How often do you get to say that? I'm saying it a lot lately.

To wit: For the current print edition of Washington City Paper, which, coincidentally or not, is made of the very same material as the $100 bill, while the internet version is made of nothingness, I wrote about the disappearance of the Clark Griffith League. Pick up a copy, read the column, patronize the advertisers, SOS...

I'm crushed by the league's sorry state. Clark Griffith League baseball was a seasonal institution around here my whole life, and a local version of the Cape Cod League, where the players were of college age and the bats were wood. A Clark Griffith League legend and the purest baseball man I ever met, Harry "Jake" Jacobs, lived near my boyhood home in Falls Church, and I've been going to a games for decades — though never as many as I told myself I will at the beginning of each summer. The talent level was always awesome — hundreds of pro ballplayers with some D.C. roots, including Yankees superstar Mark Teixiera and Boston reliever Jon Papelbon and Nats manager Jim Riggleman toiled in the federation before anybody knew who they were.

And, even better than the skills, the games of the Clark Griffith League always reeked of old school baseball. The Vienna Senators, a flagship Clark Griffith League franchise that played at Waters Field, a baseball megacomplex in Northern Virginia, always offered free admission, quaint promotions, and community involvement out the ying-yang. Hearing some little kid belt out an off-key version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch always got to me.

A few Friday nights ago I happened to be in the Shenandoah Valley region and caught a game of the New Market Rebels, one of the signature teams of the Valley Baseball League, the Western Virginia confederation for amateur ballers. I was in awe. Old guys walked through the grandstands all night selling Fifty/Fifty raffle tickets, the local dairy council gave away free cake and milk, and we got the off-key version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Oh, and I also got a great ballgame that went 11 innings before the Rebs lost.

The whole event got me totally jazzed about the Clark Griffith League's upcoming season.

As soon as I got home I went online to get the league's 2010 schedule, yet saw only 2009 dates listed. After some Googling and phone calls I learned that there wouldn't be a 2010 season, and there's no guarantee there'll be a 2011 season, or any more seasons of Clark Griffith League ball.

Again, I'm crushed. Turns out the beginning of the end came when the Southern Maryland Cardinals jumped from the Clark Griffith League to the Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball League. That's the third Griffith team to defect to the more Baltimore-centric Ripken in five years, and the Griffith League might not recover from this one.

In fairness to the Iron Man, Cal Ripken Jr. doesn't have a close personal relationship with the league that bears his name. Originally, his family foundation licensed the name "Cal Ripken, Sr" to the wood bat league. But recently that licensing deal has been re-written and the Sr. was taken out so as to exploit the notoriety of Cal Jr. And, if you take the money, you gotta take the heat.

And while the Ripken league flourishes, now we've got no Clark Griffith Baseball in D.C. this summer.

Hence: "Darn you, Cal Ripken!"

After spending years in a shamed self-exile, McGwire's confession came as he sniveled through an interview with Bob Costas for the MLB Network.

While saying he wished he'd never done drugs and wished he'd never played baseball during the steroids era Dead Balls Era™, McGwire also blamed baseball's lack of steroids testing for his decade-long (he says) drug-taking. He said he didn't take a lot of 'roids, and they didn't help his hitting. The forbidden fruit of the day just kept him healthy, McGwire said.

He looked sad and lost. I liked McGwire better when he said under oath that he didn't want to talk about steroids.

Baseball fans in DC sure benefited from his drug taking. During batting practice at RFK Stadium in 1999, before a Cardinals/Expos exhibition game, McGwire hit two balls to the roof. Nobody there, present company included, had ever seen anything like it, because nothing like it had ever taken place. Within a matter of seconds, McGwire had reduced every tape measure shot ever hit there — even the ones Frank Howard hit which are commemorated with painted seats in the upper deck — seem like Texas Leaguers.

I'd never witnessed any athletic feat of any sort quite like McGwire's.

But, as McGwire pointed out yesterday, the drugs didn't put those balls on the roof. Other than, you know, keeping McGwire healthy enough to do it.

I remember watching McGwire after his feats of inhuman strength. He went back behind the batting cage and canoodled with his batting practice guest that day, Goldberg, the pro wrestling champion and a guy who always looked like a fellow synthetic testosterone connoisseur. Wrestlers don't have to cry or apologize for shooting things into their bodies. In any case, McGwire dwarfed Goldberg.

