At Washington City Paper, we agree—and it’s not just freedom that comes with some kind of price tag. After all, there’s no such thing as a free brunch.

Illustrations by Brooke Hatfield

The Early Brunch Catches the Worm: A leisurely weekend morning spent guzzling mimosas and bloody Marys typically wouldn't get started until nearly noon; after all, the Venn diagram intersection of "people up early on a Sunday" and "people who want to drink on Sunday mornings" isn't usually very large. But the city's coffers need a boost, and so booze service at brunch could soon start at 8 a.m., instead of 10 a.m., which would bring in more alcohol tax revenue. We've got a civic duty here, folks. Drink up. +2

Big Republican Brother is Watching: Bad enough Congress decided to dictate what the District could do with its own local revenues—now lawmakers have decided to get snippy about it. A large group of Republicans sent Mayor Vince Gray a letter recently, demanding answers about how much money the city spent on abortions last year. Particularly galling to the GOP: District officials are likelier to cooperate with The Washington Post than with Congress on requests for information! Finally, an area where we at Washington City Paper can find common ground with Michele Bachmann. -2

Blast-ed: First they came for Four Loko, and we did not speak up, because we did not drink Four Loko (mostly because we are not 19 years old). Now Maryland authorities are after Pabst Brewing Company's "Blast by Colt 45" fruit-flavored alcohol bombs, calling the 23.5-ounce drinks a "binge in a can." Again, we will not speak up, because, frankly, the stuff sounds kind of gross. At any rate, you can still buy it in D.C., even if Maryland Attorney General Doug Gansler has his way in the Old Line State. +1

A Streetcar Named Delay: Streetcars were initially supposed to be running along the District's roads by next spring. And if you believed that, you'll believe anything. The official launch has now been pushed back to next fall, instead. So far, funding for the H Street-Benning Road line is secure. But if you believe it'll stay that way, you might also have believed the line would open on the original schedule. -2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 66 Today's score: -1 Today's Needle rating: 65

Today I leave the best job I ever had, and that counts a brief stint at Trader Joe's where I tried to get health care after knocking over several cases of Two Buck Chuck with my ass. As asst. managing editor at Washington City Paper for the past two and half years, my job has been mostly plumbing, behind the walls, keeping things running without a nasty backup. But one cannot be merely a plumber and still be employed at an award-winning alternative weekly decimated by its ownership in the digital age. One has to blog.

I know all of you loyal City Desk readers have been following my posts with great vigor. And, so, as my parting gift to you, I give you the highlights of my tenure here (critters, baking, dudes living in their basements, Michael Phelps, D.C. brunch culture [FYI: It still sucks], and did I mention Michael Phelps?), as well as a super sappy goodbye.

First, I want to thank all of the commenters who agree with me regarding Sarah Palin and her inferiority to owls. Because do you know what? Owls are awesome and Sarah Palin is not. I stand by my original post. If you like that one—and so many of you did—I would encourage you to please check out my ongoing reportage on critters, including the saga of Lucy the Ninja Dog, ways coyote piss can rid this city of rats, and the adorable cuteness of this bedbug-sniffing beagle.

There were also a number of you who could not hold back the love when it came to my take on brunch. For the record: I am not leaving D.C. because of my hatred of its brunch culture. But it never entered the plus column. And, although I continue to believe what I wrote, I recently discovered that the city I am moving to has a "jazz brunch." So it seems this paticular sort of suck is not limited to the D.C. metropolitan area. I plan to take down brunch culture in greater Missoula, Mont., in the next incarnation of my career, so stay tuned.

And, unlike this guy, I do plan to have a career that takes me very far away from both my parents' basement and Brazillian "game." Thanks, Roosh V, for the memories.

But if my life as a brunch-taker-downer falls flat, I can always fall back on my many successes as a baker. I just don't know if the Marcello Goldberger Brown Sugar Chocolate Chunk Cookie will have a wider audience.

I do know that I have had the opportunity at City Paper to work with amazing, talented, tough people who make me laugh and challenge me as a journalist and who made me love my job. Among them are the above gentlemen, pictured hanging out in my old cube: Joe Eaton, Jason Cherkis, and Darrow Montgomery. I especially want to thank my bosses, Andrew Beaujon and Erik Wemple. I have never worked for finer people. I now join a cast of alumni who've left reluctantly, realizing it probably doesn't get any better than this.

Looking back on my work here, it's possible that blogging may not have been the strong suit for an old gal who started in newsrooms that didn't have Internet, but I didn't come here to become a great blogger.

I came here to be a part of something great. And I was. Thank you, colleagues and readers, for all of it.