidelines can get you suspended?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Dan Marino Says the Redskins Won’t Land Anybody Like Bill Cowher?” »

Today’s the last day to enter Dan Snyder’s Cheerleader Pride Giveaway Contest! Tomorrow, folks at Snyder’s sportstalker, WTEM, will hold the drawing to find out the five 25-to-54-year-old males who’ve won the right to have Redskins cheerleaders — armed with sponges and buckets and zero self-esteem — come over and scrub down their cars.

Come on, pervs: Get your name in before it’s too late!

(’Course, this also means time is running out on Cheap Seats Daily’s ability to run everybody’s fave photo.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Does Dan Snyder’s vacation choice mean he’s met his Waterloo? Elba is nice this time of year? Somebody wrote something nice about Dan Snyder? Really? Was it accurate? Not really? Where’d David Donovan learn to fib? Dan Snyder’s poster confiscating binge was all a prank? Will anybody get a “Goofus and Gallant” reference?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Somebody Once Wrote a Nice Dan Snyder Story? Does It Hold Up? No?” »

In case you missed it: Rocken Rollen Stewart, who showed up at televised sporting events carrying a “John 3:16″ sign throughout the 1980s, had his sign removed from a Redskins game at RFK in 1984. So he sued.

And he won. But it took eight years before Stewart was told by the courts he could carry his sign into the stadium here.

Times and venues have changed. It’s unclear if Rockin’ Rollen’s case will help victims of the Redskins latest purge. Will somebody who had their poster taken please sue Dan Snyder so we can find out?

***

Also, for the eating-disorder-looking print edition, I squeezed BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ for a few more drops. Completists will want this umpteenth revisitation upon the same story so they can see the only appearance of “oral-fecal” in a sentence. Kind of like getting the repackaged Elvis Costello’s Greatest Hits every three years, just for the remixed-again version of “Mystery Dance.”

***

David Alperin checks in with some more Dan Snyder weirdness.

Alperin was the first guy to tell me that Snyder changed the sign policy at FedExField. Before the Tampa Bay game, stadium guards confiscated a sign he made saying “Love the Redskins, Hate the Owner.”

(AFTER THE JUMP: Fake cheering at FedEx? You’re going to use “Douchewellian” again? AND the trademark sign? El Al disputes charges that its security is as Douchewellian as Dan Snyder’s? You’re going to promote the Great Dan Steinberg again? GEICO signs good, Snyder Sucks signs bad? Why would anybody go to Snyder’s “Night of the Quarterbacks”? Brett Haber plays the feud with his former boss?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Will ‘Dumb’ and ‘Dumber’ Shirts Be Allowed at Snyder’s ‘Night of Quarterbacks’?” »

When the Great Dan Steinberg ran photos of the fanimosity at FedExField during the Tampa Bay game on his blog a few weeks ago, Dan Snyder told the paper to take the shots down. And the Washington Post complied quietly, removing the photos without any explanation to readers for the disappearance.

Snyder’s heavyhanded attempt at message killing, Douchewellian as it was, worked in the short term: The censorship of fans was treated as a non-story. (Well, OK: Almost a non-story.) And, as we’ve learned over time — Jeff George, Deion Sanders, Bruce Smith, etc… — Snyder only cares about the short term.

No doubt feeling empowered after the Post’s appeasement, Snyder’s behavior had grown insane by Monday’s game with the Eagles. And the once-burned Steinberg, who now buys tickets to the Redskins games to avoid the team’s new restrictions on his reporting, became a war reporter. He embedded himself with the insurgents that night, and has continued telling their tales.

The results have been gripping.

(AFTER THE JUMP: The lawyer who whupped the Redskins on the pedestrian ban thinks fans might have some more cases against Snyder? The Redskins have lost federal freedom of speech cases in the past? One small typo for a columnist, one giant slur of Dan Snyder’s legacy? Agent Zero is No. 1? The Wizards peak?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Snyder Overstepped Legal Authority While Suppressing Fanimosity?” »

Last night’s Redskins suckage was more of the whimpering than the banging variety. I’m burned out by the dramatic badness. It’s all been said. But I’ll say it all again, once more before apathy really sets in.

The Redskins stink. Like, really stink. Jason Campbell  stinks. Dan Snyder stinks. Oh my, does Dan Snyder stink.

Chris Cooley doesn’t stink. But his different sort of attention-deficit disorder, which has in the past led him to show the world his naughty bits and film himself burning cows, is maddening.

Last night his look-at-me!-look-at-me!-ADD caused Cooley to blonde his hair and leave his helmet off while the TV cameras rolled.

Then Cooley’s ankle rolled and he’s likely gone for 2009. Cooley had been quieter for a couple weeks, seemingly aware that it ain’t cool to be cute when his team was a national punchline. But then this. So the last image of Cooley this season will be him being carted off the field with his head glowing from all that bleach, looking sad and ridiculous all at once.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Dan Snyder’s jack-booted thugs were out AGAIN? It’s harder to get into a Skins game than an El Al jet? ESPN protects Dan Snyder? Snyder’s lonely? ESPN rejects Campbell? PG County lets the Redskins walk for BeerInTheBathroomsGate™? Two free toppings? Have I died and gone to PapaJohn’s?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Two Free Toppings From PapaJohn’s Ain’t Fulfilling?” »

Another Redskins game that ain’t a sellout. Another Redskins game that won’t be blacked out.