(AFTER THE JUMP: What's this mean for Mike Lupica? Even Thomas Boswell got caught up in the Dead Balls Era™? Another forced Google hit for Dead Balls Era™? Whatever happened to A.J. English? Not Alex English?)

The McGwire interview just continues the pain for Mike Lupica. He's the author of "Summer of '98," a book about the McGwire/Sosa home run duel and how that season enhanced Lupica's relationship with his three sons. From the Publishers Weekly blurb on Lupica's work:

In his columns, Lupica often deals with strikes, the atrocious behavior of some overpaid athletes and all the tawdriness of sports business and hype. But, in this book, he gives himself completely over to the beauty of baseball as both a game and as an agent of bonding between fathers and children.

Amazon has 37 copies available "from $0.01."

Washington Post columnist Tom Boswell, who blasted Jose Canseco for suspected steroid use as far back as the late-1980s, threw away his suspicions and picked up pom poms a decade later.

Here's a bit of his story that ran on Sept. 14, 1998:

Yesterday, baseball produced a moment that, for me, may have been more enjoyable than McGwire's 62nd homer: Sosa hit his 61st and 62nd. Hit them in a crucial game in the wild-card race won, 11-10, by the Cubs in the 10th inning. He hit them at Wrigley Field as the wonderful ivy-addled loonies went nuts. Both balls were crushed at least 480 feet.

Yesterday, Sosa matched McGwire in every way. When Sosa came to the plate with one out, nobody on base and the Cubs trailing by two runs in the ninth, my 11-year-old son Russell was literally jumping up and down in front of the TV.

Big winner yesterday: Barry Bonds. Let the feds try to put him in jail now, with everybody else already outed. He's in, well, the clear. (How slow are the wheels of justice moving in the U.S. vs. Bonds, anyway?)

The court of public opinion, if no other judicial body, has already convicted McGwire's rival Sammy Sosa, Alex Rodriguez, Roger Clemens, Manny Ramirez, and Rafael Palmeiro of using drugs. Since baseball locker rooms are real small and baseball contracts are real big, common sense tells us now that everybody used the so-called performance enhancing drugs.

Now we just have to wait for Cal Ripken to come out and confess to being a P.E.D.-ophile. Just say you took 'em and let us close the book on (here it comes!) the Dead Balls Era™.

***

Where are they now? Well, here's former Bullet AJ English.

A small story on the wires about a Delaware high school basketball game caught my eye.

At the Appoquinimink boys basketball game against Howard on Tuesday evening, junior A.J. English III, who was on the bench in street clothes while serving a suspension, left the court and went into the locker room along with his brother A’Jen, a sophomore starting guard, at the conclusion of the first quarter and neither player returned.

They're sons of AJ English, who the Washington Bullets got with a second round pick in 1990 draft. English had a quiet two year career in the pros — and is remembered in NBA circles only as the guy who was always confused with the far more successful Alex English.

I, for one, still confuse the two. Which is the only reason I read the story. But the part about brothers standing up for each other as the English boys did got me intrigued, and through some Googling it seems AJ III is a hot prospect for Appoquinimink who got in a spot of trouble with the beautifully named basketball Coach, Spencer Dunkley, and that got his former Bullet dad, who goes by A.J. Jr. in these matters, into a tussle with the coach in the local media.

First, after a loss, Appoquinimink coach told the local paper, the Middletown Transcript: “Can't play with them. Can't win with them. Won't play with them. Don't need them. Please put that in the newspaper. Thanks, that's all I have to say."

So the high school beat reporter went to the former Bullet. And got this:

A.J. English Jr. had this to say about Appoquinimink High coach Spencer Dunkley’s quotes after a 62-61 loss to Middletown:

“That doesn’t deserve a response,” A.J. Jr. said. “My maturity level allows me to take the high road on that. Any coach knows you keep that kind of stuff in the lockerroom and out of the newspaper. How can any kid trust him after that?

“He showed his inexperience by making those statements.”

Appo's leading scorer A.J. English III was on the bench as time wound down and his team was down a point.English Jr. said A.J. III was suspended until Monday, Dec. 21 and is uncertain if he'll return.

