Sure, the Nats season ended a while ago. But it makes sense that the Lerners would reach out while local sports fans are planning their sports ticket budgets and deleting Dan Snyder and Redskins.

But this Nationals ad is horrible.

After an all-glowing recap of the 2009 season -- two of these three made the cut: Zimmerman/Dunn had big homer totals, Stephen Stasburg signed, and the Nats had THE WORST RECORD IN ALL OF BASEBALL -- the ad copy climaxes with "[W]e can all see why Washington, DC is truly becoming the home of the National Pastime in the Nation's Capital."

Washington, DC is the home of baseball in the Nation's Capital? Who knew?

And who wrote that?

***

WUSA is also kicking the Redskins when they're down.  Advertisements for the local CBS affiliate that ran during the Ravens game yesterday urged Skins fans to "sound off " about the team.

"We won't throw away your signs!" said the voiceover.

Ouchie wouchie! Didn't you WUSA guys used to be covert "partners" with Snyder and help him out with all his infomercials? Guess the contract's up.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Reebok boasts of its butt-enhancement powers? Shannon Sharpe goes after the Redskins? Dan Marino goes after the Redskins? 66 percent of CBS viewers go after the Redskins? Dan Marino says Bill Cowher ain't gonna go for the Redskins? Heath Shuler has MVP award taken away from him by Politico? Ethics panel still gunning for Shuler? Chest bumping on the sidelines can get you suspended?)

***

Another commercial during the Ravens broadcast that showed the decline of Western Civilization came from Reebok, which is trying now to sell shoes using the motto: "Better legs and a better butt with every step."

***

The national folks got into the Skins-kicking swing of things, too: CBS pre-game show panelist Shannon Sharpe showed up on the set wearing a bag over his head, and carrying a sign that said "Fire Dan, In Bill We Trust" with an arrow pointing at fellow panelist and likely target of Dan Snyder affection Bill Cowher.

Sharpe's get up inspired another CBS pundit, Dan Marino, to jump in that because of the disastrous managment in Washington, the Skins won't be able to sign a "big time" coach.

Marino didn't mention Cowher by name, but the implication was clear. Given the high stakes, Marino wouldn't have said that without consulting Cowher. Cowher just smiled after Marino spoke.

Guess that means The Countdown to Cowher™ won't ever make me rich.

Also, 66 percent of the respondents to a CBS poll about what ails the Redskins said the biggest problem is the owner.

***

Heath Shuler almost had a good week. On Tuesday, Shuler (D-NC) led the Congressional football team to an overtime win over the Capitol Police squad in a charity football game at the DC Armory. Shuler was 29-45 with five TDs.

"It kind of brings back old times,"  Shuler told the Asheville Citizen-Times, his hometown paper. By "old times," he means his days playing QB with the Swain County High School Maroon Devils, not the Redskins.

For his performance, the Citizen-Times reported, Shuler was named the game's MVP.

But maybe the lawmen will laugh last. While Shuler was celebrating his finest football moments in DC, the Washington Post reported that investigators with a House of Representatives ethics panel are still looking into a land deal Shuler was involved in back in Knoxville, where he was once a superstar with the University of Tennessee and later a real estate honcho.

From the Post piece:

Before he was elected to Congress in 2006, Shuler invested in a real estate development called the Cove at Blackberry Ridge near Knoxville. The investment is worth from $5 million to $25 million, according to his financial disclosure reports. In August 2008, the [Knoxville] News-Sentinel reported that the TVA gave the Cove waterfront rights to build a boat dock in exchange for other land the real estate venture owned. The swap was made while Shuler sat on a House transportation subcommittee that oversaw the operations of the TVA, an entity chartered by Congress to manage the Tennessee Valley and its resources.

Worse yet, the Post originally misspelled his name ("Schuler") in the story's headline, and closed out the story with: "A call to Schuler seeking comment was not returned."

But the harshest blow came in Politico, which reported that Rep. Anthony Wiener (D-NY), and not Shuler, was actually named the charity football game's most valuable player.

And, yes, Politico also misspelled his name. From Politico's game write-up: “Heath Schuler has the offense humming after a sluggish beginning,” an announcer at the game said.

(More bad news on the Shuler beat late last week, Benjie Shuler, Heath Shuler's brother and former business partner in Heath Shuler Real Estate, what was once a powerhouse Knoxville agency, declared bankruptcy. In court filings, Benjie Shuler, who also was a reciever at the University of Tennessee while Heath was QB, listed assets of $265,000 and liabilities of over $10 million.)

***

Sunday's Washington Post has a maddening story about a superstar running back from Broad Run High School facing a suspension from an upcoming playoff game for chest bumping teammates after touchdowns. One of the chest bumps occurred on the sideline, the Post reported. Any player who gets two personal foul calls has to sit out a game. Broad Run's next game will come in the playoffs. Broad Run coaches have appealed the suspension, and Northern Virginia athletic officials have the opportunity to reverse the call.

Perhaps some facts have been twisted as the tale made its way from the sideline to the Sunday paper.

But if that story's legit, if a chest bump on the sidelines after a touchdown will indeed ruin a player's season, whoever made that call should never be allowed to work with kids again.

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Folks who bought FanZone parking passes on WJFK's web site and showed up to Saturday's preseason game with Pittsburgh found that Snyder had taken over the lot.

