The Washington Nationals took out a full-page advertisement in Sunday's Washington Post.

Sure, the Nats season ended a while ago. But it makes sense that the Lerners would reach out while local sports fans are planning their sports ticket budgets and deleting Dan Snyder and Redskins.

But this Nationals ad is horrible.

After an all-glowing recap of the 2009 season -- two of these three made the cut: Zimmerman/Dunn had big homer totals, Stephen Stasburg signed, and the Nats had THE WORST RECORD IN ALL OF BASEBALL -- the ad copy climaxes with "[W]e can all see why Washington, DC is truly becoming the home of the National Pastime in the Nation's Capital."

Washington, DC is the home of baseball in the Nation's Capital? Who knew?

And who wrote that?

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WUSA is also kicking the Redskins when they're down.  Advertisements for the local CBS affiliate that ran during the Ravens game yesterday urged Skins fans to "sound off " about the team.

"We won't throw away your signs!" said the voiceover.

Ouchie wouchie! Didn't you WUSA guys used to be covert "partners" with Snyder and help him out with all his infomercials? Guess the contract's up.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Reebok boasts of its butt-enhancement powers? Shannon Sharpe goes after the Redskins? Dan Marino goes after the Redskins? 66 percent of CBS viewers go after the Redskins? Dan Marino says Bill Cowher ain't gonna go for the Redskins? Heath Shuler has MVP award taken away from him by Politico? Ethics panel still gunning for Shuler? Chest bumping on the sidelines can get you suspended?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Dan Marino Says the Redskins Won’t Land Anybody Like Bill Cowher?" »

FanZoneGate™ Update: Redskins spokesman Karl Swanson says WJFK, a new sportsradio station and rival to Dan Snyder's WTEM, had no business selling passes to the FanZone, a new private parking lot near FedExField that was set to compete with the Snyder-owned lots on Redskins game days.

Folks who bought FanZone parking passes on WJFK's web site and showed up to Saturday's preseason game with Pittsburgh found that Snyder had taken over the lot.

Yesterday, a marketing rep for CBS-owned WPGC, a WJFK sister station that was also promoting the parking lot, told me “some situations occurred” that led to Snyder’s takeover.

The marketing rep, however, would not go into detail over how the promotion, which positioned the FanZone lot as cheaper than Snyder's lots and without the new tailgating restrictions that so many fans are concerned about, fell apart.

Swanson says all the problems come from WJFK selling parking passes before getting the rights to use the land.

"[I]n a nutshell the Redskins, the radio stations and (I think) one other group were in separate negotiations to lease the lot as a parking site," Swanson tells me via email. "For reasons unbeknownst to us, the radio stations began advertising the lot without a contract and as negotiations were ongoing.  We entered terms and leased the lot for game day parking."

The Redskins did the fans who bought passes a solid for the Pittsburgh game, Swanson says: "[W]e decided to honor all of the passes the radio stations had already sold."

(AFTER THE JUMP: The sad tale of Bullets gaffer Dick Gibbs? Local rookie Brett Cecil makes his own blooper tape? Best of the decade time...already? AAU teammates Durant and Beasley make different sorts of news? Would only an idiot reference the Tom Boswell Curse?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Snyder Crushes Radio Rival WJFK in Redskins Parking Lot Battle" »

For a pilot about the FBI that may or may not get picked up for a show that stars someone who recently wrapped a miniseries shoot with Treat Williams, CBS Paramount plans to explode a boat in D.C.

Karyn LeBlanc, director of communications for the D.C. Dept. of Transpo, says the explosion will happen on the Potomac, just north of the Key Bridge and Jack's Boahouse (near K/Water streets under the Whitehurst Freeway) on Wednesday between 9:30 a.m. and noon. One of six sculls in the shot will be consumed in a fireball.

"NOTE," she writes, "it will NOT blow the boat into a million little pieces. Instead there will be a 20' to 30' high fire ball that will last approximately two (2) seconds. All material will be vaporized and there may be a small plume of smoke. The sound will be a low thud; not a loud bang."

Read More "CBS to Blow Stuff Up on the Potomac Wednesday" »

When it comes to attractive Washingtonians, the City Paper staff doesn't exactly top the list. At least we're in good company: I'm willing to bet that the average CityDesk reader has a face for bitter, anonymous Internet commentary. But surely, there must be one hidden jewel among us who can rise up above the mass of Washington's blog trolls and declare, 'Me! I am a majestic animal! I shall appear on an episode of television's longest running game show, CBS's The Price is Right!"

On Thursday, August 21, an open modeling call for The Price is Right will be held, glamorously, at "Sleepy's," 5812 Kingstowne Shopping Center, Alexandria, Va., from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. The one contestant whose beauty can not be tamed will go on to compete with national finalists for the opportunity to appear on an episode of The Price is Right.

Or, you could just make a "My Pets Have Been Spayed and Neutered" t-shirt.