I do get giggles out of the lengths some parents go to for alliterative kids names, tho. "A'Jen" seems a stretch. Guess "Alex" wasn't on the board.

***

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For all his media hatred, Dan Snyder stuffs his staff with media people. Karl Swanson was in newspapers. Larry Michael was a radio executive. Even Vinny Cerrato came back to the team after a stint at ESPN, where he spent a season in exile after being banished by Marty Schottenheimer (who looks more like Vince Lombardi every season for what he accomplished here.)

Turns out the latest attack dog added to Snyder's pack, David Donovan, fits the pattern. Donovan's complete lack of respect for the media or the truth or both comes out every time he talks to a reporter these days. For but one example of Donovan's outlook: He's the guy who told the Washington Post a couple weeks ago that Redskins officials "don't see any difference" in "the way our actual fans are behaving" this season.

But, there was a time when Donovan was way into newspapering. It was all spelled out in a 2007 feature story in the Daily Times Herald of Carroll, Iowa, his hometown, to honor the local boy made good when he took the job as General Counsel with the Redskins.

Make that the local paperboy made good.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Iowa State gave DC David Donovan AND Vinny Cerrato? What did DC ever do to Iowa State to deserve that? Why did David Donovan join the dark side leave journalism? Snyder's media appearance starting to smell fishy? Ripken statue stolen by guy named Stoneburner who hangs out with a bunch of stoneburners?)

"As a youth David worked as a paperboy here at the Daily Times Herald and also spent time in this newspaper's circulation department," we're told.

And then we learn that Donovan was editor of The Charger, the student newspaper at Kuemper Catholic High School in Carroll.

And that at Iowa State University, his alma mater (and also Vinny Cerrato's alma mater, hmmmm), Donovan got his degree in journalism. And when his college schedule allowed, Donovan interned at the Daily Times Herald "covering general news and sports under the tutelage of former Sports Editor Dennis O'Grady."

He was dead set on being a newspaper man.

After ISU, Donovan headed to Florida with no assurances of landing a job, and no firm prospects.

"I moved to St. Petersburg and went to every newspaper in the area," Donovan said.

Only hours away from having to scuttle his journalistic plans and work in a warehouse so he could eat, Donovan talked his way into a copy-editing job at the St. Petersburg Times – widely regarded today as one of the best newspapers in the nation.  Soon, at only age 22, Donovan moved to the Sarasota Journal, a small, 6,000-circulation afternoon paper affiliated with a larger daily.

Then Donovan married a newspaperwoman. And when he got accepted to Georgetown University Law School, he enrolled, but only because he thought a J.D. would help his newspaper career!

He said that during law school it was his intent to use the legal education to further a journalism career.

"I went to law school without any expectations of practicing law," Donovan said.

But, alas, Donovan was a good law student. And during his early days as a practicing attorney, we learn from the story, Donovan had the epiphany that caused to him to give up journalism, and, from the sound of things lately, lose all respect for those who practice it.

"As a reporter, when you call people, they can hang up," Donovan told the Carroll Daily Times Herald. "When you're a lawyer and someone doesn't talk, you can send a subpoena."

What a line! Kinda removes the mystery about who at Redskins Park was behind suing the grandmother.

***

That "rare in-season" media appearance by Dan Snyder on Tuesday at a team-organized charity event is starting to smell.

The only TV person on the scene was Lindsay Czarniak. She's with WRC-4.

Here's a list, taken from a transcript of what Snyder said that was printed on Snyder's website, of all the questions Czarniak asked, in order:

1)What does this mean to you, to be able to be out here?

2)Does it mean something special to get the cheers out there? Is it a refreshing feeling for once?

3)One thing I wanted to ask you, Dan, is about some of the negativity that has been around this team. When you look at things like the ticket controversy and then the signs being banned, does it feel like being out here and getting a chance to turn things around, where do you stand on that stuff?

4)You're human. How does it impact you?

5)People look at you and see the uber-Redskins fan. What are your thoughts about what's going on with this team?

7)What do you need from here on out? What's the next step for you?

Good golly. "You're human!" "People look at you and see the uber Redskins fan"? "What do you need?"