The graphic above is from the latest installment of the now regular email blasts that precede every home game.

But no matter what your head tells you, remember: Dan Snyder says the Redskins have a waiting list of “over 200,000″ names of folks who want tickets but can’t get them.

And remember this, as your watching the Skins/Eagles game on local TV and see a sea of empty seats: The NFL has a blackout policy!

What’s going on around here is sorta amazing, ain’t it? A “Monday Night Football” game against the hated Eagles — a rematch of the Body Bag Game opponents! — and Skins management feels it has to lie (”visiting team returns,” “limited number,” etc.) to try to get folks to take tickets?

How low has Snyder taken the operation? Well, if the Redskins were a dance, you could lay the limbo pole on the floor and Snyder could still sneak his franchise under it.

***

Vinny Cerrato opened his radio station on Dan Snyder’s sportstalker, WTEM, declaring he wanted to be “perfectly clear” about some things: Jim Zorn is the Skins head coach for the rest of the season “and hopefully into the future.” Sure, “perfectly clear” is a Nixon tag line. And Cerrato sounded crazy while he delivered it.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Snyder doesn’t talk to the media? Did anybody tell the New York Times? Snyder tells Brian Mitchell he’s sorry? Brian Mitchell believes it? Debbie Yow wants you to call her Dr. Yow? She’s a doctor? Really? Charlie Brotman can tell stories? Ron Jaworski doesn’t blame Jim Zorn, either? Why do races get such scary names?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Jim Zorn Will Definitely Be the Head Coach, Hopefully?” »

I’m hearing that yesterday ESPN jumped on the BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ bandwagon with a story of its own. I knew this was viral…

***

You don’t need to read the Washington Post;s redesigned weather page to forecast the perfect shitstorm that is heading for Raljon on Monday evening.

The rest of the paper has all the evidence. There’s no section of the Post that doesn’t hold horrible news for Dan Snyder.

Mike Wise fills up the front page of Style with a profile of The Man Who Would Be Snyder, John Kent Cooke.

Some of the bitterness from Cooke, whose birthright to become owner of the Redskins was never exercised:

“Dan Snyder destroyed the reputation of this franchise,” Cooke said. “I sure as hell don’t like the way he gutted the organization after we left. And he commercialized the Redskins like my father would have never commercialized the Redskins. People brought cushions and pennants to the games. You know how they got those? My father gave them out at fan appreciation days.”

Cooke also took issue with recent controversy over tickets. “Suing season ticket holders?” he said, incredulously. “My God, it’s embarrassing. We would have never done such a thing.”

(AFTER THE JUMP: Mike Wise dusts off Bobby Beathard to throw some jabs at Snyder? The Post’s Business section tells readers that Snyder’s a lousy businessman, just for the hell of it? The bingo caller line, again? The bingo caller last called plays for the Detroit Lions? How much would you have to get paid to go to a Redskins game? Eastern gets its first and last win? )

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Even Bobby Beathard Goes After Dan Snyder?” »

As if vending beside urinals at Redskins games wasn’t viral enough: Jennifer Donelan of WJLA put BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ on her station’s evening news, and even took a few seconds to give Washington City Paper kudos for blowing the lid off Snyder’s newest revenue stream.

Here’s Donelan’s WJLA piece. Wait til the 50-second mark. Don’t take a pee break or beer break or both, or you’ll miss my work. And remember: TV puts on 10 pounds, and I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately.

Otherwise, I think I nailed my line. Thinking ahead: “I’d like to thank-thank…both my readers-readers…and the Academy-Academy…”

Reading between the lines of Donelan’s copy, it looks like the Redskins fired the beer man caught on tape dispensing beer in an environment teeming with second-hand poop. A commenter on City Desk yesterday wrote that he was a vendor at FedExField, and he found the bathroom vending “disgusting.” But he warned Redskins patrons who are “worried about sanitation” that they should really “stay far away from the lemonade.”

Yucky!

***

Sticking with local media, via DCRTV: Two more guys fired by Dan Snyder will have a radio show to bash their former boss. WTOP will give John Riggins and Frank Herzog at least a tryout for a weekly show called “Ask Riggo.” (The first installment of Riggins/Herzog is going off the air as we type. “We should do this again,” Riggins said to Herzog at sign-off.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Does everybody who despises Dan Snyder get a radio show? Will Laveranues Coles get a program? Timmy Smith’s out of jail? Dan Snyder benched Jason Campbell? Jeff George who? Dan Snyder will put Jason Campbell back on the field Monday night?  Night of Quarterbacks what?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: WJLA Makes BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ Even More Viral?” »

Great Moments In Capitalism (Cont.)