Yesterday, a marketing rep for CBS-owned WPGC, a WJFK sister station that was also promoting the parking lot, told me “some situations occurred” that led to Snyder’s takeover.

The marketing rep, however, would not go into detail over how the promotion, which positioned the FanZone lot as cheaper than Snyder's lots and without the new tailgating restrictions that so many fans are concerned about, fell apart.

Swanson says all the problems come from WJFK selling parking passes before getting the rights to use the land.

"[I]n a nutshell the Redskins, the radio stations and (I think) one other group were in separate negotiations to lease the lot as a parking site," Swanson tells me via email. "For reasons unbeknownst to us, the radio stations began advertising the lot without a contract and as negotiations were ongoing.  We entered terms and leased the lot for game day parking."

The Redskins did the fans who bought passes a solid for the Pittsburgh game, Swanson says: "[W]e decided to honor all of the passes the radio stations had already sold."

(AFTER THE JUMP: The sad tale of Bullets gaffer Dick Gibbs? Local rookie Brett Cecil makes his own blooper tape? Best of the decade time...already? AAU teammates Durant and Beasley make different sorts of news? Would only an idiot reference the Tom Boswell Curse?)

The radio stations are now scrambling to find a new parking lot. There's not much to work with in the area, however.

So, could FanZonegate™ be over?

Gosh, I hope not.

***

For years I've wondered what ever happened to Dick Gibbs. Thanks to the Des Moines Register, now I know.

Gibbs was briefly a Washington Bullet in the mid-1970s, but was responsible for one of the most memorable sporting moments of my formative years. Gibbs blew an uncontested, snowbird layup in the closing moments of Game 4 of the NBA Finals with the Bullets down by a point. His choke gave the Golden State Warriors a sweep and what was then regarded as perhaps the biggest upset in championship series history.

The miss made Gibbs a huge goat around here. In pickup games, me and my buddies would yell "Dick Gibbs!" at anybody going in for an uncontested layup, a euphemism for "Choke!" in hopes it would rattle 'em enough to blow the shot,  just like Gibbs blew his.

Gibbs didn't take well to goathood. He tells the Des Moines Register that the gaffe with the Bullets helped ruin his basketball career and his life.

He was traded the next season from the Bullets to Buffalo, but got the boot from the Braves after running into the stands to confront and spit in the face of a fan who heckled him about the layup that wasn't in Washington.

"How I remembered that for 25 years was that I went into the game, I missed a layup with hardly any time left, and I single-handedly cost us an NBA championship," Gibbs told the Iowa paper. "I took that one and carried it around with me."

He was living under a bridge for a while, with various addictions and mental breakdowns. Now I feel sorry now for using his name in vain all those years ago.

On behalf of all Bullets fans: We forgive you, Dick Gibbs.

***

Not to rival Gibbs's, but DeMatha alum and Toronto Blue Jays rookie pitcher Brett Cecil had his own Brain Lock Moment. Cecil's getting roasted up North for throwing a ball out of play before calling timeout during a home game against the Red Sox. The gaffe led to a Boston run in what turned into an 8-1 rout for the visitors.

The video is funny, just for the catcher's panic and the facial expressions on all concerned. But no matter what, if Cecil's living under a bridge anytime soon, he better not blame this.

***

Bad news for those just getting over Best of the Century/Millennium Lists: Best of the Decade lists are now coming out.

DCsportsfan.com just broke the crust with a poll of local boys who made good on the gridiron since 2000. The roster has too much Maryland, not enough Virginia, for my liking.

***

Michael Beasley, who'd make any list of the best basketball players to come from DC in recent years, has reportedly checked into a clinic to treat unspecified drug and emotional issues. Via the Great Dan Steinberg, happier news for Kevin Durant, Beasley's former AAU teammate from PG County and another sure all-decader: Durant scored 55 points in a Barry Farms showcase.

***

The Nats lose, if I'm carrying the one correctly, their 9th in 12 games since Tom Boswell returned from vacation. I'm not ready yet to start once again blaming all the losing on him or the Tom Boswell Curse. But I might in a loss or two...

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

For a pilot about the FBI that may or may not get picked up for a show that stars someone who recently wrapped a miniseries shoot with Treat Williams, CBS Paramount plans to explode a boat in D.C.

Karyn LeBlanc, director of communications for the D.C. Dept. of Transpo, says the explosion will happen on the Potomac, just north of the Key Bridge and Jack's Boahouse (near K/Water streets under the Whitehurst Freeway) on Wednesday between 9:30 a.m. and noon. One of six sculls in the shot will be consumed in a fireball.

"NOTE," she writes, "it will NOT blow the boat into a million little pieces. Instead there will be a 20' to 30' high fire ball that will last approximately two (2) seconds. All material will be vaporized and there may be a small plume of smoke. The sound will be a low thud; not a loud bang."

The pilot for Washington Field about an elite FBI unit stars Terri Polo, who will co-star with the aforementioned Treat Williams in the miniseries Megastorm. So if this doesn't smell like a hit, in addition to reeking of sulfur, I don't know that does.

On Thursday, August 21, an open modeling call for The Price is Right will be held, glamorously, at "Sleepy's," 5812 Kingstowne Shopping Center, Alexandria, Va., from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. The one contestant whose beauty can not be tamed will go on to compete with national finalists for the opportunity to appear on an episode of The Price is Right.

Or, you could just make a "My Pets Have Been Spayed and Neutered" t-shirt.