These are the sort of questions you'd think only somebody on the payroll would ask! I mean, only somebody who would wear licensed Redskins shirts on the air would say that!

Oh, wait! Czarniak is an employee of Snyder's Redskins Broadcast Network who talks about the Redskins while wearing licensed Redskins shirts on WRC's news broadcasts! Coincidence?

And now Pro Football Talk reports that the announcement the Redskins put out about the team's charity event, held at a Maryland high school, didn't mention that Snyder would be talking.

So all the newspaper people stayed away, except AP's Joseph White, who didn't get any questions in. And all the local TV reporters stayed away, except Czarniak. And Snyder only talked to Czarniak, who's on Snyder's payroll! And who asks how's he feeling and tells him he's "human" and the "uber-Redskins fan!"

Wow. 'Course, if it wasn't for Czarniak's Redskins employment and licensed wardrobe, nobody's suspect a thing.

***

One of Cal Ripken's statuenappers 'fessed up and was sentenced. Jason Stoneburner, who from the sound of things is a real stoneburner, got a suspended two years jail term and restitution to the Baltimore Orioles of about a thousand bucks. Seems fair.

Now he'll surely have to go state's evidence against the three other stoneburners (including Gary Parker, pictured above) who allegedly helped him rip Ripken's statue  — which, contrary to his reputation as an Iron Man, was made of aluminum — from its moorings at Camden Yards one September night.

The crew, all in their upper teens, threw Ripken in the back of their pickup before heading over to Patterson Park for one last round of, you know, stoneburning before lawmen got involved and saved Baltimore's favorite son.

***

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So over that on WRC, Lindsay Czarniak did her sports report Sunday night without ANY visible Skins logos on her person. (Fact.)

So over that Sonny Jurgensen didn't tussle with Jim Zorn in his postgame interview. (Fact.)

So over that starting this week, the Virginia Lottery has changed first prize for its $20 Redskins scratch tickets to two (2) Redskins season tickets, and second prize to four (4) Redskins season tickets. (Fiction!)

Butt seriously:  What kind of buffoon is going to pay $20, the most heinous sum in the history of lotteries, for a chance to win Skins season tickets that pretty soon won't be worth $20? Commercials for the scratch tickets ran throughout the Redskins radio broadcast yesterday, and the uglier the game got, the more absurd the prizes  seemed. Who wants ANYTHING associated with the Redskins right now?

Coming soon to a courthouse near you: Dan Snyder sues lottery winners who turn down their Skins season tickets. (Fiction.)

But, good god, are the 2009 Skins over. (Fact.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Skins' suckage is the lead local story? The national newspeople take break into Tiger Woods coverage to dump on the Skins? Jurgensen takes it easy on Zorn? Sam Huff can't stomach Albert Haynesworth? Will Haynesworth make everybody forget Dana Stubblefield? Bad news is good news for extremeskins.com? Who is this "Synder" fella? Nats get swept again? The Nats Tragic Number is down to what? It's hockey season?)

"There's no way to overstate just how bad this is," said anchorman Craig Melvin to open the evening news broadcast at WRC, a place where news employees actually work for Dan Snyder and are known to wear their fealty to the Skins owner on their shirtsleeves. (Czarniak told the Tony Kornheiser Show last week that somebody above her, either station management or Dan Snyder, forced her to wear Redskins clothing on the air.) Several minutes of doom and doomer about the loss in Detroit followed on WRC.

Fox 5 also led off its 10 o clock news with the Skins: "Disappointment, anger frustation..." said anchor Will Thomas. "Keep going!" co-anchor Maureen Umeh chimed in.

Earlier in the day, Jurgensen also seemed at a loss for words during his post-game locker-room interview with Zorn. The Hall of Fame QB dropped the attack-dog style he'd used on the Redskins coach in recent weeks. There was no fight left in Zorn.

"We must change," Zorn told Jurgy.

At the exact moment that Zorn and Sonny were moping it up on Dan Snyder's radio station, WTEM, the Detroit Lions players were being shown on national TV walking around the perimeter of Ford Field accepting fans' congratulations like they'd all just broken Cal Ripken's streak.

***

The Redskins are a national cause for concern, too: NBC interrupted its FedEx Cup golf tournament broadcast to alert viewers that the Lions had won for the first time since 2007.