I thought Dan Snyder couldn’t top himself after selling Sept. 11 Commemorative Hats for profit.

Note to self: Never overestimate Dan Snyder. Never. Ever ever. Never never.

Folks at FedExField for yesterday’s game reported that Snyder’s vendors were selling beer to fans IN THE RESTROOMS!

And this isn’t the first time.

(After the jump: New evidence of Snyder’s “revenue stream”?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Breaking News: Fans Say Redskins Selling Beer in FedExField Bathrooms!” »

Hate to stomp on the weather beat that others at City Desk are already covering with gusto. But I’ll stick to forecasts, and stay away from the retrocasting favored by the boss.

So, Sunday in Landover at kickoff: 47 degrees, rainy, winds 13 miles an hour from the north and 100 percent cloud cover. That used to be called “Redskins Weather!” around here. Now, it’s called “You Can Get a Redskins Ticket for 17 Cents Weather!”

On a related note…

Redskins Ticket Watch: More than a thousand ads for Skins/Chiefs tickets on Craigslist this morning. Asking prices in just the first few listings I found went from “Way below face value!” to “Half Price!” to “75 percent off!” to “Make an offer!”

Face value’s a pipe dream. Come to think of it, with 47 degrees and wet on the horizon, 17 cents might look like a windfall by kickoff. In any case, folks who intend to show up at FedExField might need to bring something to cover their heads from all the precipitation.

Like, bags or plates, maybe?

(AFTER THE JUMP: Vinny Cerrato is told it’s the talent, stupid? Snyderatto = Rosie Ruiz? Snyder changed the copy in the cheerleader car wash contest AGAIN? Will the Great Dan Steinberg fall for the not-actual-cheerleaders picture bait AGAIN? Ronnie Mervis and Dan Snyder use the same advertising firm?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Remember When This Was Called ‘Redskins Weather’?” »

David Alprin had his anti-Dan Snyder artwork, or whatever you want to call the above paper plate thingee, confiscated at the gates of FedExField two weeks ago.

Alprin’s a longtime Skins season ticketholder and was one of many fans who wanted to make a statement about the state of the franchise.

He’d stayed up late the night before the Tampa Bay game crafting dozens and dozens of his statement-makers. But then Snyder’s jack-booted thugs, in the form of the yellow-jacketed FedExField security staff, threw Alprin’s civil-disobedient plates in the garbage before letting him in the stadium.

But while Snyder killed the message, he didn’t kill the messenger. And Alprin’s going back for more of the same this weekend.

“I’m thinking about going stealth and bringing in pens, markers, etc.,  and making signs in the stadium either on paper we bring or the back of the drink caddies,” he says.

He won’t be alone.

More on the Prague Spring of Redskins fans to come.

***

(AFTER THE JUMP: Another installment of BogusHogetteGate? Really? Michelle Rhee thinks she’s god? Really? Coat-tailing on Mike DeBonis’ genius? Really? Melanie Oudin’s coming to town with her mom, dad AND coach? Really? Snyder comes out on top in something? No way! Way?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Will Prague Spring for Redskins Fans Survive Snyder’s Jack-Booted Thugs?” »

I’m now hearing from more old Hogettes about Stephette Hogette, a fellow cross-dressing Skins fanatic who has been accused of being — big gulp! — a bogus Hogette.

These Hogettes aren’t happy about the photo that Cheap Seats Daily ran earlier this week, which was supplied by Stephette, real name Steve Rasnikov (though he also goes by a rap name, Snow Rap G, as well as a witness-protection name, Carmine Fischetti, which Stephette came up with to ward off vigilantes and the Hogette Police).

The shot above shows Stephette with other Hogettes (he’s in the middle). Stephette says the photo was taken years ago at a Redskins game, and claims that it proves that the other Hogettes accepted him before they went “so corporate” and started hanging out with other sponsored mascot types, including Bird Man of the rival Philadelphia Eagles.

But other Hogettes say the photo means nothing, and that Stephette, who has been wearing his pig snout since at least 1992, when the NY Times wrote about his Skins fanaticism, has acted disgracefully with the ladies during Redskins tailgate parties, and that he has no real affiliation with their gang.

After seeing the shot, Joevette Hogette, behind the snout to the left in the above photo, emailed Cheap Seats Daily to downplay its significance:

“THAT PIX WAS TAKEN ON THE FLY,” wrote Joevette Hogette, described as the oldest of the Original Hogettes. “[Stephette] CAME UP BEHIND PORKCHOP AND ME AND HIS BUDDY SNAPPED THE PIC……NOTICE HOW BLURRED AND OUT OF FOCUS IT IS…..DEFINITELY NOT A POSED SHOT.”

And Howard Churchill, another longtimer who goes by Howiette Hogette (or, rather, Howiette Hogette®, as he apparently prefers), also threw his pooh-pooh at the photo:

Read More “BogusHogetteGate® Update: Real Hogettes® Blast Stephette Hogette’s Photo Evidence!” »