"It'll be a long week for the Redskins," said the NBC anchorwoman.

***

There were some fantastic radio moments between Skins play-by-play man Larry Michael and color commentator Sam Huff during yesterday's WTEM game broadcast when the neo-Stubblefield, Albert Haynesworth, made his first sack of the season and stayed on the Detroit turf. Huff is tired of the $100 million man's slothful demeanor on gamedays.

Michael: Haynesworth is down!

Huff: He's tired...

Michael: And he has not moved!

Huff: Tired

Haynesworth was eventually taken off the field by medical personnel on a cart.

***

Drama can be good for business: Dan Snyder's message board, extremeskins.com, is claiming its all time record for traffic was broken after the game by a factor of 1 and a half.

As soon as a thread expressing all the bad feelings was closed, another one was started. Typical was one titled: If You Shared an Elevator With Dan Snyder Tomorrow...........What would you say to him?

"I'd fart," said the poster Arkawi, the only guy to get in before moderators shut down the thread.

The traffic flow at Snyder's web site was no doubt helped by the traffic tie-up at Snyder's sports talker, WTEM-AM. For whatever reason, host Al Galdi took a paltry amount of callers in his two-hour or so post-game show, despite running out of ways to say that the Redskins had lost early into the program. One of the few listeners who managed to override WTEM's filibuster and get on the air railed against the owner and tagged Vinny Cerrato as Snyder's "personal sock puppet."

WJFK, meanwhile, didn't even have a postgame show to let fans decompress. Instead, the area's newest sportstalker aired a live broadcast of the Pittsburgh Steelers/Cincinnati Bengals game.

Via email, WJFK boss Chris Kinard explained his station's programming choice: "By contract with Westwood [One, an NFL syndicator], we have to carry their late afternoon game. It's part of the deal to carry Sunday and Monday Night Football. We had a postgame last week when the Ravens game was blacked out locally, and will do expanded pre and post coverage whenever possible."

Kinard, who says he also noticed how few callers were allowed on WTEM after the game, promises to let fans vent to their heart's content today.

"We're going to open the phone lines all day," he says. "Should be interesting."

***

The Washington Post dealt the Redskins owner the lowest of blows yesterday. From an introduction to Michael Wilbon's Sunday column in support of not firing the coach: "Jim Zorn is Daniel M. Synder's sixth coach."

"Synder!"

Somewhere along the way, for reasons I'm not sure of, "Synder" became the go-to nickname for hardcore Redskins fans when mocking the team's owner.

"Schottenheimer" was spelled correctly in Wilbon's piece.

***

Nats lose! Nats lose!

Swept away...again. This time by the Atlanta Braves. At 52-103, the Road to 100 Losses is but a memory.  If I'm carrying the one correctly, the Nats' Tragic Number, guaranteeing the team the worst record in the Majors, is down to two — any combination of Washington losses or Pittsburgh Pirates wins, and our team's got the top draft pick all over again.

Good thing it's hockey season!

***

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***

A near-miss must-read: "A Decade of Snyder the Decider," an interactive piece that came out this week on the Washington Post's site. An amazing amount of work and brainpower went into the feature. Everything you want to know about Dan Snyder's reign is right there in a few squared inches. You just have to click and click and click and click to get it.

But in the end this delivery system is totally unsatisfying to any football fan who likes to read about the game in a real sports page. It's the difference between listening to the White Album on vinyl through a tube amp while holding the double-LP's sleeve and fingering through all the sleeve-candy, or listening to the White Album through headphones and an iPod (if it were available on iTunes, that is).

(AFTER THE JUMP: Vick Chew Toy giveaway is real? Marv Throneberry trumps Cal? The Felds run Monster Trucks, too? Harvey Grant's kid follows in Adrian Dantley's footsteps? Mark Brunell's the Bill Graham of Christian rock? Nats countdown update?)

Another thing I'll never get past: You can't take a dump with it.

***

After reading an advertisement in yesterday's real Washington Post in which a dog rescue group offered to donate bags of food for every tackle of Michael Vick, I tried making a joke about an animal rights group's putting a bounty on the recovering dogfighter in the headline of my post: "And If You Break Michael Vick’s Leg, We’ll Throw in a Chew Toy!"

Well, as pointed out by a reader, turns out life imitates bad humor. The chew toy offer has already been made, minus the broken bones.

A group called Bark for Awareness will give away an Official Vick Dog Chew Toy™ to any dog-saving group for every touchdown the Eagles score this year. Go here to register for the freebies.

***

A DC sporting tradition is about to be restored: Jerian Grant, a son of ex-Bullet Harvey Grant, is going to play basketball at Notre Dame.

The DeMatha senior just gave a verbal commitment to the Notre Dame staff. And that puts Grant at the front of a long line of locals to make the same pledge.

From DeMatha alone, there's Bob Whitmore (Class of 1965), Sid Catlett ('67), and future NCAA player of the year and NBA Hall of Famer Adrian Dantley ('73). Other DC stars at Notre Dame over the years have included Austin Carr of Mackin, Tracy Jackson of Paint Branch, Gonzaga's Tom Sluby and Potomac of Oxon Hill's Monty Williams.

The Notre Dame bench, of course, also features head coach Mike Brey (DeMatha Class of '77) and his assistant, Rod Balanis (Class of '88).

***

Thom Loverro shows his Greatness with "Marv Throneberry's Number Stolen," a blog post inspired by the theft of the #8 monument earlier this week from Camden Yards.

Other writers have focused on another Oriole who had that number. To Loverro, it belongs to Marvelous Marv, the first famous, or infamous, O's player to sport it.

"Throneberry came to the Orioles in a trade with the Kansas City Athletics for Gene Stephens in the middle of the 1961 season," Loverro writes. "He would go on to play first base and hit five home runs and 11 RBI over 65 games in two half seasons. He was traded to the New York Mets in May 1962 for cash and a player to be named later, which turned out to be catcher Hobie Landrith."

And, oh, right: "Other Orioles who have worn number 8 include Andy Etchebarren and Cal Ripken," Loverro writes.

***

The Felds, who have been sort of the First Family of Fun for fifty years or so, have quietly become a force in big-league motorsports.

The now-Northern Virginia-based corporation was founded by Izzy and Irvin Feld, a pair of snake oil selling (really!) siblings from Hagerstown who got their DC empire started at Super Cut Rate Drugs, a pharmacy on 7th St. NW in Shaw. The Felds' production company went on to own Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, Disney on Ice and High School Musical.

But in recent years the Felds have taken over control of big chunks of the motocross and monster trucks and drag racing realms. The corporation pulls strings for the International Hot Rod Association, among the world's premier sanctioning bodies for dragging. have just announced they have brought Virginia Motorsports Park, a drag strip in Petersburg, Va., back as a big league IHRA venue.

Of course, some folks are still a little peeved at the Felds for putting Buddy Holly on a tour of the Midwest in the winter of 1959 in a bus with no working heater, causing the young genius to lease an airplane and crash and die in an Iowa field, and then the Felds made the surviving rockers continue the tour rather than take a break to go to Buddy's funeral.

What would the world look like if only Buddy's bus had heat?

***

Mark Brunell and Dan Snyder are still doing some business: Over Labor Day, the Newsboys, a Christian rock group, played Six Flags America in Largo.

The Newsboys record for inPop Records, a Nashville label for godly groups co-owned by Brunell and other major figures in the controversial Every Nation Church.

Countdown to 100 Losses: Nats lose, 6-5, in Philadelphia. That puts the team's 2009 record at 47-92, just eight defeats away from the Century mark.

***

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Lalich transferred to Oregon as soon as his run in Charlottesville went to hell, and, because of some weird quirk having something to do with his new school being on a quarter system and not semesters, he'll be eligible to play this season.

If the punishment schedule announced last year still holds, Lalich should get his drivers license back this week from Virginia authorities. It makes sense that Lalich would be on a practice field this time of year, but... Why isn't he in Oregon?

***

Another formerly local athlete in some legal heat, and not dealing real well with it: Antonio Pierce, the ex-Redskins linebacker turned Giant person of interest in the Plaxico Burress thigh blast case, is making enemies with his tweets.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Examiner column calls out Duds? Godly folks are coming after the racist Redskins? Who says Cal Ripken and/or Eddie Murray were juiced? FedExField also sucks for things other than football games? Jeremy Mayfield called his stepmomma THAT? Van Pelt goes for big bucks, but Czarniak goes bid-less?)

After testifying before a grand jury, Pierce, who could face weapons charges of his own, twatted: "sometimes u have to Draw a line in the Stand and see what side PEOPLE are on.. Well damn heres the Line!!...A coward dies many deaths but a soldier only dies ONCE!!"

Let others say Pierce's behavior here is off — The New York Post called him "Tweet-le Dum Dum" — but he had me at "line in the Stand"...

***

John Keim at the Examiner has a nice addition to his paper's Skins coverage: the "Studs and Duds" column. At the end of each day of practice, Keim calls out folks who make plays, and those who mistakes. Sure, it's impossible to watch everything that goes on during workouts, so Keim misses at least half the big plays and half the, well, duds. But call-out columns make things interesting. If a guy screws up in practice, why not write about it? Don't say he's mean to his mother or he's a dog killer (unless it's, well, you know) ! Just say he blew this or that. I read every day.

***

The roots don't get any grassier: A religious group in Delaware has made changing the name of the Redskins a top priority. The Peninsula-Delaware Conference of the United Methodist Church, which represents 464 churches and claims about 100,000 congregants, has stopped using FedEx's package delivery services becuase that company is a major sponsor of the Washington Redskins. There are tentative plans to hold rallies at Redskins games this season, also. The team's name is "racially demeaning," church leaders explained in announcing the FedEx boycott. I always love to hear folks argue the other side of this issue, since, well, there isn't another side.

***

'Course, the racist team name isn't the only reason some folks stay away from FedExField. In fact, FedExField all by itself gives more fans the motivation to stay home. Venue-related problems during Paul McCartney's appearance on Saturday added to the stadium's shitty legend.

Real Madrid shows up this weekend!

***

Road to Ripken™ Update: ESPN quoted Jose Canseco, the Deep Throat of the Dead Balls Era, as saying that the Hall of Fame has at least one P.E.D.-ophile.

Canseco didn't drop the name, however.

We know by now that everything Canseco says is proven true after a brief delay. So who slipped through the cracks at Cooperstown? A blog post about Canseco's statements at USA Today's website generated more guesses about famous former Orioles — Eddie Murray and Cal Ripken, specifically — than those from any other team.

So, come on, Cal. Confess. Say you used 'roids. Even if you didn't. Then we can all move on. The game needs you!

***

Feeling sorry for yourself? Yeah, me too!

So, together let's mull the State of Jeremy Mayfield. First NASCAR kicked him off the track for allegedly testing positive for methamphetamine after a race in Richmond. Then he went public saying he'd ever used the drug. Must be cold medicine, he said. Then NASCAR said "Oh Really?" and released the results of ANOTHER recent test where Mayfield's pee pee was allegedly tainted. He's still claiming a frame job, but he's done on the track. And now his stepmother has sued him for saying, "She's basically a whore. She shot and killed my dad."

I'm no F. Lee Bailey, but I think his "basically"'s like my"allegedly" here.

***

Bobblehead Update: The Scott Van Pelt bobblehead twins, from a Bowie Baysox giveaway, just sold for $88 plus postage on eBay. The auction of Lindsay Czarniak's 'head, a 2008 Baysox freebie, ends today at around 11:30 a.m. The creepy vendor is asking about $70. So far, alas, Czarniak has gotten no bids.

***

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Almost. There's still one holdup: Cal Ripken hasn't been nailed yet.

Every other boy of summer that any kid of the 1990s and beyond ever looked up to has already been ruined during the federal government's bizarre 'roid raids.

Cal's the last man standing.

Ripken always said he cared deeply about the game of baseball. If you meant it, Cal, please come forward now and confess.

Make something up if you have to. Just say you watched your pal Brady Anderson grow overnight from a base-stealing, punch-and-judy hitter into a mini-McGwire, and when Anderson nailed 50 homers in 1996, you started putting things in your body.

Who wouldn't believe that? You don't even have to say what it was you took, Cal. Nobody does anymore!

Then we can all move on.

Until we exhume Babe Ruth's body. That dude HAD to be juiced.